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Define the word wimp. As a noun, it is “a weak and cowardly or unadventurous person.” I guess that’s how some people may describe Greg Heffley, known to fans as “the Wimpy Kid” of Jeff Kinney’s national bestselling saga, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It first got its start on Funbrain as an original story that was read over twenty million times when it released in 2004. From thence, Kinney decided to make the jump from online to on paper, and he has been a cult for kids since. Plus, he’s doing so good, he’s released 5 other titles, and even a few movies. Now, let’s repeat that: “even a few movies”. The most recent wimpy kid flick came out around St. Patty’s 2011 (the sequel, Rodrick Rules), and from the success of that movie comes the series’ threequel due this summer, and from the looks of it, this is gonna be the best entry yet.

Yep, this trailer just uploaded in April, and it’s already got…not even 20,000 hits. Don’t be fooled by the fact that the new movie’s called Dog Days. No, we didn’t all “skip a movie”. This will interpret features from both The Last Straw and Dog Days. This movie shares most of its storyline with the fourth book: school’s out and Greg’s starting to plan for the summer, when all his plans go awry, leaving him with one question: What on earth is he gonna do for three months? Up the antes in unintended gut-busting humor, that’s what. And yes, Sweetie the dog is going to be in it. This looks like a movie I’d undoubtedly want to see this summer, and hopefully my excitement won’t go up in steam once this movie hits the cinemas. If there were a few differences I spotted in this, it’d be 1) Greg’s voice changed!!!, and 2) Sweetie’s gonna be back. Cool story, bro. And for possibly the first time, Heather Hills, Holly’s older sister, is gonna be in the movie. She will be portrayed by Melissa Roxburgh, whom you probably don’t know. The movie’s filming was in Vancouver (much like the two previous films), from August to October 2011, and it will officially be PG according to Box Office Mojo, citing “some rude humor”. And hopefully it will sell well and continue the series’ multi-million-selling streak, with a combination of $116 million of lifetime gross revenue. Oh, did I forget to show you the teaser poster?

Make sure to mark your calendars for August 3, 2012, because on that very day, something wimpy is going down. Well, that’s all for this week, but make sure to subscribe, like, rate, comment, and reblog often! Same thing @ 2Sam2Mwak!

- Sam

p.s. Can you feel the love? Greg can in this year’s untitled & upcoming seventh Wimpy Kid title. As the tagline of the announcement poster is “Love is in the air”, we can assume that this ranges around Valentine’s Day. Despite this, the book’s due to come this Thanksgiving, so mark your calendars for that too.

p.p.s. Would You Rather o’ the Week: Would you rather be shot by an arrow from Cupid, or be shot by an arrow from an underwear-wearing Greg with fake wings plastered on his back, so it’s more like he’s trying to kill you than get you lovestruck?

p.p.s.s. Random Video o’ the Week: Some people are very intimate with the kinds of musical YouTube videos they watch, and they usually tire quickly of the usual. But luckily through remixing tech, they can shut their pieholes with the amount of enjoyment they’ll receive. But they can only admire the highest levels of remixes. And on this note, that level belongs to Fagottron, more famously known as Pogo. This video just came out this January, and it’s already past 3 million hits due to how good it is. This is so darn good, I’ll have to bury a YouTube treasure to dig up in the future for this! (Check out this guy’s channel for more sweet remixes, and please do like this post for a very worthy suggestion. C’mon, you know you want to, do it for ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGA!)



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I have some super juicy news to tell you. News that’ll make your day. News that’ll turn your life upside down. News that’ll…ah, you get the point. If you’re a fan of Scholastic-published graphic novel sagas like Magic Pickle or Knights of the Lunch Table, you’ve probably heard about Bone, the big boss of them all. Created by Jeff Smith in 1991 and alive until 2004 (with re-colored re-releases going from 2005 to 2009), and despite the fact that it lasted for only nine books, Bone is still a great ripple into the lake of Scholastic graphic novels, and it’s also a ten-time Eisner Award winner (like Oscars, but for comics). And you know how books get turned into movies way too frequently (Ramona and BeezusCharlotte’s WebJudy Moody, etc.)? Same thing’s happening to Bone, and brother/sister, my—and maybe your—dreams have been answered.

U like? Those were self-made Bone movie posters, son. And while the template for actual posters is to be determined (although you could consider mine, you have 100% permission, but give me credit and 5% of the total gross), the concept for a Bone movie has literally been around since the 90s, when Bone was just reaching its heyday. Back then, Nick Movies was the first to develop the idea and take action, but the rights were just recently claimed by Warner Bros. in ’08 (which explains the “a WARNER BROS production” label on my posters). And now, the studio’s finally moving forward with their great idea. Patrick Sean Smith, the man who created the recently-ended ABC Family show Greek, has been officially hired to adapt the script for P.J. Hogan (Muriel’s WeddingMy Best Friend’s Wedding, and 2003’s Peter Pan). If you don’t already know the story that has captivated millions, here it is: three Bone cousins, Fone, Phoney (real name: Phoncible), and Smiley have been exiled from their hometown of Boneville. Therefore, they embark in a series of wild fantasy adventures including rat creatures, “stick-eaters”, and a creepy hooded guy known and feared through the village as “the Hooded One” (basically, he’s Voldemort, Bone edition).

Although the format of the movie hasn’t been confirmed (if it isn’t animated like I want it to be.. >:-/), Mr. Hogan will be directing the movie at Animal Logic, home of animated movies like Happy Feet and Happy Feet 2and The Guardians of Ga’Hoole. This will most likely make the discussion come to a final conclusion that Bone will be a CGI animated film like I want it to be. The catch is, Animal Logic is an Australian company. So you know what that means—either Bone: The Movie will simply be Australian-American, or Bone is going to be a foreign movie. And if it’s gonna be a foreign movie, then that’s at least a month of my life wasted on anticipation. If you want to know how I want Bone to be structured, then here you go:

THE WAY I WANT BONE: THE MOVIE TO BE MADE

  1. Start off your first movie built after the first book, so it would be literally called Bone: Out from Boneville. If that does good (or if you simply want to, because Resident Evil‘s been going down critically but going up financially), then keep making movies until you make one for all 9 books. It’s hard trying to cram everything into one movie, and the Bone faithful will be really disappointed if their favorite series is only interpreted in one movie.
  2. Make the movie as kid-friendly as the first Harry Potter movieit wasn’t! That movie had giant trolls, 3-headed dogs, ghosts, and other crazy stuff. (It’s an astonishment that Harry Potter had PG ratings for the first 3 movies, including the 6th one later on.) Not that I’m saying that any of that was in the first Bone book, but you know what I mean. Have your fair share of kiddie and also non-kiddie in the movie, because if you take it too far, the makers will set the movie up for a PG-13 rating. And that’s a real bummer in the summer, because most of the Bone faithful I know are preteens. With every proceeding movie, make the series take more darker turns until literally, the MPAA has to give it a PG-13 rating. At least do what director Mike Newell did: save all the intensity for the fourth movie.
  3. If you’re gonna make the movie CGI, at least give it some good CGI visuals. The last thing I want is for Bone to end up looking like this when it hits the big screen:

Make the visuals rope the person in, because that’s how people usually want to watch movies/play video games/watch TV shows, or else the concept of Bone: The Movie will be a bust before it even releases. Don’t make the entire movie make viewers assume it was brought to us using 3DS Max, Maya (pronounced mie-yuh), Photoshop, and After Effects. Well…

4. Make voice acting reasonable. Thankfully I haven’t heard much of the three lead Bone stars being portrayed by the voices of child actors. Make the voicing reasonably acceptable, because this is what my brother told me: if you can’t make chemistry with the main character, it’s guaranteed that you’re not gonna like the entire work, because people focus the most on the main character. Mass Effect wouldn’t be the same without Commander Shepard, nor would Double Dragon be the same without Billy and Jimmy Lee. And for this, all I have to say is: don’t make the voicing annoying, but just a little grating, perhaps. Not like I’ve worked in film…unless you count school plays as film.

5. Stay true to what’s in the book. I know, this probably should’ve been #1, but hey. If you’re not gonna stick to what’s in the book, then you might as well scrap the idea of a Bone movie right now. Film adaptations are executed solely for sticking to what’s in the book. The movie Bridge to Terabithia gave us everything from the book, but in movie form. That’s actually bad, because you might as well leave some free space for audiences to find surprises and/or discoveries that they didn’t read in the book. This was the problem with about the 1st and 2nd Potter movies, simply said. You don’t want too much surprises, nor do you want too little. You want the perfect amount of discoveries while still staying truthful to the Bone tale.

6. Make sure you’ve even read the darn book yourself. No explanation necessary here.

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Well, that’s all for now. I gotta go get some shut-eye, or whatever people call sleeping these days. But before you go, one last question: Are you excited for this entire plan at all?



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I don’t have time to watch a lot of movies on my own time, but I do watch a lot of movies as a class. And one of those was what our class finished in—what seems to be a questionable spot—Spanish class. So yes, the movie was in Spanish, but with English subtitles. And this is a movie I honestly question sometimes about the horrible cases of negativity it received (but then again, the director’s past movies have apparently been bad as well). It’s a rather “true blue” movie that splits two worlds conjoined by one adventure…this movie is The Smurfs, or Los Pitufos in Spanish.

The amount of blue in this movie is simply unbearable.

You may know The Smurfs (based off of the Belgian comic series of the same name, alongside its eponymous TV show) as the competition against Cowboys vs. Aliens, both of the movies releasing on the same day. You might remember how the true blue flick lost by just $0.8 million! You might remember how critics and audiences had different perspectives of the movie in negative and positive ways. But we’re here to learn about what had to say about it. Let’s start off with the story: Papa, Grouchy, Brainy, Clumsy, Gutsy, and Smurfette end up, in a pursuit from evil wizard Gargamel and also via vortex technology, in the human world (more specifically, the Big Apple) apart from their rightful Smurf home. They then must find a way to get back home while still avoiding Gargamel and they run into humans in the process. These humans are Patrick and Grace Winslow, a husband-and-wife couple with a basset hound named Elway. These two merge and learn the benefits of teamwork, leadership, and bravery on the Smurfs’ wild adventure.

The movie actually wasn’t half bad. I don’t know why critics had their usual lip to set on the movie, since it was polar opposite of what it critically received. The movie was inspiring, adventurous (you know I love a good cliffhanger and hero-gets-tortured and beat-up-the-bad-guy scene), epic, and actually quite funny. To add into that, the movie was also full of great messages like leadership and teamwork and putting others first. And for a movie about a bunch of three-apples-high little blue dwarfs running around the NYC looking like obnoxious Na’vi offspring dwarfs (no offense), that’s saying something.

 1 3/4 out of 5 – Educational value –  The movie is meant for amusement only, but the Smurfs do teach kids about teamwork, while Papa Smurf and the Winslows teach about the importance of putting family first.

 3 out of 5 – Positive messages – The Smurfs offer positive messages about cooperation, teamwork, and family togetherness. Clumsy Smurf’s transformation into a fearless hero in the end (spoiler alert) is a great lesson that none of us is just “one thing,” even if that’s what we’re most known for by our friends and family.

2 1/2 out of 5 – Positive role models – Grace is kind and helpful, even though the Smurfs frighten her at first. Papa always thinks of his fellow Smurfs first, and then himself. The other Smurfs are optimistic and sweet, and Patrick even learns fatherly duties from Papa Smurf.

3 3/4 out of 5 – Ease of view – The Smurfs is a great movie that teaches kids about what it feels like to work as a team and put others before you, although not all the spots of the movie are bright ones. Despite getting the critical hammer lowered on it, and despite losing a rather fierce competition, The Smurfs is a cleverly plotted flick that mixes humor, adventure, and good messages all in one great combo.

4 out of 5 – Violence – Gallons of pratfall and cartoonish violence, but it does get more serious in the clutches of Gargamel, the film’s villain who is always trying to capture the Smurfs. Gargamel’s cat Azrael almost always gets thrown into danger’s path, with his master asking “Are you dead?” to see if he made it. The Smurfs and Gargamel end up in a cat-and-mouse pursuing in a shop, and they  find each other once more in the climax’s epic battle which results in some injuries, but blood and/or death is out of the question. Azrael coughs up a clump of Smurfette’s hair in a graphic style that may disturb some viewers. Papa Smurf “takes one for the team” and stays behind to be captured by Gargamel and have “essence” extracted from him in a rather torturous scene. Gargamel also uses wand magic to capture Smurfs and flash a spell into the sky Voldemort-style. He also gets hit by a bus, but does not die. A sequence that might frighten the very young occurs in which Gargamel terrorizes Smurf Village and destroys many upon many of Smurf homes. A vision predicts that Clumsy will mess everything up by failing to catch a wand.

 1 3/4 out of 5 – Inappropriate Content – The Winslows show affection—holding hands, embracing, and finally kissing (twice)—in short-and-sweet manners. Smurfette stands over a subway grate Marilyn Manson-style, but her “brothers” are more interested in the breeze, one even flashing his butt as an “enchanted forest.” One Smurf flashes his boxers before jumping into the portal back home. Grace is pregnant.

2 out of 5 - Language – The word “smurf” is used frequently as a substitute for many other words (like how Finn and Jake use this same formula for the word “math”), the results including “Smurf off”, “You smurfin’ crossed the wrong smurf”, and “Smurf me”, among other clean words like “smurfabunga” and “hypersmurfilating”. Real live words that rank on the colorful-language list include “oh my God” and briefly “d-mn”.

3 1/2 out of 5 – Product Placement – It’s not a surprise that the consumerism levels are literally flowing through the roofs, with appearances like the Blue Man Group, NBC’s Community (it’s true), Samsung Blu-Ray, Apple Inc., M&M’s, Aerosmith Guitar Hero, CBGB, Bluetooths, FAO Schwarz, ALEX toys, Madame Alexander dolls, and references to Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” (which is coincidental due to the fact that Katy provides the voice of Smurfette) and Braveheart.

0 out of 5 – Drinking, Drugs, and/or Smoking – This aspect is not featured.

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Smarts: B+ (3.5 points)

See-Again Ratio: A- (4 points)

Fun: A (4 points)

Entertainment: A (4 points)

Humor: A (4 points)

Style: B (3 points)

FINAL SCORE: 26.5 out of 30 (I did not see that coming), 3 stars out of 5, 77% out of 100%

CONSENSUS: It may not shine as brightly as advertised, but The Smurfs is a diverse movie with the humor, adventure, and positive messages to make it worthwhile, but it honestly can’t be saved from its sometimes blunt expectations.

PRICE: You sure you wanna go all true and all blue? See what I did there, I made the word blue. Anyway, The Smurfs costs $20 with a 44% savings addition. Too outrageous for you? $8.50 is the narrowed-down new price, while $7 is the used price. Take your pick, and if you can’t, go to Blockbuster where you can buy the movie new for $24, or have it for a solid 7 days with the weekly rental price of $5. And if you can’t accept that, well…I don’t think you can trust me anymore, can you?

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Like, rate, comment, and sing that Smurf song to the subscribe button until it explodes of annoyance overload! And stay tuned for more awesome stuff on Sammwak! Can you believe it? It’s already Valentine’s Day! <3 Sorry for a little late delay, but you know what that meant: more awesomeness!

- Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam, and my birthday is now just four days away. Can I get some applause?********Thank you. Now, it’s time for another time to dig up a fresh YouTube treasure, mateys! Our last treasure took place 2 weeks ago in a rather dorkly series of events, so it should be time to dig up another one, right? A lot of people make a lot of stick figure videos on YouTube (even I was originally capable of doing so, but I was underage at the time), and with a lucky run, they go viral. And by viral, I mean at least 10 million views apiece. I know a lot of stick figure videos out there aren’t at milestones this high (but are still hoping to do so), but there’s only one person I know who has done so. His name is , and whether you’ve heard of his “ASDF (pronounced as-duff) Movie” series or not, he’s a pretty funny guy, and I’ve got proof.

Rated E10+ for ages 10 and up for violence including blood, fire, explosions, guns, and slapstick, mild/suggestive language, and strong humor.

There’s also one other video I wanted to show you, the video that gave this post its clever name. This video is the only known TomSka stick-figure video that hasn’t reached a minimum of 10 million hits yet, but I’m not criticizing Tom or any of his fans. If you’ve seen all the videos, you’ve most likely seen a recurring gag: a kid that stares at the camera and says “I like trains.” before being hit by a train. Well, guess what? He got his own video! Known as the “I Like Trains Kid”, the next video is a song about the story of our famous recurring gag, and it’s surpassed 7.5 million hits since September 2011.

Rated E10+ for ages 10 and up for blood, mild violence including trains, and severe humor.

(If you see this, comment “I like trains” in the section below.)

Like what you saw from this post? Go and subscribe to TomSka’s channel and check out more of his stuff! (By the way, all the ASDF Movie installments like “asdfmovie5“, for example, are all fakes. TomSka hasn’t released a fifth ASDFMovie video yet, but in the future, just cross your fingers and hope he will. ) And also like, rate, and comment to our little channels as well, and make sure to hit that subscribe button good, just jump kick it in the face. Come back next Monday for some new awesomeness when I’m now an age older!

- Sam



WARNING! Before proceeding any further on this post, please note that it contains recklessly speckled spoilers, so this post is labeled with a “SPOILER ALERT” seal. Proceed with known caution. And if we spoiled the movie for you, we are 0% responsible.

Hey guys it’s Sam, back with a review about not books, or games, but movies! If you’ve seen that I haven’t been releasing much movie reviews lately, raise your hand. ************* I bet everyone in the room just raised their hands. Anyway, I’m going to review a Disney classic that I’m lucky I got off of my “movies I’m embarrassed I haven’t seen yet” list. Why was the 20th century just that one collection of 100 years to start whipping up Disney classics? Snow White, Pinocchio, the list is just too big to name! Could this be a pick worth your popcorn? Let’s find out. Is it Beauty and the Beast? Nope. Peter Pan? No, not that classic. Cinderella? That’s just gross. Who couldn’t have guessed Pocahontas?

“If you kill him, you’ll have to kill me, too.”

- Pocahontas stands between her father and her true love.

Pocahontas was that super-old movie that became the first Disney movie to star a real historical character, Chief Powhatan’s daughter, Pocahontas, as well as the thirty-third Walt Disney Animated Classic. This movie was a 1995 flick that actually mixed true olden facts with humor, romance, and even sorrow. But hey—history was full of hard times. This movie was about indeed Chief Powhatan’s daughter, Pocahontas who has been sentenced to marriage with the “extremely serious” Kocoum. She then finds love for the Englishman John Smith soon after he saves a young man’s life from a watery grave, who turns out to be from the people the Indians plan to attack. So it’s sort of like a Gnomeo and Juliet story. Or Alpha and Omega. This love gets accompanied by the hilarious acts of Percy the dog, Meeko the raccoon, and Flit the hummingbird. Seriously. My hats go off to these Three Stooges.

It’s a guilty pleasure kind of movie, since things slow down a bit throughout the movie. People break into song at unnecessary times without warning, the scene where Pocahontas talks with Grandmother “Tree Monster” Willow drags by unnecessarily, etc. etc. etc. Make sense? But still, it does teach you about Pocahontas, John Smith, and just how funny a menagerie of three completely different animals can make me laugh my shoes off. Pocahontas is pretty much a 81-minute social studies lesson. And what’s better? A soundtrack’s worth of amazing music, almost 30 tracks? Don’t mind if I do, folks!

 2 3/4 out of 5 – Educational value –  Some facts may be tattered over time and time again, but at least the movie gives a clear image of Pocahontas and John Smith, although they really did not find each other…it’s what was told in my social studies book. Historically inaccurate, yes. A clear telling of different stories, yes.

 2 out of 5 – Positive messages – Pocahontas has divine messages that educate John about the use of the word “savage”, assuming that Pocahontas’s people live simply for a lack of sophistication, when they really use communication in far more advance that John’s colleagues. The youngest of viewers might be confused with messages like, “A man is not a man unless he knows how to shoot.”

2 1/2 out of 5 – Positive role models – Pocahontas is considered a headstrong daughter to her father, Chief Powhatan. He takes her words very seriously upon decisions, and the British leadership is not as kind or thoughtful.

3 out of 5 – Ease of view – Pocahontas is a good movie that suffers bland tempo decrease from time to time, with a hugely boring outcome once the credits roll. Good award-winning music? Yes. Romantically heartbreaking? Yes. All flash, no substance? Yessiree!

3 1/4 out of 5 – Violence – Two Native Americans get shot, one actually killed. Pocahontas’s father nearly kills John at the edge of a cliff if it hadn’t been for his daughter’s quick rescue. Much of the plot is about two warring sides: the British and the Indian natives. Expect to see sharpened and brandished knives, swords, muskets, and shootouts. There is one perilous scene with a ship on a stormy ocean where a man almost drowns. A song sang by the British ranting against savages, using phrases like “Their skin’s a hellish red”, “Dirty shrieking devils”, and “Killers at the core” will probably terrify younger audiences, and even audiences like me.

 2 out of 5 – Inappropriate Content – Pocahontas and John share the main love of the movie, always taking time to look into each other’s eyes. The two even share passionate but steamy make-outs…twice! Another mature aspect is that the Pocahontas-John pair is quickly intimate with their body language.

1 out of 5 - Language – Lots of mean phrases like “dirty savages” and “filthy heathens” that are as mean as they get. The phrase “hellish” appears in one of the verses of “Savages” (“their skin’s a hellish red”), which somewhat says that H-E-double hockey sticks is a bad word.

3 1/2 out of 5 – Product Placement – Pocahontas is now the seventh-announced Disney Princess, whose brand reaches tall and wide. Expect to see branding on consumer’s merch, food, books, sites, and other media.

1 out of 5 – Drinking, Drugs, and/or Smoking – A ship scene features men filling their mugs with uncorked wine from a keg.

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Smarts: B- (3 points)

See-Again Ratio: B+ (3.5 points)

Fun: B+ (3.5 points)

Entertainment: A- (4 points)

Humor: A (4 points)

Style: A- (3.5 points)

FINAL SCORE: 21.5 out of 30 (ouch?), 3 stars out of 5, 70% out of 100%

CONSENSUS: It’s a beautiful story followed by impressive voice acting and realistic emotion, and it deserves its right as a Walt Disney Animated Classic, but Pocahontas takes way too long to progress from sequence to sequence, and that’s when the blandness begins to pour in…

RENT, BUY, OR SKIP?: Rent it. Please. If you’re probably 5 years old, you could skip this off the griddle. If you’re mature enough to maintain this violence, buy it for your own good. It’s a bit of everything, with different opinions.

PRICE: If you’re really willing to take the hit, Amazon sells the tenth-anniversary edition for an astounding 31 dollars. But hey—at least I didn’t fork over that huge $79 price. Some Instant Click method Amazon has sells the regular edition for a quick $15. The golden classic collection sells for 83 freaking dollars! But its used price of $30 doesn’t really improve things much. Blockbuster sells it for a weekly rental of $5.00. Pick your price and stay with it.

IS THIS A PICK WORTH YOUR POPCORN?: That’s the question you may have all been dying to hear the answer of. My answer is sorta, because it’s a great movie and all, but it’s terribly slow and bland, is its problem. Definitely a yes to those three animals, however.

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Well, that’s all for a Monday of Sammwak-ness! Come back next Monday for another sweet-as-sugar post here on Sammwak! And come back the Monday after that for our “2nd” annual Christmas special! Don’t miss it, or I’ll miss you when we celebrate hardcore!

Your friend,

Sam

p.s. Here’s our question of the day: These creepy things called Animorphs invented by a crazy lady from right here in Michigan named K.A. Applegate are now my most feared behemoths. What scares you the most? Respond in your comment below!



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I’ve decided to host an award show. You’re probably rolling on the floor laughing out loud (ROTFLOL), asking yourself, “How can this little kid host such a big show?” Well, it’s your votes that count, and the nominee with the most votes wins a nice Sammwak Award!

The first category, churned out in bed just past 11:00, is the best animated movie. And your nominees are…

Don’t tango with Rango. Gore Verbinski’s spaghetti Western comedy follows the chameleon Rango as he stumbles off his owner’s car and into the lawless Old Western town of Dirt. He carries zeal to become the new sheriff and the first good guy upon Dirt’s graveyard full of them. It just came out on DVD and Blu-Ray, it had its debut release on March 4 by Paramount, almost 2 weeks before St. Patrick’s Day. And good luck it did get with nonstop critical praise, and a #2 rank on Charter On Demand. Can Rango tango down with a nice golden Sammwak Award?

Feeling despicable? The director’s team of Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud was too, so they drank from a rusty bucket of water, and thus created Despicable Me. Universal Pictures is behind this 3D adventure, as Gru, the second-most evil super villain (behind Vector, the villain with magnitude) inherits three orphaned girls as pawns for his crime of the century…stealing the moon. But he finds out that their love for him is profoundly changing him, much to his partner’s (Dr. Nefario) dismay. He’s stuck with the decision between staying super bad, or becoming a super dad. What’s really super is how much success it got, critical and in the box office. Coughing up more than $530 million, as well as 2011 KCA, can Gru get the final inspiration to finish that shrink ray with a shiny golden Sammwak Award?

This is the final challenge. The biggest of all. This is the movie that beat out Rango as the #1 title on Charter On Demand. It is…Rio. We haven’t had much animal comedies with much music, but 20th Century Fox brought back what we needed for sure. The movie tells the story of the blue macaw Blu, shipped to Rio de Janeiro to mate with a female. That female does turn out to be the bird of his dreams, Jewel. This mating duo works together to escape from the smuggling clutches of the cockatoo Nigel. But you know what they couldn’t escape…success. It was a bomb that blew up so far, they needed to make an app with the Angry Birds! (the chronological third, behind Seasons and the original) But can it fly far enough to catch a Sammwak Award on its path?

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Those are your three choices of the best animated movie. Vote, vote, vote, and whoever gets the most votes wins a Sammwak Award! Start voting…now!

- Sam

p.s. Toy Story 3 is also a nominee, but the stupid Poll-daddy mechanics wouldn’t let me in on a fourth pick. You can also vote for TS3 if you want, as well as others you enjoy. Just a clarification.



Nope, you don’t have cataracts. You’re not reading that wrong. The Muppets are really back to the theaters after over a decade (that’s ten years for you people who aren’t Harmonix), and it is as star-studded as a Muppet movie can be! The lady behind Enchanted‘s Giselle (Amy Adams), and the man behind the villain who fought against Gru with magnitude (Jason Segel), together as a couple? Your wish is granted! Chris Cooper, head of The Bourne Identity‘s “Operation Treadstone”, as a bad guy? Well, I guess your beg is answered! Flight of the Conchords star, James Bobin, at the director’s hand?…Do bananas peel?

This Thanksgiving, there’s a reason to be thankful for The Muppets. Another distribution at the hand of Walt Disney Pictures, not only with there be action, heroism, driving, and adventure, but as well as four new musical numbers, plus your favorites, “The Rainbow Connection” and “Mah Nà Mah Nà”! Here’s the info: Oil has been found under the Muppet theater, and oilman Tex Richman (Cooper) plans to bring the theater to demolition to drill. Meanwhile, Walter, the Muppets’ biggest worldwide fan, and friends Gary (Segel) and Mary (Adams) learn about Richman’s plan, and propose an idea to stop Tex: The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever to raise a necessary $10 million to save the theater. But in order to stage the telethon, the three need to convince Kermit to reunite the Muppets who have parted ways. Want to know how they turned out? Fozzie the Bear is now a performer with the Moopets, a Reno casino tribute band, Miss Piggy has become a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris–don’t get me wrong on this one–Animal has rather obviously become an anger management clinic (surprised? :D), and Gonzo a powerful plumbing magnate.

While the main human cast only stars Segel, Adams, and Cooper (excluding Rashida Jones as a network executive), the cast beyond is unbelievably colossal. Besides the Muppets, the cameos add up to a number bigger than the amount of licks it takes to finish a Tootsie Pop! Stars include Jack Black, Selena Gomez, Donald Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Stiller, and Zach Galifianakis!! An official MPAA rating is unknown, but it will most likely be PG or G…

So there’s something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, as the film releases November 23. Smartly, the makers whipped up a fake romantic comedy poster for The Muppets called Green with Envy, coincidentally with the film’s release date.

Speaking of fake, the makers made two parody film trailers starring The Muppets, Being Green (Green Lantern) and The Fuzzy Pack (The Hangover Part II).

So, this is a goodbye from Sammwak, and remember that it’s not ALL about the turkey and the stuffing! ;)

- Sam

p.s. Here are some film facts: Did you know that the concept of the movie rose at as early as 2008? The film’s working title was The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time, with different same star-studded cameos. And it’s too bad for the UK: the movie has to release in 2012 for them…on my birthday! :D Kermit the Frog himself went to the POTC: On Stranger Tides premiere at Disneyland to promote his movie…now that’s what I call marketing! You’re probably saying “Pics or it didn’t happen”, huh? Well, they have a whole video that collected a measly 35,000 views…?



Hey guys, it’s Sam again. Yes, it is the start of July today, a very patriotic month on the face of the country! And not only is July the month of America and independence, it’s also the month of everything Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Everyone’s waiting for the big finale of the worldwide phenomenon, where it all ends. Not only is the epic fantasy itself releasing on July 15…

But its accompanying video game (again, by EA) and soundtrack (again, composed by the French film composer Alexandre Desplat) are releasing the same month…surprisingly, the same day on July 12, just three days before the big opening. The game has received a rating of E10+ for fantasy violence, or, if you’re talking about the Nintendo DS version, mild fantasy violence.

Harry Potter and the Death…eh, you can read, you know what’s it called. This game continues Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s search to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes that gave Lord Voldemort immortality, and it all leads up to Harry and Voldemort’s final battle, sort of like the final Transformers. Still a third-person action adventure, this game isn’t entirely just a carbon copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, to address complaints from Part 1. The game will use cut-scenes to progress linearly, but without side missions like Part 1. This game’s combat involves button pressing which casts spells as attacks. Three face buttons, usually with either a symbol or a letter, and the second spell of a button can be activated if pressed twice. And if you’ve seen past movies, you’ve heard of Apparition. As a use of defense teleporting in and out of battle, Apparating is now a part of Part 2. With an over-the-shoulder view, you can control several characters including Harry, Ron, Hermione, Professor McGonagall, Neville, Ginny, and more.

HP7 Part 2 (that felt a lot better :D), the soundtrack to the movie of the same name, is composed, as I said, by the returning Alexandre Desplat (responsible for music for movies like Fantastic Mr. Fox, Twilight: New Moon, and The King’s Speech). The release date was announced by Amazon on 7/12/2011. Speaking of Amazon, they’re allowing pre-orders of the soundtrack, priced at just $12! ;) Warner Bros.’s website confirmed Alexandre’s return to compose Part 2. Desplat himself said scoring was a “great challenge” and that he has “a lot of expectations to fulfill” ahead of him. The soundtrack composes of twenty-five songs, from “Lily’s Theme” to “A New Beginning”. The longest song is “Severus and Lily” at 6 minutes. “The Tunnel”, at almost 1:10, ranks as the shortest.

So, do you know what you’re going to be casting…er, craving…this July? :D ;)

Later, from Sammwak. And now, I shall Apparate away! d(^_^)b



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I probably know one thing on your mind: “What movie am I going to watch for the summer?” For some, you might be interested in the DC Comics superhero movie Green Lantern. Alien invasion junkies might be satisfied in the Spielberg summer flick Super 8. For fans of children’s literature film adaptations, you might keep your eyes peeled for Jim Carrey’s new comedy Mr. Popper’s Penguins. But for fans of famed Disney animated comedies, Cars 2 is the one for you. Some July movies are Winnie the Pooh, the second half of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the third and final of the Transformers series (another Spielberg flick), and the Weird Western sci-fi Cowboys & Aliens. But the one I’d like to talk about is a children’s literature film adaptation. One of America’s most beloved book series. All I say is…it’s super RARE!

That’s right. It’s coming, people. Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer is what you’ll watch for the summer. Picking up where Megan McDonald’s Judy Moody series leaves off, with the moodiest third-grader heroine planning a super-duper-double-rare vacation with friends Rocky and Amy. But here’s the thing–Rocky has left to circus camp to learn to become a lion-tamer, and Amy has headed to Borneo to save a lost tribe with her mom. Even her own parents also take a trip—to California, leaving Judy behind with Stink, her never-met-before Aunt Opal, and her 2nd-best paste-eating friend, Frank Pearl. It looks like Judy’s best summer has taken the road to the worst. Will the feisty, frisky and moody Judy avail her summer (with some unexpected sources)? Or will it really be a bummer?

Like I said, Jordana Beatty tackles the lead role as the titular Judy Moody. Parris Mosteller is Judy’s brother Stink, and Heather Graham (from The Hangover and Bowfinger) as the never-met-before Aunt Opal. Janet Varney (Psych, Dante’s Inferno) casts as Mrs. Moody, and Jaleel White (Family Matters) as teacher Mr. Todd. 10-year old Preston Bailey is the paste-eating Frank Pearl, and Ashley Boettcher as Jessica Finch. Check out this DOUBLE-SUPER-EPIC-TOTALLY-MEDIUM RARE trailer:

A treat from Relativity Media and Smokewood Entertainment, the moodiest movie of all is due to release June 10. Get those tickets, raid those snacks, and hit some good seats!

Yours truly,

Samuel M. ;)



Hey guys it’s Sam and do you remember last year’s good-old surprise hit, the family comedy Diary of a Wimpy Kid?

Yeah, everyone loved such potty humor. Although it garnered mixed reviews (a 53% on Rotten Tomatoes, a critical B- on Yahoo Movies), I guess it was a great success. And–even better–they decided to make a SEQUEL to that movie. And–even better news–it’s already out. That’s right, wimpy fans. Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules has made its way into theaters.

Another one of 20th Century Fox’s conductions, the book finally gets its sequel. Now, I personally haven’t seen the movie YET, but I’ll be seeing it in some time. I just know it.

If you’ve read the book, you’d most likely find it blending into the movie. Greg and Rodrick must bond because of their parents and blah blah blah from that. Now, according to critics, it precisely got ratings WORSE than the first installment. I have proof. A B- compared to a C. A 53% compared to a 40%. In spite of this, critics are still saying good things about it. It’s acceptably acted. Moderately witty. Stuff like that.

Speaking of the movie, its site finally got an upgrade. Check out Wimp Yourself 2.o, as well as videos, photos, and more! All in one powerful click…

Anyways, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 is now in theaters, and if you’re wimpy enough, start pestering your parents for some good seats!



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