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Hey it’s Sam, and I sincerely apologize for my absence from Sammwak. I had to go on a trip, and now I’m in Peoria, IL as I speak! Today we’re taking a look at another “superior” Sonic game. I experienced the demo of this game first (which absolutely rocked!), then the full game. Today, our subject is 2008′s action platformer, Sonic Unleashed. (What, I cannot do online and video games in one segment?)

In just a handful of words to describe Unleashed: A total waste of twenty bucks. Yes, it was that bad. The demo took me as far as the ground. The actual game didn’t do that. It dragged me through excruciatingly punishing difficulties, pestiferous characters, and repeated controls. I really didn’t enjoy the game, and I haven’t even finished the game to date. See what I mean? It’s just too hard. Oh, I need to tell you about the plot.

Well, it starts when Eggman shoots the world with an enormous ray gun. Predictably, Earth breaks apart, but with a side effect: at night, when the moon is out and full, Sonic transforms into his grotesque beastly form…Sonic the Werehog! Dealing with adventures day and night, Sonic has to restore the world to normal after Eggman’s mass destruction.

Every one of Sega’s releases starring that supersonic blue hedgehog carry the hope of picking up the pace that made Sonic a star in the 90s. And every destined venture through Sega’s front door has ended in various degrees of tripping out the back. 2006′s Sonic the Hedgehog met unanimously negative reviews, and Sonic Heroes had some negative points critics had to point out. But Unleashed stooped up to brand new roots of failure. Not only did I feel like the game droned on and on, but it lacked what every platformer had to have: fun. That’s unforgivable! And these slews of infinite problems are caught by an achy shaky camera. All of these mean there is basically no point in playing Unleashed.

Even Sonic himself is disappointed by the failure of his own game.

The werehog levels were definitely unfinished. And they took longer than the classic, and enjoyable, sprint-to-the-finish races. You couldn’t toggle day and night like The Sims 3 let you. And you might have the vigorous ability to send enemies flying with a flaming punch from your stretchy arm, but it didn’t feel that cool, and besides; you’d have to keep doing that for the whole night. Sure you’ll go places, but only in the method of mindlessly mashing the attack button until they explode into rings and whatnot. And the enemies either lack some good AI, or are menacingly challenging. They stand around until you feel like putting the hurt on them. Sock them until they explode. The most common factor for defeating tiny enemies, and one that will never evolve.

Sonic in his werehog form.

In the pictured form, and as I told you, you earn stretchable arms and the ability to grab onto ledges. It’s an essential thing to have when wandering in these stages. And the camera can get restricted when a line of sight is necessary. And since the punishing is so quick, these can rid you life after life in bouts of frustration.

And there are also townsfolk standing around that you can talk to; just be prepared for the boring, bitter aftertaste. I really did not like one bit of the game except for its truthfully proficient graphics. :D So let’s scroll down the list of what Unleashed was taken back by:

  • Repetitive, iterative combat that gets super old, super fast.
  • It’s impossible to talk to townsfolk without getting pestered or bored.
  • Punishing difficulty, which makes the game impossible to beat. What did we do?
  • A lousy camera restricts a good view when you need it.
  • Nighttime levels will take forever to get through.
  • The designs for levels are hideous, especially at night.

And let’s take a look at some of the tarnishing demerits Unleashed got for its trouble!

Annoying Characters - Maybe it’s a lazy facial expression or two. Maybe it’s that pestering voice you have to hear every time. But this demerit only goes out to games worthy of characters who really put the “pest” in “pestiferous.”

Bad Controls - It can differ to overly hard control to overly unresponsive abilities, but something in that controller/joystick/whatever is so jacked up, that you just might want to say, “Controller/joystick/whatever, meet wall!”

Shallow - Some games make up the “negative extreme”, and others reach new lows of that negative extreme. When it just varies to mashing the same thing for a couple minutes, or having to repeat every action from start to finish, you might be playing a Shallow game.

Poor Camera – One of the aggravating things games can do is obscure the way it catches the footage of the game, lacking the ability to show a good view of what’s going on, let alone keep up with any necessary action. Games like this “win” our “award.”

Difficultly Punishing - Sure the ideal boss fight, like Mario vs. Bowser, can put up a good fight. But when games push it too far, you end up making a fool out of yourself. This game would’ve been more appealing if it reduced the Haterade and punishing difficulty.

Disappointing - The ordinary mediocre game can be shaken off in a matter of time. But when games really don’t live up to the potential markets, gamers, and retailers alike, they earn this demerit for their trouble.

Unworthy Value - Expensive games that aren’t worth the huge price, as well as the short and repetitive, come short in the value column. There are more efficient ways to spend your precious cash, but we don’t say the game stinks.

This was something I played in the demo that got me HOOKED. Guess it wasn't worth it!

I guess the final verdict for Sonic Unleashed is a “terrible” 3 out of 10. Worse than Super Smash Flash 2, literally the worst crossover a man can play! I would’ve felt like getting a refund, but, unfortunately, Video Hits Plus went out of business. >:( “Although it runs aground on sleek visuals, Sonic Unleashed is an awful adventure with a poor camera, dreadful controls, pestiferous characters, the list goes on.” This game was supposed to revive all of the negative downfalls Sega suffered, but it’s just become a member of the heap.

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Check back for more Gamecritical posts, as well as the other humor that hooked the hemisphere of WordPress, right here on Sammwak! ;)

p.s. This post is sponsored by Sprintz Sports Gum. When you need to go for the gold when it comes to speed, pick Sprintz. Sprintz Sports Gum, now with 10% less liver damage…and the sweet smell of lemons!



There are lots of people out there that love shooters. Some are used to the brutal bloodbaths of Call of Duty or Halo, while others like to take it easy with games like Kane & Lynch or Crysis. But there are those other games that mix it up. Speaking of those games, one is coming out soon, but not very soon. Actually May 10, to be exact. This a treat from Splash Damage, whom specialize in shooters, as well as Valve Corp, famous for series like Left 4 Dead and Team Fortress. The revolution begins with the new third-person shooter, Brink.

The main story of the game takes place in the utopian city of The Ark, a floating city surrounded by the waters from a flooded Earth. The Ark is where two factions named “Resistance” and “Security” fight to the death, either fighting for the Ark or uniting/defending The Ark. Up to sixteen can play this online. My own brother described Brink as a mixture of Mass Effect, Monday Night Combat, and Mirror’s Edge. How it resembles Mass Effect is that it’s some weird crazy sci-fi shooter, and you can play as bots and weirdos like that. Monday Night Combat is resembled since you can actually pick a CHARACTER CLASS to be for the game: the operative, whose job is to sabotage the other team, hacking turrets and such, the medic, whose job is to heal, revive, and buff teammates, the soldier, whose job is to specialize in warfare and weaponry, and the engineer, whose job is to defend tactical zones, improve weapons, and more. How it looks like Mirror’s Edge is the heavy use of parkour, which they smartly conceal by passing it as the system of SMART: Smooth Movement Across Random Terrain.

People are saying that Brink is the shooter that we have been waiting for. But is it really worth its puffed-up proud price of nearly $60 at GameStop? Let’s find out.

So, personally, now, do you think that Brink is worth your hard-earned cash…SH, caSH?

Check out YouTube or your local surroundings for more about Brink, and I’ll join you next time here on Sammwak!! ;)

-Sam

p.s. Did you know that the release dates of Brink kept getting bumped up and down? It went in this order: fall 2010, bumped up to May 13, 2011, bumped back to May 10, 2011. :D



Do you love action? Do you love Cartoon Network? Do you love watching action ON Cartoon Network? Congratulations. Your night has come. That’s right; calling all action-lovers, brace yourselves for tomorrow night…it’s a whole night of slam-bang actions on Cartoon Network! 4 shows will be aired, which I know isn’t a lot. But those titles are…

Generator Rex

A creation of “Man of Action”, this animated action stars an amnesiac hero voiced by Spy Kid Daryl Sabara (Juni, anyone?).

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

The sci-fi action TV series still running off of the 2008 CGI movie of the same name, which critics are still saying was pretty suckish.

Young Justice

A new action series on Cartoon Network adapted from the actual DC Comics superhero team of the same name. Sixteen teenager heroes are noted to be part of the group, counting the mentors.

Ben 10: Alien Force

Another unforgettable creation of “Man of Action” (see Generator Rex) that is the 3rd incarnation of Ben 10 so far. You have heard of Ben, right? The kid that can turn into different alien forms? Yeah, that’s him.

Fasten your seatbelts, action-hoarders! Because you have a whole night to hoard that’s full of what you love. Oh, me? I’ll probably skip the show (I’m not an action-hoarder; no offense) and do other more important stuff. Not that the show’s not important, it’s just…oh, you see my point.

So, action night begins Friday at 8/7c (I think)! If the time is different, don’t blame me. Oh, well. I guess that’s all I have to tell you about. Oh, wait! Stay tuned for a big surprise coming to Sammwak. I’m sure it’ll blow you away…

- Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam and if you’ve seen Cartoon Network, you’ve probably heard of this show. I’ve become a new fan of it. Like, really. I’ve caught all the episodes on-demand, and I’m willing to catch more off-demand. What time is it? Well, it, my friend, is ADVENTURE TIME.

This is one of the “new” shows introduced to Cartoon Network in September. It was actually based on a short that became an Internet sensation before it was brought to TV in April. If you don’t know what it’s about, I pity you. It’s about this 12-year old human boy named Finn who somewhat enjoys kicking evil forces in their hineys, and is skilled at all types of combat. It is a mystery, but all we know is that he was born from a cabbage. He really has blonde hair, but he wears an ‘awesome hat’ to conceal it. He’ll outburst and strangely exclaim anything he pleases, and is also bad at math, although he can blurt out stuff like, “Mathematical!”, “Algebraic!”, and “Rhombus!” And here’s the thing that makes me jealous for Finn. Since he ate this small computer, whenever he sings, he sings Auto-tune! Yeah, like Ke$ha! And the thing that makes me super-jealous is that he has a 28-year old (in “magical dog years”) dog named Jake that has cool magic powers! Not so majesto! (That’s what my eldest sister says to mean, “Cool!”) Along the way, this dynamic dog-and-dude duo meet characters like:

Princess Bubblegum, the ruler of Candy Kingdom and the love interest of Finn. Yes, Finn does too have a crush on her.

Ice King, the ruler of Ice Kingdom and the kidnapper of princesses, forcing them to marry him. I know, vague and disgusting, right? If you catch him sky high with his beard, flee. Or else he could zap you into a block of ice with his ‘frozen lightning bolts’! Fear his population of snow and ice monsters, but when you come in contact with his horrifying Ice-o-pede…nighty-night.

Lady Rainicorn - This creepy unicorn-rainbow crossover unicorn that turns out to be Jake’s boyfriend. Her horn can turn things various colors. Oh, and she speaks Korean! Yeah, you heard me. She speaks KOREAN, like “Annyeonghaseyo!” and “Annyeong!”

Lots more crazy stuff happen when it’s adventure time. Catch Adventure Time Monday nights on Cartoon Network!

L8trs, Sam

p.s. If anyone asks you, you didn’t hear it from me.

 



Hey guys it’s Sam and you should know The Sims 3 by now. It’s a life-simulation game brought to you by Electronic Arts, or EA, where you customize a humanoid avatar aka a “Sim” in a select town where you get a job, have a relationship, get married, have kids, and vice versa. It’s exactly a resemblance from that to the real life. Except Sims don’t speak English. They speak their own language, ‘Simmish”, to be exact. So this means every TV channel, is all in Simmish, from Cookin’ Cable to Fishing Fracas to even Sports Universe and Terror TV. And it won’t be long before you find out Simmish music, such as rockabilly, soul, and even hip-hop. But let’s stop talking turkey and talk ham. Because the latest expansion pack (the past packs were World Adventures, and Ambitions) just released a couple months ago, back in late October. It’s what I’d like to call…Late Night.

If you’ve played The Sims 2: Nightlife, you have a good image of this game. Heck, you could even call it The Sims 3: Nightlife. This game is like a bat. Quiet at day, active at night. So is this game. There’s probably more to do at night then at day. You could get your groove on at Aquarius, the local dance club of Bridgeport. You could hit a film career and be an outstanding actor or actress. Oh, and speaking of Bridgeport, it’s the new city with “all the good stuff.” It came with the game, like Twinbrook came with Ambitions. This is a pic of Bridgeport:

Can’t you feel the high-tech already? I can. Oh, and the vampires are back. And the bars of a regular Sim is Hunger, Hygiene, Social, Fun, and Bladder. Vampires don’t hunger. They THIRST. Isn’t it kind of obvious? They can only satisfy this by collecting Plasma, or, for humanity, blood. But vampires can also depend on Plasma fruits or even Plasma packs. But the thing is, if you wanna feed, you gotta ASK. That’s kind of pointless, because you know everyone’s gonna say NO.

My Sim is that lucky, athletic, virtuoso kind of man. His name? Sam Harris. I’ve named almost every one of my Sims after me. He already hit a job as an actor, and he previously got promoted for a Best Boy, despite the fact that they aren’t the best and typically aren’t always boys. Eh, what the heck? If you gotta roll with it, roll with it. Surfers gotta surf. Teachers gotta teach. Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you this. There are Celebrity Points in this game. If you got 5 stars, you’re a celebrity. Congrats. I only got 2 or 3 Points, so don’t rub it in my face. In The Sims 2, some people were likely enough to use a hot tub nude, at least without children or teenagers in the area. But in Late Night, this has been brought to the next level…meet skinny-dipping. What is it? It’s swimming nude, basically. You can even swim in legitimate pools now. Your clothes will be a heap at the poolside. But here’s the gimmick. Celebrities can snag a skinny-dipper’s clothes! Those Sims will have to walk around in a towel. But you gotta have stealth to pull it off. A stealthy celeb is the key. Paparazzi could photograph you in the act, and who knows what the skinny-dipper will do to you once they find out? Maybe punch your lights out? Pop a vein through your nose? Brawl you so hard, a cloud of mist forms? But note that only grown-ups can skinny-dip, and they can’t dip when children and teens are in the area. Skinny-dipping will eventually get you the “Exhilarated” moodlet. At least it did for me.

You also have zodiac signs? What is your Sim gonna be? An Aries? A Taurus? A Gemini? A Cancer? A Leo? A Virgo? A Lebra? A Scorpio? A Sagittarius? A Capricorn? An Aquarius? Or a Pisces? I can’t decide for all of you when I have almost 2,000 hits. BTW very impressive! It warms my heart when I see, more and more people are liking me! Seeing me, a nobody, turn into a somebody, it makes me grin! So does Emoti. :D

Buy your copy today, or just slap it on your wishlist! Maybe Santa Claus will do the trick…

L8trs, Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam and remember Monday Night Combat? And remember Spunky Cola? Remember, energy. Loaded.

Well, guess what? MNC finally got some DLC (down-loadable content) for their game…THE SPUNKY COLA DLC!

That’s right. Featuring new arenas, new modes, and a special balanced tweak to increase the fun, the new Spunky Cola DLC is here! It actually released today, December 1, and it’s pretty downright fun. Here are some new features the regular game wouldn’t have, but the Spunky Cola DLC does:

The new Spunky Cola Crossfire arena! Made for the Synthetic Sugar Accord, it puts players into the action quicker for more explosions, more shooting and more epic!

The new Survivitol Blitz Arena!: Thanks to Grandma Betty’s (the old-fashioned way to aim), the new Survivitol arena is a new feature within the Spunky Cola DLC. Small and deadly with 2 tiers of bot spawners keep pros on their feet! And remember, whatever happens you have got Survivitol and they do not…SURVIVITOL!

The new Super Sudden Death Blitz!: Only in the Survivitol Arena will you fight to defend your Moneyball in the epic, intense, deadly, and frantic…SUPER SUDDEN DEATH BLITZ!!!

Added in new options for private games:

  • Set game duration
  • Set overtime duration, including 0 time for no overtime
  • Toggle buying bots
  • Toggle buying Juice
  • Toggle Bullseye spawning
  • Toggle using Hazards (Annihilator / Ejectors)
  • Choose specific or random map
  • Hazards on / off
  • Force random classes
  • Toggle use of custom classes
  • Toggle class changing
  • Class limits on all classes

Also, a new pit girl is featured for the Icemen, along with updated level intros and outros.

All Star Mode
  • Added a feature that allows players to go beyond level 99 by going back to level 0 and getting a new “All Star” icon next to their name.

Highlights

  • Added in 12 new highlights with associated ProTags.

Career Milestones

  • Added career milestones and ProTags for bacon pickups.
  • Added career milestones and ProTags for killing each type of class.

And one of my favorite features…CHURROS!!!!!!

That’s right fans. Your favorite fried-dough pastry snack is now a new feature in the Spunky Cola DLC. Churros instantly boost skill regen and health once picked up. I myself have picked up a churro as a Tank.

Also, there’s a new 4-player Club Tag that you can append to your name. Also, some South Paw and South Paw Tactical control schemes have been added. There’s also multiplayer ready functionality so a game can start before the timer runs out if most players press X in the lobby and set themselves as ready. Also, several new loading movies appear, such as a Support riding a Bouncer, both the Hotshot and Icemen pit-girls high-fiving and chest bumping each other, and the Icemen pit-girl trying to free a poor Tank, who has his tongue stuck on a Shaveice.

Ha! Gets me every time. If you just saw this picture, comment/email me ‘I just saw the aftermath of a Tank kissing a Shaveice.’ Silly Tank. Shaveices are for slowing down, not for kissing. Maybe you’re mistaking that turret for someone else…

Anyways, that’s about all I can blog about the DLC before my fingers get sore and I have to drench them in ice-cold water. How do you stop that? Subscribe or like my posts. It’s a donation to the Sam Mwakasisi Getting-Sore-Hands-and-Drenching-Them-in-Ice-Cold-Water Fund. Together, you can help stop my fingers from getting sore.

L8trs, Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam, and there’s a new post, HOORAY! My computer has Internet, and now I can post an epic new post! YAY! Starting today, I’ll put up some “pro tips” for Xbox 360 games that I may own, in or out of Xbox LIVE Arcade. And, yes, today’s pro-tip game is inside XBLA…it’s Monday Night Combat.

I know I’ve talked about it in the past, but I’ve seen that there are some strategies to become a better combatant. So it’s fun to show off fully-upgraded skills, but then you realize you have zero to not enough money to build turrets, and bots will be afoot. So bots will leave behind a few coins, and maybe some juice. Don’t just scramble to collect it, and start shooting bots again. USE YOUR MONEY! Build it on turrets you think will be a big help in the battle, especially in Crossfires or intense Blitzes. You simply can’t have more than $500 not building turrets. Some of you may have your own ways, but I am putting my foot down on it. If you have more than $1000 not building turrets…son, I am disappoint.

PRO-TIPS

If you’re an Assassin (which I greatly disapprove of), grapples are more effective from the back. Surprise your unaware opponents or Black Jacks. It’s at least better killing then being killed.

If you’re a Support (thumbs up, btw), you might think about putting up a Firebase or two. Firebases could work in Crossfires, or Blitzes, even the really light ones like Exhibition and Season. Firebases are planted by pressing Y. It’s as simple as that. Just a peck of the Y button. No holding. Just a peck. Firebases are also taken out by pressing Y. So when you’re directly by a Firebase, think. Will you hack into it so it will have a better range and rate of its fires? Or will you take it out so you will plant it in a safer place that’s not bot-infested? Like in real life, THINK. Because Firebases may just save your life when you’re being pounded to a pulp by a Bouncer.

If you’re an Assault (my guy), you might think about using your grenade launcher mostly, and not just your assault rifle. Especially with Slims. A couple bullets will take out one Slim, but for me, a grenade destroys 2 in a row. Conserve your bullets. Waste your grenades. That’s the Sammwak way.

…..

Hungry for more Pro-Tips? Comment/email me the game you want me to pro-tip, and you could be responsible for the next postful of pro-tips! Don’t know how? Select this post and scroll all the way to the bottom. There should be a Leave a Comment box waiting for you right there.

L8trs, Sam

 


 



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