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Hey guys it’s Sam, and have you ever wondered how my life is like? Well, you searched upon the right post, because Sammwak presents My Day My Life starring yours truly! This is the ultimate way to take a look at celebrity life, so why not my life?

FIRST ROUTINE

First I wake up in the morning, probably at 11:00 to noon, 1:00 if I’m extra sleepy.  I hobble to the bathroom to comb my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my face. Then I go down for breakfast.

BREAKFAST

I usually have Ensure nutrition drinks (the king of dairy products), even though my sister says it isn’t real breakfast. If we’re on an Ensure shortage, then I usually grab a bowl of cereal, whether it’s plain Cheerios or Lucky Charms.

10-MINUTE GAMING

I used to head down to the family room for some extreme ten-minute gaming. I usually played SSX Tricky (you know, when the PS2 actually still worked), then I varied to Diddy Kong Racing for the N64, and then that was pretty much my last ten-minute gaming time…excluding the nights I bashed on Super Street Fighter IV.

EXTREME COMPUTING

Then I head upstairs, get comfortable in the chair, and relax surfing the web. I usually make a couple post drafts right here on Sammwak, or I help the web otherwise like editing wikis. If there’s something going on in my head, either if it’s something I have or something irrationally wild, I usually make a video about it on my webcam. I also do a great amount of work at Cheezburger.com, where I go under the alias saml0lz. Yes, I have made the home page of several sites several times.

WHAT’S FOR LUNCH?

I usually either get called down for lunch, or go myself by around 3:00 to 4:00…or those extremely and lazily unlucky times where I need to have my dinner, which is also my lunch (a lunner?) I usually have a tasty plate of rice, whether it’s white or brown. If I feel extra appetizing, I usually garnish my meals with strips of bacon. During or after my meal, I usually go to the bathroom to have a baby. My latest boy was named Mr. Feces. Where is he now? In his home…halfway between my toilet and the Atlantic Ocean.

Then I go back upstairs and repeat Extreme Computing all over again.

VIDEOHEAD

I go on YouTube every day. Both to get a few laughs out, or to check some of my channels…sorry, me and my brother’s channel. Yeah, I watch viral videos (Annoying Orange and whatnot), and some channels I really like (nigahiga, TheFineBros, etc.) get subscribed…on Google Reader.

DINNER DASH

Just take a look back up at What’s for Lunch? I usually have rice, whether I have to wash it down with a bowl of Romaine hearts. (It’s just salad.) The only time I didn’t have rice was when:

A) I went out for dinner (which I wish would happen more often) at a restaurant.

B) I got stuck with a plate of mushy ugali. (That’s corn meal)

Then I infrequently go to the bathroom and have another baby. My latest girl’s a shortie, and her name’s Ms. Scat. She and Mr. Feces are probably raising a wonderful family together.

AFTER-DINNER DOINGS

Okay, now it’s time for my nightlife. My brother usually stays down at the family room with his nighttime meal. I usually watch TV or do some street fighting. Then I usually go back to the TV of mild boredom and watch some TV up until 11:00, my bedtime. But if I feel like a bad boy, I’ll squeeze in a few more minutes of street fighting, just to reward myself.

Then I run upstairs, change into my pajamas (or shower, if I feel like a goody gumball), and drift into sleep, whether it’s quick and dreamless, or with at least one sad, weird, or freakishly creepy dream.

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TRIP DAYS

This is a new kind of day. I usually wake up, do my first routine, and then get whisked off in our Chevy Impala, usually (if not always) to Chicago. We usually make a couple stops at gas stations to get a reload or to reload on energy with some sweets, then we head right back on the road. We usually spend the night at our destination (speaking of destination, did I mention we use a GPS?), then we chug back home. Take all our stuff out. And if we’re extra early, take a nap. Or sleep, whatever you would call it.

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And that, my friend, is a look at my life! Thanks for being a part of Sammwak, and if you blog right here at WordPress, please like my posts. If you don’t blog here, just subscribe and/or leave a comment. Remember, it’s 100% natural!

- Sam

p.s. Tomorrow, I fall into the evil clutches of what is known as…school. Wish me all the luck you can.

p.p.s. This is the first post categorized under Home in a long time.



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I feel really super good today (besides feeling sluggish about it being September aka school month). You know why? Because I checked my site stats, and last Saturday morning I had fifty views! Did you know that’s the same number of homes in a city of Nebraska? Do you know how good that makes me feel? Anyway I figured that it’s a Monday, and after an ignorant hiatus, I’ve decided to come back at you with an old Sammwak original: the top 10 Xbox 360 games! (See I published it!) To agree or disagree? That is the answer. From the fighting ring to the soccer field and everything in between, bring on the list!

10. Get ready to soil your plants in Plants vs Zombies.

It's like Left 4 Dead, but with plants.

for animated blood and cartoon violence.

One of last year’s most memorable games that hit the Xbox Live Arcade, PvZ took tower defensive games to the next level. If you’re not very “bright” (get it?), you won’t know the storyline: Your house is attacked by hordes of zombies looking for brains, and while you chill in your house, the only battlefield you have is your lawn. The soldiers? Plants.

HOW THIS GAME ROCKED: Beautiful graphics never go awry. Endless amount of opportunities, such as getting new plants (earned or bought as a Twiddydinky) or facing new zombies. Impressive mini games when you want to take a break from the adventure. Awesome versus mode.

HOW IT DIDN’T: You actually have to w-w-(if I say this, my lips will swell like salami)-work to earn things! Progress is unbelievably slow (unlike the iPhone version, the most fair edition sold). Take a white kid and dab two drops of ketchup on his neck and call him a vampire, that’s simply not my league of gaming.

9. Be the predator, but don’t be the prey in Mirror’s Edge.

Faith in mid-fight with a “Blue.”

  for blood, violence, and language.

One of 2008-2010′s most reflected action-adventure games (and my sister’s only played game), taking the phrase “freedom of movement” to a dangerously high level. You play as Faith, a 24-year old in a utopian city that makes a living as a runner, a master of parkour who carries communiques about the city. Faith discovers corruption at the city’s core, and she gets hunted down (at least, that’s what the back said). Along the way, you encounter the Pursuit Police (also skilled in parkour), former runner Jackknife, and even Ropeburn the bulky wrestler!

HOW THIS GAME ROCKED: The most beautiful graphics I’ve seen in an action-adventure game. The core controls are super easy, and you can string them together for even more combat skill. Reasonable voice acting for each character, and a real bang of an ending.

HOW IT DIDN’T: Freaking impossible, even on easy. The combat does sag a little, and the amount of trial and error is time-sucking, soul-sucking, and…well, frustrating.

8. Team up and throw down in Skate 3.

Who’s gonna break the most bones? Guess in your comment!

for crude humor, drug reference, mild violence, suggestive themes, and language.

The third and most recent installment in Electronic Art’s open-world skateboarding series Skate, this game flipped into retail stores May 2010. Since San Vanelona has put up a strict skate-free rule, we take to the streets of Port Carverton (home of the Sharks). But this city of not only the residence of Sharks, but stars. Stars in the skateboarding history, that is, from Danny Way to Rob Dydrek and everyone in between.

HOW THIS GAME ROCKED: The controls did churn out easy and quite impressive. The environments were breathtaking and so lifelike, and there are very worthy skaters to unlock, even if they’re skeletons of slabs of meat. Simply throwing yourself off buildings is instant fun.

HOW IT DIDN’T: The engine just couldn’t keep up with the visuals, so every now and then Skate 3 does glitch up (carrying the series’ old tradition). The droning format it undergoes simply melted away my entertainment. Challenges slowly got impossible.

FUN FACT: Did you know that the game before this installment was not Skate 2, but instead the spin-off Skate It? Since Thanksgiving 2008, this extreme sporting game has been getting air on the DS, the Wii, and the iPhone.

7. It’s a futuristic battle to the finish in Monday Night Combat.

An Iceman Assassin gives a juiced piggyback ride to a Hotshot Assault. Hey, am I next?

Juicing up the XBLA last summer as part of the Xbox Live Summer of Arcade, MNC has intelligent and heavy use of a Monday Night Football background, with a character-class based system with clones that fight for money. Speaking of money, there’s a Moneyball (a ball of money….) that must be defended on one team, while destroyed on the other. Classes, defense, money…yup, it’s pretty much tower defense.

HOW THIS GAME ROCKED: The visuals are also clean and striking, and the controls are actually awfully easy at the core. It makes you feel as if you’re in the arena, and I might be a thick-header for saying this, but it’s very lifelike. Bullseye has to be the best mascot in a 3-person shooter game.

HOW IT DIDN’T: And that’s pretty much it, save the fact that you’re literally blazing bullets every five seconds.

FUN FACT: Did you know that MNC is getting a free-to-play sequel sometime in late 2011 or early 2012 called Super MNC? It’s got new classes, bringing back the old ones, but gives out more of a strategical test.

6. Take the rallies and the ridges in Kinect Adventures.

Two adventurers rush through river rapids in "River Rush."

for…mild animated blood?

The first game for the Xbox 360′s Kinect, Kinect Adventures depicted an adventurous storyline with people looking for journeying. There are five mini-games in Free Play, let alone Adventure Mode: River Rush (see picture), Reflex Ridge, Space Pop, 20,000 Leaks, and Rallyball. Adventure on your own or have a cooperative or competitive time with friends.

HOW IT ROCKED: The events did have lots of range, and they were fun in their own ways. As long as the Kinect could track you, the controls did work good. Successful multiplayer, whether it’s co-op or competition.

HOW IT DIDN’T: The most annoying way of telling players that they can’t be tracked: A huge message pops up in the corner of the screen, and tells you to move backward or move forward or left, IT’S SO ANNOYING! Anyway, the game’s also really repetitive so it doesn’t have much interest for people to stay round for at least a handful of hours.

5. You’re the ninja Terminator, and you’re no conjurer of cheap tricks in Mini Ninjas.

The protagonist Hiro, attacks a massive "large one".

for crude humor and cartoon violence.

Welcome back to the world of Japanese adventure! In this big little action-adventure, flatlands are attacked with horrific weather as bad as earthquakes, and mysterious figures are seen caging animals. The truth is that the Evil Samurai Warlord banished 300 years ago had made an unholy return turning caged animals into mindless warriors in an attempt to take over the world! When the ninja master sends out armies of ninjas with no return, he turns to his final two, knowing that the fate of the world rests in their little hands.

HOW IT ROCKED: Beautiful art making a cohesive world of vibrancy. (sorry, too psychedelic?) Unlimited combat options, which make for some pretty fun fights, whether you need to possess a fox for a quick retreat, or a bear for a good old mauling.

HOW IT DIDN’T: Every flaw literally points their finger at the bad camera. Fighting does get tiresome towards the end of the game. And a not very impressive way to fight bosses, but an extremely hilarious one at most: pantsing them. (I’m not even pulling your chain!) So points for and against you.

4. Get to the dancefloor and get funky in Dance Central.

Miss Aubrey breaks it down mid-game.

The killer app of the Xbox 360′s Kinect (hands down), Dance Central is the second game for the Kinect (see no. 6 for the first) and actually sneaked exercises into what seems to be just having a good time. With a soundtrack with grooves as classic as “Funkytown”, to as current as Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)”. There are ten avatars (counting ELIOT and the Pink Ninja), and t0 top it off, there’s even a ten-second freestyle!

HOW IT ROCKED: Invigorating visuals upon a wide complexity of dance, a helpful training mode. It’s hard to resist dancing with your friends. A party’s dream game.

HOW IT DIDN’T: Girlie moves that men can’t survive to perform. When routines are easy, they’re a little too easy; they’re super-duper-fragilisticexpialadocius-1-million-points easy. No character customization? Well, that stinks, because I was looking forward to dancing under my own creation. And at first glance, you’d think you reached hip-hop-happy land. So why is this game always defending the right to get funky?

3. For these ragdolls, it’s a rush in Activision’s Wipeout: In The Zone.

If old ladies really have to cross streets like this in the future....

for comic mischief and mild cartoon violence.

In 2008, we first received the hilarious show, Wipeout. Then we received Wipeout: The Game in 2010. And now, the Kinect evolution! Yessiree, this game totally supports Kinect gaming! And for once…this isn’t garbage! It’s actually fun for a change, even if you’re playing a little experience at Best Buy!

HOW IT ROCKED: Successful Kinect mechanics for multiplayer, and awesome mechanics of obstacles you’d actually see on the show. Good voice samples and entertaining visuals never grate up. A good game to get a simple handful of laughs out of.

HOW IT DIDN’T: Replays rub your misfortune in your unlucky face. Tasks to do before running a course are embarrassing, like striking poses or dancing. Kinect models do patch up, while it’s infrequent, but noticeable. Not really some achievements worth striving for.

2. Put the pedal to the metal with over twenty Sega characters in Sonic & Sega Racing.

Sonic zooms in the foreground with Tails hot on his track on the Whale Lagoon course.

for comic mischief, cartoon violence, and mild suggestive themes.

First revving into the market February 2010 nine days after Valentine’s Day (six after my birthday), Sonic & Sega Racing is the third and most recent installment in the Sega Superstars crossover series. With an endless amount of courses to unleash your inner all-star, it’s also a great game for friends who want competition, whether it’s racing or the mini-games’ varies from king of the hill to knockout!

HOW IT ROCKED: Very smooth controls with endless speed senses which fall into the beautiful visuals and great frame rates. Impressive course design with plenty of variety and range even when you have to drive in a circle three times. Even when they’re literal Sega mascots to ultimate D-listers, this game has a good mix range of racers. Ultimately successful multiplayer with endless fun.

HOW IT DIDN’T: No way to Grand Prix with a friend. Even with up to four players racing, the one signed in gets all the credit.

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Okay, this is it. My most recommended game. Change your underwear. Man the floorboards. Take your vitamins. Because number one has arrived, and even critics and players alike agree with me all across the country….

A CPU Makoto attacks Dudley with a Hayate. Official X360 Magazine courtesy.

for alcohol reference, mild language, suggestive themes, and, of course, violence.

The best fighting game around for ages. Super Street Fighter IV brought everything back of what we needed. Bringing back “forgotten” characters while introducing newcomers, giving “that new touch” to that old game, man this game has it all. I can do the whole evening just in training mode. No wonder me and my brother made onebyonetv in its honor.

HOW IT ROCKED: Gorgeous models and arena designs. Ultimate success in rebalancing characters along with the robust gameplay. Excellent competitive multiplayer if imperfect. Video replay is the best way to share fights with friends in a new, evolved way. All together, definitely makes a better game than last year’s at 2 thirds of the price.

HOW IT DIDN’T: Only limited to a wee two-player multiplayer. You know what would’ve patched it up? Team battle. DUH! Online fighting does suffer if either fighter has slow connection. Video replay mode could be a tad easier to use.

————-

So that’s all, folks. A deep sorry for not being able to catch up these past weeks, so I forced myself to do this one. Thanks for always being a part of Sammwak, and if you blog here at WordPress, please like this post. And if you’re just a viewer, then please subscribe or leave a comment in that section!

- Sam

p.s. Do you know I’ve gotten up to sixty comments here on Sammwak? Good golly!



Hey it’s Sam, and here’s another YouTube treasure I dug up, mateys! Today’s treasure is actually not just from one user…it’s from three! I just felt like it, because today is Thursday. A triple Thursday of treasures. These YouTube stars are famous online and off, and are actually huge icons. The first YouTube star is the king of VFX (video effects, for all of you who don’t do abbreviations) mastery, Frederick “Freddie” Wong, or as his username goes by, freddiew. He has over 30 million channel views, and over one million subscribers.

The first video is a real-life tribute to an infinitely looping gif which you can find here. It’s called “Big Blue Ball Machine”, and currently stands with over one million views since July 16.

The next one is called “Arcade Dominator”, where Wong heads to the arcade and dominates all, from air hockey to a perfect skeeball game to a flawless Guitar Hero shredding session. This video has over 5 million views since the 4th of…June. Pwned.

This final one is called “Real Life Mario Kart”, bringing back Mario Kart 64 in 2011. This video has over 11 million views since February 17…my birthday! :D

Freddie has a bigger-than-life backstory behind him. He competed in the 2007 World Series of Video Games, walking away with first prize for Guitar Hero 2. (if you saw Arcade Dominator, you know he rules at GH.) He performed at YouTube Live in 2008, and is prone for guest stars in his videos, such as Ray William Johnson in “Troll Massacre”, and William and Dylan from KIDS REACT in “Jedi A-Holes Strike Back”. Onto the next star!

—————-

If you’re Brazilian, you can’t say you don’t know Joe Penna, or MysteryGuitarMan. He makes music out of stuff you wouldn’t expect to be musical, such as with balloons in “Pop”, with buildings in “Jumbo”, and with one thousand guitars in “1000 Guitars”. He has over 35 million channel views, and has surpassed the one-million-subscriber mark.

This first one is called “Bubble Rap”, consisting of lots of bubble wrap, a guitar, and DeStorm as the rapper. Over a million views since May 14, 2011.

The next one is “Pop”, which I told you is consisted of lots of balloons, and a piano. Almost at 3.5 million views since May 11, 2010.

The final one is “Happy Mouth”, featuring Joe singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” with the sounds conducted by his mouth, like a bass, an angelic choir, and hi-hats.

Joe has not only been in a McDonald’s Coke commercial, but he ranks as the ninth-most subscribed YouTuber to date, dethroning the Annoying Orange but being dethroned by Shane Dawson’s second channel. Now, our third and final star!

————————-

Epic Meal Time is from Canada, which is no surprise why they take foods to the total extreme. If you’re ever called down to lunch and you aren’t hungry, watch some Epic Meal Time and you’ll be hungrier than a starving Sim. Almost 25 million channel views and over a million subscribers as we speak. The eighth-most viewed in Canada, and the most gnarliest foods since Man vs Food…maybe even gnarlier.

The first one cooks up a meatball deathstar, a whole bunch of cooked pasta stuffed inside a meatball covered with cheese…your mouth started watering, right? If you ain’t down with meatballs, and you ain’t down with almost 3.5 million views (since December 14, 2010), you ain’t down to no nothing!

Next, sushi and fast food finally fuse together to create the ultimate “fast food sushi”. Since December 7, it has over 5 million views. おいしい! That’s Japanese for “delicious”!

The final video is just salad. Without all the healthy stuff. Take your greens, and turn them into teins…proteins! That’s right, we got a meat salad with flank steak lettuce, spiced-up pepperoni carrots, meatball radishes, cucumber sausages, and Epic Meal Time ain’t epic without bits…beer bacon bits!

And if you think this is a carnivore’s dream come true, it doesn’t stop there. They’re live at Comic Con, and you go to Netflix.com/bacon, and watch some Kevin Bacon! Am I right, Internet?

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That marks the end of another video effective, musical, and tasty YouTube treasure. From now on, check back every other Friday (which means a treasure one Friday, a regular post the next, and then another treasure the next) for more YouTube treasures, mateys!

- Sam

p.s. Have I told you about my brother’s site? Probably not. It’s based on ways you can be successful in everyday life. From social medial abuse to the perfect relationship to letting go of a loved one, my brother Chris Mwakasisi could probably hook you up with some gnarly innovation.



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