Hey it’s Sam, and I sincerely apologize for my absence from Sammwak. I had to go on a trip, and now I’m in Peoria, IL as I speak! Today we’re taking a look at another “superior” Sonic game. I experienced the demo of this game first (which absolutely rocked!), then the full game. Today, our subject is 2008’s action platformer, Sonic Unleashed. (What, I cannot do online and video games in one segment?)

In just a handful of words to describe Unleashed: A total waste of twenty bucks. Yes, it was that bad. The demo took me as far as the ground. The actual game didn’t do that. It dragged me through excruciatingly punishing difficulties, pestiferous characters, and repeated controls. I really didn’t enjoy the game, and I haven’t even finished the game to date. See what I mean? It’s just too hard. Oh, I need to tell you about the plot.

Well, it starts when Eggman shoots the world with an enormous ray gun. Predictably, Earth breaks apart, but with a side effect: at night, when the moon is out and full, Sonic transforms into his grotesque beastly form…Sonic the Werehog! Dealing with adventures day and night, Sonic has to restore the world to normal after Eggman’s mass destruction.

Every one of Sega’s releases starring that supersonic blue hedgehog carry the hope of picking up the pace that made Sonic a star in the 90s. And every destined venture through Sega’s front door has ended in various degrees of tripping out the back. 2006’s Sonic the Hedgehog met unanimously negative reviews, and Sonic Heroes had some negative points critics had to point out. But Unleashed stooped up to brand new roots of failure. Not only did I feel like the game droned on and on, but it lacked what every platformer had to have: fun. That’s unforgivable! And these slews of infinite problems are caught by an achy shaky camera. All of these mean there is basically no point in playing Unleashed.

Even Sonic himself is disappointed by the failure of his own game.

The werehog levels were definitely unfinished. And they took longer than the classic, and enjoyable, sprint-to-the-finish races. You couldn’t toggle day and night like The Sims 3 let you. And you might have the vigorous ability to send enemies flying with a flaming punch from your stretchy arm, but it didn’t feel that cool, and besides; you’d have to keep doing that for the whole night. Sure you’ll go places, but only in the method of mindlessly mashing the attack button until they explode into rings and whatnot. And the enemies either lack some good AI, or are menacingly challenging. They stand around until you feel like putting the hurt on them. Sock them until they explode. The most common factor for defeating tiny enemies, and one that will never evolve.

Sonic in his werehog form.

In the pictured form, and as I told you, you earn stretchable arms and the ability to grab onto ledges. It’s an essential thing to have when wandering in these stages. And the camera can get restricted when a line of sight is necessary. And since the punishing is so quick, these can rid you life after life in bouts of frustration.

And there are also townsfolk standing around that you can talk to; just be prepared for the boring, bitter aftertaste. I really did not like one bit of the game except for its truthfully proficient graphics. 😀 So let’s scroll down the list of what Unleashed was taken back by:

  • Repetitive, iterative combat that gets super old, super fast.
  • It’s impossible to talk to townsfolk without getting pestered or bored.
  • Punishing difficulty, which makes the game impossible to beat. What did we do?
  • A lousy camera restricts a good view when you need it.
  • Nighttime levels will take forever to get through.
  • The designs for levels are hideous, especially at night.

And let’s take a look at some of the tarnishing demerits Unleashed got for its trouble!

Annoying Characters – Maybe it’s a lazy facial expression or two. Maybe it’s that pestering voice you have to hear every time. But this demerit only goes out to games worthy of characters who really put the “pest” in “pestiferous.”

Bad Controls – It can differ to overly hard control to overly unresponsive abilities, but something in that controller/joystick/whatever is so jacked up, that you just might want to say, “Controller/joystick/whatever, meet wall!”

Shallow – Some games make up the “negative extreme”, and others reach new lows of that negative extreme. When it just varies to mashing the same thing for a couple minutes, or having to repeat every action from start to finish, you might be playing a Shallow game.

Poor Camera – One of the aggravating things games can do is obscure the way it catches the footage of the game, lacking the ability to show a good view of what’s going on, let alone keep up with any necessary action. Games like this “win” our “award.”

Difficultly Punishing – Sure the ideal boss fight, like Mario vs. Bowser, can put up a good fight. But when games push it too far, you end up making a fool out of yourself. This game would’ve been more appealing if it reduced the Haterade and punishing difficulty.

Disappointing – The ordinary mediocre game can be shaken off in a matter of time. But when games really don’t live up to the potential markets, gamers, and retailers alike, they earn this demerit for their trouble.

Unworthy Value – Expensive games that aren’t worth the huge price, as well as the short and repetitive, come short in the value column. There are more efficient ways to spend your precious cash, but we don’t say the game stinks.

This was something I played in the demo that got me HOOKED. Guess it wasn't worth it!

I guess the final verdict for Sonic Unleashed is a “terrible” 3 out of 10. Worse than Super Smash Flash 2, literally the worst crossover a man can play! I would’ve felt like getting a refund, but, unfortunately, Video Hits Plus went out of business. 😡 “Although it runs aground on sleek visuals, Sonic Unleashed is an awful adventure with a poor camera, dreadful controls, pestiferous characters, the list goes on.” This game was supposed to revive all of the negative downfalls Sega suffered, but it’s just become a member of the heap.

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Check back for more Gamecritical posts, as well as the other humor that hooked the hemisphere of WordPress, right here on Sammwak! 😉

p.s. This post is sponsored by Sprintz Sports Gum. When you need to go for the gold when it comes to speed, pick Sprintz. Sprintz Sports Gum, now with 10% less liver damage…and the sweet smell of lemons!

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