Hey guys it’s Sam, and this is Press Start, the only gaming blog segment where you get to hear news and reviews about games on the mainstream. Okay, that was a cocky intro, but still. Do you all remember 1st Person from last April? Yeah, this is 1st Person 2.0 with gaming news. You’re welcome. Anyway, let’s get into the action!
This was easily one of the most anticipated games of the year, as it was Naughty Dog’s big break to make a hit as big as (or even bigger than) Uncharted 3, which was one of 2011′s most critically acclaimed titles. The setup was simple: remember that fungal infection from Planet Earth that could turn ants into zombies? Well, what if that infection spread onto humans? That creates the apocalyptic scene of The Last of Us, which takes place twenty years after the fungal outbreak. The survivors of the apocalypse are in quarantined zones under the heel of the military. Within one of these zones is a black marketeer named Joel, who goes through an event that makes him vow to get a young teenager named Ellie to a resistance group called the Fireflies. They begin to trek through the fallen country while also avoiding the spreading disease and scavengers hungry for prey. It doesn’t stop there–the military won’t stop until they find and bring back Ellie.
The game was indeed a major success receiving universal acclaim, winning 25 awards after E3 ’12, a notable margin of them praising the game as the best title of the show and the most anticipated game of the show. It also received various perfect scores of 5 or 10:
A British film magazine called Empire gave the game a perfect 5 score, lauding it as “an easy contender for the best game of this console generation”, “gaming’s Citizen Kane moment”, and “a masterpiece that will be looked back upon favorably for decades”.
The official PlayStation mag also gave the game a perfect 10 score, calling it “a work of art” and “an emotionally draining, constantly compelling end of days adventure”.
IGN also gave the game a solid 10, praising it as “a masterpiece, PlayStation 3′s best exclusive and an absolute must-play.”
Destructoid also gave the game a 10 saying, “There is more to The Last of Us than just combat and ‘emotional’ story tropes… The Last of Us had achieved everything it needed to achieve in order to provide me with everything [Jim Sterling] wanted.”
It received a perfect five stars from Giant Bomb, Games Radar, and Joystiq.
Eurogamer, VideoGamer.com, Edge, and Computer & Video Games gave the game a clean 10.
So, I guess all you post-apocalyptic gamers out there need to play this game! You guys are really missing out!
Animal Crossing was released in Japan during spring 2001 as one of the Nintendo 64′s final titles, but eventually was re-released in other countries during fall 2002 for the Nintendo GameCube. The game’s setup was simple: you move into a village full of talking animals, you can interact with them (and other players via memory card), and the console’s internal clock and calendar allowed real-time gameplay complete with changing seasons and holidays. It was more recognizable on the latter console as one of the best financial and critical successes the console ever had, and its fame increased as Wild World became a DS hit, and City Folk became a Wii bestseller despite a mixed critical say. Five years later, Animal Crossing: New Leafreleased with tons of new changes. You lived in a tent rather than a house that could be expanded and upgraded, customization now allows pant modification, and you can swim in the lake at the village waterfront. Oh, and you’re also the mayor. Oh, and now there are hamsters and deer.
The game became a critical success and is now the series’ highest-rated game, with a Metacritic score of 88 and a GameRankings score of 86.96%. Critics were pleased with New Leaf‘s visuals as well as proper use of the 3DS’ stereoscopic effects (oh, did I forget to say that it was a 3DS exclusive?). The game’s environment, objects, and content were noted as a major step up from City Folk. The Japanese version of the game got a near-perfect score of 39 from Famitsu magazine, but won their Platinum Award. New Leaf became the first 3DS game to pass two million sold units in under two months (in Japan), and the game has sold nearly four million copies so far, making it a great financial success. So I guess people who have been faithful to the series (or at least have a 3DS) should get this one.
71 years into the future, Paris has become Neo-Paris and the Memorize corporation has made a new brain implant called the Sensation Engine that allows 99% of the population to upload and share their memories on the net. It’s like YouTube, but strictly for memories. They can also remove unhappy or unpleasant memories too, which is pretty awesome. However, what’s not as awesome is the SensEn gives Memorize lots of surveillance-like control over Neo-Paris, and a rebellion is rising. This rebellion comes in the form of “Errorists”, rebels who strive for nothing but to see Memorize destroyed and defeated. The invention of Memorize’s SensEn has created Leapers, people who have absorbed memories like drugs to the point where their SensEn has degraded and they mutate into subhuman beings that live in the sewers! In Remember Me, you play as an Errorist named Nilin who is one of the most crucial components of the rebellion. Why, you don’t know…yet. And neither does she, considering she’s having her memory wiped by Memorize. Nilin must free her fellow Neo-Parisians from tyrannical technology while piecing together her lost past.
Remember Me slipped by with a mixed to positive say from critics. IGN’s Daniel Krupa enjoyed the game’s promise, setting, story, and memory manipulation, but was disappointed by its unappealing combat, feeble platforming, and repetitive gameplay. Tom Bramwell from Eurogamer had almost the same problems with the game but noted a frail script. Kevin VanOrd from GameSpot enjoyed Nilin as a protagonist as well as the Memory Remixes, but noted flaws in the story, world design, and camera. GameTrailer’s Justin Speer praised the game’s general scope, but said it was “underdeveloped and underutilized”. GamesRadar’s Ryan Taljonick also liked the Memory Remixes and customizable combos, but disliked the game’s linearity. Official PlayStation Magazine didn’t have much different to say. So, you may or may not enjoy Remember Me, but it might leave a lasting memory! Get it? Cuz the game’s about mem–man, you guys never appreciate my gaming humor!
500 gigabytes of storage? 7.1 surround sound? More entertainment oriented? We all have to agree that last month’s revealing of the Xbox One was decently impressive. It seemed like it would expand upon the 360 like the 360 expanded upon the original Xbox. But several weeks later, the console’s abrasive side began to kick in:
No backward compatibility (you can’t play any 360 games on it)
The new Kinect is downright creepy (always watching, always listening)
The new Kinect is a requirement to use the console (it must be on and connected nonstop)
The console will use its region-locking skills to lock down games “geographically” (so a person across the globe can’t play some good ole Modern Warfare cuz it’s blocked in their country, kinda like a game filter)
The Xbox One won’t allow game-loaning like a normal console (you either need to sign in under your buddy’s account or pay for the game full retail price)
You’re gonna need an Internet connection (even to play single-player games offline!)
The console seems to focus more on entertainment than actual games (then why does it have the honor of being a console?!)
I bet a year from now when the PS4 wins the eighth generation of video games, Microsoft will be scratching its head asking itself, “Where did we go wrong?” Anyway, the One’s list of upcoming titles seems to be a bit more promising than the One itself, so let’s take a look at some titles:
Assassin’s Creed IV: BlackFlag: Play as Connor Kenway’s grandpa Edward and embark on a swashbuckling pirate adventure! (10/29/13)
Battlefield 4: Blood will splatter, bullets will fire, and guards will be let down in the gruesome adventures of US Special Forces squad member Recker. (10/29/13)
Call of Duty: Ghosts: Because Modern Warfare 4 wasn’t good enough, this game stars a band of elite soldiers called “Ghosts” that wage a covert war after a global power balance apocalypse. (11/5/13)
Destiny: After their big departure from Microsoft in 2010, Bungie teams up with Activision to create a post-apocalyptic world where you (among the final defenders of the human race) must fight aliens to prevent the obliteration of mankind. (Q3 or Q4 2013)
Fantasia Music Evolved: In this interactive follow-up to Fantasia and Fantasia 2000, you are the apprentice of sorcerer Yen Sid and you must generate life in desolate levels by moving rhythmically to popular licensed songs from Fun., Bruno Mars, Queen, and more. (2014)
FIFA 14: In this year’s FIFA instalment, new features have been added from “real ball physics” to “teammate intelligence” that might improve upon FIFA 13‘s skill games, and there’s a new global scouting network and modifications with career mode. (9/24/13)
Need for Speed Rivals: In this gas-burning romp you’re either a racer or a cop, and it has the aesthetics of NFS Underground plus the features of Hot Pursuit and Most Wanted. (11/19/13 for PS3 & X360; PS4 & XOne TBA)
Watch Dogs: This Ubisoft action-adventure/stealth game lets you play as an elite hacker that can either get and control info or destroy it wholly. You can hack phones to retrieve bank data, you can even hack traffic lights to cause crashes! (11/19/13 for PC, PS3, Wii U & X360; PS4 & XOne Q4 2013)
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Alright, that is it for this week! Make sure to tune in next Friday at 1:00 PM EST for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy,
~S~
Video of the Week: Have you heard of that new Daft Punk song with Pharrell Williams, uh, “Get Lucky”? Pfff, of course you have! Have you heard that old System of a Down song called, uh, “BYOB”? Pfff, of course you have…n’t. Anyway, here’s a brief summary of the band: they’re four Armenian-American guys from Glendale, California who play alternative metal and love to scream and yell a lot. Now, what if you put these two together? Since BYOB stands for “bring your own bombs”, this mashup is called “Bring Your Own Luck”. This was originally done by this guy called DJ Lobsterdust, and the sad part is this video hasn’t even broken 6,000 hits yet! Just listen to it and tell me if it should be viral by now.
Hey guys it’s Sam. You probably agree with me when I say that Disney is practically the gas giant of children’s merchandising. The children’s media Hitler, if you will. You know, without the Nazis. Ever since Walt Disney established his business back in the 1920s or so, he became one of the most influential people of the 20th century. If it wasn’t for him, cinema and media these days would be dramatically altered. Also, Disney World wouldn’t exist. Those guys have designed swimwear, plushes, nursery and bedding collections, flatware, everything but the kitchen sink. And they’re all decorated with the faces of Mickey Mouse, Perry the Platypus, Winnie the Pooh, and so on. When Walt Disney got into movie making, he was rolling out pieces of Disney history–Snow White, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, Fantasia, the list goes on. But for a while everything just stopped. Those good movies strangely disappeared, and Walt’s passing in 1966 was a major blow. Then, in 1989, everything changed.
“The Little Mermaid ushered in a new golden era for Disney animation with warm and charming hand-drawn characters and catchy musical sequences.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale, The Little Mermaid focuses on the most juvenile daughter of King Triton, a sixteen-year old mermaid named Ariel. She is unhappy with undersea life and destines to live among the human race above the surface, but frequently quarrels with her father over the “barbaric fish eaters”. She strikes a deal with Ursula the Sea Witch to make her dream come true, but little does she know Ursula has plans to make it a nightmare.
ORIGINS: Disney began working on Little Mermaid as early as the post-Snow White 1930s, but was put on hold due to numerous reasons. Ron Clements, co-director of The Great Mouse Detective, found a collection of Andersen fairy tales at a bookstore and came up with a two-page draft of a Little Mermaid-based movie. The idea was put on hold, as it would have been too similar to another mermaid movie called Splash (starring Tom Hanks). However, the movie got the green light alongside Oliver & Company, and its 2-page idea turned into a 20-page draft. After being postponed once more while Oliver & Company got its time in the limelight alongside Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the music structure was tweaked a bit and the movie finally released in fall 1989.
REACTION: Little Mermaid received critical acclaim upon release, scoring a 90% on the Rotten Tomatoes T-Meter. It was lauded for its creativity, character, and music. “Under the Sea”, one of the movie’s songs, won the 1989 Oscar for Best Original Song and is remembered as an iconic Disney song. The entire album won both an Oscar and a Golden Globe, and is respected as one of the best Disney soundtracks ever made. Little Mermaid is deemed responsible for bringing “Broadway into cartoons” and breathing life into Disney after a throng of 1970s commercial disappointments, and started what is now known as the Disney Renaissance.
The movie was picked as a Walt Disney Classic among a line of films that were released on VHS and Laserdisc, which sparked a controversy concerning a structure in the castle of the Walt Disney logo that looked strangely like a penis. It was also on The Masterpiece Collection of more VHS, and was released in a “bare bones limited edition” in 1999. Ariel was also honored with the title of the fourth Disney Princess.
BOX OFFICE: The movie did greatly well at the box office and grossed over $200 million on a $40 million budget.
“Though its story is second-rate, The Rescuers Down Under redeems itself with some remarkable production values — particularly its flight scenes.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: A sequel to The Rescuers (1977), this movie stars Cody of the Australian outback, who receives a distress call from a trapped giant golden eagle named Marahute. He gains a close friendship with the bird after he frees her, but a villainous poacher named Percival McLeach abducts Cody. It turns out Marahute’s species is endangered–and very profitable. A mouse Cody rescued from one of Percy’s traps sends an SOS to the NYC Rescue Aid Society, who recruits a white mouse named Ms. Bianca and a grey mouse named Bernard to get on the case. When accompanied by a quirky albatross and a kangaroo rat, Cody and his animal allies race against time to save Marahute and apprehend Percy.
ORIGINS: RDU is famous for being the first traditionally animated Disney movie to use CAPS (Computer Animation Production System), a computerized system used for digital ink-and-paint and compositing, which deemed hand-painted cel animation officially out of date. This was one of Disney’s first team-ups with Pixar, who would eventually make cinema history with Disney. This is also the second Disney movie that isn’t a musical, the first being The Black Cauldron, and required over 400 artists and technicians. 5 of them even went to the real Australian outback to get a good illustration!
REACTION: The film received mostly positive reviews, slipping by with a 68% on the T-Meter. Its flight scenes and action sequences were praised, but critics noted questionable plotting, the fact that the movie could’ve been anywhere (without the accents, kangaroos, and koalas), and its notable absence of any real rescuing until well into the movie.
BOX OFFICE: Rescuers Down Under had a mediocre run at the box office, grossing only $47 million–which was $10 million higher than its budget.
“Enchanting, sweepingly romantic, and featuring plenty of wonderful musical numbers, Beauty and the Beast is one of Disney’s most elegant animated offerings.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Before I even begin to explain the story, I have to say this is where Disney really regained lots of its fire that Rescuers Down Under failed to bring. Anyway, the movie starts focused on a selfish French prince who rejects an offer to give a beggar woman shelter for the night in exchange for a rose. The beggar turns out to be an enchantress, and he turns the prince into an ugly beast, and she says he must love and be loved before the rose’s petals fall unless he wants to be like this forever. Years later, we meet an inventor named Maurice. When Maurice gets lost in the woods and stumbles upon the Beast’s castle, he is imprisoned for trespassing. Maurice’s daughter Belle is like a more human Ariel–she is unhappy with her life and dreams out life outside her village. She offers to spare his father’s place, and although the two don’t like each other in the beginning, they taste the bitter sweetness of their relationship.
ORIGINS: The movie was based off of La Belle et la Bête, a fairy tale by Jeanne-Marie Le Prince de Beaumont, an 18th century French novelist. After Snow White became a success, Walt Disney considered Beauty and the Beast to adapt next. Attempts to create the movie were done in the 30s and 50s, but Disney became supposedly discouraged when French director Jean Cocteau beat him to it in 1946. Decades later, the idea was resurrected after Roger Rabbit‘s success, the script was ordered to be rewritten and hired first-time feature directors as well as songwriters. These songwriters were Alan Menken and Howard Ashman, who had previously composed the Little Mermaid score. When it was discovered that Ashman was dying from AIDS-related complications, production was moved from London to New York, where he lived. Like Rescuers Down Under, Beauty & the Beast used CAPS for animation which smoothed out the movie’s CGI.
REACTION: The film was released to nothing less than universal acclaim, getting a 92% on the T-Meter. Its memorable characters, music, and other factors turned into a Disney breakthrough that was lauded by critics. But it didn’t stop there–the movie inspired five games: one for the NES, one for the Super Nintendo, two for the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive, and one for the Game Boy Color. But it didn’t stop there–it won two Oscars in 1991, coincidentally the exact same Little Mermaid won: Best Original Score, and Best Original Song for the title track. It was nominated for four more, including Best Picture–becoming the first ever animated movie to do so. But it didn’t stop there–the movie also won three Golden Globes, two of them in the same category as the won Oscars. The new award was for Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy), making it the first animated movie to do so. Oh, and the soundtrack won four Grammys too. And it was nominated for Album of the Year. Let me repeat that–it was nominated for Album of the Year!Oh, and Belle became the fifth Disney Princess.
Three years after its release, Beauty and the Beast received a Broadway musical and became–you guessed it–the first ever animated Disney movie to do so. The movie inspired two direct-to-DVD “midquels”: The Enchanted Christmas and Belle’s Magical World, as well as a TV show (1995-1999). An IMAX special edition hit theaters in 2002, and became the second of Disney’s 3D re-releases in January 2012.
BOX OFFICE: The movie did great at the box office, grossing a record-breaking $425 million on a $25 million budget.
“A highly entertaining entry in Disney’s “second golden age,” Aladdin is beautifully drawn, with near-classic songs and a cast of scene-stealing characters.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Based on a classic Middle Eastern folktale from Arabian Nights, this film stars a street urchin named Aladdin who lives in a bustling urban town with his loyal monkey Abu. When Princess Jasmine tires of living in her palace, she sneaks out to the marketplace and accidentally meets Aladdin. (Man, what is it with these girls unhappy with their lives?!) Under the commands of Jafar, the sultan’s advisor, Aladdin is arrested and gets involved in Jafar’s schemes to rule the land using a mystifying lamp. Apparently as with all old lamps, Aladdin rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie grants him three wishes that can be granted unless they deal with murder, romance, revival of the dead, or wish multiplication. His first wish is used on turning into prince to get Jasmine’s affection, but unfortunately Jafar steals the lamp and gets three wishes of his own. Aladdin must outwit Jafar to save the kingdom and the people he loves.
ORIGINS: An idea for an Aladdin movie sprouted as early as 1988, but real action didn’t get into full swing until 1991. It was chosen among three offered projects to become a movie by directors John Musker and Ron Clements, but Robin Williams (the voice of the Genie) had a notorious conflict with Disney, refusing to allow them to feature his name or image in any marketing and that the Genie must take up only 25% of advertising artwork. The Aladdin tie-in behind-the-scenes story published by Disney Hyperion (publishers of Percy Jackson and Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan) was forced to refer to Williams as “the actor signed to play the Genie”. Well, that was awkward. Anyway, composer Alan Menken and songwriters Tim Rice and Howard Ashman (remember him?) were on soundtrack duty, but Rice took over after Ashman died.
REACTION: The film received universal acclaim, getting 92% on the T-Meter, with William’s performance as the Genie receiving considerable praise. The movie was also lauded for having the magical adventure that would be great for both children and parents, and that it had grand characters and “technical virtuosity” according to Variety‘s Brian Lowry. However, some parts of the movie were heavily panned–for example, Ed Gonzalez of Slant Magazine gave Aladdin a mercilessly negative review, calling it a racist and ridiculous “narcissistic circus act”. Roger Ebert took a less harsh approach, praising the movie in general although he did call Aladdin and Jasmine “pale and routine”. As my classmates would say, ROASTED! Oh, but it doesn’t stop there–much like Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid, it won two Oscars for its soundtrack and one of its songs (“A Whole New World”). It also won two Golden Globes, with Robin Williams receiving a Special Achievement Award. Aladdin also got an Annie Award, a MTV Movie Award (again, for Williams), three Saturn Awards, and the honor of Best Animated Feature from the LA Film Critics Assocation. Not only that, but it also won four Grammys too! Add that up and Aladdin won fifteen awards!
Also, the movie spawned two direct-to-DVD sequels: Aladdin and the King of Thieves and The Return of Jafar. It also spawned a show that only ran for a year before being cancelled. A musical based on the movie is hitting Broadway next year, and Jasmine became the sixth Disney Princess.
BOX OFFICE: The movie did so well at the BO it broke Beauty & the Beast‘s record by over $100 million. It grossed half a billion bucks on a $28 million budget!
“Emotionally stirring, richly drawn, and beautifully animated, The Lion King stands tall within Disney’s pantheon of classic family films.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: I pity you if you don’t know it already, but here’s the story. When a lion cub named Simba is born in Africa, heir to the throne of Mufasa the lion king, the Pride Land animals pay tribute and Simba is told by his dad that he will become the king of the Pride Lands when Mufasa dies. Simba’s Uncle Scar would’ve been the new lion king instead of Simba if Mufasa hadn’t had a child, which fuels him with murderous rage against Mufasa. After Scar kills Mufasa in one of the most heartbreaking deaths in Disney history, Scar convinces Simba into thinking it was his fault and that the Pride Land animals will blame him. When Simba flees from home (never to return), he is found by Timon the meerkat and Pumbaa the warthog, who become Simba’s companions. When he stumbles upon his old friend Nala, he discovers that Scar has taken the throne and ruined everything, and his people in the Pride Lands will starve if he does not return.
ORIGINS: Much like Aladdin, the idea for the movie began in 1988 when Africa came up in a conversation between chairman Jeff Katzenberg, Walt Disney’s nephew Roy, and president Peter Schneider. The film started as a treatment called King of the Kalahari, which became a draft called King of the Beasts and then King of the Jungle. This was actually among the three projects that Aladdin was chosen from. The movie was very different from its final version: Rafiki was a cheetah, Timon and Pumbaa being Simba’s lifelong friends, and vice versa. After a visit to Kenya, the movie was scrapped due to arguments over whether or not the movie would be a musical or a more nature documentary-like movie. This was also Disney’s first movie of completely original material, as they had been feeding off of fairy tales and old stories for five years. The film’s story was apparently inspired by Shakespeare’s Hamlet as well as Joseph and Moses from the Bible.
REACTION: Do I even have to explain this one? The film got 90% on the T-Meter, and its Shakespearean tones, epic scopes, catchy music, and rollicking thrills were several factors heavily lauded from critics. It did have its fair share of bad reviews stating that it had a lack of heart and didn’t rise up to the level of past Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast. Lion King went on to win two Golden Globes and two Oscars. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” won Best Original Song against “Hakuna Matata” and “Circle of Life”, and it also won a Grammy and a BMI Film Music Award. The movie also won three Annies and a 1995 KCA, resulting in it winning ten awards! It also received a 3D re-release in fall 2011, beginning Disney’s series of 3D re-releases. Two sequels were released–The Lion King 2 and The Lion King 1 1/2. Timon and Pumbaa also got their own show between 1995 and 1999 on CBS. It also inspired a Tony Award-winning Broadway musical that hit the stage in summer 1997 and became the highest-grossing Broadway musical ever.
BOX OFFICE: Lion King grossed more than Aladdin and Beauty and the Beastcombined, making $954 million on a $45 million budget, becoming (by a landslide) the biggest box office success of the Renaissance.
“Pocahontas means well, and has moments of startling beauty, but it’s largely a bland, uninspired effort, with uneven plotting and an unfortunate lack of fun.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: For the first time, Disney bases a movie off of a real historical figure–Pocahontas, a Native American environmentalist who uses music and not words to fuel her nature activism campaign. In other words, she believes the pen is mightier than the sword. Meanwhile, Captain John Smith is the leader of a band of English sailors and soldiers who are voyaging to the New World to plunder riches. In this New World, Pocahontas’ dad Chief Powhatan wants his daughter to be married to the greatest village warrior. However, Pocahontas has different ideas when she has a great epiphany that change is coming. The change does indeed arrive in the form of an English ship, and Pocahontas and Smith begin to grow a relationship. They must save their love and prevent war between Governor Ratcliffe who thinks their gold is being hidden by savages, and Powhatan who believes the English will destroy their land.
ORIGINS: The film crew went to Jamestown to study the landscapes and trees. Howard Ashman, poor Howard Ashman, was hired as songwriter as soon as he finished Aladdin, but when he didn’t make it to the end of production, Pocahontas became the first Disney movie without any Ashman music whatsoever. Originally the animals were anthropomorphic and Pocahontas was supposed to have a third sidekick, a turkey named Redfeather voiced by John Candy. However, when Candy died in 1994, Redfeather was scrapped and so was the concept of animal anthropomorphism. Richard White, the voice of BATB‘s Gaston, was originally chosen to play Ratcliffe, but he was replaced with David Ogden Stiers since he might have sounded too Gaston-y. (Stiers also plays Major Winchester III from MASH.) Other rejected offers were Rupert Everett, Stephen Fry, and Pat Stewart. Y’know, Picard from Star Trek: Next Generation?
REACTION: The critical feedback for Pocahontas was awfully mediocre; it ranked at only 56% on the T-Meter and was negatively received for being historically inaccurate and having an uneven and unfortunate lack of trademark Disney energy. Also, Pocahontas herself got some pointed fingers for having nothing more important in life than her male relationships. That’s cold, but also true. However, the movie’s awards say otherwise: the film won two Oscars for its score alongside “Colors of the Wind”, and it also won three Annie Awards. It also won an Artios Award, two ASCAP Awards, a BMI Film Music Award, an Environmental Media Award, a Golden Globe, a Golden Reel Award, and a Grammy. Altogether Pocahontas won thirteen awards! But it doesn’t stop there–it spawned a direct-to-DVD sequel called Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World, and was re-released on the Walt Disney VHS Masterpiece Collection as well as the Walt Disney Gold Classic Collection. It also received a video game for the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive, Game Boy, and PlayStation. A Super Nintendo version was originally in the making, but was cancelled due to development being too far to coincide with the Genesis version. Pocahontas was given the honor of the seventh Disney Princess.
BOX OFFICE: The film did well at the box office, grossing $346 million on an estimated $55 million budget.
“Disney’s take on the Victor Hugo classic is dramatically uneven, but its strong visuals, dark themes, and message of tolerance make for a more-sophisticated-than-average children’s film.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Based off of Victor Hugo’s classic novel, Hunchback of Notre Dame takes place in the 15th century when Clopin the puppeteer tells the story of Quasimodo, Notre Dame’s deformed bellringer who suffers from kyphosis–sorry, “hunchback disease”. As a baby Quasi was nearly murdered by Claude Frollo, minister of justice, who was forced by the Notre Dame Archdeacon to raise Quasi as a child. Young Quasi was hidden from the world by Frollo in the cathedral belltower, but decides to take part in the Festival of Fools when encouraged by his gargoyle friends. (It’s funny, cuz two of them are named Victor and Hugo.) There he meets a female gypsy named Esmeralda, as well as a handsome soldier named Phoebus. The trio find themselves up against Frollo’s evil cruelty and his attempts to destroy the Court of Miracles, home of the gypsies. Quasi must discover his inner hero to save Esmeralda and Notre Dame.
ORIGINS: The idea for Hunchback first sparked after development executive David Stain was inspired after reading a Classics Illustrated version of Hugo’s novel. Stain took the idea to Disney, and was enlightened to find that two people immediately jumped onto the project–Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise, the directors of Beauty and the Beast. The two were eager to work on it but had to make some dramatic changes to make it a more family-friendly G-rated movie, such as keeping Quasi and Esmeralda alive at the end. For a few weeks the movie’s animators actually visited the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, making and taking a copious amount of sketches and pictures to capture every last bit of architecture and detail.
Despite the movie getting by with a G rating, it showed messages centric to lust, sin, infanticide (baby killing), swearing, religious hypocrisy, prejudice, social injustice, even the concept of hell. The movie’s music contained rather mature lyrics as well, mentioning hell several times and introducing sexual indulgence using fancy words like “strumpet” and “licentious”. (Google it.) I’m surprised the movie’s soundtrack didn’t get a parental advisory sticker.
REACTION: The movie received generally positive reviews, albeit not as acclaiming as Lion King or as critical as Pocahontas. It received a 73% on the T-Meter, and was praised for being a rollicking, uplifting story that rivaled Beauty and the Beast. People praised it as a “cartoon masterpiece”, “one of the great movie musicals”, and “a pervading atmosphere of racial tension, religious bigotry and mob hysteria”. Some people were unhappy with the major changes Disney made to Hugo’s story, and many people consider it Disney’s darkest movie since The Black Cauldron–and to think that qualified for a PG rating! Hunchback did win some awards–a BMI Film Music Award, a Satellite Award, an Annie Award, and an Artios Award, resulting with just four awards. It is the first Disney movie of the Renaissance to lose a nomination to an Oscar and a Golden Globe, and it was also nominated for the dreaded Razzie. But, this blow to the movie’s self esteem wasn’t that lasting; it managed to qualify for the Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection, it inspired a direct-to-DVD sequel called Hunchback of Notre Dame II, and a 1996 tie-in game hit the Game Boy and PC. In more recent years, a world based on the movie called “the City of Bells” was included in Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. Everyone but Clopin and the Archdeacon was featured in the game.
BOX OFFICE: The movie was a moderate box office success, grossing $325.3 million on a $100 million budget, which was actually one of the two biggest box office “disappointments” of the Renaissance.
“Fast-paced and packed with dozens of pop culture references, Hercules might not measure up with the true classics of the Disney pantheon, but it’s still plenty of fun.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Hercules, son of the Greek sky god Zeus, is turned into a half-god half-mortal by the Greek underworld god Hades, who plans to overthrow Zeus. Hercules is raised on Earth and regains his godly strength, but when he finds out about his immortal heritage his dad tells him that he must be a real hero to return to Mount Olympus. With the help of his friend Pegasus and his personal trainer Phil (who’s also a satyr), Hercules becomes a great hero that battles monsters, Hades, and the Titans. However, he discovers that the self sacrifice he makes to rescue his love Meg that makes him a real hero.
ORIGINS: Hercules was in development from 1994-1997, with character design based on Greek statues and Gerald Scarfe’s work as an artist on Pink Floyd: The Wall, the 1982 movie based on the album of the same name. Each important character from the movie had its own supervising animator, and Hercules’ animator Andreas Deja said that the crew he worked with to animate his character was “the largest [he] ever worked with”. He had done work with past Disney villains such as Gaston, Jafar, and Scar. With those he had teams of four on his crew, but with Hercules he had 12 or 13. Deja was actually offered to animate Hades to keep his villain-animating streak going, but decided on the hero since “[he] knew if would be more difficult and more challenging, but [he] just needed that experience to have that in [his] repertoire.”
REACTION: The film received moderate critical praise, hitting an 83% on the T-Meter and even earning the respect of Roger Ebert. He praised the film’s story and animation, as well as James Woods’ performance for Hades, comparing his work to Robin Williams’ performance as Aladdin‘s genie. One of the film’s songs, “Go the Distance”, was nominated for an Oscar and a Golden Globe, but both awards went to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” (Titanic). It also was nominated for a Saturn Award, two Blockbuster Entertainment Awards, and a Young Artist Award, and lost every single one of them. But it did win four Annie Awards, so I guess it’s not a complete failure for Hercules. The movie received a video game for the PC and PlayStation, and even made it to the PSN later on. A direct-to-DVD prequel called Hercules: Zero to Hero was made in 1998, which in turn took place during the events of the animated Hercules TV show, which chronicled Zeus’ son at the Prometheus Academy.
BOX OFFICE: Despite the film being a box office success, it was the biggest box office “disappointment” of the Renaissance, grossing a meager $252.7 million on an $85 million budget.
“Exploring themes of family duty and honor, Mulan breaks new ground as a Disney film, while still bringing vibrant animation and sprightly characters to the screen.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: This folktale retelling circles around Mulan, a young Chinese maiden who learns that her feeble and crippled dad is called up to join the army to fight the Huns during their invasion. Knowing that he’d never make it out of the war alive in his conditions, Mulan masquerades herself and join the army in his place. However, her ancestors know of this and to stop it they send a tiny dragon named Mushu to force her to abandon her plan; he ends up becoming Mulan’s companion when he sees she cannot be discouraged. Weeks later, Mulan and her fellow troopers have survived the training camp and are on the way to war, but when she is caught and chased by her enemies, she creates a plan that forces her to risk it all for her country.
ORIGINS: Mulan began as a short direct-to-DVD movie called China Doll, directed around a miserable Chinese girl who is taken away by Prince Charming to a happy life out west. However, Robert San Souci (Disney consultant) suggested a film adapatation of the poem The Song of Fa Mulan and the two projects were smashed into one. Mulan began production in 1994 after the team sent a group of artistic supervisors to China for three weeks of photo-taking and drawing to soak up Chinese culture. The movie’s animation was more traditional to China, using watercolor and a more simplistic design as opposed to Lion King or Hunchback. The film also used a boatload of software. To create thousands of Huns during the attack sequence, the team created a crowd sim software called Attila that allowed thousands of characters to move independently. A different version of Attila called Dynasty was used in the final battle to create thousands of people in the Forbidden City, as well as Pixar’s RISpec API. Another software, Faux Plane, was used to add depth to flat 2D painting. Although the said software was introduced late into development, the software was used to add zest to five shots in the movie. During the part where the Chinese bow to Mulan, that was actually a panoramic of real bowing people edited into the scene’s foreground.
REACTION: The movie’s feedback was mostly positive, getting an 86% on the T-Meter. Praise was given to its visuals and animation as well as its story, although Slant Mag‘s Ed Gonzalez criticized it for being “soulless” in its portrayal of the Asian society. The movie’s songs also were panned for being unmemorable and bringing down the pace of the movie. Feminist critics also commented on the movie’s female heroism and repressive Chinese gender roles, claiming that the movie was a bravado for the girl power movement. The movie unfortunately lost its Oscar nomination, but it did win an ASCAP Award, a staggering ten Annie Awards, a BMI Film Award, a Bogey Award, and a Golden Screen Award, resulting in 14 won awards! The movie also inspired a direct-to-DVD sequel called Mulan II as well as a PlayStation game called Disney’s Story Studio: Mulan that came out around Christmas 1999. Apparently a live-action Mulan movie underwent filming in China back in fall 2010, but other news about it are under wraps. The movie qualified for the Masterpiece Collection and the Gold Classic Collection, and Mulan herself (as well as Mushu) has appeared in the Kingdom Hearts series. In the first two games of the series, Mushu is a summonable character. By the time Kingdom Hearts II premiered, the movie turned into a playable world called “the Land of Dragons” where Mulan was able to join the player’s party as a sword-figher. Speaking of Mulan, she herself became the eighth Disney Princess.
BOX OFFICE: The movie was a box office success, grossing $304.3 million on a $90 million budget.
“Disney’s Tarzan takes the well-known story to a new level with spirited animation, a brisk pace, and some thrilling action set-pieces.”
- Rotten Tomatoes
PLOT: Based on Edgar Rice Burrough’s Tarzan of the Apes, Tarzan is a small orphan who was raised by an ape by the name of Kala since his youth, believing that this was his family. However, when he rescues a lass by the name of Jane Porter, he then finds out that he is a human and must decide which family to live the rest of his life with…
ORIGINS: To create Tarzan‘s 3D backgrounds, the film’s production team made a 3D painting/rendering technique called Deep Canvas that allowed artists to make CGI paintings that resembled traditional paintings, and the technology was so advanced that the AMPAS gave the creators of it a 2003 Technical Achievement Award. The technique was reused for Atlantis: The Lost Empire (Disney’s first sci-fi movie) for its big panoramic island shots and a couple of action sequences. Deep Canvas was intended to create approximately three quarters of the environments in Treasure Planet, Disney’s next animated action movie, although the results weren’t as stunning and loose. The movie also got a couple of action figures and plushes and whatever.
REACTION: The film received positive reviews, holding an 88% on the T-Meter, with Entertainment Weekly comparing the movie’s VFX advancement to that of The Matrix and the film goes past previous live-action attempts on sometimes emotional levels. The movie inspired not one but two sequels–Tarzan and Jane and Tarzan II, released in 2002 and 2005 on DVD respectively. The standard VHS/DVD release came in winter 2000, and a 2-disc collector’s edition of the film was released in spring 2000. Both of these editions were soon put in the Disney Vault–er, not made available in stores for a while. One of its songs, “You’ll Be In My Heart”, won an Oscar and a Golden Globe, while the entire score won a Grammy. It also won 1 out of its 11 Annie Award nominations.
It inspired a Broadway musical that debuted in May 2006 but was closed down in July 2007 after poor sales. A spinoff TV show called Legend of Tarzan ran from 2001-2003 on UPN, and a video game for the movie called Disney’s Tarzan (1999) was made for the PlayStation, SNES, N64, and Game Boy Color. Disney’s Tarzan Untamed came out in 2001 for the PS2 and GameCube. Tarzan’s home became a playable world in Kingdom Hearts called “the Deep Jungle”. Tarzan and other characters appear as their younger forms in Disney’s Extreme Skate Adventure which hit the PS2, GameCube, Xbox, and GBA in 2003.
BOX OFFICE: With a gross of $448.1 million on a $130 million, Tarzan became the final box office success of the Disney Renaissance when Fantasia 2000 only made $90 million.
People say said movie and Dinosaur (Disney’s first computer animated movie) are the final two films in the Disney Renaissance, but when you combine their grosses they only have $439 million. Altogether the movies of the Renaissance made $3.9 billion. Yeah, top that.
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Well, that was a doozy! I apologize if you have a headache from reading all this–or an eyeache, for that matter. I bet next Friday will be much kinder, so stay tuned for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Channel of the Week: Ah, this is a better alternative than Video of the Week–I’m not saying I got rid of it, I just wanted to have some good alternative. Anyway, this week’s honor of best channel goes to Paint–doesn’t sound like much, does it? Well, it’s owned by this Texas Longhorn named Jon Cozart who makes great videos that often feature him singing, most rarely playing the ukelele. One time he made this video of him tearing paper three years back and the sync levels were out of this–uh, I’m getting off track. Check out some of his best videos:
Hey guys it’s Sam. Back in late 2010, I created a series called Joke Time, where I told Q&A jokes, clever puns, knock knock jokes, and yo mama jokes. It lasted for three episodes over three months before it officially ended. Now I want to have my own diverse segment in something of a homage to that series, but it doesn’t have anything to do with jokes. It’s about trivia. Y’see, I don’t know lots of information, but I know one heck of a lot of trivia! This week’s episode has been made centric to a lone topic: SpongeBob. Now, fasten your seatbelts and prepare to see Nick’s porous pal like never before!
Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob, says he came up with his character’s voice after he heard the yell of an angry dwarf.
Each character on SpongeBob has their own unofficial age–for example, Krabs is “seventy” and SpongeBob is “twenty-six”.
The thing is, although SpongeBob would’ve been “thirteen” by the series premiere, he is old enough to be in driver’s ed and to be finding his own job.
SpongeBob was originally called SpongeBoy, but the name was changed after the original was found out to be already trademarked (BY A MOP!). The “Sponge” was kept in because Hillenburg feared some kids would mistake for a talking piece of cheese.
Karen, Plankton’s WIFE (wired integrated female electroencephalograph), was named after the wife of series creator Stephen Hillenburg. She is also voiced by Jill Talley, Tom Kenny’s wife.
Stephen Hillenburg first came up with the idea for the series due to his time as a marine biologist. He pitched his idea to Nickelodeon by bringing a fish tank into the board room, explaining what was living inside it. He then dropped a drawing of SpongeBob inside, and said, “This is SpongeBob, the star of your new show.”
Hillenburg came up with the idea for the show in 1984, but only began work on it in 1996 after Rocko’s Modern Life (a 90s Nick cartoon) was cancelled.
The Krusty Krab’s siren is identical to the siren in The Shawshank Redemption.
Coincidentally, Clancy Brown–the voice of Krabs–was in the said movie.
Once, Spike TV attempted to convince Hillenburg to create an adult version of SpongeBob for their adults-only animated block. The show would be very similar to Ren & Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon, but Hillenburg knew what was right and turned down the offer. Luckily, Ren & Stimpy APC only survived for the entire summer of 2003 before being cancelled.
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy’s Invisible Boatmobile isn’t actually a boat–it’s a 1959 Cadillac.
The Krabby Patty was originally called the Barnacle Burger according to concept art.
While Hillenburg was a director of Rocko, he showed writer Martin Olson a comic book called The Intertidal Zone which he had made in college. Olson raved about the comic and suggested he turn it into an underwater cartoon show, which became SpongeBob.
SpongeBob‘s first season was the only season to use traditional cel animation. When season two started, they began digital inking, painting, and editing. I guess that’s one of the reasons why the second season was the best season.
The show is known for having a French narrator, and this was inspired by Jacques-Yves Cousteau who influenced Hillenburg’s interest in marine biology.
Coincidentally, Cousteau studied aquatic life himself, but passed away two years before SpongeBob began.
Each main character on SpongeBob could actually be based off of one deadly sin. Krabs is greed, Plankton is envy, Patrick is sloth, Sandy is pride, Squidward is wrath, Gary is gluttony, and SpongeBob is lust. No, not sexual desire, but a passionate desire. In this case, for the affections of friend and foe, but generally for life. Carpe diem, baby!
Much like SpongeBob, Hillenburg once worked as a seafood restaurant fry cook.
SpongeBob was given a pineapple to live in since it is a common motif in Polynesian crafts, and Hillenburg thought he’d like the smell of pineapple. Well, considering sea animals look at smelling as a very vital sense.
Despite Squidward having six legs, he is an octopus. No, it’s not because Octoward didn’t roll off the tongue–it’s because animators thought that giving him eight legs would have a burdened look for him.
Tom Kenny also voices Dog on CatDog (another 90s Nick cartoon) and the Mayor of Townsville on Powerpuff Girls.
Stephen Hillenburg notes that although the Krabby Patty formula is still very secret, it may be vegetarian. If it had meat, some Bikini Bottomites would be cannibals!
SpongeBob is actually helping the NYC Department of Environmental Protection by promoting water conservation using the slogan, “Save water–don’t drip New York dry!”
Despite the show being underwater, SpongeBob more closely resembles a kitchen sponge than a sea sponge, since that wouldn’t work well for a cartoon character. If he was a sea sponge, he’d look like this:
Hillenburg also thought that SpongeBob wouldn’t make it to a season two, but it is already on its ninth season today!
In 2007, President Obama told TV Guide that SpongeBob was his favorite cartoon character, since he watched the show with his daughters.
In Korea, SpongeBob is known as Square Square Sponge.
The show’s iconic theme song was inspired by a sea shanty called “Blow the Man Down”.
Doug Lawrence, the voice of Plankton, also voices Larry the Lobster and Johnny the fish head.
The episode “SpongeBob’s Last Stand” was released on Earth Day 2010.
The said episode was also initially SpongeBob‘s series finale, but despite that the show creators saw that they could steal the “longest running Nicktoon” title from Rugrats and kept going.
Two years later, SpongeBob finally accomplished its mission when it aired its 173rd episode “Squiditis”. (Rugrats only lasted for 172 episodes.)
SpongeBob actually inspired the name of a fungus species: Spongiforma squarepantsii.
Much like Shrek, SpongeBob received a 4D “movie” found at places including Sea World and Nick Suites Resort.
It only lasted for four minutes while Shrek 4D lasted sixteen.
In April 2013, a prequel 4D movie called The Great Jelly Rescue premiered at Nick Family Suites.
The SpongeBob film will be receiving a late 2014 sequel directed by executive producer Paul Tibbitt.
The sequel’s budget shouldn’t be surpass $100 million.
SpongeBob has created a merchandising revenue of $8 billion for Nick.
I hope you can look at SpongeBob in a new light now! Anyway, be sure to tune in next Friday at 1:00 PM EST for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Video of the Week: A couple days before Halloween 2011, our good friend Toby Turner (aka Tobuscus) began a cartoon series known as Tobuscus Adventures starring him and his friend Gabuscus with crisp animation from Gonzossm. The series garnered 34.7 million hits for Toby, but then a little thing called YouTube Comedy Week showed up. To celebrate, Toby and Gabe were put in a brand new environment like never before–a zombie apocalypse. This episode debuted the show’s new animation technique, the inclusion of Toby’s dog Gryphon, and Toby’s biggest project yet: a Tobuscus Adventures mobile game. Well, you gotta watch the video to find out more!
Last fall (I know I’ve been saying “last summer” for a while now), I made a post about Adventure Time‘s complete first season finally hitting DVD, alongside the Reg Show Slack Pack. I went into immense detail describing each and every episode, and since then I’ve been taking a look at their most recent DVDs in the same fashion. Over a year after the release of the complete first season DVD, Finn and Jake’s second round of adventures have finally been condensed onto one disc that offers 26 episodes of adventure beyond any other.
Adventure Time debuted on Cartoon Network in 2010, and it redefined the–alright, enough with the boring monologue about the show, we all know you came for the eps!
“It Came from the Nightosphere” – This is probably one of the best AT episodes out there, and scored the show its first Primetime Emmy nomination. Anyway, after Marcie sings a song about the corrupted relationship between her and her father, Finn attempts to make Marcie feel better by traveling into the Nightosphere to release her dad. However, instead of reconciling with his daughter he goes on a savage rampage throughout Ooo, heartlessly eating souls with a few condescending one-liners. When Finn discovers the problem he has created, he attempts to defeat Marcie’s father while at the same time attempting to conciliate Marcie.
“The Eyes” – When Finn and Jake are trying to get some quality sleep, they are kept awake by a horse that stands in the wake of the moon staring the two down. They try and fail various times to block the horse from their sight, and they are forced to come out and attempt to confront the horse themselves. Its “whacked out poo brain” cannot decipher what the two are saying, so they attempt to get rid of it using the strangest and weirdest violence-free methods. In this episode, we learn that Jake can play Beethoven and Mozart on his viola: most specifically, Moonlight Sonata and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
“Loyalty to the King” – When F & J rescue the Engagement Ring Princess from the Ice King’s clutches, our frosty fiend is distraught that ERP has supposedly broken up with him. Meanwhile, a new king called “the Nice King” becomes an icon among the princesses. When Princess Princess Princess mentions the new king in front of F & J, they decide to become the king’s knights. When the king “imprisons” the princesses and makes them find a suitably beautiful princess to marry, he sends F & J on an important mission that uncovers a dark secret about the new king…
“Blood Under the Skin” – When Finn gets a splinter, he visits Choose Goose to get a protective thimble which causes several nearby knights (especially Sir Slicer) to ridicule him and show off their armor. When Finn asks Choose Goose to hook him up with some click-click armor, his offer to trade the armor for Jake’s head is rejected, so he gives them a poem which leads them on a quest to find the Armor of Zeldron. Which, according to Choosy, is totally click-click. He must travel through a swamp, silence the echoing of the woods, and defeat the one thing that stands between him and his armor. All while avoiding Sir Slicer and his endless stack of condescending ridicules.
“Storytelling” – Jake has become ill, and his one request from Finn is to tell him a story. But not just any story. This story needs to contain romance, fighting, suspense, and a happy ending. To find elements for his story, Finn travels to the forest where his story search ends up getting out of hand–he catches Boobafina the duck and Mr. Fox making out for “romance”, starts a fight with Teenage Bear for “fighting”, and even threatens a nest of birds with a rock for “suspense.” But by the time he realizes what he’s doing to the forest inhabitants is wrong, Finn faces “becoming one with the soil” when he hears the call of the wild…
“Slow Love” – When a snail named Snorlock attacks the treehouse, he says he comes in peace and is simply looking for love. When Snorlock ends up using the treehouse as a shell, Finn and Jake attempt to teach Snorlock the bases of talking to the ladies with role-playing, saying that feminine mollusks love men with swords. When Snorlock finds a sword and beatboxes at the same time, he woos a group of female snails that begin to destroy the house. When Finn & Jake attempt to protect their house, they discover Snorlock’s darkest secret…
“Power Animal” – When Finn’s energy and focus becomes the center of attention at a roof party, a vague gnome is told by him that he has enough energy to run a huge machine. Not weird at all, right? Well, after the party at night Finn is kidnapped by the gnome, befuddling Jake and BMO at his absence in the morning. Meanwhile at Finn’s captive headquarters, the gnome from the party is revealed to be the Grandmaster of the Gnomes, and he had been captured by his henchmen to–you guessed it–use his immense energy to power the “Upturnoverdrive”, which will flip around the entire world on its axis. When Jake realizes Finn is missing, he searches for him but must overcome several distractions including telling jokes with Nymphs and being possessed with the energy of a thousand partying demons… (Yeah, you heard me.)
“Crystals Have Power” – After Jake wins a “tough guy contest”, he has a flashback dream of his father saying, “It’s okay to hurt anyone”, which he strongly disagrees with. Thence Jake decides to start a non-violence vow–however, his timing is off, as a crystal they find opens a portal to the Crystal Dimension, where Finn is kidnapped for their great master. What makes the situation go from bad to worse is that Jake must go to non-violent resorts to save Finn while he is being crystallized. When Finn becomes a crystal, Jake laments over his fallen friend when a crystal version of Tree Trunks suddenly appears and a secret or two gets revealed… (Man, what’s with all the secrets? And why is Finn getting kidnapped so much?)
“The Other Tarts” – The royal tart is the most delicious confection in the entire Candy Kingdom, and people would risk their lives just for a single bite of it. The only one reliable enough to take these tarts through the whole kingdom and into the Badlands for the back rubbing ceremony was the Royal Tart Toter. As the Toter is now too old and daft to do his job, PB needs a new Toter to take the royal tarts into the Badlands–and who else to rely on but Finn and Jake? But this is a life-or-death situation–if the two fail to deliver the tarts punctually, PB will be beheaded! Knowing that a princess’ head is on the line, the duo chooses to defend the tarts by taking the most perilous routes, but the plan goes haywire when they come across threats from a group of hobos to a cave of zombies…
“To Cut A Woman’s Hair” – This is easily one of the greatest and most pivotal Adventure Time episodes ever made, and it is among my all-time favorites. The story starts when Finn and Jake are chewing apples to feed the masticated matter to a group of baby birds, and their mother rewards the two by calling them heroes. Meanwhile, a tree witch, who was apparently eavesdropping the entire time, emerges from the bushes in awe of standing before true heroes. She is unhappy with her balding, and would love to have a nice head of hair. When F & J attempt to flirt with her, she shows that she’s legitimate by threatening to suck Jake into her “bottomless bottom” (talk about a black hole theory), so Finn goes on a journey to find some princess hair for the tree witch before Jake gets sucked in.
“The Chamber of Frozen Blades” – This episode was so creative, I’ve created my own Street Fighter IV-based fighting game for it. Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. Anyway, F & J are having a stakeout in the Ice Kingdom, observing the Ice King’s frosty fortress. They’ve seen no change for six hours, so they decide to go in. Finn wants to hide until the Ice King comes back, but Jake resorts to abandoning their hiding spot, which causes Finn to chuck a meatball at him. He misses and hits their foe’s holo-computer instead, which ends up breaking into a sheet of ice that uncovers the Ice King’s secret ninja cave. As they learn the art of fridjitzu and become ice ninjas, they play around with their powers and test their abilities. Meanwhile, the Ice King is at a hospital with a seemingly sick Gunter, but once he returns home (causing F & J to hide once more) he realizes his penguin pal isn’t sick at all…
“Her Parents” – Lady Rainicorn is apprehensive about letting her parents meet Jake during lunch, since rainicorns and dogs have had some past beef to the point of warfare for territory in the Crystal Dimension (how convenient), and she is nervous her parents will hate Jake as they hate all dogs. Finn uses condiments to paint Jake up and covers the house with rainbow jelly to trigger a rainicorny ambience. When Lady’s parents arrive, they can speak proper English due to universal translators, and they initially believe Jake is a “handsome rainicorn”. As Finn helps Jake pull off the rainicorn persona while playing traditional rainicorn games like Capeladapelawamapthhpppppthhhhh, Finn is overworked, injured, and about to lose his final straw. Unfortunately, when Jake says that his friend is “a little raw but has great taste”, they interpret this as believing that Finn is their lunch…
“The Pods” – When our heroes stumble upon a dying Gnome Knight that has been turned into a frog, and needs a “pure hero” to protect a chest with three magic pods inside. Apparently two are good and one is evil, and that one evil pod must be destroyed once and for all. Finn and Jake accept his offer moments before he dies, and they decide to plant the pods to see which one is evil. The next day, one pod splits open to reveal a group of cute piglets in several costumes including a chef, a bumblebee, and a magician. The second splits open to reveal a pack of magic wands, which the piglets play with. The third splits open to reveal nothing but ice cream. Eventually, Finn and Jake discover that they’ve signed up for more than they bargained for when the piglets mysteriously vanish…
“The Silent King” - After F & J defeat the tyrannical ruler of the goblin race, King Xergiok, they get taken to the Goblin Kingdom’s palace where they meet the royal chief-of-staff, Gummy, who wishes for Finn to become their new king. Since Xergiok loved to spank his fellow goblins on the tush, the goblins were surprisingly unfamiliar with compassionate treatment. Finn attempts to reject the offer, but after realizing that the goblins could start a destructive war without a ruler, he accepts the offer and has Jake as his “queen”. Unfortunately, when he and Jake refuse to read the book of royal rules, he discovers that goblins run under a very restricted system that prohibits him from brushing his teeth, chewing his food, or even helping goblins in trouble! Speaking of misfortune, Xergiok is planning the ultimate attack-with-a-vengeance on the kingdom with an army of Earclops in an attempt to finish what he had started…
“The Real You” – At the Candy Kingdom, PB is holding her annual science BBQ and Finn and Jake attempt to present her a gift–a scale model of the Candy Kingdom made from Finn’s spit bubbles–when she ends up sneezing it away. Chet (that candy corn zombie from “Slumber Party Panic”, but in non-zombie form) and Peppermint Butler quarrel over who will be the BBQ’s grillmeister, and they end up knocking over the grill and starting a fire which Finn puts out quickly and heroically. Impressed by Finn’s heroism, PB grants him the honor of being a speaker at the BBQ. Finn, apprehensive about not being intelligent enough to impress PB, goes to the library with Jake to stock up on smarts, They get extremely bored and cause a ruckus which gets them kicked out. After unsuccessfully infiltrating a Worm College class, Finn visits Choose Goose’s magic shack. There he discovers the Glasses of Nerdicon–in exchange for entertainment–which instantly levels him up to full out genius, knowing every concept of the universe and beyond like nobody’s business. But could Finn’s smartness be his biggest downfall at the BBQ?
“Guardians of Sunshine” – Finn and Jake are spending time playing Guardians of Sunshine on BMO, complaining about how their enemies and lava pits are nothing but a cakewalk. However, the difficulty level bumps up when they face the final boss–Sleepy Sam–who kills them, like every other time they’ve played the game. Finn wonders how it would be like if they were in the game, so at night they trick a sleeping BMO into pressing a panel button on his control pad and transporting them into the game. They are converted to 3D, where they discover that the game is bigger than humanly conceptualized, and Jake attempts to cross the pit like he usually would in real life–he dies twice. When Finn dies once when facing Bouncy Bee, and they are unable to beat Hunny Bunny. If Finn and Jake couldn’t beat these bosses, Sleepy Sam must be a pain in the everywhere…
“Death in Bloom” - PB puts F & J in charge of her Princess Plant while she attends a science conference in Veggie Village, but it turns out that F & J have no plant-sitting experience whatsoever. In fact, F & J’s absurd techniques kill the plant before the end of the day, and Finn brings up the idea of trekking to the land of the dead to claim its soul before PB returns. Peppermint Butler overhears this and opens up a portal for the two, which leads them into the underworld. When they come across Death, the person they need most, he furtively uses reverse psychology to erase Jake’s memory and challenges Finn to a music battle for both the plant’s soul and Jake’s memories. But here’s the plot takes a turn–every contest needs its judge…
“Susan Strong” - While uprooting taffy-tree stumps, Finn and Jake come across a strange metal hatch in the ground. They follow its path to an underground garbage-infested cave, which is actually inhabited with the tribe of the “Hyoomans”. (Sound it out. ) Among these Hyoomans is one Hyooman that Finn and Jake focus solely on. As Finn had mentioned the sun coming down into the cave, she tells them “su-sun” when they ask for her name, which is interpreted as Susan. After seeing her inhuman strength, F & J ultimately name her Susan Strong. When they decide to bring Susan to the surface to teach them about the world surrounding them–like with any beginner–they get more than they bargained for, and eventually they have to stop Susan from getting to the Candy Kingdom to–you know.
“Mystery Train” – To celebrate Finn’s thirteenth birthday, he and Jake board a train with a mysterious pink-skinned conductor. While riding, Col. Candy Corn and Mr. Candy Cane end up bumping into one another on the bumpy ride, which infuriates the colonel. However, when the train goes through a tunnel–making everything pitch black–only Mr. Candy Cane’s skeleton remains! Doctor Donut accuses the colonel of being the perpetrator, but Finn knows that the murderer would never be the first one suspected. When sharing details about a person who could’ve framed him, the colonel is found dead after the lights flicker again. A gumdrop states that anyone could be the murderer–even Finn–and quite ironically (almost poetically) he is the next to go. The train ride quickly turns into a high-speed whodunit with innocents dying left and right, and Finn’s final suspect is the Conductor himself, who had used an alibi of being “awesome and cool”. After the epiphany, Finn and the Conductor engage in a hardcore fight possibly to the death…
“Go With Me” – While having a sunset picnic, Jake brings up the Couples Only Movie Night to Finn, but he is unsure who to go with. Jake is already hooked with Lady, and Finn tries to practice his kissing skills on a duck, only to freak it out. Jake ends up being his wingman for movie night and teacher about basic couples, and Finn decides to call someone that he didn’t need to kiss. It is none other than PB, who unfortunately turns down Finn’s “romantic” offer since she was practicing for the Whistling Choir Death Match Championship. Finn is distraught, but Jake motivates him by saying she really did want to go and they just need to “convince” her. Finn ends up using Marcie to make PB jealous by using several phases, and even some of Marcie’s more abrasive advice. When PB is drawn more and more away from Finn as his plans become more and more strange, Finn discovers that his perfect girl was right under his nose…
“Belly of the Beast‘ - When Finn and Jake’s Tree Fort gets all shook up, rudely awakening them from their slumbers, they find a firework-spewing beast outside the fort. After hearing cries from inside the beast, they decide to venture inside the behemoth’s body to rescue the victim–the victim actually being a bear who needs help putting up streamers. In fact, inside the monster’s stomach F & J find themselves inside an entire bear rave complete with flashing lights and fireworks, every partygoer seeming oblivious to the rave’s location. When they fail to get any attention with their statement, they decide to reconcile with the party’s patriarch–heh heh, its “party”-triarch–Party Pat (Andy Samberg), whom resides at the “blood waterbed” that is the beast’s heart. And besides, if Pat leaves, everyone follows. And not even a syrupy duet ballad from the two can save the bears from their possible fates. Let’s just say it involves a lot of lava…
“The Limit” – When looking at the night sky, they hope for a shooting star to come so they can wish for an Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. However, a firework streaks across the sky instead and makes a message upon explosion that says “BUTT”. This actually means “Baby Us Trouble Time”, which is a distress signal from Hot Dog Princess’ knights, who are trapped in a labyrinth. Our heroes decide to investigate themselves, and they are pointed to a wish-granting beast at the center of the maze. However, in this labyrinth, Jake’s powers have a limit which is clearly shown as Jake grows paler and weaker. As Finn and Jake reach the heart of the labyrinth, Jake becomes inches away from his breaking point as Finn gets closer to solving the puzzle…
“Video Makers” - You may not know it, but Finn and Jake hold their own annual nightly Finn and Jake Movie Club at their tree fort. Tonight they’re showing old Mushroom War-era flicks (the War was what made Ooo look all post-apocalyptic-y), but one thing is restricting them–and if you guessed copyrighting, you were correct. Realizing that they’ve been committing criminal actions of illegally showing copyrighted movies, they decide to cancel for the night (despite Jake believing the pre-War copyright was powerless) and eventually find a video camera after the Club, and decide to show their own movies at the club. The next day, Finn, Jake, BMO, and Princess Bubblegum all work together to create a movie. But while Finn wants a tense action-adventure, Jake–surprisingly–wants a syrupy romcom. And with every piece of footage Finn makes come criticism from Jake, and with every piece of footage Jake makes comes criticism from Finn, and so on. And left with the prestigious job of editor, BMO’s got his hands full over what to do–until he decides to quit the fight through the movie.
“Mortal Folly” - After a session of meditating on the balcony, Finn and Jake are given special gems from Princess Bubblegum like the one in her tiara, set to protect them at where they were just about to go–the chamber of an evil sorcerer known as the Lich King, currently trapped in an amber prison. The gems’ protection purposes were that just staring at the Lich without this gem would possess you, similar to how anyone who dared to stare at Medusa turned to stone. Unfortunately, at this time the Waving Snail (you might have seen him in Easter eggs cameos in select episodes) crawls in, gets possessed, and slowly breaks the Lich’s amber prison and sets him free! Only left with the gems, the Gauntlet of Billy (Ooo’s greatest hero), and a pink sweater (for Finn as a token of affection, obviously), Finn and Jake must venture on what must be their most dangerous journey yet to prevent the Lich from regaining all his power. At the same time, they must break through an equally dangerous problem–the Ice King with his persistent pesters to receive a blessing to marry PB.
“Mortal Recoil” - Now, I’m gonna have to spoil what happened at the end of “Mortal Folly” or else “Mortal Recoil” really won’t make much sense. Y’see, after the Lich’s defeat, the Ice King decided to pick up PB to “set her free”–but only clumsily and rather stupidly dropped her into the Lich’s Well of Power. The effect of the boiling well melted her body through–remember, she’s Princess Bubblegum–but, despite what the title card foreshadows, she did not die. She was rushed to the Candy Kingdom’s hospital, and (in a scene resembling your average super-cheesy medical drama) she was thankfully revived although she briefly flatlined. Tons of people came to see her recover, including Finn, Jake, and the Ice King. And Finn got a new pack courtesy of the princesses as a token for beating the Lich! Finn’s really put the Ice King on his blacklist now–this was clearly seen at the hospital–but he and Jake offer to nurse PB back to health. But they find some strange occurings in PB’s behavior, like crawling, heavy breathing, convulsions and other spasms. But as the day goes on, it is shown that the Well really left its mark on PB, turning her into an altered beast that Finn and Jake must fight to save Ooo and every single lifeform in it.
“Heat Signature” – In the season finale, Finn and Jake visit Marcie as she and her friends watch Heat Signature, which could be by the looks of it a sci-fi horror/thriller (considering its tagline is a blatant Alien reference). These friends of hers are three ghosts: Wendy, Booboo, and Georgy. When Finn is discomforted by Marcie’s couch (which she never uses due to her flying powers), he and Jake wish they were vampires or ghosts. Marcie tells the two to close their eyes for the Biting Ritual–which is actually the Pinching and Ketchup-Dabbing Ritual. The prank continues when Finn and Jake believe that they’re invisible and try to mess with LSP, but Marcie’s ghost friends become more and more hostile to the point of attempted murder…
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Now don’t be hopping out of your chair and driving to your nearest Walmart–this baby hits stores in two weeks, the Tuesday after next Tuesday. That gives you a lot of time to save money and stuff. Well, that’s all folks! Tune in next Friday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Video of the Week: It wasn’t a real hard decision to pick this video. Ever since my big bro introduced me to South Korean pop music (“K-pop”), I became overwhelmed with all these artists I was listening to. I actually put up a post about one of those artists a while back–remember, Girls’ Generation? Anyway, this was another Korean artists Chris introduced me to–well, actually they’re a trio. They’re called Clazziquai Project, or just Clazziquai, and they specialize in making the best Korean house in the country. They have released several albums: Instant Pig, Color Your Soul, Love Child of the Century, the three-part Mucho series, and their latest one Blessed. This song comes from Instant Pig, and it was probably the trio’s first breakthrough hit on a trail of success. It talks about a girl and a guy singing sort of a “he said she said” love song from two different perspectives, and it’s called “Sweety”. This is probably my favorite song. Like, ever.
I love English. I’ve always had a forte for writing and reading, and I’ve been telling my own stories since the second grade. Back then all I did was draw superhero comics fueled by Captain Underpants books, but albeit it did make me iconic in the classroom, as I matured so did my writing. I went from writing superhero comics to writing real picture-less stories. Sci-fi, horror, fantasy, realistic fiction, the whole nine yards. But during my middle school years, I met a great teacher whose name was Mr. Principe. Also known as Mr. P, P Diddy, “the Fresh Prince of ELA”, and his mustachioed alter ego “Prince”. He (Mr. P) called what he taught not English, but ELA (English language arts), but he taught it well. He gave me counsel and tips of how to make my writing more exciting (hey that rhymed), and his classroom doubled as a welcome reading environment. He had not one but three shelves of books crammed with novels including The Ear, The Eye, and the Arm, Ender’s Game, Holes, HIVE, and the first two Mysterious Benedict Society books. A couple of months ago, after finishing Max Cassidy: Escape from Shadow Island as a read-aloud story, he introduced us to this novel. I’ll never forget it.
Smells Like Dog, written by the author of Coffeehouse Angel and To Catch A Mermaid, revolves around the wild misadventure-filled romp that is the life of Homer Winslow Pudding. Yes, his last name really is Pudding. Homer is a countryside boy who lives on a goat farm in Milkydale with his parents and his sister Gwen, who is an aspiring taxidermist. Homer’s uncle Drake was eaten alive by a carnivorous mutant tortoise, and he aspires to be a treasure hunter like his uncle was, much against his father’s preferences. A man named Mr. Twaddle shows up at Homer’s door with his condolences and a single keepsake to inherit–a basset hound named Dog who has a very special coin on his collar. The catch about Dog is that he has no sense of smell, but when Homer leaves for the city to search for Rumpold Smeller’s treasure, he discovers his buddy’s true powers as he searches for the answers with a single clue: L.O.S.T. However, the treasure will not be an easy sweep, because every Peter Pan has his Captain Hook. In this case, Hook would be Madame la Director, who wants the treasure all for herself. Along the way Homer meets three new friends: Laura Lee (a pink-haired tomato soup girl), Ajitabh the Cloud Man (you heard me), and Zelda. No, not Zelda from Legend of Zelda (I wish), but the tall deep-voiced Zelda. With a band of unlikely companions, could Homer defeat Madame once and for all to save the treasure? Or will her diabolical plans come to fruition?
“A fantastic tale in every good sense of the word…both exhilarating and soulful.” – Rebecca Stead, Newbery Medal-winning author of When You Reach Me
“Full of fantastic characters…delightful humor, and wonderful adventures, this book is a treasure.” – Sarah Beth Durst, author of SFWA Andre Norton Award finalists Into the Wildand Ice
PRESENTATION: Smells Like Dog seemed like it was a modern-day Huckleberry Finn at first, but it turned into a fast-paced and mystery-filled adventure that had me second guessing along the way. Selfors molds her characters with astounding detail, well tracing Homer’s relationships with his friends in such a way that you’ll be mowing through numerous chapters at a time. (10/10)
STORY: A very unorthodox approach to the middle-grade adventure genre, both for better and for worse. The upside is, it’s a unique story with a staggering amount of detail that supports over 300 pages of story telling. The downside is, Selfors creates her story with so much detail that I very often found myself lost within the story’s events. I’m trying to recall a minor event as I type. Maybe that one time at the elevator where–er, maybe when Homer met Laura and–uh, see what I mean? Also, some of the story plot lines are just unrealistic. I’m pretty sure those cloudcopters should’ve been a red flag. (8/10)
FUN: Smells Like Dog is as fun to read as it is to picture, and with over 300 pages of adventure you can create a pretty good painting around that. Visiting the lair, the Realm of Reptiles, and other places is a blast with Selfor’s creative detail. (10/10)
STYLE: Aside from major detail and great storytelling, Homer’s adventure isn’t really that “stylish”. I’m not imagining like “James Bond walks away as an explosion occurs behind him” stylish. I’m imagining like “the story has some fluidity to it” stylish. However, it’s so heavily written that when I tried to swim in its seas of fluidity, I drowned. (9/10)
QUANTITY/QUALITY: Smells Like Dog is nearly 400 pages long. Read my statements above and do the math. Alright, I’ll make an algebraic equation: say s = story, d = detail, f = fluidity, and q = quality. If sd – f + q = this book, solve for the variables. (10/10)
FINAL VERDICT: Smells Like Dog is one of the most innovative adventure novels you’ll ever read, a whimsical romp of an action-packed mystery that does heavy lifting with its detail for better and for worse. A rewarding read only for the most skilled readers, or those who enjoy stories about dogs and/or adventures. (9/10)
FINAL SCORE: Suzanne Selfors’ Smells Like Dog receives a 56/60, which is a 93% score that gives the book the final grade of an A.
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Well, how about that for a Sammwak double feature? Anyway, make sure to tune in next Friday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak! I say Friday because I’ll be leaving again this weekend to Illinois, and I don’t have anything scheduled for next Monday. If it’ll be another double feature, I don’t know. But it’s safe to say you’ll dig what we’re cooking up next!
Stay classy America,
~S~
P.S. Want to check out some more Suzanne Selfors books?
Smells Like Treasure- When the moment Homer has been waiting for–finally becoming a true adventurer–arrives, he is set back by an unexpected foe who starts a battle where the one who solves the clues and finds the loot first will win the prize of becoming an adventurer.
Smells Like Pirates- In what could be the finale for the three-part adventure of Homer and Dog, Homer finds himself closer than ever to Rumpold Smeller’s treasure. But when a bitter enemy forms a villainous organization called FOUND, the duo is caught at a gripping decision: either join the dark side to find the prize, or ditch their lifelong quest to find the treasure.
To Catch A Mermaid- Since his mother died in a tornado, Boom Broom doesn’t think his life could suck any more. When he finds a baby mermaid that grants infinite wishes, his sister Mertyle is hit by the curse of the merfolk, and Boom and his friend Winger must return the baby mermaid to her mother before it’s too late to break the curse.
Fortune’s Magic Farm- When Isabelle discovers she is the heir to Fortune’s Farm, a place where magic remnants grow, she finds an opportunity to break away from her mundane life working at an umbrella factory. Isabelle’s new home full of curative cherry trees and flying fronds looks like paradise, she must harvest the powers of the farm to bring back the sun and stop the despicable Mr. Supreme, owner of the umbrella factory.
Video of the Week: Adande Thorne, aka Swoozie, is probably one of the greatest vloggers on YouTube. Ever since February 2006 he’s been uploading fragments of his life story, and since last year he began using animations to tell his stories. This way was much better for his channel and scraped together millions of hits. This is probably Swoozie’s first video ever that doesn’t tell some part of his life story. Here’s the setup: Swoozie plays the driver of a girl named Alyvia, and as he drives her to an undisclosed location he is suddenly confronted in the middle of the road by a duo of armed diamond thieves. You’ll never believe the ending.
One of the diamond thieves (the guy in the front seat) was Cameron Magruder (better known as Scooter Magruder), who is also a great vlogger. In case you don’t know him, he was a YouTube Next Vlogger who’s been featured on The Today Show, the Orlando Sentinel, the Huffington Post, and even NBA TV! Here are a couple of videos to get yourself recognized with him:
Hey guys it’s Sam. To start off, I am super sorry about the delay on Monday. I got back from a weekend in Illinois and didn’t have anything scheduled for today, so I decided to postpone. I hope you’ll forgive me. Anyway, today marks the pilot of my brand new segment, Paranoid Android! What? …The heck you mean you don’t know what a paranoid android is? It’s a song by Radiohead, obviously! Haven’t you heard of OK Computer? Anyway, the meaning of the title not only is a blatant Radiohead reference, but it also ties in with the fact that these reviews come straight from an Android smart-phone. An LG Optimus Elite W powered by Virgin Mobile, to be exact. Consider this to be iNSiDE iPhone 2.0. If you don’t know what iNSiDE iPhone is, you clearly aren’t a long-time Sammwak fan. It was an old old old (like 2010 old) segment on Sammwak, one of my first, where I reviewed games I played on my brother’s fancy-schmancy iPhone. The segment was brimming with purposely awful grammar (i.e.: “rly”) and somewhat wise pro-tips, and survived a stunning eight episodes using a traditional Sammwak algorithm. Think of Paranoid Android as something short of a rebirth.
Anyway, today we’re reviewing a sequel to an old favorite of mine. An app that showed just how much the iPhone could do with its touch screen capabilities, more than Angry Birds could ever do.
When Om Nom is marveling over his candy, a time machine magically shows up and sucks in his companion of confectionery. When our little munchkin goes into the time machine, he meets several different versions of himself–his ancestors, I should say. When Om Nom and his fellow fathers get together and plot some strategic feeding techniques, Cut the Rope Time Travelis born. Now, this sequel expands greatly on the original CTR and Experiments. It does not require the reflexes of CTR, nor the intellectual mastery of Experiments–it uses a puree of the two. CTR Time Travel is such a unique entry into the series since it uses new elements that turn the tables on your side a bit. These include (but are surely not limited to) chains n’ blades, the freeze button (tap it to stop time), and rockets perfect for carrying candy and blades around. These new strategies totally change the game and make those three stars much more harder to acquire as you must feed both Om Nom and his ancestor. The game has six worlds for the six different ancestors of Om Nom:
The Middle Ages - The new Om Nom in this world wears a viking helmet and a traditionally long ‘do. This level focuses primarily on the use of bubbles (candy encased in these automatically rise upward), the chain-blade algorithm, and timing. They are awfully easy to begin with, but get harder as they progress and really make you think about what ropes to cut. Overall, it’s still pretty easy–a nice way to kick off the game.
The Renaissance - The Om Nom in this world wears a typical Italian mustache-goatee combo, and a good old feather hat. This level focuses primarily on the freeze button, as well as the occasional chain-blade and the brand-new physics of the stretched rope (you know it’s stretched when it turns red). This one is surprisingly tougher than the first world, as it requires almost nothing but sheer timing skills to get candy at the right point in frozen time and/or stop it from being shattered by spikes. No, but 2-15, the last level–that one’s a killer.
Pirate Ship - This ancestor of Om Nom’s wears a fancy pirate hat and a traditional pirate ‘stache. This level deals a lot with not only the freeze button and bubbles, but also the new “mini bomb”. Whenever candy touches one of these, it automatically explodes and gives the candy some big air. Also, “bouncy platforms” were introduced to give candy a little spring in their steps. The trajectory physics of this world are absolutely astounding, wired down to the very last detail. Without the advantages of matter and energy, the levels really make you think and only pass with some trial and error. Trust me, I should know.
Ancient Egypt - This ancestor wears nothing but a good old pharaoh hat. Anyway, this world introduces what I like to call “the flying snitch”–a candy with wings that goes wherever your regular candy goes. When a regular candy is eaten, the snitch loses its wings and its powers. If there’s one word I can use to describe this world, it has to be physics. The precise physics of this world can navigate the snitch through tricky and perilous situations–even a box outlined with spikes! This world also makes some good use of the stretched-rope physics as well, and this world also incorporates the methods of taking it slow. When flung too quickly, a snitch can easily get shattered in a line of spikes, but can make it through when navigated slowly enough.
Ancient Greece - This ancestor wears a crown of leaves and what looks like a medal, as if he’s an Olympian. This is probably the best of the six I’ve played. Since it is a Greek world, stone platforms are incorporated to switch between the two Om Noms. And if you think it couldn’t get better, you’re wrong! This world introduces PORTALS! Drop a candy in one portal, it comes out the other. Simple physics. Oh, and these portals come in green and blue, so they correspond depending on their colors. Precise techniques and clever physics fun are abundant in world five, and this is probably the one I had the most trouble with. Yeah, to the point where I used online cheats. Hey, don’t arrest me! This just proves that the level really gets you thinking and can only be passed by true CTR prodigies as myself.
The Stone Age - This ancestor is a plump caveman with a bone in his hair and a single buck tooth. The sixth and as of now final world in CTR Time Travel (because every CTR promises “new levels coming soon”)tests you the most, seeing if you’ve really picked up anything from the past five worlds. This one pulls out all the stops, incorporating rockets (used for transporting candy and blades out and about), the freeze button, portals, and the brand-new sun dial, used for adjusting things to their correct spots from portals to candies. This world is not only fun and creative, but very logical and advanced. Only true CTR masters hold the title of defeating this world, and it quite literally isn’t rocket science. Of course, I can’t say much, since I’m–er–still working on the level…
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CTR Time Travel is an innovative doozy that shines Om Nom in a new light and changes his game forever, using stellar physics and unique gaming techniques that are ultimately worth checking out. However, the game does have some downside–it has an annoying tendency to freeze at the loading screen, which not only slows down the game pace but often prohibits you from playing any longer until you reboot the phone, which we all know is no fun. Also, I find it cantankerous how once a candy leaves the screen, one of the 2 Om Noms stares at you with that awfully cute sad-look instead of enjoying their candy. It also grinds my gears that whenever I play the first world, it shows me that little intro every time. Luckily, that’s why ZeptoLab created the ability to skip with a single tap.
I give Cut the Rope Time Travel 9 Om Noms out of 10. Well, thanks for joining me on Paranoid Android. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got another post to make.
Stay classy America,
~S~ 8)
P.S. Oh, did-ja-hear? Sammwak has its own official Google+ page! Follow it to get up-to-date breaking news about Sammwak and a special hint about the next episode! Follow us here:
Video of the Week: Alright, let’s just leave it at one this time. Two is too chaotic. This one got put up by our good friend Toby Turner back on Tuesday. In the third edition of his “Trapped in an Ad” series, Toby wakes up super-late at 1 PM and rushes against the clock while being persuaded by the voice that’s narrating his bad afternoon to eat two flavors of Limited Edition Hot Pockets: Spicy Beef Nacho and Cuban Style. If you’re a seasoned veteran, you know that Toby actually put up his own hilarious Hot Pockets “ad” which was used to advertise Hot Pockets via Facebook. How could you not, I even put it up that one time! Anyway, enjoy this video.
I’ve been a diehard for Cartoon Network as long as I can remember, ever since it introduced one of the biggest pieces of my brain’s nostalgia center–Tom & Jerry. When I don’t have anything to catch up with, or I do but I’m just kinda procrastinating, I usually spend my time playing their site’s games. You already know that I have some major beef with the Adventure Time games (excluding Jumping Finn, which is actually good), strong faith with the Reg Show games, and keen interests in the Gumball games. Well, take these three shows and a whole lot more, convert them to 3D, and cram them into one game. What do you get? No, not Formula Cartoon. You get this.
Finn, Dexter, and Four-Arms fight the beasts of botany in “the Field”.
FusionFall Heroesis the sequel to the well-renowned FusionFall Universe which Cartoon Network introduced back in 2009. Instead of an open-world experience where you could interact with some of your favorite characters, this is a nonstop action RPG very similar to DOTA. In FFH, you play characters such as Finn and Mordecai, and you get automatically sent into a level. Each level is different–you could be fighting the Tech Queen, while your friend could be fighting the Graveworm. Before you fight the levels’ bosses, you must go through about four waves of smaller enemies. I’ve classified my enemies into two categories:
The enemies that die with one hit, also known as the petite enemies
The enemies that take a round of hits to die, also known as the buff enemies
Anyway, if you’re not a very skilled fighter and you get major health blows, you’re in luck. At your side are medical chests (marked with red crosses) that have health boosters in the forms of breakfast foods like jellied toast, cereal, and pancakes. Also, at your side are very special chests (marked with the infinity sign) that offer special powers once opened. I call it Infinity Power since I really don’t know what the official name is. Once you consume the IP, a five-bar gauge next to your health fills. Once at least one bar is full, you can right-click to perform a special attack that takes away -266 of the enemy’s damage. If you die, you don’t need to restart your fight–you respawn automatically, which saves me a lot of stress and fury. Furthermore, there are these red barrels that explode a few seconds after being hit, which is an easy way to wipe out a pack of petites.
At the in-game store, you can also buy new characters in the forms of “eggs” using points that you receive after a fight.
Right now I’m kicking butt as Finn, and my gamer alias is “Major Zelda”. So if you see that name anywhere while you’re playing FFH, think of me. Anyway, I got hooked onto the game a few weeks ago, the first time I played it. I was bored out of my mind and probably killed an hour or so playing Heroes. What made me so addicted to the game, kept me going back for more, was that it so easy to master. A simple click of the mouse equals a swing of the sword, and that’s probably all you need to know besides that special attack. I love how something new pops up every time I play, and they always have the greatest and most unique boss fights. Albeit they’re not very hard boss fights (I mowed through two in my first sitting), they always relate to the environment you’re fighting in. For example, if you’re fighting monsters made out of auto parts in a junkyard, you’re gonna get a monster made out of cars. Most specifically, the Truckosaurus Rex. Furthermore, if you’re fighting monsters made of electronic parts in a fancy lab, you’re gonna get a giant electronic monster made of enough energy to run a parking lot of Nissan Leaves. Most specifically, the Tech Queen. I also appreciate the 3D techniques that were transcribed from Formula Cartoon.
However, its tendency to repeat levels is very annoying, and the first time I played I thought it was because I hadn’t saved. Then I realized you couldn’t save. Anyway, if I defeat the Tech Queen once, I’m not interested in defeating her five more times. Also, the game’s excitement does quickly wear off, and you find yourself very bored instead of very thrilled. Also, the game does lag sometime on me, which is no fun for an RPGamer. The game’s solo content does get a bit rusty after awhile, but it does offers a party co-op mode that I haven’t tried yet, since I have no friends to co-op with.
Well, let’s not tell sob stories and get to our chart.
THE GOOD
Immersive gameplay
Gorgeous 3D environments ala Formula Cartoon
No-brainer controls
Medical and Infinity Chests serve as helpful aid kits
Ingenious boss fights
THE BAD
Gets tedious and boring after a while
Cantankerous tendency to repeat fights
Annoying lags that slow down battle paces
Offers a middling amount of content in solo mode
FINAL CONSENSUS: FusionFall Heroes is very addictive and unparalleled for a Cartoon Network title, but for any ordinary browser-based RPG it has very insipid flaws such as fight repeats, lags, and conspicuous tedium. However, the game does offer enough to have you coming back for more, which says something.
FINAL SCORE: 8.3/10 (great)
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Well, with all that aside, make sure to subscribe if you’re new, and don’t forget–press the like button. Come back next Monday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Video of the Week: Pogo already gave us not one but two Videos of the Week last time (“Living Island” and “Roarcraft“), so it shouldn’t be a surprise I found something really good this week. This video was the third one Pogo ever released, and it was actually put up back in May 2008. It’s not really a remix of anything–it’s Bertke’s first original song. It’s called “SplurgenShitter”, and if you have any questions about the name, don’t ask me because I don’t know. Don’t ask Bertke, because he won’t tell you. Besides, it got paired up with footage of Nick dancing around wearing a Darth Vader mask and it has 1.1 million hits. Quality Internet video!
(You could also find a 4-minute version of the song on Weave and Wish, an EP Bertke released in 2009.)
Our Bonus Video of the Week is a Pogo remix of Lord of the Rings (the Frodo era, not the Bilbo era) that came out in March 2011 and has 1.9 million hits. Someone actually had the nerve to role-play as Frodo, comment on the video, and 3 weeks later it got 187 likes. A true quality Internet video.
Hey guys it’s Sam. Back last year I made a post where the good ole Bookie made a post summing up all of the good books that were coming out that year. Now, I’m here to bring it again, and now you won’t have to wait for most of the novels–they will most likely already be out, and I want to introduce my comrades to some new books. So for now, enjoy this delicious smoothie of chopped, crunched, and blended book-world news of what’s cooking this year.
I’m a huge fan of fast-paced sci-fi thriller novels like Maximum Ride and Witch & Wizard so I think I’d dig this one. This one came out back in February, so it’s gotten lots of time to sink into the mainstream quicksand. You could call this the novelization of Inception if you wanted to, but the latest novel from young adult author Kiersten White really messes with your mind. Mind Games(or Sister Assassinfor non-Americans) is a fast-paced psychological thriller starring Fia, whose first impulse to go with her gut is always correct. Annie, Fia’s sister, is sightless to her surrounding world–she only opens her eyes when her mind whizzes with odd visions of the future. The two sisters are taken into a school that uses superhuman females as weapons of corporate espionage, where they must decide repeatedly to use their strange abilities in horrific ways or to risk their lives and fight the system–no matter what the cost.
Young-adult authors might remember Kiersten White as the author of Paranormalcy, an urban fantasy trilogy that introduced her to the world of books and turned her into a NY Times bestselling author. The final novel, Endlessly (how ironic), concluded the saga last year and White is currently making plans for a Paranormalcy film. MTV Music Video Award-winning director Ray Kay is set to direct the movie.
The book received mixed reviews. High praise was given for its spy-fi elements and well-suited ending, but high criticism was given for pretty much everything else, most notably the plain characterization.
Speaking of sci-fi thriller, that brings us to our next novel which came out back in March. In the writing debut of Debra Driza, Mila 2.0, the titular character lives with her mom in a small Minnesota town. She was supposed to forget her harrowing past of being created in a secret computer science lab and programmed to do the humanly impossible. But when Mila discovers her shocking secret, she must flee. Flee from the dangerous operatives who want her dead because she knows too much. Flee from the mysterious group that wants to capture her and unlock her tech. But Mila’s hidden powers will surprise you (and her), and they might just save her life. Her artificially intelligent life.
Mila 2.0 is just the start. Driza plans on making two more books starring Mila to form a Mila 2.0 trilogy. Goodreads described the book as “the first book in a Bourne Identity-style trilogy that combines heart-pounding action with a riveting exploration of what it really means to be human.” They recommended the novel for fans of I Am Number Four, and said that the book’s gripping ending would pave the way for Mila’s second adventure and have readers hungry for more. I guess there really was more to Mila than met my eyes.
The book received generally positive reviews. Its fast-paced action and heart-racing adrenaline rushes were lauded, but its romance overemphasis and lack of emotional connections were noted as something that could’ve been finessed.
Take Timmy Failure, the clueless and confident CEO of the best detective agency in the nation town. Throw in his partner, an imaginary friend in the form of a polar bear named Total. Throw in Timmy’s mom’s Segway the Failuremobile, and what you have is Total Failure Incorporated, a global enterprise designed to make Timmy wealthy enough to prevent his mom from stressing over bills. But of course, his plan does not include the 4′-tall lady who we shall call She Who Must Not Be Named. Nor does it include Rollo Tookus, who cannot carry out a super-easy spy mission due to his obsession with getting into “Stanfurd”. Stephan Pastis makes a stunning and charming departure from Pearls Before Swine with Timmy Failure: Mistakes Are Made, “the kids’ comedy of the year”. Here are a couple notable blurbs that would look great on the back of the book:
“Timmy Failure is a winner!” – Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid
“Seldom has failure been so likable–or funny.” - Wall Street Journal
“…a great story starring an unforgettable protagonist whose unorthodox approach to detective work (and world domination) will have readers in stitches.” – Lincoln Peirce, author of Big Nate
“Readers should be simultaneously amused and touched by this quirky antihero.” - Booklist
“Pastis has assembled an eccentric and funny cast (running gags revolve around Total’s voracious appetite and a librarian who looks like one of the Hell’s Angels), yet there are also touching interactions to be found…” - Publishers Weekly
Timmy Failure received generally positive reviews. Its well-written humor and charm factors were positively recognized by critics, but some flat characterization and peculiar usage of archaic references were also dissected.
You may recognize Marissa Meyer as the unique author of the sci-fi romance novel Cinder (the start of the Lunar Chronicles), which was one of Indie-Bound’s Kids Next List picks for last winter. But the story of our favorite cyborg heroine is not yet over, as her story continues into Scarlet, the thrilling sequel which came out in February. Now after discovering a shocking secret, Cindy’s trying to break out of the clutches of prison in New Beijing (this was after World War IV), but she’ll be the most-wanted fugitive of the Commonwealth even if she succeeds. Halfway around the Earth, Scarlet Benoit has a missing grandma. It turns out there’s a lot Scarlet doesn’t know about Grandma B, nor of the grim danger she has lived in her whole life. When Scarlet meets a street fighter named Wolf who may or may not have the whereabouts of Scarlet’s grandma, she is reluctant to believe Wolf. However, the two are drawn together in some sort of relationship. After Scarlet and Wolf solve one mystery, they run into another when they come across Cindy herself. Now this misfit trio must stay one step ahead Queen Levana, female ruler of the moon colony Luna. That introduces the book’s side plot, where she is attempting to make Kai (the prince of New Beijing) give into his pressures of marrying Levana or evoking a World War V.
In spite of its slow start, the novel received critical acclaim for its deep and complex story, a shrewd and surprising backstory, and impeccable fairy-tale weaving that made it impossible for most people to put Scarlet down. People are still coming up with ideas of how the brand new characters could play vital roles in the final half of the four-part Lunar Chronicles.
Jessica Brody began writing and “publishing” novels at the age of seven, using materials like cardboard and electrical tape to turn her into an amateur bookbinder. She is no stranger to the world of young adult books–she’s written three already–but this story is her most stellar and unorthodox departure yet. In Unremembered, the beginning of Brody’s new sci-fi saga, a flight courtesy of Freedom Airlines ends horribly and unexpectedly with a crash over the Pacific. No one ever suspected to find survivors among the wreck, and that’s why the sole survivor of the crash has made global headlines. That survivor was 16-year old Seraphina. However, her body shows no signs of the crash, but here’s the kicker–she doesn’t remember boarding the plane. In fact, she doesn’t remember anything before the crash, let alone at all. No one knows why she wasn’t on the passenger manifest, nor can anyone locate her DNA or fingerprints in a single database on Earth. As this astray amnesiac attempts to piece together her empty past, befuddled by a world she doesn’t know and an ominous threat she can’t remember, she discovers an odd boy who claims to have known her before the crash. A boy who claims they were in a relationship. Sera must decide whether or not this boy can be trusted, and if he can protect her from those who have been making her forget.
It turns out you really can’t judge a book by the cover, as Unremembered turned out with very mixed reception. People praised it for having the elements of a sci-fi gem, but criticized it for being an orthodox story that brought nothing unique to the action-thriller genre, and how its intellectual properties (planning and thoughts) were in over their heads. Oh, and it came out in March.
If you’re like me, you’re very familiar with the fantasy subgenre of “fractured fairy tale”. These kinds of books put twists on classic fairy tales and mend interesting and unexpected worlds around them, taking the original stories to whole ‘nother levels. Examples include Gail Carson Levine’s Ella Enchanted, and Adam Gidwitz’s A Tale Dark and Grimm/In A Glass Grimmly. Coincidentally, this story was made for fans of those books. Now rising fantasy star Liesl Shurtliff has given a twist on a classic Grimm story: Rump. This came out just a couple of weeks ago, so it’s probably ankle-deep in the mainstream quicksand. Now, Rump isn’t just short for Rumpelstiltskin–in a magic kingdom where names are destinies, he literally is the rump of everyone’s jokes. But his luck changes when he finds an archaic spinning wheel–he discovers he can spin straw into gold. His best friend whom we’ll call Red (hint hint) warns him of the magic’s darkest dangers, and she’s right. With each spun thread, Rump obliviously weaves himself deeper and deeper into a curse. To break the curse, he must go on a dangerous quest and fight off pixies, trolls, poisonous apples, and a maliciously foolish queen.
Rump got positive reception for having the fun side that most stories fail to have, full of delightful adventures and hidden messages such as greed and friendship.
From the look of this cover, you may already tell this has something to do with sci-fi. Well, if you guessed that, you’re right. This is indeed a sci-fi story called Pulse from the author of Skeleton Creek, which came out in February. 38 years from now, the world is still recognizable. No world wars, no apocalypse, no Republics or Capitols–I’m assuming. Well, the country has been split into two “super States” (what.), and protagonist Faith Daniels attends what is little more than a teenage daycare. In the future, select teens have “pulses” which grant them with the power to move things with their minds. In other words, they’re telekinetic. Faith discovers that she has a pulse with the help of a mysterious classmate named Dylan. Faith uses her powers against telekinetic masters so powerful they could pancake their enemies using uprooted street lights and shifted boulders. But even with a pulse, the mind can be hard to control. So can the heart. If Faith and Dylan want to combine forces and save the world of the future, she must harness both and discover that real power comes from within.
Reception for Pulse was mixed to negative. Its unexplained future was heavily panned alongside its conspicuous lack of action-packed adventure, plus its underwhelming characters and relationships and a greatly deceiving synopsis. In fact, here’s how one Goodreads user put it: “…almost non-existent adventure (unless you consider moving cups with your mind adventure), poor and mostly unlikable and under-developed characters and extremely unhealthy relationships.” Wow, is a story about telekinesis and saving the world that bad?
Also, the finale for Laurie Halse Anderson’s award-winning Seeds of America trilogy (started by Chains and continued by Forge) is forthcoming. It’s going to be called Ashes, and the plot is as of now unknown. The book may be releasing this year as opposed to 2014, but I guess we need to stay tuned for those news.
Ah, finally. We’ve saved the best for last. People who mowed through the Hunger Games trilogy and were starving for more turned Veronica Roth’s Divergent into an award-winning NY Times bestseller. When the book’s sequel Insurgent came out, people turned that into yet another award-winning bestseller. The two books became so successful that Roth is currently planning for a Divergent movie! (Check her Twotter feed to stay tuned. Yeah, I did that on purpose.) But now, after months of theories and guesses, Roth’s epic finale to her trilogy is coming this October–Allegiant. Yeah, Roth sarcastically gave the book the name of Detergent, but some people thought it was called Convergent, and that’s how this came up:
Anyway, check out Amazon’s and Goodreads’ summary to the explosive end to Roth’s smashing saga. (Oh, like my amazing alliteration?)
What if your whole world was a lie?
What if a single revelation—like a single choice—changed everything?
What if love and loyalty made you do things you never expected?
The explosive conclusion to Veronica Roth’s #1 New York Times bestselling Divergent trilogy reveals the secrets of the dystopian world that has captivated millions of readers in Divergent and Insurgent.
Stay tuned and stay hungry for Allegiant when it hits stores October 22. But for now, here’s a link to Roth’s Twotter:
That was fun! If you plan on reading any of my recommended books, post it in the comments below. Make sure to subscribe if you’re new, and don’t forget–press the like button. Now just stay tuned until next time to get more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Video of the Week: If you’ve stuck with me long enough, you probably know who Nick Bertke is. He’s the greatest mixer of all time, that’s who he is. He goes under the stage name Pogo (his channel’s called “Fagottron”), and although he has less than 250,000 subs, his videos have gotten millions of hits and millions of fans for his unique remixes of movies and TV shows. His best works include remixes of Harry Potter, Mary Poppins, Alice in Wonderland (1951), and Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs. Today’s video of the week is a Pogo remix from two years ago with nearly 750,000 hits. It’s a remix of HR Pufnstuf. If you don’t know what that is, sit back and enjoy this lesson.
Back in the 60s, there were these people named Sid & Marty Krofft. They made a show called HR Pufnstuf, which ran in 1969 on NBC. Yes, I said NBC. However, the show was so successful it stayed on the Saturday morning schedule until 1972. The show’s about a boy named Jimmy who takes his magic flute named Freddy and rides a boat to Living Island, where everything from clocks to houses are anthropomorphic. The island’s mayor is a dragon whom is the title character of the show, who takes Jimmy in to protect him from the show’s antagonist Witchiepoo. In a nutshell, it’s basically a psychedelic Sesame Street.
Because I love you guys so much, here’s the Bonus Video of the Week. It’s another Pogo remix, but you should be able to tell what got remixed from the name of the video.
Back last year, I did a full review of the Bone graphic novel saga by Jeff Smith, one of the best graphic novelists I know. In case you don’t have time for playbacks, here’s what I scored each book (remember, this was the old template):
Out from Boneville - “an energetic start to a great graphic novel series…” (20/30)
The Great Cow Race - “…the best book of the pack!” (30/30)
Eyes of the Storm - “…the darkest addition yet.” (24.5/30)
The Dragonslayer - “…may not be the best Bone book since The Great Cow Race, but it’s a full-fleshed attempt at it” (24/30)
Rock Jaw - “…great premise and dazzling excitements” (22/30)
Old Man’s Cave - “…a barbaric warrior…with well-played action, adventure, and drama” (26/30)
Ghost Circles - “…a good wallop of laughs, action, adventure, and excitement that will definitely go into the scrapbook.” (23.1/30)
Treasure Hunters - “…solely the lowlight of the Bone saga.” (17.5/30)
Crown of Horns - “…a mightily entertaining–and epic–conclusion.” (23/30)
Now I’m back to review another graphic novel, from the same Scholastic imprint that’s been with Mr. Smith since the start. This one has to be one of the most unique comic novels I’ve ever read–and it’s not just because it introduces a new writing style or has vivid pictures. It has both of those, don’t get me wrong. But here’s the reason why it really stuck out to me–it’s not a wild over-the-top fantasy like Bone or Amulet–it’s an autobiographical story, a memoir! Eat Pray Love, Diary of a Young Girl, Running With Scissors, Marley & Me: A Dog Like No Other, those are all memoirs. But none of those tell a story quite like this.
Released in February 2010 by Raina Telgemeier and Scholastic/Graphix, and based off of Smile: A Dental Drama, a webcomic created by Telgemeier, Smileis an auto-bio that takes place during the 1980s and early 1990s, following Raina’s years from a preteen to a real teen. One night after a Girl Scout meeting, Raina’s friends race her to the porch. However, Raina trips and falls right onto the side of the road, busting out one of her front teeth and jamming the other up into her gum. What follows is nearly five years of on-off braces, surgery, ignominious headgear, even a retainer with false teeth! However, Raina’s dental drama is only a portion of her problems–a gnarly earthquake leaves her town shaken and stirred, Raina begins to notice two big crushes, and friends who turn out to be not very friendly. The story evolves with Raina as she goes into high school, finds her true artistic voice and real friendship, and finds a place where she can really smile.
Check out this interesting picture of Raina that offers an inside look at her teeth! I’ll have you know folks, this was in summer 1989! She was 12 years old!
PRESENTATION: Smile was the breakthrough for an inglorious author, and it’s easy to see why. Raina tells her story clearly without any narrative exposition (okay, so a few helpful names here and there), and she writes it in such a way that you can feel the emotions she’s feeling. The terror in her eyes during the earthquake when the floor begins to tremble under her feet. The amazement in her eyes when she sees The Little Mermaid for the first time. The sorrow in her eyes when she has to replace her real teeth with false teeth. The anger in her eyes when she stands up to her not-so-friendly friends. Raina tells this story impeccably and powerfully, in a way that’s just as unique as the premise itself. The illustrating work done with Raina and Steph Yue (whom provided the pictures’ color) has to be one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen in a graphic novel. Not as simplistic as Captain Underpants, not as detailed as Bone, but a nice balance in between the two. (10/10)
STORY: Same main ideas. Also, some people may be able to relate to the story such as people who are bullied at school, going through orthodontic treatment, and the like. (10/10)
FUN: Raina cracks a few jokes here and there to keep readers smiling. Also, since Raina’s story takes place in the 80′s and 90′s, there are tons of pop culture references, some more blatant than others. Raina owns an NES and is seen playing Super Mario Bros and Wizards & Warriors. Raina’s sister unsuccessfully tries to persuade her to buy DuckTales. Q*bert, Kid Icarus, and NES Soccer also make cameo appearances at the store. (10/10)
STYLE: Time for some restating. The humor and drama come in packs, and Smile puts up a fine balance between light-hearted humor and realistic drama. The book has ravishing illustrations that make everything look more down-to-earth. (10/10)
QUANTITY/QUALITY: Smile may not be told in real chapters, but it feels like Raina’s life is being told step by step, chapter by chapter, week by week. It has a great story to tell, and the quality of it is–dude, we’ve been over this. Giddy humor, raw drama, amazing illustrations, great connections, blah blah blah. (10/10)
FINAL VERDICT: Smile is one of the best graphic novels you’ll ever read, telling a powerful story mixed with giddy humor and realistic drama and emotion, topped off with great illustrations that make this book a true gem among Scholastic’s Graphix lineup. (10/10)
FINAL SCORE: I, Sammwak, am proud to give Raina Telgemeier’s Smile the first ever JGB 2.0 perfect score, 60/60, which gets it an automatic A+. Raina really deserved it, but hopefully after her Girl Scout meetings she remembers to walk to the porch this time. Heck, to show you how good this book really is, I’m gonna give it a seal of approval!
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Anyway, that’s a wrap for this week here at Sammwak! Have an awesome Spring Break, and I’ll see you next week (hopefully)!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Video of the Week: I was gonna put up a Harlem Shake this week, but then today my art teacher showed me this. It’s a 6-minute short film called Pigeon Impossible, about a young man who is a rookie secret agent I’ll call Discount Jake Gyllenhaal. Now, Discount Jake here is dealing with a problem that most rookies don’t come around–what happens when an inquisitive little pigeon makes its way inside your nuclear, government-issued, multi-million-dollar briefcase? Find out in this video that’s already gone viral with 1.8 million hits.
Oh, what the hey, here’s the greatest Harlem Shake you’ll probably ever see in the history of the universe EVER. Also, it might be the final Harlem Shake. Take a click to see why.
I’ve already reviewed the first two novels in James Patterson’s bestselling Middle School series starring young troublemaker Rafe Khatchadorian. Now for some “I-don’t-mean-to-brag-but” fun facts. For his work, Patterson became the 2010 Children’s Choice Book Awards Author of the Year, and he received more than than 15,000 votes in a category shared with fellow middle-grade authors like Carl Hiaasen and Rick Riordan. His Witch & Wizard series was introduced to the biggest launch of a young-reader series in history, surpassing sales of the first Twilight, the first Wimpy Kid, and The Lightning Thief. Last year JP sold more books than Stephen King, Tom Clancy, Dan Brown, and John Grisham combined. He’s grossed over $3 billion in global sales, which is higher than the theatrical gross of Avatar–and that’s the highest-grossing movie ever! But Patterson stayed humble with his achievements, and last December–a mere two weeks before Christmas Eve 2012–he decided to shake things up. He released a brand new realistic fiction story that didn’t star Rafe. Yep, he incorporated an entirely new universe and one of the most unique plots I’ve ever seen. JP’s new book is totally funny–in fact, it’s so funny it even has it in the name.
What I consider to be the spiritual successor to JP’s Middle School series, I Funnyis a unique story by James Patterson and Chris Grabenstein, who he also worked with for Armageddon, a novel in JP’s Daniel X series. This book centers on Jamie Grimm, a young lad about Rafe’s age who lives in Long Island, CA–more specifically, at Long Beach. He is an aspiring stand-up comic who’s been studying the techniques of classic comedians from Homer Simpson to George Carlin and probably every comic in between. His uncle Frankie runs a local diner (kind of like Swifty’s Diner, the place Rafe’s mom works), and he has a few pals at school–Pierce, Gaynor, Gilda, and Suzie (aka “Cool Girl”). But however, just like Rafe’s relationship with Miller the Killer, Jamie’s got a big bully on his back–Stevie Kosgrov, Long Beach’s bully of the year 3 years straight. However, what’s worse about Stevie is that he’s–er, for the sake of spoilers, I’ll just skip that one.
Anyway, Jamie lives with his adoptive family which he dubbed “the Smileys”–ironically, they haven’t cracked a grin in who knows how long. This is a perfect audience for Jamie’s jokes, because if he can get them to laugh, he can get anyone to. In fact, he tries out his jokes on everyone from his classmates to the customers at Frankie’s diner! Jamie has hopes of entering and maybe even winning the Planet’s Funniest Kid Comic contest. But when he goes up in front of an audience for the first time, the following events change his life forever–the most essential being meeting the girl of his dreams. Also, what makes Jamie such a character to root for is that he can’t walk, and takes his wheelchair everywhere he goes. Now, who can’t feel sympathy for that?
PRESENTATION: I Funny delivers an ingenious balance of humor and drama, the same mix that made Rafe’s first adventure a real home run. However, what makes this mix a bit more unique is that the humor and drama come in bundles, the humor is more genuine and easy to “get” (although some readers who are familiar with the comics may know some of the jokes). The drama is raw and emotional, and a few times in the story my inner self actually cried. Rarely in a book do I cry while reading it. Albeit Laura Park, JP’s long-time illustrator, draws the detailed pictures of the story, she gives I Funny its own special something, making pictures look more polished and realistic. (10/10)
STORY: Jamie tells his story with realism and cracks some jokes or introduces some scenic situations that actually make a story a bit “mushy”, just like Rafe would. However, aside from humor and drama, Jamie tells a very down-to-earth story that incorporates real-life things like bullying, friendship, a first love, and broken hearts. Jamie is a character most readers would root for, especially after all you see him go through in the book. Connections between characters are strong as well. However, there’s one thing that won’t make me give I Funny a perfect score in this category–Jamie uses Rafe’s same “fake reality” techniques to try and zest up the story. In this case, Jamie believes that most of the Long Beach community is made up of zombies, but they are shown to be more funny than freaky. The book feels a lot like Rafe had helped Jamie write it–for better and for worse. (9/10)
FUN: It’s entertaining to watch Jamie spin his tale in a way that tons of authors have done, but it’s still nonetheless very unique. It’s intriguing to picture the events that occur in the book from the factual to the fictional, and the vivid imagery–if you saw my last JGB 2.0, you’d know that was almost the exact same stanza I used for Rafe’s second adventure. I Funny and Get Me Out of Here share lots of the same jokes, sequences, and connections, which says something if JP wanted this book to stand out more. However, this book does lots of media referencing–comics like Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, Yakov Smirnoff, Steve Martin, Steven Wright, and Kevin James. Speaking of Kevin James, Jamie also references his star role in Paul Blart: Mall Cop several times. References to KGB, acme (a staple in 20th century comedy like Looney Tunes), Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Penn Station, The Brady Bunch, Harry Potter, and much more. Hey–I think all that referencing just won this book its half of a point back. (10/10)
STYLE: Time for some restating. The humor and drama come in bundles, the humor is more genuine and easy to “get” (although some readers who are familiar with the comics may know some of the jokes). The drama is raw and emotional, and a few times in the story my inner self actually cried. Rarely in a book do I cry while reading it. Albeit Laura Park, JP’s long-time illustrator, draws the detailed pictures of the story, she gives I Funny its own special something, making pictures look more polished and realistic. (10/10)
QUANTITY/QUALITY: I Funny has a great story to tell, and it took 69 chapters to tell it! In fact, the book begins with Jamie choking onstage (forgetting his setups and such), and then it flashes back a while. JP managed to tell enough story and pack in enough element, characterization and such, to meet up to that point in the book, which actually doesn’t come until very late. It’s great how you get to know people like Pierce, Gaynor, Gilda, and Cool Girl, and how they interact with Jamie. How their relationship with him changes as the book progresses and you begin to relate to Jamie more. This is the kind of feeling that I got when I reached the dramatic climax of Middle School, Worst Years of My Life where everything kinda reached its summit. (10/10)
FINAL VERDICT: I Funny packs the same wallops of humor and drama that Rafe would, but the humor is more authentic and the drama is more raw and tearjerking–never has Patterson told such a dynamic story that has the powerful plot lines that really make this the third hit of JP’s threepeat. (10/10)
FINAL SCORE: 59 out of 60 –> 98% –> A+
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Check out some vids from JP’s official YouTube channel!
Ah, what a day. Well, make sure to tune in next week for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
~S~
Videos of the Week: Check out these mind-blowing Nick mixes from my ole buddy Nick Bertke, aka “Pogo”. For y’all who don’t know who he is, he is literally the greatest mashup artist on Earth. He’s made groundbreaking remixes of Harry Potter, Dexter, Up, Toy Story, Monsters, Inc, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Mary Poppins, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, the list goes on folks. Tragically, last Thursday Nick put up a 3-minute video explaining how and why he is no longer allowed to enter the USA for the next decade. I mean, the poor lad got sent to the big house for 3 weeks! Never would I think of Pogo as an inmate. Anyway, here’s the video…
…and to cheer you up, here are two amazing Pogo mixes you can jam to. The first one is an iCarly remix, made in honor of the series ending after five years of being one of Nick’s greatest hits. The music in the mix ranges from all of the show’s seasons, and you may be able to pick out some episodes. The second one is a SpongeBob remix, which also ranges from all of the show’s seasons, and you may also be able to pick out some episodes. ENJOY!
) Among these Hyoomans is one Hyooman that Finn and Jake focus solely on. As Finn had mentioned the sun coming down into the cave, she tells them “su-sun” when they ask for her name, which is interpreted as Susan. After seeing her inhuman strength, F & J ultimately name her Susan Strong. When they decide to bring Susan to the surface to teach them about the world surrounding them–like with any beginner–they get more than they bargained for, and eventually they have to stop Susan from getting to the Candy Kingdom to–you know. 
And with every piece of footage Finn makes come criticism from Jake, and with every piece of footage Jake makes comes criticism from Finn, and so on. And left with the prestigious job of editor, BMO’s got his hands full over what to do–until he decides to quit the fight through the movie.
