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The last time we met over this, we were discussing how Adventure Time had crunched their entire first season into a 2-disc DVD, and how Regular Show crunched their most memorable episodes into their “Slack Pack” DVD. Well, believe it or not, just hours after the release of that post, I found more news. And I was flabbergasted when I saw that I’d have to be making a sequel to my already successful original. No, Adventure Time‘s second season DVD hasn’t come out yet. And no, Regular Show hasn’t made a proper first season DVD yet. They’re season-jumping once more–and this time may be the best of all.

I don’t even KNOW how to describe this cover. Were they, like, holding an art contest and picked the most disgusting entry they found?

The upcoming Adventure Time pack, Jake vs. Me-Mow (the third pack yet to be named after an episode), is probably the most intriguing non-season DVD yet. Like its predecessor, It Came from the Nightosphere, this DVD has 16 episodes that jump from the first to fourth seasons. I’m pretty sure they managed to cram it all onto one disc this time, but this time around is special–it comes with your own Finn hat! Imagine walking through school wearing this new dig–y’know, if they allow hats. Imagine how many friends you’ll score–y’know, if they’re into Adventure Time. Now, there’s not much time before the DVD releases, as it’s coming out this week on October 2. But it’ll probably have the most sales a random-compilation DVD’s ever gotten–a majority of it likely being for that darn hat! Now, as always, let’s peer through the episodes that you’ll need to be expecting on the DVD list. (Some of the episodes are season-one titles that I’ve already talked about, so let’s rule those ones out right now: “The Jiggler”, “What is Life?”, “His Hero”, and “Ocean of Fear”. Now, on with the show!)

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  • Jake vs. Me-Mow” (S3 E16) – As the titular episode of the DVD, it is likely the most exceptional, important, and unique one to date. Especially since the title card and character of Me-Mow herself was developed by a wee Adventure Timer named Gunnar Gilmore! The show’s creator, Pendleton “Pen” Ward, accepted the idea since it was “so cute and was drawn by a tiny kid.” Well, I bet with enough work my drawings will be the basis of an Adventure Time episode one day! :-x Anyway, the premise of the episode is that Jake is pigging out on one of Wildberry Princess’s pies, right? And all of a sudden, a tiny cat assassin named–obviously–Me-Mow appears in his pie. After introducing herself, the cat states that she is just a second-class assassin, and would get a full membership after the murder of a princess. So she hides in Jake’s nose, taking her poison syringe with her, and literally controls Jake into killing the Princess or getting killed himself…

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  • Susan Strong” (S2 E18) – While uprooting taffy-tree stumps, Finn and Jake come across a strange metal hatch in the ground. They follow its path to an underground garbage-infested cave, which is actually inhabited with the tribe of the “Hyoomans”. (Sound it out. :-?) Among these Hyoomans is one Hyooman that Finn and Jake focus solely on. As Finn had mentioned the sun coming down into the cave, she tells them “su-sun” when they ask for her name, which is interpreted as Susan. After seeing her inhuman strength, F & J ultimately name her Susan Strong. When they decide to bring Susan to the surface to teach them about the world surrounding them–like with any beginner–they get more than they bargained for, and eventually they have to stop Susan from getting to the Candy Kingdom to–you know. :(

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  • Belly of the Beast” (S2 E16) – When Finn and Jake’s Tree Fort gets all shook up, rudely awakening them from their slumbers, they find a firework-spewing beast outside the fort. After hearing cries from inside the beast, they decide to venture inside the behemoth’s body to rescue the victim–the victim actually being a bear who needs help putting up streamers. In fact, inside the monster’s stomach F & J find themselves inside an entire bear rave complete with flashing lights and fireworks, every partygoer seeming oblivious to the rave’s location. When they fail to get any attention with their statement, they decide to reconcile with the party’s patriarch–heh heh, its “party”-triarch–Party Pat (Andy Samberg), whom resides at the “blood waterbed” that is the beast’s heart. And besides, if Pat leaves, everyone follows. And not even a syrupy duet ballad from the two can save the bears from their possible fates. Let’s just say it involves a lot of lava… :lol:

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  • Video Makers” (S2 E23) – You may not know it, but Finn and Jake hold their own annual nightly Finn and Jake Movie Club at their tree fort. Tonight they’re showing old Mushroom War-era flicks (the War was what made Ooo look all post-apocalyptic-y), but one thing is restricting them–and if you guessed copyrighting, you were correct. Realizing that they’ve been committing criminal actions of illegally showing copyrighted movies, they decide to cancel for the night (despite Jake believing the pre-War copyright was powerless) and eventually find a video camera after the Club, and decide to show their own movies at the club. The next day, Finn, Jake, BMO, and Princess Bubblegum all work together to create a movie. But while Finn wants a tense action-adventure, Jake–surprisingly–wants a syrupy romcom. :neutral: And with every piece of footage Finn makes come criticism from Jake, and with every piece of footage Jake makes comes criticism from Finn, and so on. And left with the prestigious job of editor, BMO’s got his hands full over what to do–until he decides to quit the fight through the movie. (This episode will ultimately leave you saying “Check please”. Don’t ask why–unless you’re willing to put what you think that means in the comment section below.)

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  • Mortal Folly” (S2 E24) – After a session of meditating on the balcony, Finn and Jake are given special gems from Princess Bubblegum like the one in her tiara, set to protect them at where they were just about to go–the chamber of an evil sorcerer known as the Lich King, currently trapped in an amber prison. The gems’ protection purposes were that just staring at the Lich without this gem would possess you, similar to how anyone who dared to stare at Medusa turned to stone. Unfortunately, at this time the Waving Snail (you might have seen him in Easter eggs cameos in select episodes) crawls in, gets possessed, and slowly breaks the Lich’s amber prison and sets him free! Only left with the gems, the Gauntlet of Billy (Ooo’s greatest hero), and a pink sweater (for Finn as a token of affection, obviously), Finn and Jake must venture on what must be their most dangerous journey yet to prevent the Lich from regaining all his power. At the same time, they must break through an equally dangerous problem–the Ice King with his persistent pesters to receive a blessing to marry PB.

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  • Mortal Recoil” (S2 E25) – Now, I’m gonna have to spoil what happened at the end of “Mortal Folly” or else “Mortal Recoil” really won’t make much sense. Y’see, after the Lich’s defeat, the Ice King decided to pick up PB to “set her free”–but only clumsily and rather stupidly dropped her into the Lich’s Well of Power. The effect of the boiling well melted her body through–remember, she’s Princess Bubblegum–but, despite what the title card foreshadows, she did not die. She was rushed to the Candy Kingdom’s hospital, and (in a scene resembling your average super-cheesy medical drama) she was thankfully revived although she briefly flatlined. Tons of people came to see her recover, including Finn, Jake, and the Ice King. And Finn got a new pack courtesy of the princesses as a token for beating the Lich! Finn’s really put the Ice King on his blacklist now–this was clearly seen at the hospital–but he and Jake offer to nurse PB back to health. But they find some strange occurings in PB’s behavior, like crawling, heavy breathing, convulsions and other spasms. But as the day goes on, it is shown that the Well really left its mark on PB, turning her into an altered beast that Finn and Jake must fight to save Ooo and every single lifeform in it.

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  • Too Young” (S3 E5) – (This episode was nominated for a 2012 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short-Format Animated Program!) Now, I’ll have to spoil the finale of “Mortal Recoil” or else “Too Young” won’t make any sense. I know, total déjà vu, right? Or maybe extreme inception. Anyway, in “Recoil”‘s finale, PB was finally reassembled–but due to a shortage of pieces, she got a slight case of “Benjamin Button’s disease” and jumped back 5 years of age. This makes her ultimately thirteen–coincidentally, Finn’s age as well. Unfortunately, her age drop makes her too young to run the Candy Kingdom, so the Earl of Lemongrab takes her place. And he’s just as sour as he looks, his plots with the Kingdom and all. So PB and Finn are forced to cook up a plan to get Lemongrab out of here, even if it means making a decision that will change their lives forever. Ew, sounds like something I read off the back of a romance novel. :(

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  • Five Short Graybles” (S4 E2) – Now, this is probably the most unique Adventure Time episode yet. In fact, I’m not sure you could even call it an adventure at all. A strange man named Cuber shows you five short “Graybles” that are all connected in an initially unseen way that the viewer(s) must decipher. The Graybles are:
  • After hearing that Finn and Jake would be visiting the “grocery kingdom” for the hour, BMO decides to look in the mirror and share a conversation with his imaginary pal Football, impressing him with his “real boy” characteristics. (Wow, that makes me wonder if Pinocchio did this in his spare time. :D)
  • After wrapping up the first Grayble, Finn and Jake decide to celebrate by high-fiving. But it’s not enough. So throughout the second Grayble, Finn and Jake keep upping the amps with the caliber of their high-fives, until they come out with the “super ultimate high-five“.
  • PB attempts to craft the “perfect sandwich” for Cinnamon Bun using: cheese from a centrifuge-spun cow, lettuce from a chemically/perfectly shrunk head of lettuce, tomato from a jellyfish-balloon hybrid in a transportation machine, and bread from an incantation. She eventually deems the sandwich “the most ultimate sandwich that ever existed and ever will exist.”
  • Ice King decides to send Gunter away due to his “nasty booty” stinking up his ice fortress, but he eventually finds that it’s not Gunter that stinks–it’s him. So, after a shower accompanied with penguin pit-scrubbing, he apologizes to a soaked Gunter but finds the answer to why his pits so abruptly stank…
  • Lumpy Space Princess is sure that her rendition of “These Lumps” would dominate the Candy Kingdom Talent Show. But when the act before her plays the exact same song (and rather well, at that) she is roped into an awkward and sticky situation. But when she discovers an unexpected and unseen talent, she catches the win from MC Peppermint Butler–well, until Finn and Jake finish their “super ultimate high five”.

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  • Thank You” (S3 E17) – (This episode was nominated for a 2012 Annie Award for Best Animated Special Production!) They celebrated Christmas with “Holly Jolly Secrets”, they celebrated Halloween with titles like “From Bad to Worse”, now they actually celebrated last year’s Thanksgiving! And they celebrated it with a truly heartwarming and unique premise: the Snow Golem makes his third and most crucial appearance in this episode (after the original short and “Prisoners of Love”, respectively) as he decides to make his tranquil life a bit more exciting by taking a lost Fire Wolf pup under his wing. The message of the episode is that, no matter how much snow melts you get, even the most differentiated pair can share a strong friendship. Meanwhile, Finn and Jake are fruitlessly attempting to break through the Ice King’s armor layers to get back for having their sandwiches stolen. In the name of all that’s on TV, why do these two get so worked up over small things like sandwich theft?!

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  • Goliad” (S4 E10) – Eternal life is, obviously, impossible to achieve for any normal human. But it is possible as long as you’re someone like God, Jesus, or Skips. And it’s even gotten to PB’s head what the Candy Kingdom would do when she was gone–especially after her brush with death in “Mortal Folly”. So she creates her successor and heir to her throne, which she shows to Finn and Jake. This heir is Goliad, a Candy Sphinx with a mound on her forehead and the voice of a cute little British child. After realizing that PB’s been up for more than 3 days in a row constructing and teaching Goliad without a wink of sleep, Finn and Jake decide to monitor Goliad. They take her down to a preschool where they build an obstacle course–f-for the kids, not Goliad. But when Jake is forced to yell at the kids to stop them from assaulting him, Goliad decides to imitate his harsh ways in the thought of leadership. When Finn tries to convince Goliad to use her mind before her mouth, she reveals the mound on her forehead to be a third eye, which she begins to use for psychically darker purposes…twisted

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Dad’s Dungeon” (S3 E25) –  This feels like nothing but a sequel or follow-up or counterpart or something to “Dungeon” back from season one. Anyway, in the episode Finn and Jake’s dad Joshua (really shoulda watched “Boom Boom Mountain” now, huh?) has them navigate through a fight-filled dungeon meant to toughen Finn–with timely updates from Joshua via Holo-Message Player. Unfortunately, Joshua leaves Jake with his hands tied when he is directed and forced to try and hold back Finn in the dungeon. Although I’m happy their dad’s back, I never thought of him as the antagonist! :-?

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  • The Silent King” (S2 E14) – After Finn and Jake get rid of the spank-happy tyrant of a goblin king, Xergiok, they are taken to the Goblin Kingdom’s palace where they meet the royal goblin chief-of-staff, Gummy. Gummy begs Finn to be the new goblin king, and also tells off that they are ill-accustomed to any act of compassion, since Xergiok spanked their butts so often he could’ve ran away to Sir Mix-a-Lot and made a remix on “Baby Got Back”! Finn initially rejects the offer, but seeing the goblin community would eventually form a riot and then be destroyed without a king, he decides to take the offer with Jake as his “goblin queen”. Gummy shows F & J around the things they are royally entitled to, like a birthing chamber and an advanced gaming system (:D), and also suggests they read the Book of Royal Rules, which they easily don’t. But the next morning, it’s shown that the goblin kingdom rules restrict even the kings to do pretty much anything: brushing their teeth, cutting or chewing their own food, they can’t even help someone who’s being robbed. But Finn wants to show that an active king is a proper king, especially when Xergiok has decided to return…

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So this is all you need to know about the DVD future of Adventure Time. They start hitting stores tomorrow, so save your dollars now and be one of the first to show off their fancy Finn hat! Remember, that’s 16 episodes on one disc for a favorably low price. Pretty soon, I might be telling you about Reg Show‘s DVD future–but who knows if they even have any DVDs planned yet? Well, I’m gonna leave you with that question to ponder upon, and make sure to tune in next time for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak! (Remember, I really don’t know when I’m releasing these days [ugh, school], so make sure you have an active email subscription. If not, start today!)

Stay classy America,

~S~ 8-)

Video of the Week: If any of you ever saw WCG Ultimate Gamer, you may have seen a contestant named Adande–or as his gamertag dubbed him, “Swoozie”. Well, although it’s been a while since WCG, he’s still got a strong YouTube channel today with nearly half a million subscribers and over 60 million video views! But 1/6 of that fame came from one series. An animated coming-of-age comedy series that, altogether, racked up 10 million hits! And 2/5 of that came from this one video. The start of the series. It is Swoozie’s history of–cheating in middle school. But you’ll find that it’s incredibly hilarious cuz it’s true, so go check out some more of Swoozie’s stuff at  (subscribe if possible), but for now shove this in your face.

Not satisfied with your main entree? Try some sides ;):

p.s. I got the idea to put this up—N-n-no, I saw this to begin with thanks to my good friend Henry. Y’see, he’s followed my footsteps (who wouldn’t? :roll:) and started his own blog! Check his awesomeness out @ http://henryyesme.wordpress.com/



Movies, like anything, come in all shapes and sizes. Action-packed movies that are literally their own explosives, drama titles that pull at your heartstrings, horror bloodbaths that’ll leave you jolting your boxes of popcorn instead of enjoying them, comedies that’ll have you laughing until you can’t breathe, etc. But there’s one type of movie that’s barely gotten true honor: the video game genre. Yes, that exists. Probably the only existent “inner gamer” movie has to be The Wizard, a Christmas ’89 title that introduced what would become one of the biggest games in history: Super Mario Bros. 3. And speaking of arcade games, that’s where that story ends, and this new story begins.

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(How many video game characters can you spot? :D)

I have never been so excited for a movie. Um, ever. Directed by the former animation director for both The Simpsons and Futarama, Wreck-It Ralph, the 52nd Disney Animated Feature and the first of 2012 (the 51st being last year’s Winnie the Pooh), starts at a typically nostalgic down-the-block arcade. One of the titles in that arcade is Fix-It Felix, Jr., where you play Felix himself and must constantly repair the damages of a building facade while the game’s villain smashes away atop the building. That villain is the 9′-tall, 643-pound Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly), and for three decades he’s been the guy that everyone loved to hate. And Ralph’s tired of that. And to make everyone notice he can be the hero, he literally disappears from the game via power cord and joins the light-gun FPS Hero’s Duty, battling “Cy-Bugs” alongside the game’s own hero, Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch). But he doesn’t spend the whole movie in this game, as he later goes onto a candy-themed kart racer called Sugar Rush, and here he meets one of the game’s main characters, Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman). Vanellope has learned that her game is faced with a threat that could affect the entire arcade. The worst part? Ralph may have started the whole thing.

I was originally gonna come out with a “Top 5 Most Self-Anticipated Movies of the Year” post, but I’ll tell you right here and now, this movie was #1 before the list was even finished. I first came intact with this movie at this year’s Comic-Con, and I’ve been loving it ever since. <3 This movie promises appearances from some of your favorite game characters: Ryu, Ken, M. Bison, Zangief, Chun-Li, Cammy (all Street Fighters), Clyde (one of the Pac Man ghosts), Bowser, Eggman, Kano, Smoke, Q*bert, and it doesn’t even stop there. (This fact about the movie took a page from Roger Rabbit’s 1988 adventure, also from Disney.) There’s a result of over 200 individual models based off these inclusions. Running on a budget of $150 million to possibly make movie history by rejuvenating the game movie genre, this movie luckily had a date shift to November 2 this year, which was originally next March. (Thank goodness!) And to add to that, it also got a major appearance in the latest Game Informer, and Fix-It Felix’s adventure is now available in full-Flash at Ralph’s official site. And–you likely should’ve seen this coming–Wreck-It Ralph will be receiving his own video game on the Wii, DS, and 3DS! This Disney Inter.-Activision project is stated to be a “story extension” to the movie. And to add to that, Ralph will even be featured among the racers in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed! How can you say “game over” to that? Well, Wreck-It Ralphwill premiere November 2 in 3D, but the story’s not quite done yet…and besides, you haven’t seen these Wreck-It Ralph TV spots yet!

 

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This is Disney’s new black-and-white short flick, Paperman. Blending traditional and computer animation, you’ll be able to see this movie directly after Wreck-It Ralph, like La Luna was shown right after Brave. The synopsis states that the movie follows a lonely young man in mid-century NYC, whose destiny takes a turn after meeting a ravishing woman during a morning commute. Convinced the girl of his dreams has slipped through his fingers, he gets a second chance at love when he spots the woman in the window of a skyscraper across the avenue of his office. Armed with love, imagination, and a stack of papers, his efforts show not even close to paralleling his awaiting fates. Hearts will break and papers will fly this fall. Ooh, sounds romantic. Anyway, whether you’re in it or not, you can catch Wreck-It Ralph and Paperman in their premieres this fall, and it’s going to be like watching all those scenes at the end of The Avengers. ;)

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Stay cool,

~S~ 8-)

p.s. Random Video o’ the Week: In the 90s, Goosebumps was hot, Pogs were a fad, Nickelodeon was on fire, and all girls talked about were bands like Hanson, or the Backstreet Boys, or N*SYNC. Now, Goosebumps HorrorLand is the only existent series, Pogs have vanished from the mainstream, and girls are obsessing over people like Justin Bieber and Big Time Rush. Oh, and Nickelodeon still holds a small flame. But you should’ve seen them back in the day. All That, Kenan & Kel, Legends, Figure It Out, Family Double Dare, Clarissa, the list goes on. 90′s kids had it all, and after more than a decade of being in the shadows (excluding SpongeBob, which is still alive, and Figure It Out, which has been revived) it just had to get re-honored in all its nostalgic glory. So TeenNick made The 90′s Are All That last summer. While it’s on every night from 12-2am, with a 2-4am encore right after, at least you can get a taste of how it feels now. (Ever since last August it’s received almost 30k hits.)



Define the word wimp. As a noun, it is “a weak and cowardly or unadventurous person.” I guess that’s how some people may describe Greg Heffley, known to fans as “the Wimpy Kid” of Jeff Kinney’s national bestselling saga, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It first got its start on Funbrain as an original story that was read over twenty million times when it released in 2004. From thence, Kinney decided to make the jump from online to on paper, and he has been a cult for kids since. Plus, he’s doing so good, he’s released 5 other titles, and even a few movies. Now, let’s repeat that: “even a few movies”. The most recent wimpy kid flick came out around St. Patty’s 2011 (the sequel, Rodrick Rules), and from the success of that movie comes the series’ threequel due this summer, and from the looks of it, this is gonna be the best entry yet.

Yep, this trailer just uploaded in April, and it’s already got…not even 20,000 hits. Don’t be fooled by the fact that the new movie’s called Dog Days. No, we didn’t all “skip a movie”. This will interpret features from both The Last Straw and Dog Days. This movie shares most of its storyline with the fourth book: school’s out and Greg’s starting to plan for the summer, when all his plans go awry, leaving him with one question: What on earth is he gonna do for three months? Up the antes in unintended gut-busting humor, that’s what. And yes, Sweetie the dog is going to be in it. This looks like a movie I’d undoubtedly want to see this summer, and hopefully my excitement won’t go up in steam once this movie hits the cinemas. If there were a few differences I spotted in this, it’d be 1) Greg’s voice changed!!!, and 2) Sweetie’s gonna be back. Cool story, bro. And for possibly the first time, Heather Hills, Holly’s older sister, is gonna be in the movie. She will be portrayed by Melissa Roxburgh, whom you probably don’t know. The movie’s filming was in Vancouver (much like the two previous films), from August to October 2011, and it will officially be PG according to Box Office Mojo, citing “some rude humor”. And hopefully it will sell well and continue the series’ multi-million-selling streak, with a combination of $116 million of lifetime gross revenue. Oh, did I forget to show you the teaser poster?

Make sure to mark your calendars for August 3, 2012, because on that very day, something wimpy is going down. Well, that’s all for this week, but make sure to subscribe, like, rate, comment, and reblog often! Same thing @ 2Sam2Mwak!

- Sam

p.s. Can you feel the love? Greg can in this year’s untitled & upcoming seventh Wimpy Kid title. As the tagline of the announcement poster is “Love is in the air”, we can assume that this ranges around Valentine’s Day. Despite this, the book’s due to come this Thanksgiving, so mark your calendars for that too.

p.p.s. Would You Rather o’ the Week: Would you rather be shot by an arrow from Cupid, or be shot by an arrow from an underwear-wearing Greg with fake wings plastered on his back, so it’s more like he’s trying to kill you than get you lovestruck?

p.p.s.s. Random Video o’ the Week: Some people are very intimate with the kinds of musical YouTube videos they watch, and they usually tire quickly of the usual. But luckily through remixing tech, they can shut their pieholes with the amount of enjoyment they’ll receive. But they can only admire the highest levels of remixes. And on this note, that level belongs to Fagottron, more famously known as Pogo. This video just came out this January, and it’s already past 3 million hits due to how good it is. This is so darn good, I’ll have to bury a YouTube treasure to dig up in the future for this! (Check out this guy’s channel for more sweet remixes, and please do like this post for a very worthy suggestion. C’mon, you know you want to, do it for ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGA!)



Hey guys it’s Sam, and it’s time for our first-ever episode of gaming news! I know, gaming new’s been a part of Sammwak’s lore for a long time. Actually, one of the first posts on Sammwak was about Left 4 Dead. But it’s time to take that knowledge to a whole ‘notha [level]. And that’s what our segment 1st Person is for; all the news that’s fit to–no, um, it’s the largest source for–no, that’s GameSpot’s slogan. Um, while I think of a catchphrase, how about we get to our first game and find out the first piece of news in our series premiere.

There are a lot of games out there for the Xbox Live Arcade, open since the Christmas month of 2004. Through its eight years of existence, some really good and bad XBLA titles have come to be. Some good examples include the ‘Splosion Man duo, Limbo, and Super Meat Boy. Some bad examples include Zombie WranglersTour de France 2009, and Blazing Birds. And another bad example might include the recently released title Warp, the second “XBLA House Party” released for the XBLA, PS3, and PC. In this game, you control an inhuman character named Zero, who seemingly looks like he was a rejected de Blob sidekick. Zero is taken to a military-grade facility, where he fades in and out of consciousness and at one point awakens to find that he is being operated on, having a disc-shaped object extracted from him. Soon after, through telepathic procedures, a fellow alien contacts our hero, saying that it can sense other aliens in the facility and planning the duo’s great escape. Zero then proceeds to fulfill his title as a facility escapee under your control, helping any aliens on the way, but not before reabsorbing that disc. It may seem kinda cute, but this game fulfills its M-rated properties: Warp seems like the perfect name for this game, not only manifesting our hero’s eponymous attack (where he warps through walls and even through people & objects), but also of the game’s oddly balanced warp between violence and cuteness.

A hybrid between stealth, action, and puzzle, Warp is one of two currently-released titles from the Canadian indie developer Trapdoor Inc., the other being Fez for the rarely-known PlayStation-esque NES hardware clone, the PolyStation. Considering Trapdoor has clearly not had much taste in the more popular gaming culture, can Warp be their first success?…Well, kind of. GameSpot’s Jeremiah Johnson said that although the game had merits (enjoyable puzzles, charming balance of gore and cuteness, superb visuals, tough leaderboard challenge rooms), it also had its flaws, like clunky controls and some trial-and-error puzzles. On high, he said that it was an “entertaining top-down puzzler” that was still, however, weighed down. He gave the game a 6.5/10, which ranks as “fair” on the meter, an above-average level. Users were slightly more positive, upping the ranks to 7.2. IGN’s Daemon Hatfield was a lot more positive for the game, however. He called it “brainy and amusing”, and despite some hiccups around the final half of the game, he highly recommended it as a “rich, satisfying adventure.” He gave it an 8.5/10, which is not only “great” on the meter, but also received an Editor’s Choice award. So, yeah. IGN really likes this game. Joystiq gave it a 3/5-star score, saying that it wasn’t particularly memorable, and didn’t quite create an identity for itself, and pulled the inspiration from the many corners of gaming’s landscape, and for that reason, Warp got degraded a bit more. Game Informer gave the game a 6.75/10 score, saying that it was “promising at first, but it becomes more tedious as it progresses”. They said the simple factors of the game weren’t enough to make a standout in the Arcade, and that anyone looking to go deeper should choose a different game. Overall, Warp overall may have fatal flaws that push it back, but it does have its moments. Approach the game with caution.

It’s Manhattan. A viral plague called Blacklight is spreading. The infected become grotesque behemoths on uncontrollable manhunts for the uninfected. You’re an amnesiac mutant, enabled with the power of shape-shifting and absorbing others (known as “consuming”), as well as tremendous power that even allows you to climb up buildings effortlessly. What kind of person are you? You are Alex Mercer, the star of Radical Ent.’s hit of summer 2009, Prototype. Despite its gameplay similarities to other games, it was a critical and commercial success, having enough sales to be inflicted into the Xbox’s Hall of Platinum Hits. And, of course, after that there needed to be a second phase. And so that’s where Prototype 2 comes in, the super-heroic sci-fi sequel. In this game, a man named James Heller goes out to fulfill his goal of eradicating Blacklight, but also plans to terminate a person whom he believes is responsible for the death of his family in the virus outbreak: none other than Alex himself. James practically shares the exact same powers as Alex, although shape-shifting and consumption has become more tactical. Like, if James consumes a soldier, people’s reactions will show they want nothing to do with him. To prevent enemy overwhelm, Radical has included more down-to-earth AI, as well as weapon use, like fending off using a freshly-ripped tank cannon.

Prototype 2, in my eyes, looks like a good game. But is it?…Somewhat yes. IGN’s Greg Miller quoted that the said game “[had] no impact”, and despite the factors of the game, nothing really meant anything to Miller. He said he doubted he’d remember the game’s “sterile side missions and curse word-laden dialogue”, and he came to the conclusion that Prototype 2 was a case of “forgettable fun”. He gave the game a 7/10, which is only “good”. At GameSpot, editor Tom Mc Shea praised the game’s empowering mechanics of movement, huge variety of attacks, experimenting incentives, and fun-to-find collectibles. But he also criticized the game’s practical lack of challenge, and also that it contained little that hasn’t been seen before in the series. He said that these “sporadic missteps” where however covered up by its “brutal delights”, and wrapped up his review with a 7.5/10 score. Another “good”. Joystiq handed out another 3/5-star review, saying that people would have different emotions for the game, as much as you liked its mobility and brands of mass destruction, and how much you can forgive more  brain-dead moments like repetition and witless dialogue. Even Destructoid gave the game an 8/10! So, overall, this sequel looks like a good pick to add to your library, but discerning gamers beware.

“In Assassin’s Creed we set up a timeline with this whole end of the world plot in December 2012… That’s fast approaching, and the story we have to tell, we obviously need to do it before we arrive at that point. It would be stupid of us to be centering a game on a semi-reality and then have that conclusion happen after that date in real life…” – Alexandre Amacio, Revelations creative director

Never has Ubisoft attempted such a game that I’ve known of. This is one of the biggest twists in the company’s history. But indeed, their award-winning saga Assassin’s Creed is going back, way back, to the era the thirteen original colonies called “the good ole days”. In other words, Assassin’s Creed is going to the American Revolution with its newest upcoming title, Assassin’s Creed III. This open-world stealthy action-adventure is said by Ubisoft to be bigger than any other installment (no chiz), and it will feature a new character (much like in Prototype 2) named Connor Kenway, whose birth name is Ratohnhaké:ton, which is pronounced (ra-tohn-ha-ke-ton). Spanning 3 decades of Connor’s life from 1753-’83, the war between the Assassins and Templers has moved to the colonial Americas. Connor is a half-English half-Mohawk man drawn into the fight when his home undergoes attack by white colonists. Over the course of the game, it being an art of long-long-ago historical fiction, you’ll run into famous faces of the past like Ben Franklin, presidents Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, Charles Lee, William Prescott, among even others. Work on this game began almost automatically after the primetime release of Assassin’s Creed II, but the following year when Ubisoft first revealed Brotherhood, confusion occurred as to whether or not this was the real deal. Well, luckily, now they know, and now you know to mark your calendar for this game’s release on October 30 in North America, Halloween 2012 for the PAL region.

This game was the cover story of this month’s issue for Game Informer (keep an eye out for the exclusive second issue cover), and it has already exceeded the pre-order numbers of its two previous predecessors, surpassing Brotherhood and achieving numbers 10 times of that Revelations received in a comparable time frame. So, yeah, people really want this game. Attorney/planter/politician Patrick Henry once said in 1775 in his famous speech, “Give me liberty, or give me death!” The rest of Ubisoft says, “Why don’t we just go and give them both?”

You can tell by this picture that Microsoft’s M-rated Arcade title Bloodforge is a very violent game. Well, you don’t say? The game has “blood” in its name, of course it’s violent! Anyway, there’s this guy named Crom, and he’s, y’know, a little miffed. Okay, a lotta miffed. He has murdered his own family, tricked into the act of the god Arawn, and he wants revenge. It’s a familiar setup, by the looks of it, because there’s that one mad guy who charted a brutally satisfying course to get revenge against the gods. Hint: It wasn’t Percy Jackson. And, of course, Crom’s quest to gain his right is a bloodstained one, especially gorier than your average hack-and-slash. And please do like this post if I’m not the only one whom is greatly reminded of Skyrim and Ninja Gaiden 3 whilst looking at screenshots for this game. This game honestly looks like it had mixed emotions, depending on the type of player. Some people praised this game, saying that it was worth every penny–or, in this case, Microsoft Point–while others think that, um, well, there were only 3 player reviews on GameSpot for this game and they were all positive. Are they right in the editor’s eyes?…

Nope. Carolyn Petit, an experienced GameSpot enthusiast in both reading and editing, said that despite some grotesque character designs, the game had tedious combat, terrible boss battles, a generally underdeveloped world, a distractedly unstable camera, and a number of tech problems of minor level. She gave the game 4 merits overall: Brutal (the good), Shallow, Bad Camera, and Derivative (the bad). Petit wrapped up her review with a 3/10 score, a “bad” on the scale. After this cold review, Bloodforge found no luck at IGN, either. Steven Hopper, a level-four editor, praised the game’s visuals and graphics, but criticism got the better of him for numerous reasons: an awful camera, a shallow story, derivative gameplay, and bringing nothing unique and/or innovative to the table to yak up. Hopper said that the game was a bad competitor against series like God of War or Darksiders, and considering the Arcade’s other chockful of prime experiences, it was hard to recommend Bloodforge to anyone, anywhere, anywho. He gave the game a 4/10 score, another “bad” on the meter. Joystiq handed out yet another 3/5-star score, saying that it would be more difficult to confront as a full-priced standalone, and that its action would be tiresome lasting any longer than its campaign, clocking in at a rough five hours’ worth. Attempt to play this game as thoughtfully as Microsoft developed it, you’ll come out disappointed. Attempt to play it whilst accepting it as a button-masher, and you’ll come out guiltily pleased. So overall, Bloodforge might offer a small portion, but all-around, it looks like you should skip this opportunity.

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Well, that’s our news for this week! Thanks for watching, and if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an anger management class to attend, if you know what I mean. :lol: Th-that was a funny joke, right? Oh, if you haven’t already, go check out my friend Maggie at nuthatchlover.wordpress.com. If you like looking at cute pictures and seeing what’s been on the Pinterestboard lately, this is the place to be. If you have a license to Pin, you can also follow Big Mag (see what I did there? :mrgreen:) on Pinterest and see what she’s been further Pinning. And this goes for the both of us—comment, like, rate, subscribe, reblog, follow, and stay tuned for more! (Also feel free to check me out at Google+ @ Samuel Mwak‘s page!)

~Sam~

p.s. Time for our Would You Rather o’ the Week! Would you rather…eat bacon with everything you eat ever, ever, ever, ever again, or would you eat pizza with everything you eat ever, ever, ever, ever again?

p.p.s. Time for our Random Video o’ the Week! This week goes to “Dubstep Puffle“, a video from the official channel for Club Penguin, consisting of a dark gray pet Puffle wearing a pair of headphones, listening to dubstep, while in numerous situations, like living memes and riding inside a box in space that is farting out a rainbow. At the end of the video, you can snag a secret code to get your Puffle their own set of headphones, although I’m not sure it’s gonna be dubstep they’ll be listening to. Anyway, since its debut on the 5th this month, it’s gotten almost 400,000 views, but with you I can bet cold hard fake cash it’s gonna go longer.



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I have some super juicy news to tell you. News that’ll make your day. News that’ll turn your life upside down. News that’ll…ah, you get the point. If you’re a fan of Scholastic-published graphic novel sagas like Magic Pickle or Knights of the Lunch Table, you’ve probably heard about Bone, the big boss of them all. Created by Jeff Smith in 1991 and alive until 2004 (with re-colored re-releases going from 2005 to 2009), and despite the fact that it lasted for only nine books, Bone is still a great ripple into the lake of Scholastic graphic novels, and it’s also a ten-time Eisner Award winner (like Oscars, but for comics). And you know how books get turned into movies way too frequently (Ramona and BeezusCharlotte’s WebJudy Moody, etc.)? Same thing’s happening to Bone, and brother/sister, my—and maybe your—dreams have been answered.

U like? Those were self-made Bone movie posters, son. And while the template for actual posters is to be determined (although you could consider mine, you have 100% permission, but give me credit and 5% of the total gross), the concept for a Bone movie has literally been around since the 90s, when Bone was just reaching its heyday. Back then, Nick Movies was the first to develop the idea and take action, but the rights were just recently claimed by Warner Bros. in ’08 (which explains the “a WARNER BROS production” label on my posters). And now, the studio’s finally moving forward with their great idea. Patrick Sean Smith, the man who created the recently-ended ABC Family show Greek, has been officially hired to adapt the script for P.J. Hogan (Muriel’s WeddingMy Best Friend’s Wedding, and 2003′s Peter Pan). If you don’t already know the story that has captivated millions, here it is: three Bone cousins, Fone, Phoney (real name: Phoncible), and Smiley have been exiled from their hometown of Boneville. Therefore, they embark in a series of wild fantasy adventures including rat creatures, “stick-eaters”, and a creepy hooded guy known and feared through the village as “the Hooded One” (basically, he’s Voldemort, Bone edition).

Although the format of the movie hasn’t been confirmed (if it isn’t animated like I want it to be.. >:-/), Mr. Hogan will be directing the movie at Animal Logic, home of animated movies like Happy Feet and Happy Feet 2and The Guardians of Ga’Hoole. This will most likely make the discussion come to a final conclusion that Bone will be a CGI animated film like I want it to be. The catch is, Animal Logic is an Australian company. So you know what that means—either Bone: The Movie will simply be Australian-American, or Bone is going to be a foreign movie. And if it’s gonna be a foreign movie, then that’s at least a month of my life wasted on anticipation. If you want to know how I want Bone to be structured, then here you go:

THE WAY I WANT BONE: THE MOVIE TO BE MADE

  1. Start off your first movie built after the first book, so it would be literally called Bone: Out from Boneville. If that does good (or if you simply want to, because Resident Evil‘s been going down critically but going up financially), then keep making movies until you make one for all 9 books. It’s hard trying to cram everything into one movie, and the Bone faithful will be really disappointed if their favorite series is only interpreted in one movie.
  2. Make the movie as kid-friendly as the first Harry Potter movieit wasn’t! That movie had giant trolls, 3-headed dogs, ghosts, and other crazy stuff. (It’s an astonishment that Harry Potter had PG ratings for the first 3 movies, including the 6th one later on.) Not that I’m saying that any of that was in the first Bone book, but you know what I mean. Have your fair share of kiddie and also non-kiddie in the movie, because if you take it too far, the makers will set the movie up for a PG-13 rating. And that’s a real bummer in the summer, because most of the Bone faithful I know are preteens. With every proceeding movie, make the series take more darker turns until literally, the MPAA has to give it a PG-13 rating. At least do what director Mike Newell did: save all the intensity for the fourth movie.
  3. If you’re gonna make the movie CGI, at least give it some good CGI visuals. The last thing I want is for Bone to end up looking like this when it hits the big screen:

Make the visuals rope the person in, because that’s how people usually want to watch movies/play video games/watch TV shows, or else the concept of Bone: The Movie will be a bust before it even releases. Don’t make the entire movie make viewers assume it was brought to us using 3DS Max, Maya (pronounced mie-yuh), Photoshop, and After Effects. Well…

4. Make voice acting reasonable. Thankfully I haven’t heard much of the three lead Bone stars being portrayed by the voices of child actors. Make the voicing reasonably acceptable, because this is what my brother told me: if you can’t make chemistry with the main character, it’s guaranteed that you’re not gonna like the entire work, because people focus the most on the main character. Mass Effect wouldn’t be the same without Commander Shepard, nor would Double Dragon be the same without Billy and Jimmy Lee. And for this, all I have to say is: don’t make the voicing annoying, but just a little grating, perhaps. Not like I’ve worked in film…unless you count school plays as film.

5. Stay true to what’s in the book. I know, this probably should’ve been #1, but hey. If you’re not gonna stick to what’s in the book, then you might as well scrap the idea of a Bone movie right now. Film adaptations are executed solely for sticking to what’s in the book. The movie Bridge to Terabithia gave us everything from the book, but in movie form. That’s actually bad, because you might as well leave some free space for audiences to find surprises and/or discoveries that they didn’t read in the book. This was the problem with about the 1st and 2nd Potter movies, simply said. You don’t want too much surprises, nor do you want too little. You want the perfect amount of discoveries while still staying truthful to the Bone tale.

6. Make sure you’ve even read the darn book yourself. No explanation necessary here.

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Well, that’s all for now. I gotta go get some shut-eye, or whatever people call sleeping these days. But before you go, one last question: Are you excited for this entire plan at all?



Hey guys it’s Sam, and if you’re from my background, you have to be therefore African. And it’s pretty darn amazing that one game of kicking a ball around and shooting it into a goal can turn into Africa’s main sport. Nonetheless, that sport is soccer, also known as [association] football, footy, “the world game”, or even “the beautiful game.” And being the most popular sport on the face of the planet (literally, I’m not bluffing) with over 3.5 billion fans (see?), you may know the highest governing body of this great sport: FIFA. The first video game of FIFA’s great big saga releasing back in summer 1993 (FIFA International Soccer, aka FIFA ’94), almost 2 decades would pass and FIFA would slowly work its way up the fame ladder, improving in mechanics and physics. Today, FIFA stands as the eighth-most bestselling video game franchise, beating Need for Speed but falling behind Final Fantasy. Enough talk, let’s get to the good stuff. In 2005, FIFA took to the streets for the first time in the sixth-generation of consoles. And as generations have passed on and new consoles have formed new generations, FIFA‘s been getting better and better. Along with last year’s release of the acclaimed FIFA 12, next month we’re getting another trip into the world of simulated soccer we love so very much. The last time FIFA took to the streets, it was 2008, and it didn’t do great. But now it looks like critics will be dropping to their knees and begging for mercy, because the streets we knew and loved are gone.

That’s right. This is not a joke anymore. When the new FIFA Street (aka FIFA Street 4 or FIFA Street 2012) shoots a goal next month, it’s gonna be a complete reboot, whether you like it or not. This is the first game in the series for four years ever since FIFA Street 3 arrived in 2008 (and it will rightfully be E-rated). EA Canada and EA Sports (the same companies behind the upcoming SSX) will promote full devotion to the game, and a chunk of the people that gave us FIFA 12 will also be chipping into this. The two games will share the same visual engine, the Impact Engine. The FIFA Street line producer, Sid Misra, promises “the first true quality street football experience.” Well, say that to the people who worked so hard on the original FIFA Street and FIFA Street 2. First announced back in late summer 2011 at Germany’s Gamescom event, the new FIFA Street (among other EA Sports titles) will be available exclusively early to buyers of the EA Sports Season Ticket. What that is, I have no idea. What it does, I know now. If you’ve got a PS3 or Xbox 360, make sure to mark your calendars, because FIFA Street‘s demo will arrive to the PSN and Xbox Live atmospheres on the 28th this month.

That picture that I just showed you is the official cover art for FIFA Street. The soccer superstar on it is none other than the Argentina national team’s grand captain (as well as a veteran FC Barcelona player) Lio Messi. And, according to Electronic Arts’ announcement back in November, Lio even signed to a deal to become the new face of FIFA. And just in case you don’t know, that’s a big honor. Soccer fans, mark your calendars, since March 13 is when this game will slide tackle into markets. The officially announced national teams of the game are:

In an effort to make the game more “authentic”, the stylised cartoon-like visuals of previous games in the series has been dropped in favor of a more realistic look, though there will still be the same emphasis on skill moves and tricks. The focus is once again on fast-paced games involving small teams of 5-6 players per side, one-on-one, and game modes based on panna and futsal also included. As with the previous games in the series, skill moves are an important element of gameplay. FIFA Street will feature twice as many tricks as are possible in FIFA 12, with much greater variety, and over fifty more than its predecessor FIFA Street 3. Talk about “show-off.”

Jumping with the ball between your legs is one of the most classic tricks in the book.

FIFA Street‘s soundtrack hasn’t been fully revealed quite yet, but some songs have been officially announced in the meantime:

So make sure you mark your calendars for March 13th, because FIFA Street‘s bicycle kicking into retail stores that very day. I was gonna make these letters bigger so you wouldn’t forget, but…Also rate, comment, like, and kick the subscribe button in the shins and give it a yellow card! As of today, this is Samuel Mwak, 11 years old, whom believes that silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

- Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam, and if there’s one thing 2012 media is going to blow up for, it’s video gaming. Without video games, we’d never have a source of interactive entertainment, and I’ve decided to sneak a couple of spoilers at you for only the best games to expect next year, some of them even on my anticipated list myself. Without further ado, let’s take a look at interactive 2012!

A rider takes an icy trip down a snowy slope.

If you could remember back in the seasons where wind chills were abnormally low, I released a post about the upcoming “SSX: Deadly Descents”. The darkest game of the six (seven, counting the mobile Out of Bounds) has now been renamed to just SSX, and is the first game of the new year, having already slid into stores 6 days ago. The theme has been announced as “race it, trick it, survive it”, with shown footage including helicopters, objectives, a new user interface, graffiti, and much more. EA Canada will have their crafting hands in session for SSX, while EA Sports will be publishing it. Although we have to wait, Europeans have already gotten their own public share! (the game making a European debut two days ago) It’s an outrage.

Deus Ex? Hitman? Dragon Quest? All bestselling creations from Square Enix, resulting in a merge between Enix and Square Co. in 2003. In the eight years they’ve been a part of the interactive world, they’ve already gotten a taste of bestseller’s fame. And they’ve decided to give one of 2009′s lone wolves their pack with Final Fantasy XIII-2. A direct sequel to Final Fantasy XIII, the storyline revolves around Lightning as she disappears into an unknown world. Her younger sister, Serah, and the boy named Noel attempt to find her in an evolved fighting system compared to the original. The Filipino singer Charice will belt the theme song called “New World”, while Mai Fukui will sing the Japanese version, “Yakusoku no Basho”. The talk of a sequel rose as early as January 2010, but it was officially announced in January 2011 and will head for stores at the end of January 2012. Will this adventure be the best yet, or will it really be Square Enix’s final fantasy?

Kazuya hits Ryu with his own shoryuken that proves he's been in the city of ember.

This is what you’ve been in the streets crying for. Street Fighter had to cross over with something sooner or later. And if there’s a biggest fighting game of 2012, it’s definitely Street Fighter X Tekken. This fully-Capcom-crafted game will take to the 2D streets of Street Fighter, opposed to Tekken. But don’t worry–Namco is making their own to-be-announced (TBA) present known as the confusedly named Tekken X Street Fighter. The game is going to hurricane kick onto the PS3, the Xbox 360, and the soon-to-be-published PlayStation Vita so far. The storyline is about a cubical object that crashes onto Earth, that releases a watery energy when people conflict over it, which makes no sense compared to the game. Anyways, on March 2, put on your fingerless gloves, folks, because we’re taking it to the streets like never before.

from left to right: Thane, Miranda, Commander Shepard, Grunt, and Jack.

BioWare’s only known bestseller series may be the sci-fi RPG Mass Effect, others including Baldur’s Gate and Neverwinter Nights. They have also worked in Star Wars and Sonic, just for a fact. Their last major success was in 2010 with Mass Effect 2, but they may have a chance to shine again 2 years later with Mass Effect 3. Following from the events of the predecessor’s DLC pack, the game follows Commander Shepard on a mission to save not just the world, but the entire galaxy from the hyper-advanced Reapers, by rallying civilizations galaxy-wide together. But Shepard’s got a second problem on his hands–he’s got to deal with Cerberus, who has instantly decided to turn against him/her (you can gender bend). The third and final chapter in Shepard’s chronicles, over a thousand variables have been strung together in shape to see how the final chapter unravels. The music will be composed by Golden-Globe nominated composer Clint Mansell straight out of England. Get ready, because on March 6, it all ends. (Am I doomed to get sued by Warner Bros now?)

Have you ever had no idea of your past? Have you ever dreamed of becoming an unstoppable shapeshifter that could take the body of anyone who dared to walk in your path? You’re thinking about Alex Mercer from Prototype. He is the main character with the ability to roam around post-diseased Manhattan. You see, a plague called Blacklight has swarmed around Manhattan, turning anyone infected into a monster with an urge to destroy all uninfected. Although it was derivatively compared to Infamous and Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, it instantly became a top Steam sale and a Platinum Hit, so it had to get a sequel, which is now Prototype 2. The sequel features a new protagonist, Sgt. James Heller, on a quest to eradicate Blacklight with a vengeance, setting his crosshairs on Alex himself after the death of James’ family. The sequel was announced at the 2010 Spike VGA Awards under the slogan “murder your maker”. Sharpen your claws everybody…retail stores are getting infected April 24.

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And that’s the best of all the announced video games. There are tons more that are going to press start sometime in the year, while their dates are unclear. Here are a couple of anonymously-releasing games.

  • In 1998, Mario Party was born as a Nintendo 64 exclusive. Over the 14 years it rang, 10 more installments spawned, counting Mario Party Advance and DS. Now, the ? block is going to open again, and thus will become Mario Party 9. Continuing the criticized-but-traditional board game wrapper from past games, the game is taking a new taste by allowing everyone to transport around the board in cars. Minigames are obviously returning, with more gameplay focus than of Mario Party 8. The only available platform the game is coming to is obviously the Wii.
  • After 2 critically crumbled installments, will the rivalry of Mario & Sonic still thrive with their series? After a dinner of dust in the Olympics, and a faceful of frost in the Winter Olympics, can they stop eating the ground in the London 2012 Olympics? The competing characters are divided into 4 groups: skill, speed, power, and all-around. It’s just been announced that more focus is captivating the events and gameplay, which is no big surprise for 2012. Some sports include badminton, soccer, and equestrian that are headed for Wiis. But do you want to go back to the past while still being present? The Dream Events have your question answered. The 3DS version of the game is scoring retail stores in February 2012, but the Wii version is actually coming out in mid-November 2011. Oops.
  • Halo was known as the reason why people bought the Xbox in 2001, so it become a revolutionary Microsoft breakthrough. Then Halo 2 came out at the end of 2004 and outdid its predecessor as the Xbox’s bestselling game by just 3 million copies. Then Microsoft gave birth to Halo 3 three years later, the third-most bestselling game of the Xbox 360. Then something known as ODST came out in 2009 which is surprisingly a main entry (the fourth, by now), and also the twelfth on the 360′s bestselling list. Then Halo got back into structure with Reach, which is surprisingly the eleventh-most bestselling X360 game. Can they get on the top of the lists for the sixth time with Halo 4? Apparently, this game is the new beginning of the “reclaimer trilogy”, a series of new Halo games. Sadly, Bungie has broken their developing hands and passed them onto 343 Industries. The game continues sometime after Halo 3, and marks the return of Master Chief as a main character. Sadly, you’ll have to wait a long time for the game, as it’s being released in 2012′s final quarter.

So those are some games to expect in the year. And one more final hint of an upcoming game: Vehicular combat with an evil flaming clown. Sony Computer Entertainment’s Twisted Metal is coming back on Valentine’s Day 2012 after 4 years, but I don’t believe I feel their love.

- Sam

p.s.



Hey parents, it’s Sam, and usually, I aim my posts for kids, but any age can enjoy Sammwak, so I’ve decided to have a segment in honor of parental needs too! Without parents, we’d be as wild as monkeys without their bananas. If there’s one thing I know kids hate doing, it’s chores. If there’s one thing I know kids love doing, it’s to play video games. So parents, why choose when you can do them both? (Based on Lucky Luke’s letter submission of the April 2011 subscriber’s issue of Nintendo Power.)

Lucky Luke says he and his 8-year old brother are always told by their mom to spend more time mastering chores than video games. Then, as if a light bulb flashed over her head, she got the perfect idea: turning chores into video games! Each week, Luke and company get 3 lives. A life is lost when chores are done lazily, they talk, or goof off. When they lose their third and final life, they get a “game over”, which means a weekly video game restriction. Luckily, their mom does things like hide rewards or extra lives in her shoes when she asks her kids to put them away. Now this is a life I would want to live! Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out well for editor-in-chief Chris Slate, as he says the magazine staff took turns jumping on his head trying to beat the final boss. It’s every gamer for themselves, folks.

The way I would probably do it is almost identical to Luke’s with a little twist that makes the odds a little more even.

  • At the start of the week, we get five lives. I’m the king of second chances, man!
  • If we do something really good, we get a 3-life boost. I’m trying to be fair without being invincible.
  • Rewards can originate from actual games, such as power pellets and mushrooms. But here’s the catch–they can be traded in for real cash. I’m not trying to be a penny-pincher, but it’s honestly a good way to fill your allowance. Almost like those Mom Bucks from Rodrick Rules. Here’s the chart: power pellets can be traded in for $1.00, super mushrooms go for $1.25, leaves go for $1.50, hearts go for $2.00, and if you’re good enough to get a Starman…it’s a $4-boost.

The main reason why we played video games is how fun it would be in real life. That’s what bored gaming YouTubers do all their online life. This is known as the online abbreviation “IRL”. Anyways, parents, if you want to make your chores worth getting up and doing, follow my procedures and your kids will never sneak out of chores again, absolutely positive!

If you like my ideas to make your life better, than subscribe for more weekly juice, and if enough kids and parents like Parents Produce, it’s going on the list of main segments! Also be a doll and click the like button if you blog at WordPress. And as the final post and day of September, I’ll give you a couple things to look forward to on Sammwak!

  • Nintendo’s super-duper-specially-important 122nd birthday celebration. That’s as old as the world’s oldest grandma, no kidding!
  • Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?…To improve his bite! Sounds cheesy, but it’s a hint for the second annual Sammwak Halloween special. One thing is that there’s a lot of surprises!
  • A not-yet-clarified celebration of my three-hundredth post…the one you’re looking at right now! Man, isn’t 2011 the year of celebration?


Hey guys it’s Sam, and I’ve gotten into a little curveball on blogging schedules. I haven’t exactly been up with schedules to date. Why? Because I’ve been sick. With Bieber fe–no, seriously. I’m not joking. My nose is running like the Niagara, and my throat hurts more than an iron maiden torture device. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating on that, but I’m under legitimate illness. (Take a pause to sneeze) Sorry.

And since the 2011-2012 school year has begun, Sammwak is falling under its biggest shadow….one post a week! Sorry folks, but what a father says happens. And to think that I released five posts a day when I started this blog. So starting today, Sammwak is breaking down to one post a week, and one post only. Still really sorry. But you can still check back to Sammwak every Monday for “more where that came from!”

- Sam

p.s. This blog was shown to some of my aunt’s hospital workers, and they don’t believe that this is by just a 10-year old! Fight the power of the writing curriculum, baby!



Hey guys it’s Sam, sorry for the hiatus, I have been whipping up some new videos with my webcam! :D Anyways, I’m back with another YouTube Treasure (sorry if they’re getting old). I know. We’ve been having a YouTube fest. Emma Watson socking an interviewer, a finger frenzy, all the videos I included in my 4th of July celebratory post. I guess, now it’s more LOL! ;) Now, this treasure is a test. An ultimate test…no, the ultimate test. The hardest challenge you’ll ever take. Harder than the Moron Test, even. Can you sit through these videos without laughing your head off? If you can, you are not only titled “stone hearted”, but you get two legendary Sammwak collectibles: an actual stone heart, and the pork pie hat of Buster Keaton, who in the 1900′s, was known as the “Great Stone Face”!

The videos, in their order, were a 4-second animation of the Rage Guy (published by sr50cent). For Rage fans, this video is hilarious, so why did it get only 130,000 views (since Sep 2010)?! It’s the best 4 seconds of your life; you just don’t know it yet. Sometime in the middle of the night you’ll wake up screaming, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” I just know you will.

The next one was a video from August 2009, with publisher bramslaets daring the viewer to watch it without laughing. (It’s really called, “try to watch this without laughing”. It had 2 years to become the next Nyan Cat, but it only racked up half a million views! How can you not enjoy a prancing rainbow Bunchie? When I first saw this, I was ROFLMFAO. Even Fick said, “Thanks to this video, I dream happy dreams of me dancing with Bunchies on a rainbow, thanks to this video” on Facebrook the other day.

The next one was a scene from the timeless comedy Napoleon Dynamite, when he dances his illegal government ninja butt off! There’s actually an awful lot of copies of the scene, let alone them being remade (one from mauricio890 getting over 2 million views!), but the real one from markthehat66 scored over half a million views since December 2010, which is pretty strong for a 6-month duration of time to get viral. (770,000 to be exact) And according to the video’s page on YouTube, it said that the video was seen on the channel The Stranger, Seattle’s Only Newspaper. Now that would be an article I’d tune into.

A “fans-have-been-waiting-for-this-so-long” video of Joe Jonas dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” was next, racking up over 25 million views since June 2009 (a 2 week countdown to the release of their album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times) coincidentally from JonasBrothersMusic. For 2 years for viral possibilities, that has to be one of the biggest online breakthroughs I’ve seen! (Shane Dawson even reacted to it!) It’s like “Bieber After the Dentist”—it had only one viral-possibility year, and look how well it did! 32 million views well!

The penultimate video, an Autotuned remix of CopperCab’s timeless “GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!!” video, racked up 4 million views since February 2010 (coincidentally my birth month!) thanks to publisher placeboing. This has quickly become my most favorable Autotune remix ever (the grooviest, funniest, and second-shortest too)! And they obviously have to allow downloadable MP3 at Mediafire.com! But this will probably teach you a good message. You’ll wake up at midnight, saying, “Oh, gingers DO have souls!”

The final video, and the oldest, coolest, and EPIC WIN-est, dates all the way back to November 2005 from superbkid! It’s apparently a message, at a theater, before beginning 2005′s Chicken Little (conveniently, released in November!), telling the audience to turn off their phones in the most innovative way possible…Chicken Little dancing his tail feather off to O-Zone’s “Numa Numa”! Then, obviously, his phone rings halfway through the dance which leads him to get smushed. That’s 6 years ago, and it racked up a mind blowing 15 million views!…which is what I expected for a video like this. :D :D :D

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So, tell me guys: when did you laugh? (Leave a comment telling me when!) Don’t fake it. I know you cracked up one way or another. If you didn’t…slap yourself upside the head and get a sense of humor, buster! Just kidding…but seriously. If you didn’t crack a smile through the whole show…then congratulations! You have earned this achievement!…

Stone Hearted – Think you got what it takes to complete the ultimate test? Sit through the videos without cracking a smile! (50 BP)

…and these dandy collectible, again, a stone heart… …and the pork pie hat of the Great Stone Face himself, Buster Keaton! Absolutely priceless upon your success!

Check back for more tests, more treasures, and more time with me here at Sammwak!

- Sam

p.s. I’m going to be learning at VBS (Vacation Bible School) this coming week starting tomorrow (which means sleeping 9:00 pm-early >:-o), and this year’s theme is Operation Space! (Last year was The Egypt File, and the year before that was Gadget’s Garage, and so on.) So, first we contacted with God through a teen genius and his robot, then we contacted him in an Egyptian pyramid style, and now we contact with him in an intergalactic style? St. Mike just isn’t running out of ideas. ;)



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