Movies, like anything, come in all shapes and sizes. Action-packed movies that are literally their own explosives, drama titles that pull at your heartstrings, horror bloodbaths that’ll leave you jolting your boxes of popcorn instead of enjoying them, comedies that’ll have you laughing until you can’t breathe, etc. But there’s one type of movie that’s barely gotten true honor: the video game genre. Yes, that exists. Probably the only existent “inner gamer” movie has to be The Wizard, a Christmas ’89 title that introduced what would become one of the biggest games in history: Super Mario Bros. 3. And speaking of arcade games, that’s where that story ends, and this new story begins.
(How many video game characters can you spot? )
I have never been so excited for a movie. Um, ever. Directed by the former animation director for both The Simpsons and Futarama,Wreck-It Ralph, the 52nd Disney Animated Feature and the first of 2012 (the 51st being last year’s Winnie the Pooh), starts at a typically nostalgic down-the-block arcade. One of the titles in that arcade is Fix-It Felix, Jr., where you play Felix himself and must constantly repair the damages of a building facade while the game’s villain smashes away atop the building. That villain is the 9′-tall, 643-pound Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly), and for three decades he’s been the guy that everyone loved to hate. And Ralph’s tired of that. And to make everyone notice he can be the hero, he literally disappears from the game via power cord and joins the light-gun FPS Hero’s Duty, battling “Cy-Bugs” alongside the game’s own hero, Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch). But he doesn’t spend the whole movie in this game, as he later goes onto a candy-themed kart racer called Sugar Rush, and here he meets one of the game’s main characters, Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman). Vanellope has learned that her game is faced with a threat that could affect the entire arcade. The worst part? Ralph may have started the whole thing.
I was originally gonna come out with a “Top 5 Most Self-Anticipated Movies of the Year” post, but I’ll tell you right here and now, this movie was #1 before the list was even finished. I first came intact with this movie at this year’s Comic-Con, and I’ve been loving it ever since. <3 This movie promises appearances from some of your favorite game characters: Ryu, Ken, M. Bison, Zangief, Chun-Li, Cammy (all Street Fighters), Clyde (one of the Pac Man ghosts), Bowser, Eggman, Kano, Smoke, Q*bert, and it doesn’t even stop there. (This fact about the movie took a page from Roger Rabbit’s 1988 adventure, also from Disney.) There’s a result of over 200 individual models based off these inclusions. Running on a budget of $150 million to possibly make movie history by rejuvenating the game movie genre, this movie luckily had a date shift to November 2 this year, which was originally next March. (Thank goodness!) And to add to that, it also got a major appearance in the latest Game Informer, and Fix-It Felix’s adventure is now available in full-Flash at Ralph’s official site. And–you likely should’ve seen this coming–Wreck-It Ralph will be receiving his own video game on the Wii, DS, and 3DS! This Disney Inter.-Activision project is stated to be a “story extension” to the movie. And to add to that, Ralph will even be featured among the racers in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed! How can you say “game over” to that? Well, Wreck-It Ralphwill premiere November 2 in 3D, but the story’s not quite done yet…and besides, you haven’t seen these Wreck-It Ralph TV spots yet!
This is Disney’s new black-and-white short flick, Paperman. Blending traditional and computer animation, you’ll be able to see this movie directly after Wreck-It Ralph, like La Luna was shown right after Brave. The synopsis states that the movie follows a lonely young man in mid-century NYC, whose destiny takes a turn after meeting a ravishing woman during a morning commute. Convinced the girl of his dreams has slipped through his fingers, he gets a second chance at love when he spots the woman in the window of a skyscraper across the avenue of his office. Armed with love, imagination, and a stack of papers, his efforts show not even close to paralleling his awaiting fates. Hearts will break and papers will fly this fall. Ooh, sounds romantic. Anyway, whether you’re in it or not, you can catch Wreck-It Ralph and Paperman in their premieres this fall, and it’s going to be like watching all those scenes at the end of The Avengers.
p.s. Random Video o’ the Week: In the 90s, Goosebumps was hot, Pogs were a fad, Nickelodeon was on fire, and all girls talked about were bands like Hanson, or the Backstreet Boys, or N*SYNC. Now, Goosebumps HorrorLand is the only existent series, Pogs have vanished from the mainstream, and girls are obsessing over people like Justin Bieber and Big Time Rush. Oh, and Nickelodeon still holds a small flame. But you should’ve seen them back in the day. All That, Kenan & Kel, Legends, Figure It Out, Family Double Dare, Clarissa, the list goes on. 90′s kids had it all, and after more than a decade of being in the shadows (excluding SpongeBob, which is still alive, and Figure It Out, which has been revived) it just had to get re-honored in all its nostalgic glory. So TeenNick made The 90′s Are All That last summer. While it’s on every night from 12-2am, with a 2-4am encore right after, at least you can get a taste of how it feels now. (Ever since last August it’s received almost 30k hits.)
Fruits and vegetables are very vital parts of a healthy life and well-balanced diet. Apples fill you with antioxidants, grapes carry nutrients and vitamins, carrots carry vitamins that are helpful in bettering the vision, and so on. And some fruits are different than others, such as the different types of tomatoes (roma, greenhouse, on-the-vine, etc.) and determining if something is seeded or seedless. But the fruit we’re talking about today is the most diverse of all. Not in color, taste, but mostly appearance. And this fruit’s job is to annoy the heck out of you, and it’s done one chock full of its job, as it is #10 on the list of our top 100 YouTubers with almost 3 million subscribers. If you don’t appreciate him, you’ll have to deal with his posse of other foods. He is the Annoying Orange, and this time he’s gone where no inhuman YouTube star has ever gone…your television screen.
Yep, the multi-million-viewed proportions of the Caesar of citrus are finally going up on TV! And it’s about time that Orange and company finally got their own show–they’ve practically been asking for it! See how in just a short track of time, Fred became a cyberspace sensation, and now he’s handling his own Nickelodeon show! Well, Orange may not be on Nickelodeon, but he’s on a channel that definitely suits his needs–Cartoon Network! The Annoying Orange (or, as advertised, The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange) is easier said than said the TV adaptation of the smash hit series, currently produced by Dane Boedigiheimer–just call him Dane Boe–and his company Gagfilms (also Dane’s companion channel on YouTube), plus a management company called The Collective. Everyone from the original series is back, but the show will take place on a fruit vending cart instead of the usual kitchen. Oh, and besides the food-filled cast, there’s also a character that’s the only human on the show: the wacky scientist/fruit seller Nerville, played by none other than our good friend Toby “Tobuscus” Turner! Besides Toby, there will be some other humans that are only guest stars on the show: Jeffrey Tambor, Billy Dee Williams, Felicia Day, among others. News about this show first kindled back in April 2010, and in October that year Dane finished the scripts for the first six episodes. In February the next year he began filming and underwent discussions with Cartoon Network about airing the show, which was picked up that November. The show is currently running on a budget of $2,000. That’s enough money to buy 8 Wiis off Amazon, no game bundle included.
The show is currently being produced by Dane, Tom Sheppard, and Conrad Vernon (known for work on Shrek and Monsters vs. Aliens). The co-executive producers are Spencer Grove, Aaron Massey, and YouTube stars Kevin Brueck (kevinbrueck) and Robert Jennings (bobjenz). The show will use similar animation of the series, and besides a sneak peek that aired on Memorial Day this week, the show’s series premiere will be on Cartoon Network, and instead of being in the fall (like previous statements foreshadowed), it will premiere 2 Mondays from now on the 11th! Mark your calendars, YouTube fans; this adventure may have more sweets than your stash of candy. Don’t lie. I’ve seen it. Famous voices on the show will include:
Justine Ezarik, famous online as ijustine, as the voice of Passion Fruit whom is Orange’s secret love interest. Whoops, did I go TMI?
John DiMaggio, famous as the voice of Gears of War‘s Marcus Fenix as well as Futurama‘s Bender, as a character that is to be determined.
Dee Bradley Baker, famous for his voicing work on SpongeBob, Fairly OddParents, etc., as a character that is to be determined.
Tom Kenny, famous as the voice of SpongeBob himself and as the announcer of numerous KCA shows, as a character that is to be determined.
Rob Paulsen, famous as the voice of the TMNTs’ “rebel” Raphael in the 1987 cartoons, as well as work in shows like Animaniacs, as a character that is to be determined.
If I were you, I wouldn’t eat that orange, because it’s a manifestation of what you’re gonna see on June 11th. If you eat it, you’re reducing hunches of hard work to nothing but pulp, citrus, and peel pieces! Anyway, if you didn’t check out the series sneak peek (“Marshmalia”), that’s okay; there are tons of other rerunning airtimes available, like how I watched the sneak peek a day after it aired! Anyways, don’t be an apple; check out the high-fructose adventures of our deliciously loyal pals when they hit the big screen on Monday, June 11th only on Cartoon Network! Canadian fans, you’ll have to wait until the 4th of July. German fans, you really will have to wait until this fall. Either way, however you cut this treat, it’s still gonna be sweet on all sides.
You know what to do: like, rate, comment, reblog, share, laugh, and knife stab that subscribe button in the face! But for now, this is Sammwak signing out, but we’ll awesomify things again next week. Oh, and make sure to tune in to the Annoying Orange show’s series premiere on Monday, June 11th, only on Cartoon Network!
p.s. Would You Rather o’ the Week: Would you rather…be a fruit that was killed by Knife, or be Knife and kill all the fruit?
p.p.s. Random Video o’ the Week: The NBC cult series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The acclaimed Disney-Pixar duo Up and Monsters, Inc. The Walt Disney Animated Classic Alice in Wonderland (the 1951 take). One of Disney’s most successful and memorable movies, Mary Poppins. A commercial success but critical failure, Steven Spielberg’s Peter Pan take Hook. Among others. What do these sources of media have in common? They’ve all been remixed seemingly perfectly by Nick “Pogo” Bertke, and have hit great receptions on YouTube. Once you take a look at these videos, you’ll find out why.
No, relax. It’s not 2012…yet. I’m just here to take a good break from my creation of my profit-pioneering parody Harry Daughter and the Half-Blood Unicorn, and celebrate yet another holiday of the year…the new year! Who knew that 365 days (or 366 in a leap year) could be the home of such legendary creations? Mortal Kombat finally came back early this year, two Assassin’s Creed adventures came out in one year (Brotherhood and Revelations), Ubisoft desperately tried to make another Experience title (The Black Eyed Peas Experience) after the crumbling of their Michael Jackson title, among other video game publications. But I’m here to talk turkey about 2012, not 2011! Well, we all know it’s been a truly great year. I’ve turned 10, we’ve reached 50,000 hits, Sammwak has celebrated its solid 1st birthday anniversary (now currently at 1 year and 8 months; what an old blog!), and lots more. And I hope that Sammwak will keep on doing its good deeds into the new year. Now let’s talk about our first topic: TV!
Finn and Jake look extra cozy in their swank sweaters. Is mine coming?
We all know the last time we saw the “dude and his dog” duo of Adventure Time: secretly watching Ice King’s tapes of embarrassments like video diaries, personifications of PB (Ice King) falling for the Ice King (Gunter), and Ice King’s terrible cover of Marceline’s “Fry Song”. This was just some of the bacon bits that made the long strip we know as the 2-part “Holly Jolly Secrets”. But what are Finn and Jake’s plans for 2012? Starting next month, Adventure Time is now moving from 8:00 pm on Mondays to 7:30 pm on Mondays! Why do I think that’s a bad decision? I usually eat dinner around 7:30! In the dining room! Thanks a bunch, Pendleton, my man; now I’ll be catching up to your adventures on demand.
And how is the cast of Ooo celebrating the new year? Well, all I have to say is…it’s MiXiTtime! That’s right, not only is Ooo going to celebrate 2 days from now (New Year’s Eve) on 1:00 sharp, but I’m giving you an extra day to work on your new MiXiT creations extra hard, and with just enough luck, your creation might be shown during the marathon! How cool is that? Oh, and speaking of MiXiT, be sure to expect tons of titles coming your way, including (but not limited to) Gumball, The Looney Tunes Show, Scooby Doo Mystery Inc., Johnny Test, and—finally—Regular Show! The craze that is now known as MiXiT actually started 2 years ago, with titles like Chowder and Flapjack dominating the software. Man, did I miss out.
And speaking of which, remember how Disney Channel butchered (did I say butchered, I meant revamped) the holidays by turning them into “Fa-La-La-Lidays”, the exact same way they turned October into “Monstober”? Well they’re turning next month into “JaNEWary”. Apparently all the DC shows you can think of are churning out all new episodes, which I thought they’ve been doing all this time. Do you want to see Jessie (Jessie) realize how it’s like to be high above moving traffic? In the upcoming episode “Star Wars”, your wish becomes granted. Do you want to see Ravi (Jessie) finally become a coolio like Luke? In the episode “Are You Cooler Than A 5th Grader?”, your wish also comes true. Do you want to see Zendaya and Bella Thorne (Shake It Up‘s Rocky and CeCe) together in their first-ever DCOM? With the new movie Frenemies, you’re going to see plenty more.
This half-movie half-anthology is a threesome of stories. The first one, starring Zendaya and Bella, features the hardcore friendship of Avalon (Bella) and Halley (Zendaya), BFFs who are overjoyed when their Geekly Chic fashion blog is going to be turned into a magazine, but only one person can stay on board as senior editor, which means that only one person can live their dreams. This turns their frisky friendship into red-hot rivalry, and will these “Best Friends Forever” become “Best Friends For Never“? Well, I can’t give away too much, so let’s go onto the next story.
Science-whiz Jake is about to show his dog Murray to his project partner/crush Julianne (A.N.T. Farm‘s Stefanie Scott), but Julianne has something about her that Murray doesn’t enjoy—and the feeling is mutual.
The third and final story goes off to the tomboyish Savannah who comes from a nice and energetic family, and she then meets the uptown-styled Emma, who looks almost like a twin to her. Like a storyline off the bars of Garfield: A Tail of Two Kittens or Monte Carlo, the two switch lives and realize that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Well, I’ve considered that I’ve talked enough about games, so let’s look at 3 games I always see on every top-1o list I look at.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Dubbed as one of the best games of 2011, this game finally jumped into retailers’ hands around Thanksgiving, and Bethesda Softworks/Game Studios has never been the same since after the downfalls of Brink, and the already made success of Rage. Skyrim has been the head of the pack for things like an immense world, amazing dragon brawls, lovely art design, atmospheric touches, enjoyable battles, the list goes on. This adventure is obviously the fifth adventure of the Elder Scrolls pentalogy started in 1994 by Bethesda Softworks and Game Studios. Think of your usual Viking quest. Full of dragons, horned headgear, and lots more. Skyrim gives you that and more. Just ask the number of critical gaming sites that have given this game such high, near-perfect/perfect praise:
GameSpot – 9.0/10
1Up – A-
IGN – 9.5/10
GameStop – 9.6/10
Toys R Us (no lie) – 5 stars out of 5
Amazon – 4.6/5
Portal 2 - The original Portal was a test against speed, skill, and strategy, and that’s what made it such a hit in puzzle gaming. It spiked a countless amount of memes from “The cake is a lie” to “Still Alive”, so you’d think that the sequel to it would be even better. And that’s just what it was. Supporting clever writing, delightful puzzles, intriguing co-op situations, and hugely entertaining newcomers to the Portal roster, this may be the only puzzle game created in such science-fictional fields to be considered “hilarious.” “Uproarious.” “A hoot”, if you may. GLaDOs from the original Portal may have been outdone by the new robots in town: Atlas (the short one) and P-Body (the tall one). Just look at what the people across the interactive planet had to say:
GameSpot – 9.0/10
GameStop – 9.3/10
IGN – 9.5/10
Amazon – 4.7/5 stars
Toys R Us – 5 out of 5 stars
Batman: Arkham City - If you thought Arkham Asylum was all the Batman amazement you’d get in a year or two, think again. Arkham City has proved itself as one of the most dynamic games of 2011, getting acclaim and praise from everywhere you could think of (aka the interactive world). One of the highest rated of 2011 alone, this born legend was scripted out by pro comic book author Paul Dini, who also provided the scripts to Arkham Asylum, Freakazoid (Candlejack, anyo-), Krypto the Superdog, and lots more. Stealth and tactics are the two most vital thirds of the game, amongst the beat-em-up third of the game. Already out for the PC, the Xbox, the PS3, and even (coming soon) the Wii U, the game has already impressed critics worldwide and has never received a score that left the boundaries of 9.0 or higher. It also became one of the fastest-selling games with 4.6 units shipped in one week! Let’s do our own research, shall we?
GameSpot – 9.0/10
1Up – A
IGN – 9.5/10
Amazon – 4.4 stars out of 5
Toys R Us – 5 stars out of 5 (Is any game bad to them?)
Did you know that sometime next year, also take notice and expect a Sonic 4: Episode 2 coming out? There’s gonna be a new playable sidekick (Tails, Sonic 2), a new enemy (Metal Sonic, Sonic CD), and a brand new adventure. If you’re not convinced enough, check out this pic and vid!
What do you usually do on a New Year’s dawn?
Now, let us celebrate with a couple decent firework videos! If you want to fall asleep from beauteous light, watch these and you’ll be snoring in a jiffy. Or if you just want to see beautiful fireworks, your quest is over.
Well anyway, tell me what you’re planning for the New Year (your New Year’s resolution); I’m going back to my 2011 resolution and become a better person both to myself and others! What’s yours? Comment below, and leave a little New Year’s gift for me and subscribe, will ya? 10 subscribers. That’s all I need to be happy and fulfilled! TEN! Well, I gotta make like a hockey game and get the puck out of here! And apparently, everyone’s making use of that phrase “Haters gonna hate”. I know I’ll never use it!…
p.s. The best New Year’s gift I could ever receive is 50,000 hits this year. So the only way to give thanks is to do it through song.
There comes that gracious time of year where the snow piles down, and the temperatures drop, but the Christmas cheer rises. Ah, Christmas. The only 2 sacred days of the year where you rely on Santa Claus to make your entire year complete. The only 2 days that you spend with your house decorated with Christmas lights, bake a dish of cookies and milk for Santa’s pleasure, and you anxiously come downstairs in the morning to find what presents await you. You could get the items you’ve been itching for all winter, or you could get a lump of charcoal if you’ve been bad. But hey, at least the coal can act as something to get your patties nice and grilled! Santa Claus has been part of Christmas lore for as long as I can remember, and I remember when artists used to go through all the trouble to record their holiday albums: Mariah Carey with Merry Christmas (1994), Big Time Rush with Holiday Bundle (2010), Aly & AJ with Acoustic Hearts of Winter (2006), and more. Even Nintendo Power is suiting up for the holidays with their “holiday special” magazine, as well as their December 2011 issue. Check out these super-swank covers!
And the news I should’ve told you at the start of the post: we are celebrating our “second” annual Sammwak holiday special! Last year, I was barely doing a good job of giving you the Christmas cheer. But now I’m going to make it a fun time that will be remembered for years if not centuries to come! I’m going to tell what movies are good for the holidays, guides on a great Christmas, and more! But first, we need to sing our first Christmas-friendly number. SpongeBob, Patrick, take it away!
Now, anyway, I should probably tell you how to have a sweet Christmas party, Sammwak-fueled!
Book a date. As December moves, people get busier by the second, so it’s good to have a date ready.
Send out invitations in late November or early December. This way you can drain out how many people to expect, and remember that this is RSVP only.
Plan your eateries in advance. Are you gonna host a relaxed buffet, or a more sit-down meal? Scrawl down your ideas on the shopping list and stick to them. Prepare as much as possible the day before the party, and make things easy and simple—-the last thing you’d want to do is be slaving your own self in the kitchen while guests are having a good time. Some good recommendations to fulfill hungers are cookies, cookies, and more cookies.
Welcome guests upon arrival. Be sure to make your guests feel good, and greet them at the door. Take their coats and escort them to the party area. Make introductions if guests aren’t acquainted with one another and strike the conversation. Arrange drinks to hand out to your guests, and the real icebreaker comes for shy guests.
Play music. The perfect formula to setting moods fast. Be sure to cook up a few CDs beforehand, but play it at a sustainable volume, since people will want to chat.
Host games (optional decision). The most classic party games in the book, like charades, are perfect for Christmas parties. More sophisticated get-togethers can host adult games, but just in case, have plenty of writing utensils, papers, and balloons.
Have fun! Don’t feel uncomfortable at the party. Your guests will be looking at you to set the mood, you being the host/hostess. If you lead the way of a fun time, all will follow.
Give the kids something to enjoy! Especially if you have children at your party, let them have friends invited. Give the kids something to do that will keep them entertained for a sustainable duration, so keep them busy.
Are those some good party recommendations? Well, if those don’t work, let’s try these recommended holiday movies!
“…full of adventure and positive messages” – Common Sense Media, 4 stars out of 5
The Polar Express has to be the most classic holiday movie in the book. An amazing 2004 motion-captured film that even ended up in the Guinness World Records 2006 book for being the first “all-digital” motion-capture film, this book was actually an adaptation of the award-winning children’s book of the same name by Chris van Allsburg. It tells about a young boy residing in a city an elapsed hour away from ours, Grand Rapids, who hopes for the true spirit of Christmas. Upon a budget of $165 million, this young boy, one we know as Hero Boy, finds a mysterious and magical train called the Polar Express after he hears rumbling from his bedroom. The conductor convinces him to board the Express, considering that this year is the year, and so he indeed embarks on a snowy adventure to Santa’s own home in the North Pole which teaches that the wonders of life never fade for those who believe.
“Dark yet sweet underdog tale for older kids” – Common Sense Media, 4 stars out of 5
It may not seem like a holiday movie, but it was released in the December of 1990. And how could you not feel bad for a poor guy like Edward Scissorhands? Really portrayed by the film legend Johnny Depp, this movie revolves around an artificially created man named Edward who ends up using pairs of scissors as substitutes for hands after his inventor unfortunately got heart attacked before he could make him real hands. He is then taken in by a family of the suburbs and finds love with their teenage daughter Kim. But he finds neighbors’ interests when he shows his unnecessary mastery of hedge-trimming and hair-cutting. One of 20th Century Fox’s most heartwarming creations, this movie has been acclaimed for its new meaning to “beauty is only skin deep”, its darkly sweet portraying of adolescent angst, and humorous powers to soften the sharpest appendages…you know what I mean by that.
“Spectacular book adaptation is great for tweens and up” – Common Sense Media, 5 stars out of 5
There are lots of books famous enough to become movies that turn to the big screen instead of the print presses. These movies are known as “film adaptations.” These include Ramona and Beezus from last year, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) as well as its sequel (2011), Charlotte’s Web from 1973 or 2007, and more. But the most anticipated film adaptation of the year had to go to an adapting of the first-ever novel to have more than half of its pages shrouded in picturing (even winning a picture book-usual Caldecott Medal in the process), The Invention of Hugo Cabret. It has now been adapted into the movie with the name that confused even me, Hugo. Since it was called just Hugo, instead of something like Hugo Cabret, I had no clue that this even had a relationship with the novel. When I did find out, I was…let’s just say a mix of ticked off and surprised. This movie goes back to 1931 at a Paris railway station, revolving around the namesake Hugo Cabret, whose mother has died and is sentenced to life with his clock-making master father. He is bound to see films with his dad a lot, who adores the works of Georges Méliès most of all. Hugo’s second parent dies in a museum fire, forcing Hugo to then live with his uncle, who also makes watches, and also has interests in alcohol. But let’s get to the point of the movie: Hugo’s house is now in the walls of a train station, and Cabret then becomes wrapped in a mystery about his late father and an automaton. No, not an autotune. An automaton. Concerning about dream-chasing, everything having a purpose, and film importance.
Tim Burton has given us the weirdest creations, like last year’s reimagining of Alice in Wonderland, Beetlejuice, Sweeney Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, and more. But one of his most odd creations had to date back to 1993 with The Nightmare Before Christmas. A stop-motion musical horrifically comedic fantasy movie, this chronicles the events of Jack Skellington who serves as the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, a dream world inhabited with every kid’s terror, and who accidentally opens a portal to Christmas Town. It also tells about Jack’s love for a rag-doll creature named Sally, as well as the heartwarming holiday spirit that brought them together. Still one of the world’s most classic stop-motion movies, it has been quoted as “Tim Burton magic”, been rewarded with a rare approval rating of 100% on the Tomatometer, and lots more, especially the messages of being grateful for your possessions.
“Wonderful antidote to cutesy holiday tales” – Common Sense Media, 5 stars out of 5
Bawdy and naughty? Yes. Still a Christmas movie? Uh, duh. A Christmas Story is one of the most original holiday films in the book. Based off of author/raconteur Jean Shepherd’s short stories like In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, this movie is about a young nine-year old named Ralphie Parker in the 1930′s/40′s of the fictional Hohman, Indiana. He wants only one thing for the holidays: a Red Ryder BB gun. Although he schemes frequently to change his parent’s minds, he keeps running into phrases like “You’ll shoot your eye out.” He also has to deal with a seemingly endless wait for his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring, a nasty bully, and an overworked department-store Santa, but it still ends up in a very merry Christmas celebration, and that alone has gotten it into the book of legendary Christmas movies in mine.
And finally, let’s start celebrating the nearing of 2012! Hopefully director Roland Emmerich’s 2009 predictions weren’t true, and that the world’s roads will not collapse into deep, maybe endless, chasms, and that the White House and its president will not be destroyed by the impact of the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy. (Sorry for any obscene images there.) I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’re totally fine under the protection of God our Lord.
So, what is our New Year half of this special going to be about? First, I’ll guide you through a couple of famous YouTubers that you should definitely learn about for 2012′s arrivals. Alas, we must start!
Toby Turner, aka Tobuscus, has ranked as one of YouTube’s most famed in comedy ever since summer 2006 (27th on the big, bad, besties’ list!)! 6 solid years! No one can top that! Well, maybe except Rebecca Black and a lot of other people, but the point is! Toby’s had almost 300 million upload views to date, with 1.5 million subscribers to support (one of them being moi ). He is known for his “Literal” game/movie trailer lyricizing, or his entries in his “Cute Win Fail” series. He also not only supports the channels TobyTurner (for lazy vlogging) and TobyGames (for his game commentary), but he has also gone on adventures in the world of animation along with his much smarter pal, Gabuscus (or, as he likes it, Gabe-uscus). Whether he’s singing about safety torches, proposing the new idea of a “nugget in a biscuit”, or aiming for a portal gun as a Christmas present, this buscus will always be a very good buscus.
The Gregory Brothers (made up of Sarah, Andrew, Michael, and Evan Gregory), also known as schmoyoho, may be only the forty-second on the most-subscribed list, but they managed to shimmy up to number fourteen on the list of directors, and believe me, if there was a list called “Auto-Tune”, it would’ve already topped it faster than you could say “Whoa, slow down, man!” Created in 2007, this foursome has stuck together like a family (which they pretty much are) and Auto-Tuned anything you imagine: the Bed Intruder song, Chuck Testa, Amir [of Jake and Amir]‘s constant pleas for Jake to poke him [via Facebook], and more. These have ended up in almost 400 million upload views in accumulation, and I bet they’re still waiting for another viral video. And if you can’t wait, then go on and make your life sound better with the free (did I say free? I meant “FREE FREE!”) iPhone app that instantly Auto-Tunes your voice. Now, what mechanism could do that?
Well, anyway, what’s your New Year resolution, and what’s on the top of your list for Christmas? Tell me below, and make sure to have a dynamic Christmas and New Year! Well, let’s close up our good time with the classic carol “(Sammwak Wants You To) Deck the Halls”:
Deck the halls with seas of presents,
‘Tis the season to be goody.
Santa’s coming for a visit, or he’ll give you a big lump of coal!
One day a year is this jolly
p.s. Do you believe in Santa Claus? Good ol’ St. Nick, the crazily cool Kris Kringle, the friendly Father Christmas? Are you a SpongeBob or a Squidward? No need to answer this SpongeBob verbally, answer me poll-y!
Yeah, it’s true. And this is Sam reporting about more Big Time Rush. Everyone knows that show about four meddling boys that make a band with a huge record producer that has his own company named after him. And everyone knows their what-seemed-to-be-infinite list of songs, like the theme “Big Time Rush”, the fast-paced love song “Any Kind of Guy”, and the ode to fame, “Famous”, a cover off of the band Play’s version of it on their fifth and final album. Anyway, let’s fast-forward to the part where I tell you about the juicy news. After B.T.R.’s several trials and tribulations, (such as “Til I Forget About You” becoming a commercial failure) it’s sold 700,000 copies worldwide since last month, earning it a Gold rating from the RIAA. And then came their holiday EP a month later, and a month earlier than the holiday they were aiming for. This contained only two songs that made only 7 minutes of music, a cover of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” with Miranda Cosgrove, and a whole different song called “Beautiful Christmas”. Could they come back and leave their trip-ups behind with their next album…Elevate?
A weird name? I think so. An epic cover? I know so. Their comeback album is due to rock stores near you next Monday on the 21st of November, and their announced songs seem ballin’ and flossin’. This summer, the song “If I Ruled the World” featuring Iyaz was released. The first song of the album, “Music Sounds Better With U” written with OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder, was first aired last month, but it has already been released on November 1st. The foursome stated that they were capable of doing most of the writing (including a song due to be heading into an Airheads commercial, “Love Me Love Me”) although some songs took individuals to decipher, like Carlos writing “Invisible” all by himself. At the start of this month, “Intermission”, a song excepted from their album, got leaked online. Check out the whole tracklist!
1. If I Ruled The World ft. Iyaz
3. My Time
4. Blow Your Speakers
5. Someone Else
6. Anything Goes
8. Like Me
12. No One Like You
13. (Fallin’ In Love) All Over Again
And if you want a taste of what to expect on Elevate, listen to “If I Ruled the World” below!
Do you want to see how the actual cover art was photo-shot? I can cover you on that, too!
So keep your eyes out for their new album, Elevate, on November 21st! And hopefully maybe it won’t have its own trials and tribulations!
That’s right. Hey guys, and for any of you who have actually checked out me and my brother’s channel , you’d know that we haven’t been up to date ever since our most recent video back in February 2011 (released five days before yours truly’s birthday), which only mustered seven thousand views, which is not even a fifth of the amount of views our most viral video get.]
Well, now over half a year later, we’ve finally released a new video in a beautifully brand-new format (just today)! Only seventy people have seen this greatness, and since the thousands start here at Sammwak, I thought that this would be the best way to spread the word. See it and replay it and replay it and replay it and replay it and replay it in awe! My brother is officially an After Effects master for doing this. Software takes people places, doesn’t it?
See, I told you it would be beautiful. And if you think you’ve woken up from this best dream ever, we’ll be releasing new videos all week under this format!…Okay, now you can wake up.
Our fresh logo, and hopefully our fresh YouTube icon.
I’ve been cooking up tag-team ideas ever since we got this whole format thing down. I’ve got some pretty good ones down, and hopefully they’ll go from my WordPad to your computer screen. I’ve already told my friends on GMail’s Buzz about it, and maybe they’ll continue the buzz too…pun intended?
Anyways, keep checking back to OneByOne for slick new videos under this format. Speaking of slick videos, wanna check out our most viral video? (breaking the record at over 200,000 views)
I guess that’s all here from Sammwak. Just a quick shout-out to spread the news.
p.s. For my bonehead mistake of procrastinating on blogging times, I’ll be giving you a short span of posts every Monday, Friday, and Wednesday! That’s right, for just 2 weeks, Sammwak will be triweekly…starting, now!
p.p.s. Keep your eyes peeled for SSF4 charge character tutorials! (Anyone named Benny must be very happy right now.)
Hey guys it’s Sam. And do you know Snowboard Supercross, or more simply and commonly referred as, SSX? The greatest snowboarding game series of all time? Consisting of SSX, Tricky, 3, On Tour, and Blur? Perhaps these videos will help tickle your peach if it isn’t tickled already:
Is that better?
If you’re still baffled, SSX is simply one of EA Sports BIG’s greatest creations, with arcade-styled larger-than-life adrenaline lying in your snowboard (or skis, in that matter). And I have some good, if not great, news associated with that series. At the 2011 Spike Video Game Awards, it was announced that a sixth installment will be added to SSX very, very soon. Being developed by EA Canada, and published by EA Sports, the new game has a more realistic turn on real-life snowboarding and vice versa…but in a much, much DARKER tone. A trailer is already out, and from the looks of it, it seems like it is to reach…DEADLY DESCENTS.
See the much more morbid sights of this new game? It’s even been described by websites as looking akin to Call of Duty. And believe me, you can’t NOT know how THAT looks like. But, seriously, this game is called SSX: Deadly Descents, and according to Wikipedia, the PS3 and Xbox 360 are available for this game. If you also enjoy avalanches and wingsuit flying, think about picking this game up.
And I don’t know about you, but it’s becoming a frozen wasteland here in Michigan…well, if you call a wind chill of -13 COLD…
Hey guys it’s Sam and I’m wishing you a happy New Year here from Sammwak! As you know, lots of people are abuzz about the ending of 2010 and the beginning of 2011! I’ll kind of look back on 2010. That year shone. It truly shone. But there’s a very special day for this blog in 2011…its first anniversary! Only the biggest brains would remember this, but my first-ever post (in fact, my first handful of posts) was released April 11, 2010! So the anniversary will take place April 11, 2011! My birthstone is an amethyst, since I was born in February. But my BLOG’S birthstone is apparently a diamond. LUCKY!!! >:( But my blog is like a child to me. It must be treated as such. I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t turn my back to Sammwak. Hey, that rhymes! I bet you can’t turn your back on anything. Except for what you dislike. But Sammwak wishes you a Happy New Year, and so do I. I care for you. I can’t turn you down. I can’t stop thinking about my viewers. And now, as my post is almost at 2,500 hits or such, I really want to thank you for the appreciation you’ve given me for almost half this year. Without you, Sammwak would’ve never been created in the first place. And before this turns into a mind-numbing emotional speech that could take you a day to finish (or, the MNESTCTYADTF as an acronym), I shall close this post.
Hey guys it’s Sam, and I have a confession to make. Yeah, it’s a secret. Not a top-secret secret. A secret. A secret that I don’t really care that’s exposed to the open. But if you tease me it’s the final straw. Here’s the secret…I read The New Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley. What? They’re good books, and usually last 80-something pages. So they’re not too hard to read in a day. I just finished 2 books (The Slam-Dunk Mystery, and The Rock Star’s Secret), and I’m working on The Case of the Wild Wolf Lake or something like that. These two meddling twin sleuths dub themselves “the Trenchcoat Twins”, who solve any crime by dinnertime. How adorable….
These are by a lady named Judy Katschke, and she writes pretty good in here. Also, these don’t have pictures, and some books you may read (especially picture books to the younger ones) may do have pictures. These don’t. Here are some titles I’ve read:
One I especially have longed to read is The Case of the Hollywood Who-Done-It. Just by glimpsing at the covers of some books, I instantly want to read them. That’s what happened with me and this book. I have wanted to read it since I first got introduced to it, let alone The New Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley alone. These are good books, and there is at least half a shelf full of these books at the Portage District Library, or maybe even more. They’re in the back of the Juvenile Room (no, not prison), at the Paperback Collection (along with titles like Chillers and Goosebumps), because the first two words of “Katschke” are KA, and the K-Z’s, about, get in the Paperback Collection. My thoughtful estimate. So today, maybe tomorrow, get to the Portage District Library and check out at least one of these books. Well, you don’t have to, like it’s a requirement that you mustn’t neglect. Boys can dwell off, while excited girls with flee to the PDL. But if you’re a girly dude…
There’s literally magic in every page that hooks me in like Scorpion’s spear…GET OVER HERE!
So, GET OVER to the PDL and get a Mary Kate & Ashley book.
Hey guys it’s Sam again at Sammwak…where homework..oh, jeez, you get the point.
So anyways, you know Weezer right? Like such as in “Say It Ain’t So” Weezer? Well, they just released their new album like a week ago, and it’s called Hurley. What do you expect on the cover?:
That’s right; a picture of Lost survivor Hugo “Hurley” Reyes. I am completely confused (you can “find out” here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurley_(album)#Artwork_and_title), but I’m sure in the future, it’ll make sense. Now since I got across a new Fred video when him and Weezer “went to the Moon”, I got so excited and outgoing with that album that I decided to “advertise” it for all of you.
What? I like Weezer.
So anyways, you can download this album from iTunes (I believe) for free, so that link will be at the bottom of this post. So um, anyways, um…uh…Lost = epic win FTW?
Anyways, I think that’s about it. (Sorry these posts are always short ) Thanks for reading today’s post. Make sure to like it, and if you want 2, subscribe so u can receive notifications of new posts via email. So uh, thanks again.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to…answer the commenter question, which is: Weezer FTW?
Leave your creative or interesting responses in the…oh jeez, you know the drill.