I probably should have told this to you when I launched this blog, but I am a huge fan of Pokemon. I collect them, I trade them, I even enjoy drawing portraits of them. But you might not believe me on this feat…but I make them. No, I’m not from Japan. I make faux (pronounced “foh”, French for “fake”) Pokemon cards (saying “fake cards” might get me sued for copyright infringement) and I save them onto my computer. I’ve made 7 faux cards so far, and I’ve decided to share them with you as inspirations to make your own faux cards.
Fred Figglehorn (LV 6) – My least powerful faux card (can you feel the enmity?). He has an Ultrasonic Scream that can send the Defending Pokemon’s ears shuttling off its head. His Call for Squirrels can cost you half of your HP, and requires 3 Colorless energies. Although he’s still searching for his pills today. He is weakened from Fighting (Kevin;)) and can resist water. (“Fred Goes Swimming”, “Fred Works Out”, “iMeet Fred”, etc.)
Homer Simpson – I began following the Simpsons Wiki for a couple days, then I got the inspiration. I needed a couple Homer Simpson faux card inspirations myself to pull this one off. He has a Belch attack that requires 1 Fighting energy, powerful enough to cost the Defending Pokemon a turn. He can also be accompanied by his Spiderpig, whose deadly silk web wrap provides the next attack that requires 3 energies of Fighting. He is weakened by Fire, but can resist Water.
Chuck Norris (LV X) – I started following a site devoted to Chuck Norris facts, then this happened. Also need some faux card inspirations to help whip up this one. His I-see-it-everywhere Roundhouse Kick will Finish the Defending Pokemon. It’s all over. His Ranger Eyes attack puts him in play if he is in your hand, and cannot leave from that place. He will win you the game upon making damage. This attack requires 4 Psychic energies.
Finn and Jake (LV 28) – I just had to make this one. I barely needed inspiration; just perspiration was all. I had an original attempt at making this card, but it wasn’t as enjoyable as I assumed it would be. And this is only stuff you’ll find in my Recycle Bin. Their Autotune attack was an original feat from the original card, but was changed (Jake can’t autotune sing) to their Nightosphere attack. When the spell is uttered, the Defending Pokemon will be Swallowed and Trapped inside the Nightosphere. Their next attack, Spaghetti Limbs, was originally patented to Paralyze the opponent, but was changed to just Wrapping them, requiring 2 energies for both Fighting and Colorless.
Gru (LV 35) – Pfff, like I would forget Despicable Me. His Freeze Ray requires 4 energies of Water (surprised?) which will leave the Defending Pokemon Frozen (duh). His next one is his Call for Orphans (double duh), which will bore the opponent from the orphans’ bedtime stories, requiring 3 (number of girls) Colorless energies.
Mordecai and Rigby (LV 23) – Of all the faux cards I made, I had the most fun making this one. Their first attack is Slack Off, which prevents all damage from opponents’ attacks whilst slacking off. Then there’s their Tag Team Punchie (:D), which instantly sends the Defending Pokemon to the hospital if a coin flip lands on tails, requiring 2 Fighting energies. They are weakened by water (they get hosed in “The Unicorns Have Got To Go”), and can resist grass.
Barack Obama (LV 44) – If I voted for him, I had to give him a Pokemon (yes, I am a Democrat). He was so important that instead of a Diamond & Pearl-type Pokemon card format, I had to change to the HeartGold and SoulSilver format (as you can see from the others). His The Law States attack (entitled off a Brock Obama Pokemon attack of the same name) deflects all damage done from the opponent’s attack; they don’t have a permit to allow damage. His Campaign attack also forces the Defending Pokemon to vote for Obama.
I made these cards at MyPokeCard.com, where you can also print out your cards, glue them on the back of real cards, and make them look like the real thing. But for now, I just save them onto my PC. Become a faux card connoisseur! Baffle your buds, impress the Internet, and fumble your family with your cards! Become the card-maker–or should I say, faker–of the century!
Sam, Faux Card Connoisseur 😉 😀