Monday Night Combat

Hey guys it’s Sam and you remember how I got a 360, right? (If u don’t, click here!)

Well, we have tons of demos, including Sonic 1-3, Sonic and Knuckles, Sonic Adventure, Sonic Unleashed, and even Sonic and Sega All Stars Racing. We also have few trials, including Sonic 4: Episode I, and Monday Night Combat.

I’m basically here to talk about the trial for Monday Night Combat. It’s crazy fun, and it doesn’t even have blood in it, unlike Mortal Kombat. Let me tell you how it goes:

You are either an Assault, Tank, Sniper, Assassin, Support, or a Gunner. You have to protect your Moneyball (a stationary ball full of $$$) from being destroyed, while destroying your opponent’s Moneyball to win. It’s basically that you must abide and conquer, or it’s that all your base are belong to you.

One mode is Crossfire, where teams of six compete to destroy one another’s Moneyball. Another mode is Blitz which can be played local or via Xbox LIVE, in versions like Exhibition and Season, where up to four characters protect their Moneyball against difficult waves of bots. Speaking of bots, these bots are:

Black Jacks - These guys are the most common breach bots. Black Jacks usually come in groups, especially in Blitzes. These guys are the larger and more armored and fire-powered brothers of the Slim Bots, and are “the bread and butter” of all bots. They can be grappled by all classes, and have a strong melee attack.

Bouncers - Keep your distance from Bouncers. They’re durable Eliminator Bots that deal extreme melee damage, and can kill injured combatants with ease. Gunners and Tanks can spawn Bouncers in Crossfire battles.

Buzzers - Buzzers are Eliminator Bots, that are fast and hard to shoot. They also can kill a pro with enough damage from its suicidal kamikaze attack. In Crossfires, Assaults can spawn Buzzers. If you’re an Assassin, never slash at a Buzzer, because you’ll only be inflicting the damage on yourself.

Gremlins - Assassins spawn these annoying bots in Crossfires. They are small with little health like an Assassin. Like Assassins, they can cloak from afar and turn visible at close ranges. Shaveice turrets are usually the trick in slowing these guys down.

Gap Shots – Supports have the access to spawning these in Crossfires. They fire projectiles in the air which fall on unaware players, enemy turrets, or other bots.

Slims: These guys are the weakest out of the bot force in health AND damage. An Assault’s grenade launcher can dispatch 2 Slims with ease (at least, for me). A single fully-upgraded sniper rifle shot can dispatch many Slims in 1 hit. Even Assassins can kill Slims with one well-aimed dagger swipe. A Gunner’s Slam can destroy many Slims in 1 hit. A Tank’s Death Blossom can destroy many Slims at close ranges.

Scramblers - These are short-range, mid-speed, and armored bots. They have a skill-draining aura that unwinds pros’ skill meters. It also drains the Grapple skill. Snipers spawn Scramblers in Crossfires.

Jackbots – Jackbots are the largest and most powerful bots out of the force. Jackbots appear in both Blitzes and Crossfires. One Jackbot “ground slam” can daze one pro. Blitz appearances occur every 10 rounds, although there are exceptions.

Also, there are turrets you can use to defend yourself in a bot attack, those turrets are the Lazer Blazers (the cheapest at $25), the Longshots, the Shaveices, and the Rochits.

Lazer Blazer: The cheapest out of the pack at twenty five bucks. However, when even upgraded at the highest level (3), it’s still the most rejected turret ever.

Longshot: What do you think a Longshot is? It shoots from long distances. For instance, it could successfully hit a Black Jack when it’s across the arena. It costs only $75 to build one.

Shaveice: Shaveices are turrets that slow bots down…must I say more? If you got $100 left, you could always cash it in for a Shaveice.

Rochit/Rocket: Rocket turrets are turrets that shoot rockets! They are the most used turrets out of the pack. $200 and you’re ready to Rocket it up!

Here is a picture of all the turrets. Up to down: Laser Blazer, Shaveice, Long Shot, Rocket.

……………………

The Monday Night Combatants are:

Assault - My main combatant. He weighs in at 245 pounds, and is 6’6″, and also wields a grenade launcher that can destroy 2 Slim bots with one grenade. That’s how epic this guy is. His skills are Bomb, Fly, Assault, and Charge. Here are some Assault quotes:

“Ha-ha-ha, I love what you do.” (assault rifle taunt)

“Stand aside; I take large steps.” (grenade launcher taunt)

“Time to unleash the tiger!” (all juiced up)

Assassin: She could be used in Crossfire, but she has the worst health. You could kill her REAL easily. She can literally turn invisible (this being “cloaking”) and sneak up on bots and slash the nuts and bolts out of them. But still, she’s a bad use in combat. Her skills are Assassin, Cloak, Dash, and Smoke Bomb. She’s the most silent combatant, so we won’t be showing her quotes.

Gunner: This Hawaiian combatant wields a giant gun that can rip the nuts and bolts out of any bot, anytime. This beast is literally unstoppable, and he will suck the skill right out of you if you get too close. His skills are Slam, Deploy, Grapple, and Gunner. Here are a few Gunner quotes:

“Oooh, let’s do this tiki style!” (minigun taunt)

“You mess with my team, you gonna be crab fat, bruddah!” (mortar launcher taunt)

Sniper: A requirement for any shooter, this guy can kill enemies far across the map like Long-shot turrets. If someone is able to sneak past his fire, like the Assassin for instance, he’ll kill them with his SMG, equipped for a chance of survival. His skills are Flak, Traps, Grapple, and Sniper. Here are some of his quotes:

“Alright! I got a plan and I need one more. Who wants to take a bullet for me?” (sniper rifle taunt)

“If Speed and Deadly accuracy had children, I’d be their favorite.” (SMG taunt)

“At least someone else out here is doing their job!”

“Juice…is…served!” (all juiced up)

Support: This guy is the Italian backbone to any team. He is useful on both defense and offense. He also has the ability to increase the effectiveness of turrets, heal them with his heal/hurt gun, and hack into them to change the range and rate of fires. He is equipped with a heal/hurt gun that can heal things like teammates and turrets, and hurt things like bots. He can also plant Firebases, that actually are pretty swell multitaskers; they can heal you while holding off a group of Black Jacks, for example. His skills are Firebase, Hack, Air Strike, and Support. Here are some of his quotes:

“The water that supports the jet ski is the same that engulfs it!” (heal/hurt gun taunt)

“Scuza me!” (shotgun taunt)

“I am a-thirsty full of the juices!” (all juiced up)

“I feel like my heart is drinking a million espressos!” (unloading juice)

“How do you say, we gonna make it rain now?”

Tank: This is like the Gunner’s brother in terms of high health, slow speed, and sheer strength. With his jet-gun, acting like a literal flamethrower, he can easily light enemies on fire, even making the most seasoned pros flee for their lives. His skills are Product Grenade, Deploy, Jet Charge, and Tank. His secondary weapon is a railgun, which only has a slow-to-moderate fire rate. Here are his quotes:

“When these fists talk, no one’s deaf.” (jet-gun taunt)

“I LIVE FOR THIS!” (railgun taunt)

And these aren’t really Monday Night Combatants, but staff members:

Pit girl – The pit girl is basically the cheerleader and handywoman of MNC. She can spawn and upgrade turrets on demand. Her role in MNC is almost making her a second announcer, she tells pros when their shields are down. She looks down on the Assassin in spite of cheering other pros on, stating her “uglier than a tree full o’ possums”, but still cheers her on nonetheless.

Bullseye: Bullseye is the MNC mascot. He is usually frolicking about the arena, leaving himself open to pros’ fire.  He literally bleeds coins, juice, bacon, cans of Spunky Cola, etc. Bullseye also makes appearances in Crossfires, especially at the end of matches when a team’s Moneyball explodes, and Bullseye emerges out of it, dancing the celebration dance. He simply cannot be grappled, as he can belly bump you. Bullseye’s head can be unlocked as an avatar award for completing the tutorial.

Mickey Cantor: Mr. Cantor is the announcer of MNC. He seems to hold considerable influence over the MNC fans, reminding them that they must return to their assigned dwelling in before goverment mandated curfews are in effect and informing them of specified locations for fan brawls. He is dubbed “Mr. Controversy”, and has survived 6 assassination attempts, 2/6 successful to become the greatest MNC announcer…

……

Also, during MNC commercial breaks, the announcer will announce an advertisement for some product. Speaking of products…:

Gobi Numb Extra Strength – Why heal it, when you don’t have to feel it?

Steel Peel: No one can resist a Steel Peel man.

GrenAdeiii: An explosion of flavor…in your mouth.

Spunky Cola: Energy. Loaded.

Total Recoil: Knock your enemies into next week – literally.

Ammo Mule: Keep your ammo cool…and your bacon hot. (Official MNC cooler)

FocusAll: FocusAll. Get your edge back faster with FocusAll. Now in sandwich spreadable form.

Sprintz Sports Gum: Now with 10% less liver damage…and the sweet smell of lemons!!!

LaseRazor: Start your day with LaseRazor, the only razor with six quantum plasma lasers for maximum comfort, patented all terrain pivot and new ShaveIce gel pack cartridge and handy applicator for an avalanche of foamy frozen comfort, to help you turn that sandpaper into silk, anytime, anywhere. (Official MNC shaver)

Itchy Finger: Hold it down without a frown.

Dr. Trigger: Whether plasma gun or blunder buss, Dr. Trigger cleans it without a fuss. Dr. Trigger. Get your prescription for a sluggish rate of fire, from Dr. Trigger, today!

Round Hound: Less shooting, more looting. That’s the Round Hound promise.

Achille’s Ocular Implants: Achille’s!!!! If the mind is your enemy’s greatest weapon, all the more reason to shoot them in the head.

Metabolightning: Hey, if the rumors were true, could we sell it?

Grandma Betty’s: The old-fashioned way to aim.

…….

I’m in luck, since Monday Night Combat is only for the 360…make that the Xbox LIVE Arcade. And not to be braggy, but…it’s AWARD TIME! Moderately, this game was well received in its reception. Take a look:

GameRankings - 79.6%

Metacritic - 79/100

Eurogamer - 9/10

Game Informer - 7.75/10

GamePro - 4 stars out of 5

Game Revolution - A-

IGN - 8/10

PALGN - 8/10

And I have some well received reception of my own: I give it 8.8/10. 4 1/2 stars out of 5. An A. 9/10. So basically, I give it 8.8. Different thoughts? KA-POLL!:

Sammwak signing out…somebody chest bump me!

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