Dance Moms’ Third Season is Coming this Summer


Hey guys it’s Sam, and needless to say, no braggadocio intended, I’m a darn good dancer. I’ve mastered Dance Central and beat Dance Central 2, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I can’t do full cartwheels or handsprings or flips (on trampolines, yes), but at least I can somersault without breaking my neck. I’ve seen a lot of dancing shows and said to myself, “I’m not nearly as good as them.” And there are lots of kids out there that can kick my fanny anytime, anywhere in dancing. There was even an entire successful show that chronicled the lives of young aspiring dancers and the dysfunctional relationships of their mothers intertwining with that of the choreographer. There are some kinds of moms out there: Soccer moms, basketball moms, football moms. And then there are Dance Moms.

This show just hit the radar last summer and is probably my most/only-watched Lifetime show to date. Dance Moms is about the Philly-based dance studio Abby Lee Dance Company (ALDC), started by its eponymous founder Abby Lee Miller at the age of fourteen. Now an adult, she is choreographing the dance routines for six (formerly eight) young female dancers: Maddie and Mackenzie Ziegler, Chloe Lukasiak, Brooke and Paige Hyland, and Nia Frazier. (Not counting Payton Ackerman. She was Brooke’s replacement when she left for cheerleading tryouts, and she was kicked off the show upon Brooke’s sudden return in what is now the greatest plot twist in TV history.) Two former dancers were Kendall Vertes and Vivi-Anne Stein before they both transferred to ALDC’s bitter rivaled dance studio, Candy Apples. (Vivi-Anne is actually the daughter of the studio’s founder, the now hated “Crazy Cathy” Stein. The scariest part is that she was a former dance mom herself!) In every episode, Abby, the dancers, and their moms go to dance competitions around the country, from ones in their own backyard to others in even Michigan. Usually, the following things occur:

  • A) Something goes horribly wrong.
  • B) The dance moms get into arguments, as they usually should.
  • C) Everyone shuts their pieholes and the day goes by swimmingly.

At the start of the episode, there is a “Pyramid” that tracks, in Abby’s eyes, how good her dancers are doing. The Pyramid has actually evoked a viewer controversy due to its negative aspects, but Abby herself has admitted that the show’s producers are the makers of the Pyramid and not herself. :shock: The bottom 3 on the Pyramid are the worst of the bunch :cry:, the middle 2 are mediocre :???:, and the top 1 is the best :mrgreen:. Nia, Mackenzie, and Paige were the first at the bottom of the Pyramid, Chloe and Brooke were the first midpoint dancers, and Maddie was the first to top the charts. (Not surprising, considering she is Abby’s most favored dancer. :roll:) You may notice that the most recent episode of Dance Moms was last month (“Abbygeddon”, the season 2 finale), but as a lot of people ensure themselves online, the show has suddenly broken its thin ice with the cancellation bear :twisted: and disappeared. :( Well, those people are wrong, because the third season has only begun. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Next Tuesday, Dance Moms is coming back, and the anticipation has been just as heated as the dance moms’ ever-continuing squabbling. Now, you’re probably wondering, “Why should I care?” Well, Dance Moms has been one of the most successful Lifetime shows on the market, mister!  :x Anyway, you can check out Dance Moms when it returns on June 5 @ 9:00 on Lifetime! (Now make a decision, this or E3? :lol:) Can’t stand the wait? Check out the Dance Moms spinoff @ the Sunshine State, Dance Moms Miami, every Tuesday at 10:00 on Lifetime! :D

Anyway, you might be disappointed by this topic :oops:, but stay tuned next Monday and you’ll probably get something even better! Leave a comment below about what you’d want me to talk about next, and make sure you subscribe, rate, like, reblog, share, and stay tuned! Because do you know what Benjamin Franklin once said? “A penny saved is a penny earned.” 8)

- Sam

p.s. Would You Rather o’ the Week: Would you rather…be the best dancer while ugly, or the worst dancer while beautiful?

p.p.s. Random Video o’ the Week: If you’ve been up to date with the Fine Brothers’ monitoring lately, you’ll hear about a new upcoming React series called Seniors React. There have been React shows starring kids, and teens, and now the sweet elderly. With the name changed to Elders React, watch as they cope and are questioned about the very viral hit that got a Kids React episode over 10 million views: the Nyan Cat. Some are vexed with the video’s repetition while others are indulged by it, but either way the first-ever Elders React episode has come sooner than expected, with 1.4 million views since last Thursday, as well as very positive reception with only 1% of disliking. So this seems like a good video to dedicate the week to.

p.p.s.s. If you’re bad enough to preview the show before it even releases, then go to http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/dance-moms to get to the show’s official site and check out an official sneak peek of a brand-new season three episode! Among this, you can check out other things like the show’s app, the dance moms’ blogs, tours of the dance moms’ homes, never-before-seen photos, the show’s “dance dictionary”, the weekly “Top Mom” competition, and even biographies behind the dance moms and Abby Lee herself! This is something you don’t want to miss, comrade. ;)

Game n Vote – Thrills and Chills


Hey it’s Sam, and when gaming and voting collide, we have another fresh-off-the-grill Game n Vote to kick off the beginning of August! :D Another one from Flapjack (click here if you missed the first), this game takes the water and freezes it into a winter wonderland in today’s harbor adventure, Thrills and Chills.

The title screen has to be the most enticing aspect of the game itself.

If you thought Adventure Bound was a ridiculous concept, you ain’t seen nothing yet! It has to be the easiest, most tedious, and most nettlesome* game I’ve ever played. (*nettlesome = annoying) Do you know how hard it was to compensate to that pestiferous theme song while making this post alone?

THE STORYLINE

Flapjack has found a new winter adventure: Flipping and flying all over Stormalong Harbor!…Yes, that’s it.

THE CONCEPT

You have to make Flapjack do flips on a piece of wood as the snowy, woody ground slopes down, curves up, and makes gaps to trick over…or fall into, which is A) hilarious, and B) what that little kid deserves. If this is the future of Tony Hawk games, then I’ll never buy another Activision product again.

Flapjack flips out!

THE PRESENTATION

The game has an interface with ‘PLAY’ carved into the snow (what.), and some wintery music playing in the background. But all the game breaks down to is: Jump, make a trick. Jump, make another trick. Jump, bail face-first. Rinse and repeat. There’s no collection of levels to progress onto; it’s just one undersized level that you have the power to begin, but you don’t know when it ends. There’s not even any other characters, or better boards. It’s just Flapjack and a lousy piece of wood. Would you want to play that for a half hour?

THE GAMEPLAY

This is another Flapjack game where the mouse is a main component. With your cursor in play, you click to crouch, and release to jump. Airborne, you click to do flips for speed and extra time. There’s pretty much nothing beyond that. So, it’s kind of a letdown. I guess I’ll have to say it now: SON, I AM DISAPPOINT. It’s easier than peeling a banana, but as tedious as the latest Harry Potter game. Maybe even more.

The easiest controls in the world, in a nutshell.

THE PLUSSES

You’re probably wondering, “Sam, why are there even any plusses?” And, my friend, it’s because I SAID SO. (The nicer way to translate it is, “Because there simply are plusses.”)

  • :) At least the controls are easy to learn.
  • :) When you pick up speed, it gets more “thrilling” than usual.
  • :) At least the Flapjack model looks good.

THE MINUSES

Oh, here we go…

  • :( The game has the most annoying theme song ever. (Adventure Bound, you’ve been dethroned.) And when it ends, it loops right back into the beginning.
  • :( You’re more likely to bail than to boost, and did I mention the time spent bailing clocks in at 3 SECONDS?!?!
  • :( You don’t know when the level will end. You could be preparing for an epic trick, but then Flapjack bails off board himself and begins dancing, which marks the end of the thrills and chills.
  • :( Did I mention that you can’t play again? No, literally. You try to hit ‘PLAY AGAIN’, and the game is unresponsive. Ignorant.
  • :( You’re doomed for a face full of snow when you wind back on the tip of your board? >:( It’s like doing a manual, and those always work!!!
  • :( No voice acting. None at all. No “whees”, no hysterical laughter, no “oofs” in mid-bail? That’s another slab of perfectly good character stripped away.
  • :( The worst sound effects ever in a game. When you bail, it sounds like a car horn mixed with a swung golf club.
  • :( The most tedious and repetitive Flapjack game I’ve ever played. (Adventure Bound, you just got dethroned again!)

You call this rewarding? I call it punishment.

THE VERDICT

For a frosty frolic, Thrills and Chills is not your ideal game with tedious gameplay, an annoying theme song, and bad sound effects. But for all who are desperate for something wintery, you could give it a try…but don’t come to me looking all disappointed and say, “Sam told me to.” This game gets a “fair” 6.0 out of 10. Or, as IGN would do it…

Awesome? I know, I know. If you enjoy this post, and you are a WordPress blogger, than please like me, and to any of you out there who don’t even know what WordPress is, please subscribe to me. And thus concludes another Game n Vote! Check back for more in the weeks to come, and remember: What you think isn’t really is even though it seems it isn’t but it really is what it is. Isn’t it?

- Sam

 

Game n Vote – Adventure Bound


Hey guys it’s Sam, and it’s been long since we’ve had a personal time to game and vote. Well, here we are, and this game is yet again, from Cartoon Network. But this one’s not from Adventure Time; it’s from Flapjack. I know that show hasn’t been around since the late summer of 2010, where it was cancelled but ended. This game is an adventure at sea, and it’s real adventure bound…that’s why it’s called Adventure Bound.

Flapjack scores some precious loot in-game.

It’s a good thing that the games of forgotten Cartoon Network shows are still around, because I’d never find this game without them. And for a sailor’s venturing, it’s actually pretty fun. The concept may be freaking ridiculous, but at least there are some solid sound effects to captivate those moments.

THE STORYLINE

It’s actually just that Flapjack and K’nuckles want to find treasure in the sky, only what the bravest, most adventurous adventurers would do. No, seriously that’s what Captain K said himself.

K'nuckles explains the storyline.

THE CONCEPT

This is the concept which I said was “freaking ridiculous”: You control Bubbie the whale (with Flapjack and Captain inside), and click to send one adventurer in the sky through her spout, and it’s your job to catch them before they bounce into the sea. And don’t forget them precious chains/combos. Pretty ludicrous, huh?

THE PRESENTATION

Adventure Bound has a sleek user interface with that sailor feel, such as seaside sounds of anchors and birds, but the noise is too much when you just want to hit play. However, the venturing gets old, and there’s little variation from one level to the next. And it actually takes more time than expected to recover a player overboard.

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay is so easy, a caveman could…play it. (Geico sue deflect!) It just consists of moving your mouse to control Bubbie, and click to send a player into the air. A little too easy, but I have to say, the gameplay does come out clean. It has good interest rate attractions, the situations remind you of the show, and it’s actually easier than you think.

THE PLUSSES

  • :) The interface is well-crafted.
  • :) The gameplay is easy to learn for beginners.
  • :) Good environments to fess up for corked visuals.
  • :) Controls have great, if not perfect, outcomes.
  • :) Yes, there are badges, which equal goals to strive for.

THE MINUSES

But here’s the thing…

  •  :( There’s no pausing, let alone getting out. Is it Super Smash Flash 2 again?
  • :( The main levels are awfully easy, even at level 5 or higher. And the amount of coins there is in environments like bubbles and seagulls might be near to impossible to catch without losing a matey.

IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!

  • :( No one talks. No one at all (excluding the horrific voice acting). No hysterical laughter, no “Whees”, not even any startled cries falling overboard?
  • :( You send out adventurers at random. You don’t know what to expect. It’s not like Tetris, where you can know what block is next, and hold it or anything.
  • :( At the bottom right, you’ll see your progress bar. (That’s what I call it.) It has Bubbie on it (you), and it swims as you swim to track your progress. However, it can swim off the bar and off screen….
  • :( Speaking of the bonus game, it starts out easy, but it gets punishingly hard. You have to click faster than a running gazelle. That’s why the “Get x8 in the Bonus Game” is impossible to get.
  • :( The voice acting is abominable. Flapjack and K’nuckles alike both sound like screaming men.
  • :( Not a completely reasonable storyline.
  • :( Awfully repetitive.
  • :( The most annoying game music I’ve ever heard, even if it does fit the situation.
  • :( During the main level, if you see the first photo I uploaded, Flapjack looks awfully sketchy. And then it always pretends like nothing happened with…

Even if you fall overboard five times, it's still the best adventure ever.

The whole bonus game, in one picture.

THE VERDICT

Adventure Bound isn’t the best Flapjack game out there, as it gets quite old, and quite tedious, quite fast, but for beginning Flapjack gamers, with its enticing controls and down-to-earth environments, what more could you ask for? My final score is a “good” 7.5 out of 10. Or, as IGN would do it..

Pretty impressive, huh? Anyways, you can check out Adventure Bound yourself by following the rainbow…just kidding, just follow this link. Happy spouting!

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Back after a long day at sea? Time to vote!

Check back for more rip-snooting good times with the ultimate gaming-and-voting fusion! This is Sammwak, and remember: Don’t do drugs, sleep with a turtle, dance with a grasshopper, and play with an ant.

- Sam

PWN S0M3 N00B$!: Kinect Adventures


Hey guys it’s Sam, and sorry about the long hiatus. Luckily, I have a new treat within a new segment for video games, called Pwn Some Noobs (or, for stylization, PWN SOM3 N00B$!), as a substitute for Gamecritic. You know there are a lot of Game Critics around Google? Today, we’ll take a deep look at one game that you can’t not know. It was the first game for the Xbox 360′s Kinect, back in November 2010. Unveiled at the 2010 E3,  today’s token is the adventurous Kinect Adventures. It’s not the Kinect’s instant killer app, but is it worth the hassle? Let’s find out.

Revving it up in Rallyball!

Kinect Adventures was the Microsoft Studios-Good Science team’s treat for a good kickoff for a new contraption. It was actually featured with every Kinect bought, a “pack-in game”, you might call it. There’s only five mini games, but lots of modes to choose from. Players could take it easy with Free Play, or they could fight for rewards in Adventure Mode, winning achievements and completing journeys. I didn’t had much interest of this game at first, but then I jumped into Adventure Mode. My eyes were opened, and it is now one of my most-played X360 games. The environments are vivid and breathtaking, the sensor does a jolly good job of motion tracking, and the rewards are definitely enough bangs for your buck. Oh, and don’t forget that sleek interface. And don’t get me wrong, it got fairly positive critical feedback. There’s even a solid storyline to keep everything afloat. And it sold a mind-blowing 10 million copies with the Kinect, which ranks as the second-highest sale, behind Call of Duty: Black Ops. Here are the parts where it got a little bumpy.

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- Even at Advanced, excluding time challenges, Adventure Mode is super easy. Not only does it hand successes to you like it’s nobody’s business, but you also have lots of living statues to record.

- Gaming is repetitive with only five mini games: River Rush, where you use your motion to steer down river rapids, Reflex Ridge, where you jump, duck, and dodge your way through an obstacle course, Space Pop, where you use flight and hovering to pop bubbles, 20,000 Leaks, where you use your body to fix leaks started by fish, and Rallyball, where you scramble about sending balls flying into blocks and targets.. Even if they take place at different destinations, it’s still the same thing over and over again.

- Show Off & Share photos bear cheesy, embarrassing captions, like “Superhero Moment”, “Oo! Oo! Call On Me!”, and “Surf the Floor”.

-  Space Pop is punishingly hard if you don’t read the directions. Take it from me, as I was absolutely clueless upon what to do. Despite the fact that I ended up collecting 196 pins…go figure.

- The game has an annoying way of telling you you’re in the wrong place. In the top left corner, a huge pop-up will pop up and indicate where you are in your space! Not only is that annoying, but it’s super annoying!

- Games get real old, real fast. Even critics will tell you the exact same thing.

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CRITICS CALL

The game walked away with lots of sixes and sevens, and churning out only one eight. GameSpot gave the game a 7.0, saying: “This motion-based minigame collection is inconsistent, but it gives you a good excuse to start leaping and scrambling around with your new Kinect.” The game got a critic score of 6.6, while users bumped up their own score to a 7.3. Metacritic coughed up a 61 out of 100 for Kinect Adventures, and 1UP.com with a B at 80/100. G4′s X-Play gave the game 4 out of 5 stars overall.

FINALE

Kinect Adventures rallies up a 7 out of 10, a 7.0 out of 10, and a 72 out of 100. If you get the Kinect, please get some other game, because this game gets old and won’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours. Capiche? Oh, and you know what else doesn’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours? Today’s question, which comes from a user named FickDBanana…Fick again? Anyways, he said: “If you could start your own cereal business, what would you name your first cereal?” You heard the bananabrain! What would you name your own cereal?…This should be good. Leave your creative answers in my comment section, or via email.

This is Sam on Sammwak, and see you next Friday where we get to, again, PWN SOM3 N00B$!

Yours truly,

Sam

A THURSDAY TRIPLE YOUTUBE TREASURY


Hey it’s Sam, and here’s another YouTube treasure I dug up, mateys! Today’s treasure is actually not just from one user…it’s from three! I just felt like it, because today is Thursday. A triple Thursday of treasures. These YouTube stars are famous online and off, and are actually huge icons. The first YouTube star is the king of VFX (video effects, for all of you who don’t do abbreviations) mastery, Frederick “Freddie” Wong, or as his username goes by, freddiew. He has over 30 million channel views, and over one million subscribers.

The first video is a real-life tribute to an infinitely looping gif which you can find here. It’s called “Big Blue Ball Machine”, and currently stands with over one million views since July 16.

The next one is called “Arcade Dominator”, where Wong heads to the arcade and dominates all, from air hockey to a perfect skeeball game to a flawless Guitar Hero shredding session. This video has over 5 million views since the 4th of…June. Pwned.

This final one is called “Real Life Mario Kart”, bringing back Mario Kart 64 in 2011. This video has over 11 million views since February 17…my birthday! :D

Freddie has a bigger-than-life backstory behind him. He competed in the 2007 World Series of Video Games, walking away with first prize for Guitar Hero 2. (if you saw Arcade Dominator, you know he rules at GH.) He performed at YouTube Live in 2008, and is prone for guest stars in his videos, such as Ray William Johnson in “Troll Massacre”, and William and Dylan from KIDS REACT in “Jedi A-Holes Strike Back”. Onto the next star!

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If you’re Brazilian, you can’t say you don’t know Joe Penna, or MysteryGuitarMan. He makes music out of stuff you wouldn’t expect to be musical, such as with balloons in “Pop”, with buildings in “Jumbo”, and with one thousand guitars in “1000 Guitars”. He has over 35 million channel views, and has surpassed the one-million-subscriber mark.

This first one is called “Bubble Rap”, consisting of lots of bubble wrap, a guitar, and DeStorm as the rapper. Over a million views since May 14, 2011.

The next one is “Pop”, which I told you is consisted of lots of balloons, and a piano. Almost at 3.5 million views since May 11, 2010.

The final one is “Happy Mouth”, featuring Joe singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” with the sounds conducted by his mouth, like a bass, an angelic choir, and hi-hats.

Joe has not only been in a McDonald’s Coke commercial, but he ranks as the ninth-most subscribed YouTuber to date, dethroning the Annoying Orange but being dethroned by Shane Dawson’s second channel. Now, our third and final star!

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Epic Meal Time is from Canada, which is no surprise why they take foods to the total extreme. If you’re ever called down to lunch and you aren’t hungry, watch some Epic Meal Time and you’ll be hungrier than a starving Sim. Almost 25 million channel views and over a million subscribers as we speak. The eighth-most viewed in Canada, and the most gnarliest foods since Man vs Food…maybe even gnarlier.

The first one cooks up a meatball deathstar, a whole bunch of cooked pasta stuffed inside a meatball covered with cheese…your mouth started watering, right? If you ain’t down with meatballs, and you ain’t down with almost 3.5 million views (since December 14, 2010), you ain’t down to no nothing!

Next, sushi and fast food finally fuse together to create the ultimate “fast food sushi”. Since December 7, it has over 5 million views. おいしい! That’s Japanese for “delicious”!

The final video is just salad. Without all the healthy stuff. Take your greens, and turn them into teins…proteins! That’s right, we got a meat salad with flank steak lettuce, spiced-up pepperoni carrots, meatball radishes, cucumber sausages, and Epic Meal Time ain’t epic without bits…beer bacon bits!

And if you think this is a carnivore’s dream come true, it doesn’t stop there. They’re live at Comic Con, and you go to Netflix.com/bacon, and watch some Kevin Bacon! Am I right, Internet?

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That marks the end of another video effective, musical, and tasty YouTube treasure. From now on, check back every other Friday (which means a treasure one Friday, a regular post the next, and then another treasure the next) for more YouTube treasures, mateys!

- Sam

p.s. Have I told you about my brother’s site? Probably not. It’s based on ways you can be successful in everyday life. From social medial abuse to the perfect relationship to letting go of a loved one, my brother Chris Mwakasisi could probably hook you up with some gnarly innovation.

YouTube Treasures: THE ULTIMATE TEST!


Hey guys it’s Sam, sorry for the hiatus, I have been whipping up some new videos with my webcam! :D Anyways, I’m back with another YouTube Treasure (sorry if they’re getting old). I know. We’ve been having a YouTube fest. Emma Watson socking an interviewer, a finger frenzy, all the videos I included in my 4th of July celebratory post. I guess, now it’s more LOL! ;) Now, this treasure is a test. An ultimate test…no, the ultimate test. The hardest challenge you’ll ever take. Harder than the Moron Test, even. Can you sit through these videos without laughing your head off? If you can, you are not only titled “stone hearted”, but you get two legendary Sammwak collectibles: an actual stone heart, and the pork pie hat of Buster Keaton, who in the 1900′s, was known as the “Great Stone Face”!

The videos, in their order, were a 4-second animation of the Rage Guy (published by sr50cent). For Rage fans, this video is hilarious, so why did it get only 130,000 views (since Sep 2010)?! It’s the best 4 seconds of your life; you just don’t know it yet. Sometime in the middle of the night you’ll wake up screaming, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” I just know you will.

The next one was a video from August 2009, with publisher bramslaets daring the viewer to watch it without laughing. (It’s really called, “try to watch this without laughing”. It had 2 years to become the next Nyan Cat, but it only racked up half a million views! How can you not enjoy a prancing rainbow Bunchie? When I first saw this, I was ROFLMFAO. Even Fick said, “Thanks to this video, I dream happy dreams of me dancing with Bunchies on a rainbow, thanks to this video” on Facebrook the other day.

The next one was a scene from the timeless comedy Napoleon Dynamite, when he dances his illegal government ninja butt off! There’s actually an awful lot of copies of the scene, let alone them being remade (one from mauricio890 getting over 2 million views!), but the real one from markthehat66 scored over half a million views since December 2010, which is pretty strong for a 6-month duration of time to get viral. (770,000 to be exact) And according to the video’s page on YouTube, it said that the video was seen on the channel The Stranger, Seattle’s Only Newspaper. Now that would be an article I’d tune into.

A “fans-have-been-waiting-for-this-so-long” video of Joe Jonas dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” was next, racking up over 25 million views since June 2009 (a 2 week countdown to the release of their album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times) coincidentally from JonasBrothersMusic. For 2 years for viral possibilities, that has to be one of the biggest online breakthroughs I’ve seen! (Shane Dawson even reacted to it!) It’s like “Bieber After the Dentist”—it had only one viral-possibility year, and look how well it did! 32 million views well!

The penultimate video, an Autotuned remix of CopperCab’s timeless “GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!!” video, racked up 4 million views since February 2010 (coincidentally my birth month!) thanks to publisher placeboing. This has quickly become my most favorable Autotune remix ever (the grooviest, funniest, and second-shortest too)! And they obviously have to allow downloadable MP3 at Mediafire.com! But this will probably teach you a good message. You’ll wake up at midnight, saying, “Oh, gingers DO have souls!”

The final video, and the oldest, coolest, and EPIC WIN-est, dates all the way back to November 2005 from superbkid! It’s apparently a message, at a theater, before beginning 2005′s Chicken Little (conveniently, released in November!), telling the audience to turn off their phones in the most innovative way possible…Chicken Little dancing his tail feather off to O-Zone’s “Numa Numa”! Then, obviously, his phone rings halfway through the dance which leads him to get smushed. That’s 6 years ago, and it racked up a mind blowing 15 million views!…which is what I expected for a video like this. :D :D :D

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So, tell me guys: when did you laugh? (Leave a comment telling me when!) Don’t fake it. I know you cracked up one way or another. If you didn’t…slap yourself upside the head and get a sense of humor, buster! Just kidding…but seriously. If you didn’t crack a smile through the whole show…then congratulations! You have earned this achievement!…

Stone Hearted – Think you got what it takes to complete the ultimate test? Sit through the videos without cracking a smile! (50 BP)

…and these dandy collectible, again, a stone heart… …and the pork pie hat of the Great Stone Face himself, Buster Keaton! Absolutely priceless upon your success!

Check back for more tests, more treasures, and more time with me here at Sammwak!

- Sam

p.s. I’m going to be learning at VBS (Vacation Bible School) this coming week starting tomorrow (which means sleeping 9:00 pm-early >:-o), and this year’s theme is Operation Space! (Last year was The Egypt File, and the year before that was Gadget’s Garage, and so on.) So, first we contacted with God through a teen genius and his robot, then we contacted him in an Egyptian pyramid style, and now we contact with him in an intergalactic style? St. Mike just isn’t running out of ideas. ;)

YouTube Treasures: SOCK-IT-TO-EM MUGGLE


Hey, it’s Sam, and we’ve dug up another YouTube treasure, mateys! Fans of Harry Potter? This treasure will leave you stupefied for more! Okay, so Hermione–sorry, Emma Watson–is getting interviewed for Prisoner of Azkaban. The interviewer mentions how Hermione “socked it to” Draco in the movie, and a good “sock” it was. And out of nowhere, he says that he wants Emma to punch him. I’m not lying. He really said it. You can even check the video if you want to. I don’t know how many 5-Hour Energies he had to drink to work up the nerve to say that. And amidst his begging, Emma really sucker punches him hard. Even costing him a couple teeth. If the tooth fairy comes tonight, that guy will be a thousandaire tomorrow morning. :D

I mean seriously, when Muggles get mad, they get mad! Now, this video got almost 4.5 million views since its release back in January 2006 by christmassacre, so we’re all not really surprised how it went viral. Over 5,000 people liked this video, but almost 500 dislikes grew. Why are there any dislikes? Maybe, besides those overprotective parents. And again, the video isn’t even that long, it’s only almost a minute long. And to tie in, I’ll show you the other video of Hermione sucker punching Draco.

Now this video is almost at 50,000 views, so it’s not strongly viral otherwise. Even if it was released last year in April. When Sammwak basically started. But the surprising note of over 100 likes and absolutely no dislikes is a shocker of awesomeness. Good job, Pokehero2009. This mostly got comments about how Hermione did the sock-it-to-em on Draco, and how he deserved it, and how people kept pressing the seven button…

So this is an important life lesson: never mess with a Muggle, let alone Hermione. :( I even got this pic sent by her!

So, remember that, and I’ll see you when we dig up our next YouTube treasure! ;)

Later, Sam

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY FROM SAMMWAK!


Hey guys it’s Sam. And it’s that time of year again. The year reminiscing the day when the thirteen colonies declared independence. The day of our country, when we all share a hotdog under the fireworks, go on a celebratory trip, have a special breakfast–who am I kidding, it’s Independence Day, the 4th of July!

See, these guys have hearts. And to celebrate this celebratory day, I’m giving you a Sammwak collectible to save and boast about to your friends: a hotdog from the bottom of my heart (it’s digitally delicious)!This hotdog is representative of this awesome day, something you’d share under the fireworks, of course! To celebrate, people almost blow themselves up with awesome fireworks shows, nom every nom they can nom at picnics, ROFL as you dunk a victim at a fair, meet long-lost cousins at a family reunion, the list goes on. This federal holiday has ranked as the national day of the U.S. (take that, Flag Day) And check out some cool feats from this day in history!

1810 – The French occupy Amsterdam.

1959 – With the declaring of Alaska as the forty-ninth state earlier in the year, the 49-star U.S. flag debuts in Philadelphia.

1960 – From the post-4th of July declaration of Hawaii as the fiftieth state, our 50-star U.S. flag debuts in Philadelphia almost 10 1/2 months afterward.

1987 – In France, former Gestapo chief Klaus Barbie (funniest last name ever (^o^) is convicted of crimes against humanity and is sentenced to life in prison. :( Sad punishment for the funny-last-name man…

1997 – NASA’s Pathfinder space probe lands on Mars’s surface.

1997 (this one might not the 4th of July, but hey–it’s a 4th) – Jeanne Calment from France dies in August at 122 years and 164 days old, ranking as the oldest supercentenarian to live. Now, that’s an old grandma!

1961 – Walt Disney is one of the two major speakers in the Rebuild Hills at Denmark.

1968 – Jack Frost is born and has a menacing duel against Santa Claus–JK, he founds a heavy metal band called Seven Witches and also becomes a part of the Bronx Casket Company. Sorry, but if you wanna see duels, go watch The Santa Clause 3.

2009 – The Statue of Liberty’s crown is reopened to the public after eight years due to security reasons!! :D

So this world has a lot more behind it than you thought. And check out this cool video from FlippyCat building and collapsing an American flag out of what seems to be dominoes?

I guess this guy lives for dominoes, he got this video up to almost 1 million views since July 2009. I know, another big surprise. But for more mind-blowing domino awesomeness, FlippyCat is definitely your man. And just before the launch of his blog (sorry for the hiatus of writer’s block), Fick sent out this message on Facebrook, a site for everyone at his town in Brookfield Grove: “Happy birthday, America. What kind of cake will you eat today? My guess is that it’ll be revolutionary!” Oh, Fick. ;)

So you heard it from Sammwak: happy 4th of July to all, and to all a revolutionary week! :D

- Sam

p.s. Want another cool FlippyCat domino video? Furious feathers will fly in FlippyCat’s real-life Angry Birds walkthrough! (It’s almost at half a million views as we speak, with over 4,000 likes and 40 dislikes.)

More? This video has passed the one-million-view milestone, with over 5,000 likes and 100 dislikes. :/ Have you done your searching on Google Chrome….inos?

Like the videos? Like the post! And if you can, subscribe, rate, comment, and favorite FlippyCat for more crazy domino videos!

YouTube Treasures: AMERICA’S GOT FINGERS!


Hey guys it’s Sam, and it’s been some time since we dug up our last YouTube treasure (click here if you don’t remember!) back ten days ago. Well, now, since I’ve found a couple especially cool videos, I’ve decided that I’d decided to have them next up on the show! First up is from a YouTuber named bgirldeedee. I saw this video last night, and I’ve been hooked ever since. You know your fingers. You know your friends’ fingers. You can do shadow puppetry with your fingers. You can perform sign language with your fingers. But did you know  you can breakdance with your fingers? No, seriously, I can prove it!

Now this video reached only 2.5 million views since its launch in May 2010 with over 10,000 likes and almost 1,000 dislikes. Whether it was shot in a Barbie doll house or not, how can you not appreciate that David sculpture? I mean, how can you get a tiny sculpture like that? Anyways, it got comments like “I own those shoes full sized XD”, “You should be a hand model Lol”, and “I wanna see a finger JabbaWockeez crew one day”. But from her first video of finger breakdancing in 2005, she’s made so much more from there. Here are some of my favorites!

“Fingers Soccer” – Only at half a thousand views since June 21. 65 likes and just 7 dislikes.

“Israeli Fingers” – Only at half a million views since September 2008. Almost 1.5 thousand likes, and almost 500 dislikes.

“Sony Ericsson Xperia™ X10 mini TV Commercial” – Only at 390,000 views. Almost 400 likes, and 16 dislikes.

If you like these videos, not only should you subscribe,  but you should like her channel for more finger footwork! ;)

——————–

Want more finger talent? Check out these videos from pecari1988! He doesn’t have fingers that can breakdance, but they have their own cool tricks. His fingers have marker or pen or whatnot drawn all over them, actually having the lyrics to Daft Punk songs written in. And they show you the lyrics to some of their most repetitive songs by…oh, just watch. (But I can tell you that it probably took lots of hand washing…unless they used a Sharpie permanent, of course.)

Now, this video only passed the 2.5 million-view marker, with over 10,000 likes and 1.5 thousand dislikes since August 2007. It got some criticism for putting up the middle finger to the audience to go with the lyrics “make it”, which some commenters captured, and got the video flagged as spam, unfortunately, by YouTuber AlicexJuliusxx :( Here are some of the comments it got:

“chuck norris can do that with one hand” – KiiDHYpez1

“no … chuck norris can do that with one finger!” – KiiDHYpez1

“Chuck Norris does this 10x speed while sleeping” – logifb1

“what an amazin hand-eye coordination !!!RESPECT!!!” – Kowalski622

“FREAKIN SWEET!! why are there ANy dislikes??” – fantasticfish96

And just at the end of the month (the above video having been released on the 6th), they released another Daft Hands video with the song “Technologic”. It’s almost at 10 million views to date, with 26 thousand likes, and 3,330 dislikes. Wow. We are a very disliking people. :(

And then, obviously, people have made their own “tributes” to Daft Hands, even changing it up to “Kanye Hands”. Wow. And you can’t sue YouTubers for copyright infringement. :(

Anyway, time’s ticking on my watch, so I better finish up! Goodbye from Sammwak, and I have a very important thing to tell you…I probably won’t be releasing many posts tomorrow or the days around it since I’ll be off to Atlanta for the 4th of July! :( :D Yeah, I know, complain all you want, but as soon as I get back, I’ll whip up a batch of makeup posts, 87% guaranteed!

- Sam

p.s. What are you gonna be doing on the 4th? ;)

July: The Month of HP7 Part 2


Hey guys, it’s Sam again. Yes, it is the start of July today, a very patriotic month on the face of the country! And not only is July the month of America and independence, it’s also the month of everything Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Everyone’s waiting for the big finale of the worldwide phenomenon, where it all ends. Not only is the epic fantasy itself releasing on July 15…

But its accompanying video game (again, by EA) and soundtrack (again, composed by the French film composer Alexandre Desplat) are releasing the same month…surprisingly, the same day on July 12, just three days before the big opening. The game has received a rating of E10+ for fantasy violence, or, if you’re talking about the Nintendo DS version, mild fantasy violence.

Harry Potter and the Death…eh, you can read, you know what’s it called. This game continues Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s search to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes that gave Lord Voldemort immortality, and it all leads up to Harry and Voldemort’s final battle, sort of like the final Transformers. Still a third-person action adventure, this game isn’t entirely just a carbon copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, to address complaints from Part 1. The game will use cut-scenes to progress linearly, but without side missions like Part 1. This game’s combat involves button pressing which casts spells as attacks. Three face buttons, usually with either a symbol or a letter, and the second spell of a button can be activated if pressed twice. And if you’ve seen past movies, you’ve heard of Apparition. As a use of defense teleporting in and out of battle, Apparating is now a part of Part 2. With an over-the-shoulder view, you can control several characters including Harry, Ron, Hermione, Professor McGonagall, Neville, Ginny, and more.

HP7 Part 2 (that felt a lot better :D), the soundtrack to the movie of the same name, is composed, as I said, by the returning Alexandre Desplat (responsible for music for movies like Fantastic Mr. Fox, Twilight: New Moon, and The King’s Speech). The release date was announced by Amazon on 7/12/2011. Speaking of Amazon, they’re allowing pre-orders of the soundtrack, priced at just $12! ;) Warner Bros.’s website confirmed Alexandre’s return to compose Part 2. Desplat himself said scoring was a “great challenge” and that he has “a lot of expectations to fulfill” ahead of him. The soundtrack composes of twenty-five songs, from “Lily’s Theme” to “A New Beginning”. The longest song is “Severus and Lily” at 6 minutes. “The Tunnel”, at almost 1:10, ranks as the shortest.

So, do you know what you’re going to be casting…er, craving…this July? :D ;)

Later, from Sammwak. And now, I shall Apparate away! d(^_^)b