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It’s been a long time since an online game as addictive & immersive as Glitch reared its angelic head. But now, finally, another one of those games has been shared with the public world, one just as beautiful, diverse, and fluid as Glitch, one that definitely builds upon its predecessor. The “threequel” of a wildly successful and silly online game saga, this game has taken its fancy-pant-wearing hero to newly epic proportions never seen before in his history. What’s all the hub-bub about? In this gripping episode, you’re going to find out.

Even when the backgrounds don't move an inch, Fancy Pants Man has clearly defied the rules of beauteous surroundings.

If you remember one of my old posts back in 2010’s days, you’d remember the time when I excitedly blabbed about the announcement of the upcoming World 3 (or at least, all we have of it, the real release date is TBA) in the Fancy Pants Adventures trilogy, the obvious follower of World 2. I rambled on about its debuts of distinguishable toppings to the sundae, including swimming and water-related levels, the introduction of Fancy Pants Man’s sister and her cat, pencil combat, and lots more. Now, you can’t believe the excitement I had when right here, right now, the sneak peek, the closest we can get to World 3, has come, and it’s not just the most beautiful game in the trilogy. It’s one of the most breathtaking online games I’ve ever played, hands down, deal is done. If you think Super Mario Galaxy 2 was the best adventurer’s game you’ve played, wait till you see this.

FP Man can do lots of stuff with the water, including a brief session of surfing.

Fancy Pants Man clearly proves that stunning visuals, marvelous gameplay, catchy tunes, and proficient, solid distinguishes really do add up for one of the best experiences you’ve seen. Enemies have a bit more smarts in the game now: the gun-wielding rat (or, as I like to call him, the “gunmouse” *ba dum CRASH*) can now aim his gun in different directions, a new miner headlight-bearing spider is smart enough to safely land on surfaces below him, blabbity blabbity bloo. I’ve been waiting a long time to tell you about my favorite part of this game: the swimming levels. Whether it’s for a task or just a visit to the wonderland of wetness, the swimming levels are by far the most beautiful aspects of the game, mixed with its equally beauteous music. I kept repeating quotes like “It’s so beautiful”, “I feel like I’m gonna cry”, or “(too sucked in to say much)” while I was swimming through the waters. You could also do lots of stuff like “surf” on the surface of the water, push off of undersea surfaces and fly gracefully into the water, and more. If this is how Michael Phelps practiced for the Olympics, it’s no surprise he’s a multi-gold-medalist. Definitely a game I’m proud to have on my Chrome homepage, and definitely one I’ll come back to and enjoy all over again.

 1 out of 5 – Educational value – Your brain does get tested a bit in timed challenges, and maybe getting from place to place requires a bit of logic, but the game is mainly an entertainer, not an educator.

 2 3/4 out of 5 – Positive messages – Fancy Pants Man has had a past of heroism, dueling against agitated penguins and bunnies, all for a good cause that some things are worth journeying and fighting for, like peace and love, or an ice cream cone. The new introduction of multiplayer on the consoles are definitely worth saying that “Four is better than two, let alone two being better than one.”

2 out of 5 – Positive role models – Fancy Pants Man is a veteran hero as well as a parkour master and a journeyer. He’s definitely brave enough to fight for things worth fighting for.

 5 out of 5 – Ease of play – The controls are easy to grasp: left and right to move, down to duck, and S to jump. Jump onto a wall to begin wall-climbing, and with just enough momentum, speed, and time you might end up wall-jumping from building to building (Jump & direction to do so). These controls work well and are etched into the game appropriately.

3 1/2 out of 5 – Violence – There are rats that wield pistols that will attempt to shoot at Fancy Pants Man (but the fired “bullets” look more like balls of scribble), as well as spiders that will attempt to cause harm to our hero. FP Man can retaliate by jumping onto them, making them now able to kick, which is what he can also do to snails. When FP Man loses his health, he will fall to the ground, and his angelic soul will rise.

 0 out of 5 – Inappropriate Content – There is one girl in the game, FP Man’s sister (excepting her cat, if she’s female), but there’s no steamy affection in the game.

0 out of 5 – Language – The only thing Fancy Pants Man will say is “Ow!” (after being hit by an enemy), so there’s no colorful language to go around.

2 out of 5 – Product Placement – World 3 is the third of a very successful and popular online game trilogy called Fancy Pants Adventures made by Brad Borne (who also went on to make Mirror’s Edge 2D), and you can find the games pretty much anywhere from Armor Games to Newgrounds.

0 out of 5 – Drinking, Drugs, and/or Smoking – This aspect is not featured in-game.

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Cutie Pants Girl (FP Man's sister) swings into action using Kitten Kabootle, her cat.

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THE GOOD

Whatever I just mentioned above.

THE BAD

Little to strive for means that you’re just running around for nothing.

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Fun: A+ (5 pts)

Entertainment: A+ (5 pts)

Style: A+ (5 pts)

Smarts: A (4.5 pts)

Play-Again Ratio: A+ (5 pts)

Gameplay: A+ (5 pts)

FINAL SCORE: 29.5 out of 30 (you’ve gotta be kidding me), 5 stars out of 5, 94% out of 100%

CONSENSUS: A beautiful, fluid, and atmospheric entry into the series, the World 3 sneak peek is not just the most immersive, beautiful, and solid entry into the series; it’s simply one of the most breathtaking online games created.

Click here if you want to play the best online game you’ve ever played, EVER. Play it and weep.

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Now, as the title says, we’re not finished quite yet. Fancy Pants Man may have embarked on a beauteous journey, but that doesn’t mean his minutes in heaven are over. Fancy Pants Man is going predictably where no online game hero has gone before; the PlayStation Network and the Xbox Live Arcade. It may not be World 3 (perhaps the origin of a devolution), but the console game will include a 2-4 player mode, pencil combat just as World 3 promised, and a fresh batch of new levels, as well as the ones from World 1 and 2. Similar to Limbo, the console version’s story will be about FP Man’s journey through pirates and pencils in order to save his pirate-kidnapped sister. There might also be, according to footage, a “king of the hill” mode in the game, and if you still don’t believe me, check out this trailer.

Now are you excited? The game is actually out as we speak, rated E for mild cartoon violence, and the full game costs a whopping price of 800 Microsoft points, while the trial is free, but not real. Almost 20,000 people have given it a 4-star rating on Xbox.com, and 600 people have taken the time to Like on Facebook. And remember the game’s catchy motto: “Run fast, run fancy.”

Subscribe, rate, like, com—oh, come on, do I really have to tell you what to do every time? This blog’s been alive for almost 2 years!

– Sam 😀

p.s. Giants or Patriots? The Super Bowl’s only two days away!

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Hey it’s Sam, and when gaming and voting collide, we have another fresh-off-the-grill Game n Vote to kick off the beginning of August! 😀 Another one from Flapjack (click here if you missed the first), this game takes the water and freezes it into a winter wonderland in today’s harbor adventure, Thrills and Chills.

The title screen has to be the most enticing aspect of the game itself.

If you thought Adventure Bound was a ridiculous concept, you ain’t seen nothing yet! It has to be the easiest, most tedious, and most nettlesome* game I’ve ever played. (*nettlesome = annoying) Do you know how hard it was to compensate to that pestiferous theme song while making this post alone?

THE STORYLINE

Flapjack has found a new winter adventure: Flipping and flying all over Stormalong Harbor!…Yes, that’s it.

THE CONCEPT

You have to make Flapjack do flips on a piece of wood as the snowy, woody ground slopes down, curves up, and makes gaps to trick over…or fall into, which is A) hilarious, and B) what that little kid deserves. If this is the future of Tony Hawk games, then I’ll never buy another Activision product again.

Flapjack flips out!

THE PRESENTATION

The game has an interface with ‘PLAY’ carved into the snow (what.), and some wintery music playing in the background. But all the game breaks down to is: Jump, make a trick. Jump, make another trick. Jump, bail face-first. Rinse and repeat. There’s no collection of levels to progress onto; it’s just one undersized level that you have the power to begin, but you don’t know when it ends. There’s not even any other characters, or better boards. It’s just Flapjack and a lousy piece of wood. Would you want to play that for a half hour?

THE GAMEPLAY

This is another Flapjack game where the mouse is a main component. With your cursor in play, you click to crouch, and release to jump. Airborne, you click to do flips for speed and extra time. There’s pretty much nothing beyond that. So, it’s kind of a letdown. I guess I’ll have to say it now: SON, I AM DISAPPOINT. It’s easier than peeling a banana, but as tedious as the latest Harry Potter game. Maybe even more.

The easiest controls in the world, in a nutshell.

THE PLUSSES

You’re probably wondering, “Sam, why are there even any plusses?” And, my friend, it’s because I SAID SO. (The nicer way to translate it is, “Because there simply are plusses.”)

  • 🙂 At least the controls are easy to learn.
  • 🙂 When you pick up speed, it gets more “thrilling” than usual.
  • 🙂 At least the Flapjack model looks good.

THE MINUSES

Oh, here we go…

  • 😦 The game has the most annoying theme song ever. (Adventure Bound, you’ve been dethroned.) And when it ends, it loops right back into the beginning.
  • 😦 You’re more likely to bail than to boost, and did I mention the time spent bailing clocks in at 3 SECONDS?!?!
  • 😦 You don’t know when the level will end. You could be preparing for an epic trick, but then Flapjack bails off board himself and begins dancing, which marks the end of the thrills and chills.
  • 😦 Did I mention that you can’t play again? No, literally. You try to hit ‘PLAY AGAIN’, and the game is unresponsive. Ignorant.
  • 😦 You’re doomed for a face full of snow when you wind back on the tip of your board? 😡 It’s like doing a manual, and those always work!!!
  • 😦 No voice acting. None at all. No “whees”, no hysterical laughter, no “oofs” in mid-bail? That’s another slab of perfectly good character stripped away.
  • 😦 The worst sound effects ever in a game. When you bail, it sounds like a car horn mixed with a swung golf club.
  • 😦 The most tedious and repetitive Flapjack game I’ve ever played. (Adventure Bound, you just got dethroned again!)

You call this rewarding? I call it punishment.

THE VERDICT

For a frosty frolic, Thrills and Chills is not your ideal game with tedious gameplay, an annoying theme song, and bad sound effects. But for all who are desperate for something wintery, you could give it a try…but don’t come to me looking all disappointed and say, “Sam told me to.” This game gets a “fair” 6.0 out of 10. Or, as IGN would do it…

Awesome? I know, I know. If you enjoy this post, and you are a WordPress blogger, than please like me, and to any of you out there who don’t even know what WordPress is, please subscribe to me. And thus concludes another Game n Vote! Check back for more in the weeks to come, and remember: What you think isn’t really is even though it seems it isn’t but it really is what it is. Isn’t it?

– Sam

 



Hey guys it’s Sam, and it’s been long since we’ve had a personal time to game and vote. Well, here we are, and this game is yet again, from Cartoon Network. But this one’s not from Adventure Time; it’s from Flapjack. I know that show hasn’t been around since the late summer of 2010, where it was cancelled but ended. This game is an adventure at sea, and it’s real adventure bound…that’s why it’s called Adventure Bound.

Flapjack scores some precious loot in-game.

It’s a good thing that the games of forgotten Cartoon Network shows are still around, because I’d never find this game without them. And for a sailor’s venturing, it’s actually pretty fun. The concept may be freaking ridiculous, but at least there are some solid sound effects to captivate those moments.

THE STORYLINE

It’s actually just that Flapjack and K’nuckles want to find treasure in the sky, only what the bravest, most adventurous adventurers would do. No, seriously that’s what Captain K said himself.

K'nuckles explains the storyline.

THE CONCEPT

This is the concept which I said was “freaking ridiculous”: You control Bubbie the whale (with Flapjack and Captain inside), and click to send one adventurer in the sky through her spout, and it’s your job to catch them before they bounce into the sea. And don’t forget them precious chains/combos. Pretty ludicrous, huh?

THE PRESENTATION

Adventure Bound has a sleek user interface with that sailor feel, such as seaside sounds of anchors and birds, but the noise is too much when you just want to hit play. However, the venturing gets old, and there’s little variation from one level to the next. And it actually takes more time than expected to recover a player overboard.

GAMEPLAY

The gameplay is so easy, a caveman could…play it. (Geico sue deflect!) It just consists of moving your mouse to control Bubbie, and click to send a player into the air. A little too easy, but I have to say, the gameplay does come out clean. It has good interest rate attractions, the situations remind you of the show, and it’s actually easier than you think.

THE PLUSSES

  • 🙂 The interface is well-crafted.
  • 🙂 The gameplay is easy to learn for beginners.
  • 🙂 Good environments to fess up for corked visuals.
  • 🙂 Controls have great, if not perfect, outcomes.
  • 🙂 Yes, there are badges, which equal goals to strive for.

THE MINUSES

But here’s the thing…

  •  😦 There’s no pausing, let alone getting out. Is it Super Smash Flash 2 again?
  • 😦 The main levels are awfully easy, even at level 5 or higher. And the amount of coins there is in environments like bubbles and seagulls might be near to impossible to catch without losing a matey.

IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!

  • 😦 No one talks. No one at all (excluding the horrific voice acting). No hysterical laughter, no “Whees”, not even any startled cries falling overboard?
  • 😦 You send out adventurers at random. You don’t know what to expect. It’s not like Tetris, where you can know what block is next, and hold it or anything.
  • 😦 At the bottom right, you’ll see your progress bar. (That’s what I call it.) It has Bubbie on it (you), and it swims as you swim to track your progress. However, it can swim off the bar and off screen….
  • 😦 Speaking of the bonus game, it starts out easy, but it gets punishingly hard. You have to click faster than a running gazelle. That’s why the “Get x8 in the Bonus Game” is impossible to get.
  • 😦 The voice acting is abominable. Flapjack and K’nuckles alike both sound like screaming men.
  • 😦 Not a completely reasonable storyline.
  • 😦 Awfully repetitive.
  • 😦 The most annoying game music I’ve ever heard, even if it does fit the situation.
  • 😦 During the main level, if you see the first photo I uploaded, Flapjack looks awfully sketchy. And then it always pretends like nothing happened with…

Even if you fall overboard five times, it's still the best adventure ever.

The whole bonus game, in one picture.

THE VERDICT

Adventure Bound isn’t the best Flapjack game out there, as it gets quite old, and quite tedious, quite fast, but for beginning Flapjack gamers, with its enticing controls and down-to-earth environments, what more could you ask for? My final score is a “good” 7.5 out of 10. Or, as IGN would do it..

Pretty impressive, huh? Anyways, you can check out Adventure Bound yourself by following the rainbow…just kidding, just follow this link. Happy spouting!

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Back after a long day at sea? Time to vote!

Check back for more rip-snooting good times with the ultimate gaming-and-voting fusion! This is Sammwak, and remember: Don’t do drugs, sleep with a turtle, dance with a grasshopper, and play with an ant.

– Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam, and sorry about the long hiatus. Luckily, I have a new treat within a new segment for video games, called Pwn Some Noobs (or, for stylization, PWN SOM3 N00B$!), as a substitute for Gamecritic. You know there are a lot of Game Critics around Google? Today, we’ll take a deep look at one game that you can’t not know. It was the first game for the Xbox 360’s Kinect, back in November 2010. Unveiled at the 2010 E3,  today’s token is the adventurous Kinect Adventures. It’s not the Kinect’s instant killer app, but is it worth the hassle? Let’s find out.

Revving it up in Rallyball!

Kinect Adventures was the Microsoft Studios-Good Science team’s treat for a good kickoff for a new contraption. It was actually featured with every Kinect bought, a “pack-in game”, you might call it. There’s only five mini games, but lots of modes to choose from. Players could take it easy with Free Play, or they could fight for rewards in Adventure Mode, winning achievements and completing journeys. I didn’t had much interest of this game at first, but then I jumped into Adventure Mode. My eyes were opened, and it is now one of my most-played X360 games. The environments are vivid and breathtaking, the sensor does a jolly good job of motion tracking, and the rewards are definitely enough bangs for your buck. Oh, and don’t forget that sleek interface. And don’t get me wrong, it got fairly positive critical feedback. There’s even a solid storyline to keep everything afloat. And it sold a mind-blowing 10 million copies with the Kinect, which ranks as the second-highest sale, behind Call of Duty: Black Ops. Here are the parts where it got a little bumpy.

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– Even at Advanced, excluding time challenges, Adventure Mode is super easy. Not only does it hand successes to you like it’s nobody’s business, but you also have lots of living statues to record.

– Gaming is repetitive with only five mini games: River Rush, where you use your motion to steer down river rapids, Reflex Ridge, where you jump, duck, and dodge your way through an obstacle course, Space Pop, where you use flight and hovering to pop bubbles, 20,000 Leaks, where you use your body to fix leaks started by fish, and Rallyball, where you scramble about sending balls flying into blocks and targets.. Even if they take place at different destinations, it’s still the same thing over and over again.

– Show Off & Share photos bear cheesy, embarrassing captions, like “Superhero Moment”, “Oo! Oo! Call On Me!”, and “Surf the Floor”.

–  Space Pop is punishingly hard if you don’t read the directions. Take it from me, as I was absolutely clueless upon what to do. Despite the fact that I ended up collecting 196 pins…go figure.

– The game has an annoying way of telling you you’re in the wrong place. In the top left corner, a huge pop-up will pop up and indicate where you are in your space! Not only is that annoying, but it’s super annoying!

– Games get real old, real fast. Even critics will tell you the exact same thing.

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CRITICS CALL

The game walked away with lots of sixes and sevens, and churning out only one eight. GameSpot gave the game a 7.0, saying: “This motion-based minigame collection is inconsistent, but it gives you a good excuse to start leaping and scrambling around with your new Kinect.” The game got a critic score of 6.6, while users bumped up their own score to a 7.3. Metacritic coughed up a 61 out of 100 for Kinect Adventures, and 1UP.com with a B at 80/100. G4’s X-Play gave the game 4 out of 5 stars overall.

FINALE

Kinect Adventures rallies up a 7 out of 10, a 7.0 out of 10, and a 72 out of 100. If you get the Kinect, please get some other game, because this game gets old and won’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours. Capiche? Oh, and you know what else doesn’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours? Today’s question, which comes from a user named FickDBanana…Fick again? Anyways, he said: “If you could start your own cereal business, what would you name your first cereal?” You heard the bananabrain! What would you name your own cereal?…This should be good. Leave your creative answers in my comment section, or via email.

This is Sam on Sammwak, and see you next Friday where we get to, again, PWN SOM3 N00B$!

Yours truly,

Sam



Hey guys it’s Sam, and I have a confession to make. Yeah, it’s a secret. Not a top-secret secret. A secret. A secret that I don’t really care that’s exposed to the open. But if you tease me it’s the final straw. Here’s the secret…I read The New Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley. What? They’re good books, and usually last 80-something pages. So they’re not too hard to read in a day. I just finished 2 books (The Slam-Dunk Mystery, and The Rock Star’s Secret), and I’m working on The Case of the Wild Wolf Lake or something like that. These two meddling twin sleuths dub themselves “the Trenchcoat Twins”, who solve any crime by dinnertime. How adorable….

These are by a lady named Judy Katschke, and she writes pretty good in here. Also, these don’t have pictures, and some books you may read (especially picture books to the younger ones) may do have pictures. These don’t. Here are some titles I’ve read:

One I especially have longed to read is The Case of the Hollywood Who-Done-It. Just by glimpsing at the covers of some books, I instantly want to read them. That’s what happened with me and this book. I have wanted to read it since I first got introduced to it, let alone The New Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley alone. These are good books, and there is at least half a shelf full of these books at the Portage District Library, or maybe even more. They’re in the back of the Juvenile Room (no, not prison), at the Paperback Collection (along with titles like Chillers and Goosebumps), because the first two words of “Katschke” are KA, and the K-Z’s, about, get in the Paperback Collection. My thoughtful estimate. So today, maybe tomorrow, get to the Portage District Library and check out at least one of these books. Well, you don’t have to, like it’s a requirement that you mustn’t neglect. Boys can dwell off, while excited girls with flee to the PDL. But if you’re a girly dude…

There’s literally magic in every page that hooks me in like Scorpion’s spear…GET OVER HERE!

So, GET OVER to the PDL and get a Mary Kate & Ashley book.

– Sam



Hey guys it’s me Sam and guess what? You know Fancy Pants Adventures, or at least the Fancy Pants Man? You know, this guy?:

Well, have you played his games? World 1 and World 2? Well, guess what? The guy who makes this shiz is named Brad Borne, and he said he’s working on WORLD 3!!!!! Like totally awesomely awesome right? Well, this is what the expectations are in the third world:

Swimming and water-related levels

The introduction of Fancy Pants Man’s little sister, Cutie Pants Girl (who wears a dress) will occur. She has the capability of swinging from ceilings with the help of her cat, Kitten Kabootle. It is unknown if she can swim.

A lengthened, more complexed plot involving pirates and ninjas.

Pencil combat. Fancy Pants Man will now wield a pencil as of Newgrounds Rumble.

Fancy Pants Man now has a spin attack.

Improved moves, backgrounding, and animation.

The introduction of special rooms of which you must perform a string of moves to earn points.

New villainous characters including Angry Duck, frogs, as well as pirates and ninjas.

Rumor says it, that World 3 will involve multiplayer gameplay.

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So just keep ur eyes peeled for World 3! It is confirmed that it will be entering a beta in mid-2010. So just keep ur eyes peeled for the third world of Fancy Pants Adventures!

L8trs,

Sam