Over the decades, the first-person shooter genre has grown to become the commercial colossus of the gaming industry, with games like Doom, Half-Life, Goldeneye, and Halo shaping the genre to what it is today. But ever since Call of Duty came in to town, society’s look on what a true FPS is has never been the same. And it’s about time someone took the time to make fun of that.
Quickscope Simulator was introduced to me by PewDiePie, who made a video for the game back in late June–if you can even call this thing a game. The pleasure and humor of this game comes from the vanilla algorithm of obnoxious (and quite loud) Call of Duty montage videos featuring people that get so excited they blow out their speakers over every kill they get. KnowYourMeme refers to this as “the 420 MLG montage“.
In Snipars: The Game, the only thing you can do is perform quickscopes in an assortment of crudely designed maps which are essentially just a collection of similar pictures that create a vague representation of a three-dimensional environment. My attempts at taking panoramas with my iPhone would look like art compared to these maps. And in these vague representations of three-dimensional environments, images slowly grow larger as they get closer, and as you shoot them they disappear in an explosion of spinning text, logos, Doritos, and Mountain Dew cans, all while some screaming kid can be heard in the background. If you’re lucky, you might get a snippet of a song instead.
There are five difficulties, and I will list them from hardest to easiest: “Insane”, “Try Hard”, “Quickscoper”, “Camper”, and “No enemies”. I’m serious, there’s a difficulty with no enemies. Now, there’s no point in trying anything higher than “Camper”, as you will only survive a maximum of 30 seconds, give or take.
If you get a certain amount of kills, you will be rewarded with a killstreak aka a “Care Package”, which includes items that have the sole purpose of taking out everybody on the screen, with some exceptions. The game says that after 50, 200, and 420 kills you get a Package, but from my experience with the game it goes comes randomly after you hit 50 and get your first Package.
With enough kills, you do level up and once you hit a certain level, you unlock a tweak. These tweaks enable stuff like making every enemy Shrek, replacing the explosions of text and images with all Mountain Dew cans/Doritos, playing left-handed, and my personal favorite: the “gotta go fast” mode. In this mode, every enemy is a poorly-drawn Sonic which goes either to the right or the left while simultaneously getting closer to you in a gradual manner. All while a gleefully distorted version of “Green Hill Zone” plays in the background.
That’s pretty much as far as Faze Clan Simulator goes. Quickscoping enemies so you can see bunches of text and hear a funny sound. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the multitude of vague representations of three-dimensional environments found in this game. They include such maps as…
- “Kush Town“, a quickscopified version of the Call of Duty map Nuketown
- “Minekush“, where you can quickscope Steves and Creepers in suits (as well as other stuff)
- “Green Dank Zone“, where if the gameplay does not amuse you, you can also be amused by the poorly-drawn Sonics spinning wildly in the background
- “Untitled” – This level literally has no title, and is also inspired by Giygas (I pronounce it “geegis”), the villainous entity from the legendary, amazing, and downright classic SNES game Earthbound
- “Highjacked” – Quickscope enemies on a conveniently abandoned boat
- “Shrek’s Swamp” – A class all on its own
Enough funny talk aside, is the game good?
If you enjoy Youtubers like Snipars and Vagabonds who have “420 MLG montages” in their DNA, you will probably love this game. If you’re a Call of Duty fan–heck, a fan of the FPS genre in general, you might get a kick out of the sort of parodic madness this game has to offer. Similarly, you might think the game is stupid and immature, and I will understand where you’re coming from if you do believe this. As of me, I think the game serves no better purpose than killing time or having a good laugh at it. I would never actually play this game for hours at a time like I would with a game on my Xbox. Besides the extra modes that will keep you entertained for a maximum of 5 minutes, there’s not much that Quickscope Simulator provides besides–well, quickscoping. And loud funny noises. And logos. And explosions of text.
Final rating: 5 headshots out of 10
You can download the Call of Duty Snoop Dogg DLC here in its latest version. Check it out, leave a comment if you like the game, and until next time, folks…stay classy, and perfect those quickscopes.
I’ve been a diehard for Cartoon Network as long as I can remember, ever since it introduced one of the biggest pieces of my brain’s nostalgia center–Tom & Jerry. When I don’t have anything to catch up with, or I do but I’m just kinda procrastinating, I usually spend my time playing their site’s games. You already know that I have some major beef with the Adventure Time games (excluding Jumping Finn, which is actually good), strong faith with the Reg Show games, and keen interests in the Gumball games. Well, take these three shows and a whole lot more, convert them to 3D, and cram them into one game. What do you get? No, not Formula Cartoon. You get this.
FusionFall Heroes is the sequel to the well-renowned FusionFall Universe which Cartoon Network introduced back in 2009. Instead of an open-world experience where you could interact with some of your favorite characters, this is a nonstop action RPG very similar to DOTA. In FFH, you play characters such as Finn and Mordecai, and you get automatically sent into a level. Each level is different–you could be fighting the Tech Queen, while your friend could be fighting the Graveworm. Before you fight the levels’ bosses, you must go through about four waves of smaller enemies. I’ve classified my enemies into two categories:
- The enemies that die with one hit, also known as the petite enemies
- The enemies that take a round of hits to die, also known as the buff enemies
Anyway, if you’re not a very skilled fighter and you get major health blows, you’re in luck. At your side are medical chests (marked with red crosses) that have health boosters in the forms of breakfast foods like jellied toast, cereal, and pancakes. Also, at your side are very special chests (marked with the infinity sign) that offer special powers once opened. I call it Infinity Power since I really don’t know what the official name is. Once you consume the IP, a five-bar gauge next to your health fills. Once at least one bar is full, you can right-click to perform a special attack that takes away -266 of the enemy’s damage. If you die, you don’t need to restart your fight–you respawn automatically, which saves me a lot of stress and fury. Furthermore, there are these red barrels that explode a few seconds after being hit, which is an easy way to wipe out a pack of petites.
Right now I’m kicking butt as Finn, and my gamer alias is “Major Zelda”. So if you see that name anywhere while you’re playing FFH, think of me. Anyway, I got hooked onto the game a few weeks ago, the first time I played it. I was bored out of my mind and probably killed an hour or so playing Heroes. What made me so addicted to the game, kept me going back for more, was that it so easy to master. A simple click of the mouse equals a swing of the sword, and that’s probably all you need to know besides that special attack. I love how something new pops up every time I play, and they always have the greatest and most unique boss fights. Albeit they’re not very hard boss fights (I mowed through two in my first sitting), they always relate to the environment you’re fighting in. For example, if you’re fighting monsters made out of auto parts in a junkyard, you’re gonna get a monster made out of cars. Most specifically, the Truckosaurus Rex. Furthermore, if you’re fighting monsters made of electronic parts in a fancy lab, you’re gonna get a giant electronic monster made of enough energy to run a parking lot of Nissan Leaves. Most specifically, the Tech Queen. I also appreciate the 3D techniques that were transcribed from Formula Cartoon.
However, its tendency to repeat levels is very annoying, and the first time I played I thought it was because I hadn’t saved. Then I realized you couldn’t save. Anyway, if I defeat the Tech Queen once, I’m not interested in defeating her five more times. Also, the game’s excitement does quickly wear off, and you find yourself very bored instead of very thrilled. Also, the game does lag sometime on me, which is no fun for an RPGamer. The game’s solo content does get a bit rusty after awhile, but it does offers a
party co-op mode that I haven’t tried yet, since I have no friends to co-op with.
Well, let’s not tell sob stories and get to our chart.
- Immersive gameplay
- Gorgeous 3D environments ala Formula Cartoon
- No-brainer controls
- Medical and Infinity Chests serve as helpful aid kits
- Ingenious boss fights
- Gets tedious and boring after a while
- Cantankerous tendency to repeat fights
- Annoying lags that slow down battle paces
- Offers a middling amount of content in solo mode
FINAL CONSENSUS: FusionFall Heroes is very addictive and unparalleled for a Cartoon Network title, but for any ordinary browser-based RPG it has very insipid flaws such as fight repeats, lags, and conspicuous tedium. However, the game does offer enough to have you coming back for more, which says something.
FINAL SCORE: 8.3/10 (great)
Well, with all that aside, make sure to subscribe if you’re new, and don’t forget–press the like button. Come back next Monday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
Video of the Week: Pogo already gave us not one but two Videos of the Week last time (“Living Island” and “Roarcraft“), so it shouldn’t be a surprise I found something really good this week. This video was the third one Pogo ever released, and it was actually put up back in May 2008. It’s not really a remix of anything–it’s Bertke’s first original song. It’s called “SplurgenShitter”, and if you have any questions about the name, don’t ask me because I don’t know. Don’t ask Bertke, because he won’t tell you. Besides, it got paired up with footage of Nick dancing around wearing a Darth Vader mask and it has 1.1 million hits. Quality Internet video!
(You could also find a 4-minute version of the song on Weave and Wish, an EP Bertke released in 2009.)
Our Bonus Video of the Week is a Pogo remix of Lord of the Rings (the Frodo era, not the Bilbo era) that came out in March 2011 and has 1.9 million hits. Someone actually had the nerve to role-play as Frodo, comment on the video, and 3 weeks later it got 187 likes. A true quality Internet video.
Hey guys it’s Sam, and 2011 has gone by excruciatingly fast. It’s already the final quarter of the year! So, as my gaming senses are tingling (as well as my snotty nostrils), I’ve decided to give out a list of games that the final quarter is so very proud to present. From the fighters to the strategies and everything in between, here are Q4 2011’s most anticipated games.
Street Fighter IV was a game-changer on its own. But bigger is better, so it got a rebalanced update we now know as Super Street Fighter IV. I guess the same thing happened with Marvel vs Capcom 3, because now it’s Ultimate MvC3. And despite Marvel being involved in the crossover, the game was entirely made by Capcom during and after the earthquake and tsunami that shook and stirred Japan, as well as this game’s DLC schedules before morphing into a standalone title.
Gameplay: This game, it being a mere update, has gameplay almost identical to that of its predecessor. The mechanics still utilize the tag-team effort of MvC3 where a player could switch between their 3 fighters at will even during a fight. During a match, a fighter can call for an assist, or a selected special move, at their will. One of the returning mechanics are the exchange button, allowing players to switch fighters in the midst of an air combo. The game has an 8-way directional system that allows jumping, crouching, and moving towards or away from the opponent. The X-factor returns, but has a shorter duration and less strength boost comparing to its previous installment, but it can now be enabled airborne.
Visuals: The game features 3-dimensional character models and backgrounds, but gameplay is solely restricted to a 2D plane.
Fun fact: Did you know that this game will be a launch title for the PlayStation Vita?
Without Bethesda Softworks, series like The Elder Scrolls and Fallout probably wouldn’t exist. And after its stumble this May with Brink, hopefully their first-person shooters can come back strong this October with Rage. The game takes place in a post-apocalyptic world following the impact of the 2029 Apophis, an asteroid. The player realizes he is the only survivor of the impact after an Ark malfunction. You may think its main premise is a bath of bullets, but players can actually race on dune buggies, get money, and upgrade their cars! For a shooter, I don’t think that’s going to work out well.
Engine: The game is the first of two to run under id Software’s new OpenGL 4.2-based id Tech 5 engine (the other being Doom 4).
Gameplay: At Electronic Entertainment Expo (aka E3), id Software’s creative director Tim Willits, stated that the core of Rage was to be a first-person shooter with the addition of vehicular combat (check please) without it being the premise of the game. The game also has RPG elements, alongside the world being populated with mutants, the main enemies of the game for at least the first half.
Multiplayer: Rage has 2 multiplayer modes: Combat Rally and Legends of the Wasteland. In Combat Rally, up to six players compete in a free-for-all match that takes place in an arena designed to make use of the vehicles. The objective is to collect rally points that appear around the arena while killing your opponents and stealing their points. Legends of the Wasteland is a series of two-player bonus co-op missions based on stories that you hear about as you play the single player campaign.
Fun fact: Did you know that Rage got a spinoff for the iPhone?
Strap on your headbands, and get your tennis shoes on. If there’s one game to slam-dunk into markets this October, it’s NBA 2K12. The game will release to almost 10 platforms, but the X360 and PS3 are the only two to render the 3D presentation.
Gameplay: For the first time, gamers will be able to control some of NBA’s most iconic players, such as Magic Johnson, Michael “Air Jordan”, and Kareem “Cap” Abdul-Jabbar, and pit them up against other teams to make dream match ups. These basketball legends have been recreated with an unnecessary amount of detail. Says Wikipedia, “Gamers will now tap into the legacy of these legendary athletes by utilizing their signature moves, such as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s unstoppable skyhook, to rule the virtual hardwood in NBA 2K12.” Another mode is the My Player mode, a close look at a basketball athlete’s career, even with the ability to get inducted into the B-Ball Hall of Fame. Due to the 2011 lockout, this game is unable to use rookies for the ’11-’12 season. Rookies can still be used if they are created yourself.
Soundtrack: 2K Sports and Duck Down Records hosted a competition for a song placement on the official soundtrack. After cutting thousands of entries down to ten, by popular vote producer Alex Kresovich (of New York) and rap group D.J.I.G. (of New Jersey) were the winners. Other artists on the soundtrack include Eminem & Royce da 5’9″, Freddie Gibbs, and James Pants.
Fun fact: This game is the first in the whole series with motion controls via the PlayStation Move.
It is history’s biggest franchise in soccer simulation. One of EA Sports’ most proudest accomplishments, it ranks as the seventh-most bestselling video game series in history. It is the Fédération Internationale de Football Association, or most commonly known as FIFA, introducing its nineteenth installment, FIFA 12, at the end of this month. A demo of this game has already been released since last Tuesday, the game heading for platforms as early as the PS2 to some that haven’t even been released yet, like the PlayStation Vita.
Gameplay: This game has several new features and improvements over its preceding installments. For the first time in years the game’s presenting and front end has been remodeled with familiar vertical menus being replaced by a side-scrolling system. Says Wikipedia, “A “trinity” of major gameplay changes have been implemented in FIFA 12; these are the Impact Engine, Tactical Defending, and Precision Dribbling.”
Soundtrack: The game’s OST features 39 established and breakthrough artists from almost 20 countries, covering a large amount of music genres. Some include Alex Metric (who has also been on the FIFA 10 soundtrack with “Head Straight”), The Strokes, and The Ting Tings.
I don’t usually think about overalls, but when I do, I’m thinking about Mario. Probably the most famous plumber across the country from America to Sweden. He always has an excuse to save Princess Peach (does he get tired of it?) with a smart premise for backup. When Mario’s not going on platforming adventures, he likes to tip in his hat and catch in his chest for a game of golf (Mario Golf), or travel with his friend Yoshi (Super Mario World), but he mostly enjoys putting the pedal to the metal in Mario Kart. And this is a way that Mario’s pedal has never been put to metal before…in 3D, as the ultimate Christmas present.
Gameplay: While replenishing some old Mario Kart traditions, Mario Kart 3DS (Mario Kart 7 is too, well…) does bring some new things in its package; vehicles can now be customized, with the decision of frames that range the weight, tires that affect a kart’s handling on certain surfaces, but the biggest new gadget Nintendo has announced is the hang-glider (not a kite, folks!) that allows racers to glide in midair. It can also be played in a 1st-person POV (point of view) utilizing gyroscopic controls. The game will also feature an arsenal of new weapons including the Fire Flower, also enabling underwater driving and earning boost by performing airborne tricks.(check please! )
Fun fact: Did you know that this game is the penultimate (second-last) game of 2011 alone? The final game of the year is BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend for the PS3 and X360, due to release the 17th.
I don’t want to go too long, because like they say, “Push yourself as hard enough so you can feel the burn—not to make it hurt.” This has been Sammwak, please subscribe and if you blog here, like this post. If you want more upcoming games, check Wikipedia’s “2011 in video gaming” for the whole year broken down into segments.
p.s. Wish me luck on my first book report ever in the history of my life!