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Mario first reared his mustachioed head in 1981 as the Jumpman in the coin-op clash of “man vs. animal”, Donkey Kong. The game had to go through a whole lot of dog doo to save Nintendo from sinking in quicksands of failure. But it did, and Donkey Kong and “Jumpman”‘s heydays were only beginning. Decades later, Mario’s put up over 700 million sold units in the combination of both Mario and Super Mario, making it easily the bestselling series of all time. Mario’s also not a stranger to sports as he is to platforming. He’s done basketball (also as a guest in NBA Street Vol 3), snowboarding (as a guest in SSX On Tour) baseball, golf, tennis, even joined forces with Sonic for the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games series. But there’s just one sport that’s being left out. You guessed it. Soccer. The beautiful game. The world game. Football. And Mario’s just as menacing on the pitch as he is on the tracks, or the court, or the field, or the course. And just be ready for a surprise at every nook, cranny, and corner…kick.

North American cover art

Toad sets up what looks to be a menacing bicycle kick against the goalie.

Mario’s first delve into big-league soccer, Super Mario Strikers (known in Europe and Australia as Mario Smash Football) is a GameCube-exclusive good ole five-a-side football game representing the basic rules of football, except referees are ruled out and players give new meaning to the term “offense”. It was released in November 2005 for Europeans, December for Americans, January ’06 for the Japanese, and April for the Australians. (Did that offend anyone in any way?) Revealed as part of E3 ’05, the teams in Strikers compose of a Mario character–the “captain”–with a backup team of “side kicks” (get it?) whom are Toads, Hammer Brothers, Birdos, and Koopas. The game’s goalie (strangely enough, on both sides) is Kritter, a Kremling from the Donkey Kong Country trilogy (except for the robot-composed Super Team, who have a Robo-Kritter). The only playable captains are Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, Waluigi, Wario, and Donkey Kong. (Bowser also NPCs to obstruct players occasionally.) There are several modes in-game:

  • Grudge Match - The standard single and multiplayer game mode.
  • Cup Battles - 1-4 players are allowed to compete in tournaments against AI opponents to advance through cups for rewards.
  • Super Cup Battles - Dominated the Cup Battles? Super denotes a higher tier of enemy lines, and only the strong survive…no, seriously, that was ripped from the game.
  • Strikers 101 - The game’s tutorial mode, allowing you to learn the basics of the game and then use them in “games” to hone your skills.
  • Spoils - This is for the people who love to gloat their highest milestones to others. This records awards you’ve won like soccer trophies, so you can cherish the moments and brag about them, too.

Both sidekicks and caps have varying attributes with “balanced” and “defensive” ways to play available. Strikers, for the most part, sticks to the rulebook of soccer with abilities to dash, slide tackle, etc. But then there’s the fact that players can land serious hits with or without the ball, resulting in a more arcade-esque game of soccer. The game has six stadiums/stadia that only change aesthetically and do not alter the playing field, even with electric fences to prevent to ball from going out of bounds. And yes, you can knock players into these fences. The further you go into the game, the more “cheats” you an access; these include a weakened goalie and an infinite set of items to use in impeding opponents.

I already said it was first shown in 2005′s E3, where game director Mike Inglehart and marking director Grace Kim expected the game to be more realistic, but after some consultations with Nintendo the creators opted for a more “over-the-top” turnout. The electric fences were added to accentuate the sport’s physicality, and there are no penalties or cards since the power-up system has compensated for this, considering power-ups are given to the team of a player that has been hurt.

Want to learn the basics of the game right now? Hands up, I’ve got you covered. (Do note that Strikers does not have “positions” in their vocabulary.)

DEFENSE

Slide Tackle (B) – This is one of the classic defensive tricks that always loses the victim of the ball. You can even perform one tackle after another if you wish, but that just makes you look silly. I recommend doing this if it seems like an opponent is about to take a shot at the goal. (Do note that both the tacklee and tackler will trip and fall.)

Big Hit (Y when not having the ball) – Despite being defensive, this is one of the more pain-dealing tricks on the pitch. The Big Hit is literally a bodyslam into an opponent, whether they possess the ball or not. There’s about a 7/8 out of 10 chance that the victim will fork over the ball, and there’s a 4/5 out of 10 chance it’ll go to another opponent. I recommend doing this also if an opponent is about to shoot.

Power-Ups (X, Z to switch)- A Mario game really isn’t a Mario game without power-ups. And like in Mario Power Tennis, power-ups are a major component in Strikers. You receive power-ups by charging shots or having a hurt player. When the time is right, you can use power-ups to impede opposition, relieve them of the ball, and get one step closer to a point. The power-ups include but aren’t limited to:

  • Banana Peels - They were toughies in Mario Kart, and they’re toughies now. They work by being thrown out and anxiously awaiting a player to slip on them. These peels come alone or have up to 6 of them released at a time.
  • The Normal Shells – These shells come in green, red, spiny, and–most notorious of all–blue. Green shells fly in straight lines, bouncing off walls and damaging victims. Red shells’ specialties are their homing abilities, victimizing the nearest player. But the dreaded blue shell not only apprehends victims, but freezes them in their tracks. Spiny shells do not stop after first hit, and go off until contact with another item or after hitting the wall twice. These shells all come as singles or triplets.
  • The Giant Shells – Just like normal shells, except giant-er! Giant green shells bowl over anything in its path, giant reds keep going after hitting a wall, homing in on a victim, and then acting like a mere giant green shell. Giant blues, however, freeze victims as usual, but now detonate on impact as well. Giant spinies are literal bulldozers on an unstoppable rampage down the pitch. Unlike normals, these shells only come in sets of one. But can you imagine how unstoppable they would be as triplets?
  • Bob-ombs - These living explosives will stand still for a second, and then explode, affecting victims in its range. However, the Giant Bob-ombhas a explosion radius of at least 4x larger, and it sends out a shockwave!
  • Chain Chomp - Everywhere it goes, it’s feared. It’s been considered one of the scariest foes in Super Mario 64. And it’s especially scary in this game. Like Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing can grant you an All-Star Move to get you back in the game, Chain Chomps (along with Stars) can only be obtained by the losing team. The Chomp will blaze down the pitch and damage every hand of the opposition. In fact, it won’t leave until there’s at least one man down.

Deke (Z) - When in possession of the ball, opponents are likely to go for your jugular to rid you of the ball. Now you can go for their jugulars when you deke! With a quick Z press–ahem, blue button press, the player can do a quick one-two. This is useful to get rid of opponents and proceed towards the goal.

OFFENSE

  • Turbo Run (R + thumbstick) – Have you ever heard this phrase?: What is a principle when you are venturing in the woods with, I dunno, a friend or two? A plump kid. When you encounter a bear or an equally threatening animal, your first instinct is to hightail it out of there. And with a plump kid, you don’t have to be the fastest–you just don’t want to be the slowest. And that really applies when you’re turbo-running. Sometimes, your fastest trailblaze down the pitch just isn’t enough. So what else to do than run faster? (Tip: Do note that while turbo-running, you can’t free move, deke, or shoot.)
  • Pass (A) – No one likes a ballhog, so with one of the oldest tricks in the book you can relieve yourself of the ball to another teammate. There are also special passes: besides the plain old ground pass, there’s also the lob pass (L+A) which is equally efficient in receiving the ball. If you play your cards right you could also uncover a special-er kind of pass…
  • Simple Shot (B) – The easiest to pull off, but the least likely to score. I suggest charging your shots.
  • Charged Shot (Hold B) – Okay, now we’re talking. Charged shots are more likely to score, and honestly look a lot sweeter. There is, obviously, a limit to the charge of your shot, and the sidekicks’ limit differs from the captains’ limit. Sidekicks can only go as far as–I dunno–a “fire ball”. But captains can go as far as…
  • Super Strike (Hold B for captains only) – …this. This really puts the Strikers in Super Mario Strikers. As a captain, you can hold B to the limit (you will see lightning surrounding you when you reach the limit) and you will then see a bar with two parts marked green. There is a white marker that will wave across the entire bar only once. If you time it right, you can land the marker on both green parts with a B press, and that will ensure your Strike is properly aligned. If not–believe it or not–Kritter actually has a chance of blocking it, although he will be temporarily dazed afterward. A successful Super Strike will count as two goals instead of one, and it will look like this:
  • One-Timer Shot (A + B) – Now this, my friend, is a one-two. The first part of the one-timer is a pass to a teammate. The second part, performed by the final receptor, is the instant shot. You can perform this anywhere, even across the pitch. And a volley shot will bewilder Kritter; just saying.
  • Perfect Pass (A with teammate near goal) – This is the special-er pass I was talking about. This is only performable if you are passing to a teammate near the goal. You will be certified of a perfected pass if the trail behind the ball is green. If you time it right, you can follow up with something even better… (And yes, there are such things are perfect lob passes.)
  • Perfect One-Timer Shot (B directly after Perfect Pass) – The last receptor of this one-timer not only shoots the ball. He gets a few seconds of slo-mo glory before slamming it in! The perfect one-timer is a great opportunity to score and honestly is one of the sweetest-looking moves in the game.

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Now to actually talk about the game itself. I really enjoyed Strikers; it had quality GameCube visuals, its arcade soccer had fast-paced, and energetic vibes, the game offered lots of challenge on upper tiers, and the Strikers 101 mode was really helpful. Don’t think I’ve had this much fun on the pitch since FIFA 12. It really hit gold on its addiction factor, and it would have you with the skills of a cartoon version of Ronaldo or Pele in no time. However, the game simply doesn’t feel Mario enough. No honestly, after you’ve heard Luigi says his name at least ten times in his victory celebrations, you’ll be at your wit’s end. And there’s not one chip of properly “Mario” music in the game. And besides, if there was a soccer school, Strikers would be a major dropout. (Unlike FIFA, whom would likely have perfect attendance and finish as the valedictorian. ;) Um, let’s get back to the flaws.) It simply doesn’t follow the sane rules of soccer, and the rules it does follow have more twists than you can give to those unbreakable 50 Cent headphones. Some noticeable issues in frame rate, as well as a lack of animation and audio variety (hence Luigi) that brings the game down even further from perfection. From the cover, and artwork, you may believe that Strikers is super-hardcore. But it, well, isn’t. And besides, Donkey Kong’s breaking the rules of soccer by hitting the ball with his hands. Now I can’t criticize and praise the game all day….we need a chart for that!

2 out of 5 – Educational value – The game does teach you the basics of soccer, and you may sometimes use logical thinking as an advantage on the pitch.

 2 out of 5 – Positive messagesStrikers puts up a model of being sportmanslike, both on a playing field and off, although red-card antics are the norm of the game. As almost always in the games I review, perseverance is key as well.

0 out of 5 – Positive role models – Not really applicable.

 2 1/2 out of 5 – Ease of play – It may take a while to fully comprehend the controls of the game, but when you do, it gets a lot easier to grasp–although it’s still kinda baffling at times.

3 out of 5 – Violence – In this game, antics that would give you red cards or even worse aren’t punished–they’re rewarded. You can do all sorts of dastardly deeds on the pitch, like knocking opponents into the electric fences, victimizing them with power ups, tackling or big hitting them, or even having Giant Bowser come onto the field and make the forwards’ lives even more miserable. But all of it is cartoon violence meant more for laughs, and when played by the appropriate audiences, this factor of the game can be an uproar.

1 out of 5 – Inappropriate Content – Peach and Daisy are, somewhat but nevertheless, wearing risque and skimpy outfits that show off their stomachs and legs.

0 out of 5 - Language – This aspect is not applicable.

1 out of 5 – Product Placement – Besides being a Mario game, Donkey Kong (cross-advertising?) is likely as far as the game goes in product placement.

0 out of 5 – Drinking, Drugs, and/or Smoking – This aspect is not applicable.

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Are you kidding?! Now THIS is art!

Smarts: C- (2 points)

Play-Again Ratio: B+ (3.5 points)

Fun: B (3 points)

Entertainment: A (4 points)

Humor: A+ (5 points)

Style: A- (4 points)

FINAL SCORE: 21.5 out of 30 (YEESH. 80), 71% out of 100%, 4 stars out of 5

CONSENSUS: Super Mario Strikers does mark gold on some factors, like the pace of the game and all the modes–and it truly is a fun game–but serious problems like frame rate, a lack of variety, and some definite rule-bending push Strikers away from its true optimum.

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But that’s not all! You’ve heard that this is only part 1 of Game Face Mario Mayhem, right? Well, part 2 is coming soon, and it’s gonna be an even bigger, better Mario game! I can’t say what it is, but let’s just say it’s two-fisted, red-blooded, and all-American. I’ve said too much already.

Check out my latest Sammwak spinoff that’s literally like my own little social network: 3GS! http://3gsam.wordpress.com/

Stay classy, America. ~S~ 8-)

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Random Videos o’ the Week: I got stuck between two videos and just couldn’t decide. Lemme describe the first one: Annoying Orange is one of the comedy moguls of YouTube history. Ever since its first episode in October 2009 (which garnered over 100 mil. views to date), Orange’s official channel has gained over 2 million subscribers and over 1 billion video views, and to add to that Orange and friends have gotten their own show on Cartoon Network! (Catch The Annoying Orange every Monday at 8:30!) Well, they’ve taken a blast to the past, giving the first-ever episode a reanimation–literally! This animated spin has already gotten over 1 mil since late July and has gotten over 20k likes. Witness the fruity goodness–now in glorious animation (and glorious 720p HD!)!

Our next video is probably just as awesome, maybe a bit more awesome even. A regular gummi worm is 10-25 cm of gelatinous, chewy goodness. In the shape of a worm. First introduced by Trolli in July of 1981 (in fact, the 60th anniversary of gummi bears), these worms come in all shapes and sizes. But it doesn’t come close to the world’s largest gummy worm, brought to you by  the makers of the gummi cola bottle and the tablet that turns sour into sweet. Clocking in at over 2 feet, 50 cubic inches, and 3 pounds of sweet, sweet goodness, the world’s largest gummi worm is 128 times of a normal gummi. And it makes a rad dirt cake, too. And it’s actually for sale too (all seven flavors), for the price of $28! The worm’s official video has over 10 million views since its launch in October 2010, and almost 30k likers are craving this monstrosity. Step aside, Epic Meal Time…this epic meal has the oomph for a whole year of fine dine. But this isn’t as far as they can go, so check out and subscribe to their channels! (, )



Movies, like anything, come in all shapes and sizes. Action-packed movies that are literally their own explosives, drama titles that pull at your heartstrings, horror bloodbaths that’ll leave you jolting your boxes of popcorn instead of enjoying them, comedies that’ll have you laughing until you can’t breathe, etc. But there’s one type of movie that’s barely gotten true honor: the video game genre. Yes, that exists. Probably the only existent “inner gamer” movie has to be The Wizard, a Christmas ’89 title that introduced what would become one of the biggest games in history: Super Mario Bros. 3. And speaking of arcade games, that’s where that story ends, and this new story begins.

File:Wreck-It Ralph poster.jpg

(How many video game characters can you spot? :D)

I have never been so excited for a movie. Um, ever. Directed by the former animation director for both The Simpsons and Futarama, Wreck-It Ralph, the 52nd Disney Animated Feature and the first of 2012 (the 51st being last year’s Winnie the Pooh), starts at a typically nostalgic down-the-block arcade. One of the titles in that arcade is Fix-It Felix, Jr., where you play Felix himself and must constantly repair the damages of a building facade while the game’s villain smashes away atop the building. That villain is the 9′-tall, 643-pound Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly), and for three decades he’s been the guy that everyone loved to hate. And Ralph’s tired of that. And to make everyone notice he can be the hero, he literally disappears from the game via power cord and joins the light-gun FPS Hero’s Duty, battling “Cy-Bugs” alongside the game’s own hero, Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch). But he doesn’t spend the whole movie in this game, as he later goes onto a candy-themed kart racer called Sugar Rush, and here he meets one of the game’s main characters, Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman). Vanellope has learned that her game is faced with a threat that could affect the entire arcade. The worst part? Ralph may have started the whole thing.

I was originally gonna come out with a “Top 5 Most Self-Anticipated Movies of the Year” post, but I’ll tell you right here and now, this movie was #1 before the list was even finished. I first came intact with this movie at this year’s Comic-Con, and I’ve been loving it ever since. <3 This movie promises appearances from some of your favorite game characters: Ryu, Ken, M. Bison, Zangief, Chun-Li, Cammy (all Street Fighters), Clyde (one of the Pac Man ghosts), Bowser, Eggman, Kano, Smoke, Q*bert, and it doesn’t even stop there. (This fact about the movie took a page from Roger Rabbit’s 1988 adventure, also from Disney.) There’s a result of over 200 individual models based off these inclusions. Running on a budget of $150 million to possibly make movie history by rejuvenating the game movie genre, this movie luckily had a date shift to November 2 this year, which was originally next March. (Thank goodness!) And to add to that, it also got a major appearance in the latest Game Informer, and Fix-It Felix’s adventure is now available in full-Flash at Ralph’s official site. And–you likely should’ve seen this coming–Wreck-It Ralph will be receiving his own video game on the Wii, DS, and 3DS! This Disney Inter.-Activision project is stated to be a “story extension” to the movie. And to add to that, Ralph will even be featured among the racers in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed! How can you say “game over” to that? Well, Wreck-It Ralphwill premiere November 2 in 3D, but the story’s not quite done yet…and besides, you haven’t seen these Wreck-It Ralph TV spots yet!

 

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File:Paperman (2012) poster.jpg

This is Disney’s new black-and-white short flick, Paperman. Blending traditional and computer animation, you’ll be able to see this movie directly after Wreck-It Ralph, like La Luna was shown right after Brave. The synopsis states that the movie follows a lonely young man in mid-century NYC, whose destiny takes a turn after meeting a ravishing woman during a morning commute. Convinced the girl of his dreams has slipped through his fingers, he gets a second chance at love when he spots the woman in the window of a skyscraper across the avenue of his office. Armed with love, imagination, and a stack of papers, his efforts show not even close to paralleling his awaiting fates. Hearts will break and papers will fly this fall. Ooh, sounds romantic. Anyway, whether you’re in it or not, you can catch Wreck-It Ralph and Paperman in their premieres this fall, and it’s going to be like watching all those scenes at the end of The Avengers. ;)

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Stay cool,

~S~ 8-)

p.s. Random Video o’ the Week: In the 90s, Goosebumps was hot, Pogs were a fad, Nickelodeon was on fire, and all girls talked about were bands like Hanson, or the Backstreet Boys, or N*SYNC. Now, Goosebumps HorrorLand is the only existent series, Pogs have vanished from the mainstream, and girls are obsessing over people like Justin Bieber and Big Time Rush. Oh, and Nickelodeon still holds a small flame. But you should’ve seen them back in the day. All That, Kenan & Kel, Legends, Figure It Out, Family Double Dare, Clarissa, the list goes on. 90′s kids had it all, and after more than a decade of being in the shadows (excluding SpongeBob, which is still alive, and Figure It Out, which has been revived) it just had to get re-honored in all its nostalgic glory. So TeenNick made The 90′s Are All That last summer. While it’s on every night from 12-2am, with a 2-4am encore right after, at least you can get a taste of how it feels now. (Ever since last August it’s received almost 30k hits.)



Hey parents, it’s Sam, and usually, I aim my posts for kids, but any age can enjoy Sammwak, so I’ve decided to have a segment in honor of parental needs too! Without parents, we’d be as wild as monkeys without their bananas. If there’s one thing I know kids hate doing, it’s chores. If there’s one thing I know kids love doing, it’s to play video games. So parents, why choose when you can do them both? (Based on Lucky Luke’s letter submission of the April 2011 subscriber’s issue of Nintendo Power.)

Lucky Luke says he and his 8-year old brother are always told by their mom to spend more time mastering chores than video games. Then, as if a light bulb flashed over her head, she got the perfect idea: turning chores into video games! Each week, Luke and company get 3 lives. A life is lost when chores are done lazily, they talk, or goof off. When they lose their third and final life, they get a “game over”, which means a weekly video game restriction. Luckily, their mom does things like hide rewards or extra lives in her shoes when she asks her kids to put them away. Now this is a life I would want to live! Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out well for editor-in-chief Chris Slate, as he says the magazine staff took turns jumping on his head trying to beat the final boss. It’s every gamer for themselves, folks.

The way I would probably do it is almost identical to Luke’s with a little twist that makes the odds a little more even.

  • At the start of the week, we get five lives. I’m the king of second chances, man!
  • If we do something really good, we get a 3-life boost. I’m trying to be fair without being invincible.
  • Rewards can originate from actual games, such as power pellets and mushrooms. But here’s the catch–they can be traded in for real cash. I’m not trying to be a penny-pincher, but it’s honestly a good way to fill your allowance. Almost like those Mom Bucks from Rodrick Rules. Here’s the chart: power pellets can be traded in for $1.00, super mushrooms go for $1.25, leaves go for $1.50, hearts go for $2.00, and if you’re good enough to get a Starman…it’s a $4-boost.

The main reason why we played video games is how fun it would be in real life. That’s what bored gaming YouTubers do all their online life. This is known as the online abbreviation “IRL”. Anyways, parents, if you want to make your chores worth getting up and doing, follow my procedures and your kids will never sneak out of chores again, absolutely positive!

If you like my ideas to make your life better, than subscribe for more weekly juice, and if enough kids and parents like Parents Produce, it’s going on the list of main segments! Also be a doll and click the like button if you blog at WordPress. And as the final post and day of September, I’ll give you a couple things to look forward to on Sammwak!

  • Nintendo’s super-duper-specially-important 122nd birthday celebration. That’s as old as the world’s oldest grandma, no kidding!
  • Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?…To improve his bite! Sounds cheesy, but it’s a hint for the second annual Sammwak Halloween special. One thing is that there’s a lot of surprises!
  • A not-yet-clarified celebration of my three-hundredth post…the one you’re looking at right now! Man, isn’t 2011 the year of celebration?


That’s right. Hey guys, and for any of you who have actually checked out me and my brother’s channel , you’d know that we haven’t been up to date ever since our most recent video back in February 2011 (released five days before yours truly’s birthday), which only mustered seven thousand views, which is not even a fifth of the amount of views our most viral video get.]

Well, now over half a year later, we’ve finally released a new video in a beautifully brand-new format (just today)! Only seventy people have seen this greatness, and since the thousands start here at Sammwak, I thought that this would be the best way to spread the word. See it and replay it and replay it and replay it and replay it and replay it in awe! My brother is officially an After Effects master for doing this. Software takes people places, doesn’t it?

See, I told you it would be beautiful. And if you think you’ve woken up from this best dream ever, we’ll be releasing new videos all week under this format!…Okay, now you can wake up. ;)

Our fresh logo, and hopefully our fresh YouTube icon.

I’ve been cooking up tag-team ideas ever since we got this whole format thing down. I’ve got some pretty good ones down, and hopefully they’ll go from my WordPad to your computer screen. I’ve already told my friends on GMail’s Buzz about it, and maybe they’ll continue the buzz too…pun intended?

Anyways, keep checking back to OneByOne for slick new videos under this format. Speaking of slick videos, wanna check out our most viral video? (breaking the record at over 200,000 views)

I guess that’s all here from Sammwak. Just a quick shout-out to spread the news.

p.s. For my bonehead mistake of procrastinating on blogging times, I’ll be giving you a short span of posts every Monday, Friday, and Wednesday! That’s right, for just 2 weeks, Sammwak will be triweekly…starting, now!

p.p.s. Keep your eyes peeled for SSF4 charge character tutorials! (Anyone named Benny must be very happy right now.)



Hey it’s Sam with another great YouTube treasure, mateys! (Why do I keep saying that?) And if you are a modern-day person, don’t watch TV, and/or might not have a life, you may not know Looney Tunes. Be as it may, it may be the most timeless cartoon the networks have ever seen. And now that it’s gotten a 2011 rejuvenation, we now know it with The Looney Tunes Show, bringing every old-school character and possibly converting them into the most new-school people I’ve seen. And that’s what today is about. While we may not be focusing on the show in general, we’re focusing on one of my favorite aspects of the show: “Merrie Melodies”.

This is the title card of the first Merrie Melody from the thirties.

Merrie Melodies are songs (usually 2 min. at most) featuring classic Looney Tunes characters singing original songs. If you don’t ROFL at these videos, then you have no emotion. Hands down. There are actually lots of YouTubers that release TLTS melodies. And I actually give you extra points if you have some of these on iTunes or Windows Media Player (at least a music player in general). Some videos have gotten over 100,000 views while others haven’t, but it’s the song that counts.

This first song is about Chickenhawk, a hawk who loves chicken. Crispy, glazed, baked, fried…come on, he eats chicken cake for his birthday. (130,000 views since May 2011.)

The next song is about Elmer Fudd’s love for grilled cheese sandwiches. I do criticize him, because he rejects a burger, a shake, a cake, and a steak for that cheese! (Now that’s what I call true love.) >:-( 100,000 views since May 2011. )-:<

Another song stars Marvin the Martian, and he sings about how he’s really a good guy despite being from Mars. He shares cheese pizza and lemonade, and–oh, this is the best part–he’s the ultimate host of puppies; he makes them in his lab. (20,000 views since June 2011. And yes…this is Cartoon Network’s channel.)

The final song is a love song. But not any love song. It stars Lola. Yeah, that crazy psycho stalker bunny after Bugs. She tries to tell him he’s in love, but he tries to get out of it in every way possible…even if he has to go tooth-and-nail on her. (Almost 100,000 views since July 2011.)

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So for any of you who don’t watch this show yet, I have four reasons why you should. In fact, you just saw them. So catch The Looney Tunes Show Tuesdays at 8:00 on Cartoon Network! It’s actually better than you think…;)

Your blogger,

Sam

p.s. This post is dedicated to my friends, Benny and Jerry Kagumba. Why? Because they were the first to witness this awesomeness…and they’ve been with me for years now. So, if you’re reading this, this is in your honor.



Hey guys, it’s Sam with a major announcement! Have you spent your life battling between two games? Is your life doomed to be defied picking one game over the other? (Mortal Kombat 9 or Portal 2? We can never decide…) Worry no more! The upcoming posts about the top five biggest game companies are headed to Sammwak! Get some history behind your favorite companies and their top games, some feedback to know what games are worth it. So starting the Monday after this week’s Monday, come on down to Sammwak to find out…

I put these pictures in because I felt like it. I'm not spoiling it. I promise.

So starting August the 8th, find out which company’s hot, and which others are a hot mess! Be there or be a hot mess!

- Sam



Hey it’s Sam, and here’s another YouTube treasure I dug up, mateys! Today’s treasure is actually not just from one user…it’s from three! I just felt like it, because today is Thursday. A triple Thursday of treasures. These YouTube stars are famous online and off, and are actually huge icons. The first YouTube star is the king of VFX (video effects, for all of you who don’t do abbreviations) mastery, Frederick “Freddie” Wong, or as his username goes by, freddiew. He has over 30 million channel views, and over one million subscribers.

The first video is a real-life tribute to an infinitely looping gif which you can find here. It’s called “Big Blue Ball Machine”, and currently stands with over one million views since July 16.

The next one is called “Arcade Dominator”, where Wong heads to the arcade and dominates all, from air hockey to a perfect skeeball game to a flawless Guitar Hero shredding session. This video has over 5 million views since the 4th of…June. Pwned.

This final one is called “Real Life Mario Kart”, bringing back Mario Kart 64 in 2011. This video has over 11 million views since February 17…my birthday! :D

Freddie has a bigger-than-life backstory behind him. He competed in the 2007 World Series of Video Games, walking away with first prize for Guitar Hero 2. (if you saw Arcade Dominator, you know he rules at GH.) He performed at YouTube Live in 2008, and is prone for guest stars in his videos, such as Ray William Johnson in “Troll Massacre”, and William and Dylan from KIDS REACT in “Jedi A-Holes Strike Back”. Onto the next star!

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If you’re Brazilian, you can’t say you don’t know Joe Penna, or MysteryGuitarMan. He makes music out of stuff you wouldn’t expect to be musical, such as with balloons in “Pop”, with buildings in “Jumbo”, and with one thousand guitars in “1000 Guitars”. He has over 35 million channel views, and has surpassed the one-million-subscriber mark.

This first one is called “Bubble Rap”, consisting of lots of bubble wrap, a guitar, and DeStorm as the rapper. Over a million views since May 14, 2011.

The next one is “Pop”, which I told you is consisted of lots of balloons, and a piano. Almost at 3.5 million views since May 11, 2010.

The final one is “Happy Mouth”, featuring Joe singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” with the sounds conducted by his mouth, like a bass, an angelic choir, and hi-hats.

Joe has not only been in a McDonald’s Coke commercial, but he ranks as the ninth-most subscribed YouTuber to date, dethroning the Annoying Orange but being dethroned by Shane Dawson’s second channel. Now, our third and final star!

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Epic Meal Time is from Canada, which is no surprise why they take foods to the total extreme. If you’re ever called down to lunch and you aren’t hungry, watch some Epic Meal Time and you’ll be hungrier than a starving Sim. Almost 25 million channel views and over a million subscribers as we speak. The eighth-most viewed in Canada, and the most gnarliest foods since Man vs Food…maybe even gnarlier.

The first one cooks up a meatball deathstar, a whole bunch of cooked pasta stuffed inside a meatball covered with cheese…your mouth started watering, right? If you ain’t down with meatballs, and you ain’t down with almost 3.5 million views (since December 14, 2010), you ain’t down to no nothing!

Next, sushi and fast food finally fuse together to create the ultimate “fast food sushi”. Since December 7, it has over 5 million views. おいしい! That’s Japanese for “delicious”!

The final video is just salad. Without all the healthy stuff. Take your greens, and turn them into teins…proteins! That’s right, we got a meat salad with flank steak lettuce, spiced-up pepperoni carrots, meatball radishes, cucumber sausages, and Epic Meal Time ain’t epic without bits…beer bacon bits!

And if you think this is a carnivore’s dream come true, it doesn’t stop there. They’re live at Comic Con, and you go to Netflix.com/bacon, and watch some Kevin Bacon! Am I right, Internet?

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That marks the end of another video effective, musical, and tasty YouTube treasure. From now on, check back every other Friday (which means a treasure one Friday, a regular post the next, and then another treasure the next) for more YouTube treasures, mateys!

- Sam

p.s. Have I told you about my brother’s site? Probably not. It’s based on ways you can be successful in everyday life. From social medial abuse to the perfect relationship to letting go of a loved one, my brother Chris Mwakasisi could probably hook you up with some gnarly innovation.



Hey guys it’s Sam, sorry for the hiatus, I have been whipping up some new videos with my webcam! :D Anyways, I’m back with another YouTube Treasure (sorry if they’re getting old). I know. We’ve been having a YouTube fest. Emma Watson socking an interviewer, a finger frenzy, all the videos I included in my 4th of July celebratory post. I guess, now it’s more LOL! ;) Now, this treasure is a test. An ultimate test…no, the ultimate test. The hardest challenge you’ll ever take. Harder than the Moron Test, even. Can you sit through these videos without laughing your head off? If you can, you are not only titled “stone hearted”, but you get two legendary Sammwak collectibles: an actual stone heart, and the pork pie hat of Buster Keaton, who in the 1900′s, was known as the “Great Stone Face”!

The videos, in their order, were a 4-second animation of the Rage Guy (published by sr50cent). For Rage fans, this video is hilarious, so why did it get only 130,000 views (since Sep 2010)?! It’s the best 4 seconds of your life; you just don’t know it yet. Sometime in the middle of the night you’ll wake up screaming, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU” I just know you will.

The next one was a video from August 2009, with publisher bramslaets daring the viewer to watch it without laughing. (It’s really called, “try to watch this without laughing”. It had 2 years to become the next Nyan Cat, but it only racked up half a million views! How can you not enjoy a prancing rainbow Bunchie? When I first saw this, I was ROFLMFAO. Even Fick said, “Thanks to this video, I dream happy dreams of me dancing with Bunchies on a rainbow, thanks to this video” on Facebrook the other day.

The next one was a scene from the timeless comedy Napoleon Dynamite, when he dances his illegal government ninja butt off! There’s actually an awful lot of copies of the scene, let alone them being remade (one from mauricio890 getting over 2 million views!), but the real one from markthehat66 scored over half a million views since December 2010, which is pretty strong for a 6-month duration of time to get viral. (770,000 to be exact) And according to the video’s page on YouTube, it said that the video was seen on the channel The Stranger, Seattle’s Only Newspaper. Now that would be an article I’d tune into.

A “fans-have-been-waiting-for-this-so-long” video of Joe Jonas dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” was next, racking up over 25 million views since June 2009 (a 2 week countdown to the release of their album, Lines, Vines, and Trying Times) coincidentally from JonasBrothersMusic. For 2 years for viral possibilities, that has to be one of the biggest online breakthroughs I’ve seen! (Shane Dawson even reacted to it!) It’s like “Bieber After the Dentist”—it had only one viral-possibility year, and look how well it did! 32 million views well!

The penultimate video, an Autotuned remix of CopperCab’s timeless “GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!!” video, racked up 4 million views since February 2010 (coincidentally my birth month!) thanks to publisher placeboing. This has quickly become my most favorable Autotune remix ever (the grooviest, funniest, and second-shortest too)! And they obviously have to allow downloadable MP3 at Mediafire.com! But this will probably teach you a good message. You’ll wake up at midnight, saying, “Oh, gingers DO have souls!”

The final video, and the oldest, coolest, and EPIC WIN-est, dates all the way back to November 2005 from superbkid! It’s apparently a message, at a theater, before beginning 2005′s Chicken Little (conveniently, released in November!), telling the audience to turn off their phones in the most innovative way possible…Chicken Little dancing his tail feather off to O-Zone’s “Numa Numa”! Then, obviously, his phone rings halfway through the dance which leads him to get smushed. That’s 6 years ago, and it racked up a mind blowing 15 million views!…which is what I expected for a video like this. :D :D :D

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So, tell me guys: when did you laugh? (Leave a comment telling me when!) Don’t fake it. I know you cracked up one way or another. If you didn’t…slap yourself upside the head and get a sense of humor, buster! Just kidding…but seriously. If you didn’t crack a smile through the whole show…then congratulations! You have earned this achievement!…

Stone Hearted – Think you got what it takes to complete the ultimate test? Sit through the videos without cracking a smile! (50 BP)

…and these dandy collectible, again, a stone heart… …and the pork pie hat of the Great Stone Face himself, Buster Keaton! Absolutely priceless upon your success!

Check back for more tests, more treasures, and more time with me here at Sammwak!

- Sam

p.s. I’m going to be learning at VBS (Vacation Bible School) this coming week starting tomorrow (which means sleeping 9:00 pm-early >:-o), and this year’s theme is Operation Space! (Last year was The Egypt File, and the year before that was Gadget’s Garage, and so on.) So, first we contacted with God through a teen genius and his robot, then we contacted him in an Egyptian pyramid style, and now we contact with him in an intergalactic style? St. Mike just isn’t running out of ideas. ;)



Hey guys, it’s Sam again. Yes, it is the start of July today, a very patriotic month on the face of the country! And not only is July the month of America and independence, it’s also the month of everything Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Everyone’s waiting for the big finale of the worldwide phenomenon, where it all ends. Not only is the epic fantasy itself releasing on July 15…

But its accompanying video game (again, by EA) and soundtrack (again, composed by the French film composer Alexandre Desplat) are releasing the same month…surprisingly, the same day on July 12, just three days before the big opening. The game has received a rating of E10+ for fantasy violence, or, if you’re talking about the Nintendo DS version, mild fantasy violence.

Harry Potter and the Death…eh, you can read, you know what’s it called. This game continues Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s search to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes that gave Lord Voldemort immortality, and it all leads up to Harry and Voldemort’s final battle, sort of like the final Transformers. Still a third-person action adventure, this game isn’t entirely just a carbon copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, to address complaints from Part 1. The game will use cut-scenes to progress linearly, but without side missions like Part 1. This game’s combat involves button pressing which casts spells as attacks. Three face buttons, usually with either a symbol or a letter, and the second spell of a button can be activated if pressed twice. And if you’ve seen past movies, you’ve heard of Apparition. As a use of defense teleporting in and out of battle, Apparating is now a part of Part 2. With an over-the-shoulder view, you can control several characters including Harry, Ron, Hermione, Professor McGonagall, Neville, Ginny, and more.

HP7 Part 2 (that felt a lot better :D), the soundtrack to the movie of the same name, is composed, as I said, by the returning Alexandre Desplat (responsible for music for movies like Fantastic Mr. Fox, Twilight: New Moon, and The King’s Speech). The release date was announced by Amazon on 7/12/2011. Speaking of Amazon, they’re allowing pre-orders of the soundtrack, priced at just $12! ;) Warner Bros.’s website confirmed Alexandre’s return to compose Part 2. Desplat himself said scoring was a “great challenge” and that he has “a lot of expectations to fulfill” ahead of him. The soundtrack composes of twenty-five songs, from “Lily’s Theme” to “A New Beginning”. The longest song is “Severus and Lily” at 6 minutes. “The Tunnel”, at almost 1:10, ranks as the shortest.

So, do you know what you’re going to be casting…er, craving…this July? :D ;)

Later, from Sammwak. And now, I shall Apparate away! d(^_^)b



Hey guys it’s Sam, and sorry for the delay, I am back from my trip and have been getting smitten over my new laptop! So now, I don’t have to wait so long for my sister in order to reach you! And today, we’re digging up another YouTube treasure! (if you didn’t see the last one, click here!) And this comes in a whole series of really awesome videos! Calling all children out there…you probably know your reactions to the funniest YouTube videos! Well, what if you evaluated how kids (from youngsters to teens) reacted to videos, from viral ones to YouTube stars? That’s what the Fine brothers’ show, Kids React, is all about! Watch them with videos from the classics, like Keyboard Cat and David After Dentist, to ones like the creepy Snickers Halloween commercial and Freddie Wong, and that guy you saw the other day teaching you the Double Dream Hands dance. It has a chronological series of eighteen videos, and I’ll show you half of them! Here goes…

And if you thought those were hilarious, there are actually nine more of them left to see! :D Next time these guys appear, we’ll see their reaction to the 8-bit cutie Nyan Cat, the Harry Potter 7 Part 2 trailer, and more! And if you like these videos, subscribe to the Fine Bros to see new videos first and like this post, please! I guess that is all for today! Goodbye from Sammwak (check back Friday for a new treasure, mateys!), and remember: Stay in school, don’t do drugs, share a cherry with a chipmunk, give a monkey a shower, and butter an ant.

- Sam

p.s. Hey, you thought this post was over? HA! You’re wrong, bub! >:) No one’s going anywhere until you see the latest video released today!

 



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