HAPPY NEW YEAR….’S EVE FROM SAMMWAK!


No, relax. It’s not 2012…yet. I’m just here to take a good break from my creation of my profit-pioneering parody Harry Daughter and the Half-Blood Unicorn, and celebrate yet another holiday of the year…the new year! Who knew that 365 days (or 366 in a leap year) could be the home of such legendary creations? Mortal Kombat finally came back early this year, two Assassin’s Creed adventures came out in one year (Brotherhood and Revelations), Ubisoft desperately tried to make another Experience title (The Black Eyed Peas Experience) after the crumbling of their Michael Jackson title, among other video game publications. But I’m here to talk turkey about 2012, not 2011! Well, we all know it’s been a truly great year. I’ve turned 10, we’ve reached 50,000 hits, Sammwak has celebrated its solid 1st birthday anniversary (now currently at 1 year and 8 months; what an old blog!), and lots more. And I hope that Sammwak will keep on doing its good deeds into the new year. Now let’s talk about our first topic: TV!

Finn and Jake look extra cozy in their swank sweaters. Is mine coming?

We all know the last time we saw the “dude and his dog” duo of Adventure Time: secretly watching Ice King’s tapes of embarrassments like video diaries, personifications of PB (Ice King) falling for the Ice King (Gunter), and Ice King’s terrible cover of Marceline’s “Fry Song”. This was just some of the bacon bits that made the long strip we know as the 2-part “Holly Jolly Secrets”. But what are Finn and Jake’s plans for 2012? Starting next month, Adventure Time is now moving from 8:00 pm on Mondays to 7:30 pm on Mondays! Why do I think that’s a bad decision? I usually eat dinner around 7:30! In the dining room! Thanks a bunch, Pendleton, my man; now I’ll be catching up to your adventures on demand.

And how is the cast of Ooo celebrating the new year? Well, all I have to say is…it’s MiXiT time! That’s right, not only is Ooo going to celebrate 2 days from now (New Year’s Eve) on 1:00 sharp, but I’m giving you an extra day to work on your new MiXiT creations extra hard, and with just enough luck, your creation might be shown during the marathon! How cool is that? Oh, and speaking of MiXiT, be sure to expect tons of titles coming your way, including (but not limited to) Gumball, The Looney Tunes Show, Scooby Doo Mystery Inc., Johnny Test, and—finally—Regular Show! The craze that is now known as MiXiT actually started 2 years ago, with titles like Chowder and Flapjack dominating the software. Man, did I miss out.

And speaking of which, remember how Disney Channel butchered (did I say butchered, I meant revamped) the holidays by turning them into “Fa-La-La-Lidays”, the exact same way they turned October into “Monstober”? Well they’re turning next month into “JaNEWary”. Apparently all the DC shows you can think of are churning out all new episodes, which I thought they’ve been doing all this time. Do you want to see Jessie (Jessie) realize how it’s like to be high above moving traffic? In the upcoming episode “Star Wars”, your wish becomes granted. Do you want to see Ravi (Jessie) finally become a coolio like Luke? In the episode “Are You Cooler Than A 5th Grader?”, your wish also comes true. Do you want to see Zendaya and Bella Thorne (Shake It Up‘s Rocky and CeCe) together in their first-ever DCOM? With the new movie Frenemies, you’re going to see plenty more.

This half-movie half-anthology is a threesome of stories. The first one, starring Zendaya and Bella, features the hardcore friendship of Avalon (Bella) and Halley (Zendaya), BFFs who are overjoyed when their Geekly Chic fashion blog is going to be turned into a magazine, but only one person can stay on board as senior editor, which means that only one person can live their dreams. This turns their frisky friendship into red-hot rivalry, and will these “Best Friends Forever” become “Best Friends For Never“? Well, I can’t give away too much, so let’s go onto the next story.

Science-whiz Jake is about to show his dog Murray to his project partner/crush Julianne (A.N.T. Farm‘s Stefanie Scott), but Julianne has something about her that Murray doesn’t enjoy—and the feeling is mutual.

The third and final story goes off to the tomboyish Savannah who comes from a nice and energetic family, and she then meets the uptown-styled Emma, who looks almost like a twin to her. Like a storyline off the bars of Garfield: A Tail of Two Kittens or Monte Carlo, the two switch lives and realize that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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Well, I’ve considered that I’ve talked enough about games, so let’s look at 3 games I always see on every top-1o list I look at.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dubbed as one of the best games of 2011, this game finally jumped into retailers’ hands around Thanksgiving, and Bethesda Softworks/Game Studios has never been the same since after the downfalls of Brink, and the already made success of Rage. Skyrim has been the head of the pack for things like an immense world, amazing dragon brawls, lovely art design, atmospheric touches, enjoyable battles, the list goes on. This adventure is obviously the fifth adventure of the Elder Scrolls pentalogy started in 1994 by Bethesda Softworks and Game Studios. Think of your usual Viking quest. Full of dragons, horned headgear, and lots more. Skyrim gives you that and more. Just ask the number of critical gaming sites that have given this game such high, near-perfect/perfect praise:

GameSpot – 9.0/10

1Up – A-

IGN – 9.5/10

GameStop – 9.6/10

Toys R Us (no lie) – 5 stars out of 5

Amazon – 4.6/5

Portal 2 - The original Portal was a test against speed, skill, and strategy, and that’s what made it such a hit in puzzle gaming. It spiked a countless amount of memes from “The cake is a lie” to “Still Alive”, so you’d think that the sequel to it would be even better. And that’s just what it was. Supporting clever writing, delightful puzzles, intriguing co-op situations, and hugely entertaining newcomers to the Portal roster, this may be the only puzzle game created in such science-fictional fields to be considered “hilarious.” “Uproarious.” “A hoot”, if you may. GLaDOs from the original Portal may have been outdone by the new robots in town: Atlas (the short one) and P-Body (the tall one). Just look at what the people across the interactive planet had to say:

GameSpot – 9.0/10

GameStop – 9.3/10

IGN – 9.5/10

Amazon – 4.7/5 stars

Toys R Us – 5 out of 5 stars

Batman: Arkham City - If you thought Arkham Asylum was all the Batman amazement you’d get in a year or two, think again. Arkham City has proved itself as one of the most dynamic games of 2011, getting acclaim and praise from everywhere you could think of (aka the interactive world). One of the highest rated of 2011 alone, this born legend was scripted out by pro comic book author Paul Dini, who also provided the scripts to Arkham Asylum, Freakazoid (Candlejack, anyo-), Krypto the Superdog, and lots more. Stealth and tactics are the two most vital thirds of the game, amongst the beat-em-up third of the game. Already out for the PC, the Xbox, the PS3, and even (coming soon) the Wii U, the game has already impressed critics worldwide and has never received a score that left the boundaries of 9.0 or higher. It also became one of the fastest-selling games with 4.6 units shipped in one week! Let’s do our own research, shall we?

GameSpot – 9.0/10

1Up – A

IGN – 9.5/10

Amazon – 4.4 stars out of 5

Toys R Us – 5 stars out of 5 (Is any game bad to them?)

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Did you know that sometime next year, also take notice and expect a Sonic 4: Episode 2 coming out? There’s gonna be a new playable sidekick (Tails, Sonic 2), a new enemy (Metal Sonic, Sonic CD), and a brand new adventure. If you’re not convinced enough, check out this pic and vid!

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What do you usually do on a New Year’s dawn?

Now, let us celebrate with a couple decent firework videos! If you want to fall asleep from beauteous light, watch these and you’ll be snoring in a jiffy. Or if you just want to see beautiful fireworks, your quest is over.

Well anyway, tell me what you’re planning for the New Year (your New Year’s resolution); I’m going back to my 2011 resolution and become a better person both to myself and others! What’s yours? Comment below, and leave a little New Year’s gift for me and subscribe, will ya? 10 subscribers. That’s all I need to be happy and fulfilled! TEN! Well, I gotta make like a hockey game and get the puck out of here! And apparently, everyone’s making use of that phrase “Haters gonna hate”. I know I’ll never use it!…

- Sam

p.s. The best New Year’s gift I could ever receive is 50,000 hits this year. So the only way to give thanks is to do it through song.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY FROM SAMMWAK!


Hey guys it’s Sam. And it’s that time of year again. The year reminiscing the day when the thirteen colonies declared independence. The day of our country, when we all share a hotdog under the fireworks, go on a celebratory trip, have a special breakfast–who am I kidding, it’s Independence Day, the 4th of July!

See, these guys have hearts. And to celebrate this celebratory day, I’m giving you a Sammwak collectible to save and boast about to your friends: a hotdog from the bottom of my heart (it’s digitally delicious)!This hotdog is representative of this awesome day, something you’d share under the fireworks, of course! To celebrate, people almost blow themselves up with awesome fireworks shows, nom every nom they can nom at picnics, ROFL as you dunk a victim at a fair, meet long-lost cousins at a family reunion, the list goes on. This federal holiday has ranked as the national day of the U.S. (take that, Flag Day) And check out some cool feats from this day in history!

1810 – The French occupy Amsterdam.

1959 – With the declaring of Alaska as the forty-ninth state earlier in the year, the 49-star U.S. flag debuts in Philadelphia.

1960 – From the post-4th of July declaration of Hawaii as the fiftieth state, our 50-star U.S. flag debuts in Philadelphia almost 10 1/2 months afterward.

1987 – In France, former Gestapo chief Klaus Barbie (funniest last name ever (^o^) is convicted of crimes against humanity and is sentenced to life in prison. :( Sad punishment for the funny-last-name man…

1997 – NASA’s Pathfinder space probe lands on Mars’s surface.

1997 (this one might not the 4th of July, but hey–it’s a 4th) – Jeanne Calment from France dies in August at 122 years and 164 days old, ranking as the oldest supercentenarian to live. Now, that’s an old grandma!

1961 – Walt Disney is one of the two major speakers in the Rebuild Hills at Denmark.

1968 – Jack Frost is born and has a menacing duel against Santa Claus–JK, he founds a heavy metal band called Seven Witches and also becomes a part of the Bronx Casket Company. Sorry, but if you wanna see duels, go watch The Santa Clause 3.

2009 – The Statue of Liberty’s crown is reopened to the public after eight years due to security reasons!! :D

So this world has a lot more behind it than you thought. And check out this cool video from FlippyCat building and collapsing an American flag out of what seems to be dominoes?

I guess this guy lives for dominoes, he got this video up to almost 1 million views since July 2009. I know, another big surprise. But for more mind-blowing domino awesomeness, FlippyCat is definitely your man. And just before the launch of his blog (sorry for the hiatus of writer’s block), Fick sent out this message on Facebrook, a site for everyone at his town in Brookfield Grove: “Happy birthday, America. What kind of cake will you eat today? My guess is that it’ll be revolutionary!” Oh, Fick. ;)

So you heard it from Sammwak: happy 4th of July to all, and to all a revolutionary week! :D

- Sam

p.s. Want another cool FlippyCat domino video? Furious feathers will fly in FlippyCat’s real-life Angry Birds walkthrough! (It’s almost at half a million views as we speak, with over 4,000 likes and 40 dislikes.)

More? This video has passed the one-million-view milestone, with over 5,000 likes and 100 dislikes. :/ Have you done your searching on Google Chrome….inos?

Like the videos? Like the post! And if you can, subscribe, rate, comment, and favorite FlippyCat for more crazy domino videos!

Happy Late Fat Tuesday!


Hi, guys. Sorry about my little hiatus/break. I’ve just been plain dumb lazy along with a Science Fair project. That’s right, fans. I’ve finally put the S of SAM back into SCIENCE.

Well, I’m a little late. But, what the hey? HAPPY FAT TUESDAY, GUYS! Ah, the great old day to celebrate fat and gaining it prior to the fasting season of Lent (you’d know that if you actually went to church), the season from Ash Wednesday to Easter. I personally did not celebrate it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if at least a quarter of you. Maybe I shouldn’t even ask and use polls:

But the real specialty of Fat Tuesday is…WHAT DID YOU EAT THAT MADE YOU FATTER? Mardi Gras isn’t Mardi Gras without the fat that makes the day special! Maybe you totally wrecked McDonald’s for a heavy burger bonanza! Or maybe there’s the possibility it was cake and donuts all day for you! Don’t bombard me with comments, bombard this poll instead:

You CAN however, comment me about YOUR Fat Tuesday, and allow me to see how epic getting fat was! Not that I’m saying you should follow like yo mama, but as a heavy, heavy apology for being gone so much, I’LL bombard YOU with NEW POSTS this weekend and week! AND WHO CAN SAY NO TO THAT?

Get ready for hilarious jokes, juicy news, and even a video game review! All that and more at Sammwak, where the 24/7 epicness BEGINS…

- Sam

P.S. BTW also HAPPY ASH WEDNESDAY?

The Birthday Post


Hey guys, it’s your favorite friend Sam again coming back to his land with a BRAND-NEW EXTREMELY SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT POST! I usually don’t have such things THIS important than Christmas or the New Year, but today and tomorrow will be life-changing days. Why? THEY’RE birthday days, of course! Didn’t you notice the title of this post? The people upgrading are people that have rocked the nation in America and out. The first big birthday person is…

Justin Bieber, the misfit singing sensation at 17. Even I didn’t know Justin’s big day was today when I first got up in the morning at 7:30, and probably didn’t care either, but the most likely eruptions are girls with  the Fever…

When a terrible mistake put baby Justin as the new generation for the Biebers, he grew up to release his debut song, “One Time”. Its music video has currently reached up to 222, 031, 295 views. That song went onto Bieber’s first-ever release, the EP My World. Next came the successful and favorable album, My World 2.0, featuring famed songs like the unforgettable collaboration with Ludacris, “Baby”, and the rather memorable tag-team work with Usher, “Somebody to Love”. “Baby” currently stands as the most viewed, discussed, and–shocker!–DISLIKED YouTube video. Justin was also “smart” enough to follow up with his debut headlining tour, the My World Tour, as well as the 2011 3D biopic-concert flick Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Speaking of which, the director’s cut of that movie is officially in theatres.

Ke$ha, another singing sensation that has decided to rock the nation with her albums. Her first one, Animal, composed several hit singles like “Tik Tok”,  “Your Love Is My Drug”, and “Take It Off”. She has also collaborated with electropop duo 30H!3 (pronounced “three-oh-three”) to make the song, “Blah Blah Blah”. That album was also re-released with a new companion EP, Cannibal, composing the hit single “We R Who We R” that’s already showing up on TV. She had usually been a background vocalist and songwriter, but HER breakthrough only came in early 2009 in Flo Rida’s number-one song, “Right Round”.

And the rather worthy birthday man of tomorrow is…

Theodore Seuss Geisel, rather known under the pen names Theo LeSeig or Rosetta Stone, maybe the unbearably familiar name, Dr. Seuss, was one of the world’s most memorable authors; also a good poet. I even remember when Nigahiga dubbed him “the best rapper.” IS HE NOT? A couple of his works have even been transformed into actual feature films and TV specials. Don’t forget the Broadway musical! Don’t forget him tomorrow in National Read Across America Day!

Another fine birthday person is Danielle Monet, the actress whom plays Tori Vega’s sister, Trina, on the currently-airing teen sitcom Victorious.

There’s lots of other birthdays for today and tomorrow, but you can find that all on Wikipedia.

- Sam

Happy Super Bowl XLV!


After a long, long time of waiting, it’s time to buy that plasma, slip on your foam finger, and root, root, root for the home team. Yes, it’s the first Sunday of February, which means the Super Bowl is up! And for all you people who don’t watch football, nor do they have tastes/interests in them, but have dads who nonetheless do (like me) the the only root, root, roots you’ll be thinking about are the roots of plants.

This Super Bowl is the forty-fifth annual edition, and the stadium will be held in Cowboys Stadium of Arlington, Texas, the largest domed stadium the world has ever known at 110,000 capacity. Christina Aguilera will apparently be singing the national anthem, and the Black Eyed Peas will take over the half-time show. Walt Anderson referees, and the game is to be broadcasted at FOX, at 6:00, announced by Troy Aikman and Joe Buck.

Now, here’s the thing that I HAVEN’T told you yet…the teams duking it out for the grand title of champion of the 2010 season. The teams are the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Green Bay Packers. The Packers are the favorite team by 2 and one half. Oh, and here’s the logo!

Some people go to Super Bowls to see the game, watch the movie previews, or just laugh at those hilarious Super Bowl commercials. For instance, here’s a funny one from Super Bowl XLII:

I’ll even put up a poll for votes cast in on who’s rooting for who:

Happy Super Bowl, football and futbol fans!

Sincerely yours,

Sam

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010 FROM SAMMWAK


Hey guys it’s Sam and I’m wishing you a happy New Year here from Sammwak! As you know, lots of people are abuzz about the ending of 2010 and the beginning of 2011! I’ll kind of look back on 2010. That year shone. It truly shone. But there’s a very special day for this blog in 2011…its first anniversary! Only the biggest brains would remember this, but my first-ever post (in fact, my first handful of posts) was released April 11, 2010! So the anniversary will take place April 11, 2011! My birthstone is an amethyst, since I was born in February. But my BLOG’S birthstone is apparently a diamond. LUCKY!!! >:( But my blog is like a child to me. It must be treated as such. I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t turn my back to Sammwak. Hey, that rhymes! I bet you can’t turn your back on anything. Except for what you dislike. But Sammwak wishes you a Happy New Year, and so do I. I care for you. I can’t turn you down. I can’t stop thinking about my viewers. And now, as my post is almost at 2,500 hits or such, I really want to thank you for the appreciation you’ve given me for almost half this year. Without you, Sammwak would’ve never been created in the first place. And before this turns into a mind-numbing emotional speech that could take you a day to finish (or, the MNESTCTYADTF as an acronym), I shall close this post.

Happy new year,

Sam

 

HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY


Hey guys it’s Sam. Sorry I haven’t been putting up new posts lately, ugh, my computer does not have Internet >:( So I have to borrow my sister’s MacBook Pro to make this post for you!

As you can see of the title, I’m wishing you all a happy Black Friday here from Sammwak. Even I didn’t know what Black Friday was at first. But Wikipedia had them answers :D

Turns out Black Friday is the day right after Thanksgiving in which apparently people shop…HARD. The “Black” comes from the period when retailers turn profits, aka “in the black.” :DDDD

Anyways, my sisters (Tumpale and Eneke) already hit Forever 21. Me? What, you think I shop?

But anyways, when this day ends, like, tell me how your Black Friday was! I don’t rly care if u shopped or not. All that matters is that it’s Black Friday. Gots it?

Okay, I gots to go. But happy Black Friday errbody :D

- Sam

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM SAMMWAK


That’s right everybody. Hey it’s Sam and guess what today is? October 31! And that means it’s HALLOWEEN! Carve your pumpkins, throw on your costumes, and tell some good ghost stories, because that’s what Halloween’s all about. And wikiHow has a good explanation on how to celebrate Halloween: http://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Halloween

And also, here are some freaky facts:

Not only is Halloween, celebrated in the U.S. and Canada, but it is also celebrated in the U.K. and Ireland.

A common Halloween culture is trick-or-treating, the process of traveling house to house asking for candy. In case none of you know, the “trick” of trick-or-treating is a mischievous threat on the homeowner of their property, usually idle.

Apple bobbing, in Scotland, is called “dooking”.

Candy corn was created in the 1880s by the Wunderlee Candy Company.

Halloween and its common traditions derive from the Old English era.

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM SAMMWAK

My “Birthday” Presents


Hey guyz it’s Sam and guess wut? It’s my (by far) BELATED birthday! Well, actually, it was Tumpale’s 16th legitimate birthday, but I got some gifts as well.

It was just at our church (St. Michael Lutheran) at a thanksgiving service. We had eaten, I tried on my new converses…

But I realized what we were practically here for….Tumpale’s b-day! Her first birthday gift was embarrassing…it was BIKINIS. That’s right. A whole pack of bikinis. Embarrassing, right? My first gift was AS embarrassing…a 10-count package of boxer briefs.

Thx Dad. Rly. Thx. xD

But after that, these presents starting going uphill. To my surprise, shock, and pure jealousy, Tumpale’s first “GOOD” gift was…an iPod TOUCH!!!

So so jealous. >:(

But MY good gift was so unbelievable, I screamed for joy. It was better than even the most epic pair of converses. It’s better than hi-top heels…

…it was Super Street Fighter IV and Skate 3 for my 360!!!

Man, Auntie Violet really DOES know my taste in gaming, does she not? :D

So, Tumpale, have fun with your iPod Touch, and I’m going to have fun with my video games soon.

L8trs, Sam

Happy Tree Friends


Hey guys it’s Sam and I like watching Flash cartoons. But NEVER in my life have I seen a Flash cartoon like Happy Tree Friends.

Just from taking a look at the title card, you may imagine Happy Tree Friends to be a nice, kid-friendly Flash cartoon that would score around a TV-Y up to TV-Y7. YOU ARE WRONG. This cartoon is Saw, animated.

I’m not yanking your leg around here. That thing is not black comedy; that is what we call Friday the 13th without Jason. I saw that a WHILE ago, when my friend Enoch Kigwila (ee-nok kee-gwee-luh) even introduced it to me. That show would rather hit a direct TV-MA with a capital V for violence on Adult Swim, rather than a kid-appropriate TV-Y7 that could make it somewhat on Nick. That thing…ugh…that thing.

Well, I won’t be showing you any pictures, because they’re too gory. But if you’re brave enough to see red, search up ‘happy tree friends’ on Google Images, and let the screaming begin. Because I told you, this cartoon is animated Saw.

So, if you’ve got a history of seeing horror films, and you’re brave enough to get over such grisly and gruesome features, well, search it up on YouTube. And let the bloodbath begin.

Also, they actually made a VIDEO GAME out of this.

What? U think I’d play some stuff like that?

But, if you see this series, your brain will be racked with terrifying nightmares from this day on. You have been warned, dude. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…

So that’s rly all I wanted 2 say. Thx for reading, please like it and give it some thumbs. d^_^b

And also, subscribe, because I haven’t read my subscriptions yet, and I hope I see you on my list!

L8trs!

-Sam

Oh and p.s. I checked at my stats and I saw that we got almost 760 hits in! Impressive, guys. Keep it up to 800! :D