Hey guys it’s Sam and guess WHAT TIME IT IS?!?! It’s JOKE TIME!!! That’s right, I’ve started a new segment on Sammwak called “JOKE TIME w/ Sam Mwakasisi”, hosted by yours truly! Be the jokester of them all, telling randomly funny jokes or pulling them on unsuspecting victims! Without further ado, let’s get to the jokes!:

Knock-Knock Jokes – These aren’t temporarily “victim” jokes, but friend jokes…:

You: Knock-knock.

Friend: Who’s there?

You: I’m a pile-up.

Friend: I’m a pile-up who?

You: No, you’re not! Don’t be so hard on yourself, buddy!

(from The Captain Underpants Extra Crunchy Book o’ Fun)

You: Knock-knock.

Friend: Who’s there?

You: Sadie.

Friend: Sadie who?

You: Sadie Pledge of Allegiance.

(from knock-knock-joke.com)

You: Knock-knock.

Friend: Who’s there?

You: Island.

Friend: Island who?

You: Island on your roof with my parachute.

………..

Q&A Jokes – i.e. “Why did the chicken cross the road”…

Q: Why do sharks live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

(from The Captain Underpants Extra Crunchy Book o’ Fun)

Q: Why did Batman cross his legs?

A: He had to go to the batroom.

(from The Captain Underpants Extra Crunchy Book o’ Fun)

Q: How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome?

A: You pull down its “genes”!

(from Big Nate in a Class By Himself)

Q: What did the mother buffalo say to the son buffalo when he went to college?

A: Bison.

(from The Captain Underpants Extra Crunchy Book o’ Fun)

Yo Mama Jokes – Yo mama’s so _____….:

Yo mama’s so skinny, she hula-hoops with a Cheerio!

Yo mama’s so dirty, she makes mud look clean!

Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets on an elevator, she HAS to go down! (from Big Nate in a Class by Himself)

Yo mama’s so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama’s so ugly, they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower!

All of these (well, almost) were powered from funnyjokesmania.com. Read it and lol!

……..

And a special wrapper-upper joke….Ketchup and Liquor!

This is the final joke of volume uno, and yes, it is our first VICTIM JOKE!!! Grab a victim, and read on. And you must tell the victim they have to answer “ketchup and liquor” to every question:

You: What did you have for breakfast today?

Victim: Ketchup and liquor.

You: What did you have for lunch today?

Victim: Ketchup and liquor.

You: What did you have for dinner today?

Victim: Ketchup and liquor.

You: What do you do when you see a pretty girl passing by?

Victim: Ketchup and liquor.

You: You “ketchup” (catch up) with the girl and “liquor” (lick her)? Man, you are NASTY!

………..

Sorry to bust your water bottles, but this is the end of volume one. 😦 But check back for more funny bone-tickling, laugh-rising volumes of JOKE TIME w/ Sam Mwakasisi!

L8trs, Sam

p.s. What jokes do YOU want in the next volume? Comment/email me your best joke(s), and you could be responsible for the next handful of jokes or less!

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