When I was a wee young man, I was raised on Nickelodeon. Figure It Out, GUTS, Double Dare 2000, SpongeBob, I watched it all. But around summer 2008, I ripped my eyes from Nick for the first time ever and became a fan of–you probably guessed it–Cartoon Network. Chowder and Flapjack were probably my top two most-watched series from the Network at the time, but then I saw something that hooked me like a trout. Something I’m a strong fan of to this very day. The killer app that brought me and probably millions of other people just like me to become fans of Cartoon Network. It also showed me that Canada isn’t just home of the ice hockey. It is called Total Drama. Now, for a boring recap of the past four seasons. If you want to skip down, scroll down a bit. Or press Ctrl+F and type four periods.
They were split into two teams: the Screaming Gophers and the Killer Bass. These two teams were given challenges for each episode–from dodgeball to Fear Factor–and at the end of each episode there was a final campfire gathering for the losing team. Every camper received a marshmallow to ensure they were safe for another episode–except one unlucky teen. They had to walk the Dock of Shame, and were taken away by the Boat of Losers. This process went on for 26 episodes over the course of seven months (June to December 2008), and ultimately after a season of sabotage, heartbreak, and alliances, one camper walked away with a grand prize of $100,000. But that wasn’t the case in other countries. In the PAL region, the loser of the American version was actually the winner. I guess they wanted to change things up, which became a recurring occurrence in future seasons.
The season’s special didn’t come until spring 2010, when the cast was nominated for a Gemmie Award for best reality show ensemble. The drama is documented by the hosts of Celebrity Manhunt (a celeb gossip show), Josh and Blaineley. Yes, Blaineley is a girl. However, this heartfelt reunion takes a detour when Chris announces that he will be replacing them with a new show called Total Drama Dirtbags. In an attempt to save their fame, all of the contestants (plus newcomer Sierra) race to NYC to defeat a team of dirtbags and their leader Alejandro. But what does Chris really have planned?…That’s right, a season three! 17 contestants managed to win the reward of starring in season 3, while seven unlucky campers were left in the dust.
There are now three teams instead of two: Team Amazon, Team Victory, and Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot. Yeah, you can kinda tell who named that last one. Anyway, this process continued for another 26 episodes over six months, and there was no season special.
They’ll be split into two teams: the Heroic Hamsters and the Villainous Vultures, pitting the good guys against the bad guys. So far, the official Hamsters are Cameron, Gwen, Mike, Sierra, and Zoey. The official Vultures are Alejandro, Heather, and Courtney. The grand prize will still be a million bucks, but halfway through the season things will change dramatically. The Hamsters and Vultures will disband, and the winner of every future challenge receives immunity for only themselves, and a non-immune camper gets voted off. The process continues until it comes down to two campers, which will decide the winner and the loser.
Christian Potenza, the voice of Chris, has released some lines from the fourth episode of the season:
“When a Hero’s eating time is up, they hear this … and the Villains get this … Last time on a very special episode of Total Drama All-Stars: … Say hello to my metal friend! … I sincerely doubt it, Al … next, I’ll allow it, his pain was our gain … Which team will finish their barf-tastic breakfast first? Find out after the break on Total Drama All-Stars!”
The series was originally going to premiere this summer, but now it should be premiering anytime in Q4 2013. Canadians should expect it next winter.
This will probably be the start of something new and something big for Total Drama: for season six, they’re moving to a new island. Pahkitew Island, to be exact. The season will contain 14 contestants and 13 episodes, and Canadians should expect it next fall. Right now, not much is known about season six except for what the island could look like. Also, in case you didn’t know, Pahkitew is Cree for “explode”. Oh joy.
Anyway, that’s it for this week! Are you excited for the next two seasons coming out? Have you been a fan of Total Drama from the very beginning, and will you be until the very end? Find out when All Stars and Pahkitew Island premiere on Cartoon Network! Make sure to tune in every Friday for awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America (and Canada),
Video of the Week: I’m not really one to Facebook quite yet, but news is spreading like wildfire that the social network is updating in quite infuriating ways. This viral hit from ExtremelyDecentFilms shows what it would be like if these updates happened in real life, and it amplifies the frustration in the most hilarious ways.
Last fall (I know I’ve been saying “last summer” for a while now), I made a post about Adventure Time‘s complete first season finally hitting DVD, alongside the Reg Show Slack Pack. I went into immense detail describing each and every episode, and since then I’ve been taking a look at their most recent DVDs in the same fashion. Over a year after the release of the complete first season DVD, Finn and Jake’s second round of adventures have finally been condensed onto one disc that offers 26 episodes of adventure beyond any other.
Adventure Time debuted on Cartoon Network in 2010, and it redefined the–alright, enough with the boring monologue about the show, we all know you came for the eps!
“It Came from the Nightosphere” – This is probably one of the best AT episodes out there, and scored the show its first Primetime Emmy nomination. Anyway, after Marcie sings a song about the corrupted relationship between her and her father, Finn attempts to make Marcie feel better by traveling into the Nightosphere to release her dad. However, instead of reconciling with his daughter he goes on a savage rampage throughout Ooo, heartlessly eating souls with a few condescending one-liners. When Finn discovers the problem he has created, he attempts to defeat Marcie’s father while at the same time attempting to conciliate Marcie.
“The Eyes” – When Finn and Jake are trying to get some quality sleep, they are kept awake by a horse that stands in the wake of the moon staring the two down. They try and fail various times to block the horse from their sight, and they are forced to come out and attempt to confront the horse themselves. Its “whacked out poo brain” cannot decipher what the two are saying, so they attempt to get rid of it using the strangest and weirdest violence-free methods. In this episode, we learn that Jake can play Beethoven and Mozart on his viola: most specifically, Moonlight Sonata and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
“Loyalty to the King” – When F & J rescue the Engagement Ring Princess from the Ice King’s clutches, our frosty fiend is distraught that ERP has supposedly broken up with him. Meanwhile, a new king called “the Nice King” becomes an icon among the princesses. When Princess Princess Princess mentions the new king in front of F & J, they decide to become the king’s knights. When the king “imprisons” the princesses and makes them find a suitably beautiful princess to marry, he sends F & J on an important mission that uncovers a dark secret about the new king…
“Blood Under the Skin” – When Finn gets a splinter, he visits Choose Goose to get a protective thimble which causes several nearby knights (especially Sir Slicer) to ridicule him and show off their armor. When Finn asks Choose Goose to hook him up with some click-click armor, his offer to trade the armor for Jake’s head is rejected, so he gives them a poem which leads them on a quest to find the Armor of Zeldron. Which, according to Choosy, is totally click-click. He must travel through a swamp, silence the echoing of the woods, and defeat the one thing that stands between him and his armor. All while avoiding Sir Slicer and his endless stack of condescending ridicules.
“Storytelling” – Jake has become ill, and his one request from Finn is to tell him a story. But not just any story. This story needs to contain romance, fighting, suspense, and a happy ending. To find elements for his story, Finn travels to the forest where his story search ends up getting out of hand–he catches Boobafina the duck and Mr. Fox making out for “romance”, starts a fight with Teenage Bear for “fighting”, and even threatens a nest of birds with a rock for “suspense.” But by the time he realizes what he’s doing to the forest inhabitants is wrong, Finn faces “becoming one with the soil” when he hears the call of the wild…
“Slow Love” – When a snail named Snorlock attacks the treehouse, he says he comes in peace and is simply looking for love. When Snorlock ends up using the treehouse as a shell, Finn and Jake attempt to teach Snorlock the bases of talking to the ladies with role-playing, saying that feminine mollusks love men with swords. When Snorlock finds a sword and beatboxes at the same time, he woos a group of female snails that begin to destroy the house. When Finn & Jake attempt to protect their house, they discover Snorlock’s darkest secret…
“Power Animal” – When Finn’s energy and focus becomes the center of attention at a roof party, a vague gnome is told by him that he has enough energy to run a huge machine. Not weird at all, right? Well, after the party at night Finn is kidnapped by the gnome, befuddling Jake and BMO at his absence in the morning. Meanwhile at Finn’s captive headquarters, the gnome from the party is revealed to be the Grandmaster of the Gnomes, and he had been captured by his henchmen to–you guessed it–use his immense energy to power the “Upturnoverdrive”, which will flip around the entire world on its axis. When Jake realizes Finn is missing, he searches for him but must overcome several distractions including telling jokes with Nymphs and being possessed with the energy of a thousand partying demons… (Yeah, you heard me.)
“Crystals Have Power” – After Jake wins a “tough guy contest”, he has a flashback dream of his father saying, “It’s okay to hurt anyone”, which he strongly disagrees with. Thence Jake decides to start a non-violence vow–however, his timing is off, as a crystal they find opens a portal to the Crystal Dimension, where Finn is kidnapped for their great master. What makes the situation go from bad to worse is that Jake must go to non-violent resorts to save Finn while he is being crystallized. When Finn becomes a crystal, Jake laments over his fallen friend when a crystal version of Tree Trunks suddenly appears and a secret or two gets revealed… (Man, what’s with all the secrets? And why is Finn getting kidnapped so much?)
“The Other Tarts” – The royal tart is the most delicious confection in the entire Candy Kingdom, and people would risk their lives just for a single bite of it. The only one reliable enough to take these tarts through the whole kingdom and into the Badlands for the back rubbing ceremony was the Royal Tart Toter. As the Toter is now too old and daft to do his job, PB needs a new Toter to take the royal tarts into the Badlands–and who else to rely on but Finn and Jake? But this is a life-or-death situation–if the two fail to deliver the tarts punctually, PB will be beheaded! Knowing that a princess’ head is on the line, the duo chooses to defend the tarts by taking the most perilous routes, but the plan goes haywire when they come across threats from a group of hobos to a cave of zombies…
“To Cut A Woman’s Hair” – This is easily one of the greatest and most pivotal Adventure Time episodes ever made, and it is among my all-time favorites. The story starts when Finn and Jake are chewing apples to feed the masticated matter to a group of baby birds, and their mother rewards the two by calling them heroes. Meanwhile, a tree witch, who was apparently eavesdropping the entire time, emerges from the bushes in awe of standing before true heroes. She is unhappy with her balding, and would love to have a nice head of hair. When F & J attempt to flirt with her, she shows that she’s legitimate by threatening to suck Jake into her “bottomless bottom” (talk about a black hole theory), so Finn goes on a journey to find some princess hair for the tree witch before Jake gets sucked in.
“The Chamber of Frozen Blades” – This episode was so creative, I’ve created my own Street Fighter IV-based fighting game for it. Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. Anyway, F & J are having a stakeout in the Ice Kingdom, observing the Ice King’s frosty fortress. They’ve seen no change for six hours, so they decide to go in. Finn wants to hide until the Ice King comes back, but Jake resorts to abandoning their hiding spot, which causes Finn to chuck a meatball at him. He misses and hits their foe’s holo-computer instead, which ends up breaking into a sheet of ice that uncovers the Ice King’s secret ninja cave. As they learn the art of fridjitzu and become ice ninjas, they play around with their powers and test their abilities. Meanwhile, the Ice King is at a hospital with a seemingly sick Gunter, but once he returns home (causing F & J to hide once more) he realizes his penguin pal isn’t sick at all…
“Her Parents” – Lady Rainicorn is apprehensive about letting her parents meet Jake during lunch, since rainicorns and dogs have had some past beef to the point of warfare for territory in the Crystal Dimension (how convenient), and she is nervous her parents will hate Jake as they hate all dogs. Finn uses condiments to paint Jake up and covers the house with rainbow jelly to trigger a rainicorny ambience. When Lady’s parents arrive, they can speak proper English due to universal translators, and they initially believe Jake is a “handsome rainicorn”. As Finn helps Jake pull off the rainicorn persona while playing traditional rainicorn games like Capeladapelawamapthhpppppthhhhh, Finn is overworked, injured, and about to lose his final straw. Unfortunately, when Jake says that his friend is “a little raw but has great taste”, they interpret this as believing that Finn is their lunch…
“The Pods” – When our heroes stumble upon a dying Gnome Knight that has been turned into a frog, and needs a “pure hero” to protect a chest with three magic pods inside. Apparently two are good and one is evil, and that one evil pod must be destroyed once and for all. Finn and Jake accept his offer moments before he dies, and they decide to plant the pods to see which one is evil. The next day, one pod splits open to reveal a group of cute piglets in several costumes including a chef, a bumblebee, and a magician. The second splits open to reveal a pack of magic wands, which the piglets play with. The third splits open to reveal nothing but ice cream. Eventually, Finn and Jake discover that they’ve signed up for more than they bargained for when the piglets mysteriously vanish…
“The Silent King” – After F & J defeat the tyrannical ruler of the goblin race, King Xergiok, they get taken to the Goblin Kingdom’s palace where they meet the royal chief-of-staff, Gummy, who wishes for Finn to become their new king. Since Xergiok loved to spank his fellow goblins on the tush, the goblins were surprisingly unfamiliar with compassionate treatment. Finn attempts to reject the offer, but after realizing that the goblins could start a destructive war without a ruler, he accepts the offer and has Jake as his “queen”. Unfortunately, when he and Jake refuse to read the book of royal rules, he discovers that goblins run under a very restricted system that prohibits him from brushing his teeth, chewing his food, or even helping goblins in trouble! Speaking of misfortune, Xergiok is planning the ultimate attack-with-a-vengeance on the kingdom with an army of Earclops in an attempt to finish what he had started…
“The Real You” – At the Candy Kingdom, PB is holding her annual science BBQ and Finn and Jake attempt to present her a gift–a scale model of the Candy Kingdom made from Finn’s spit bubbles–when she ends up sneezing it away. Chet (that candy corn zombie from “Slumber Party Panic”, but in non-zombie form) and Peppermint Butler quarrel over who will be the BBQ’s grillmeister, and they end up knocking over the grill and starting a fire which Finn puts out quickly and heroically. Impressed by Finn’s heroism, PB grants him the honor of being a speaker at the BBQ. Finn, apprehensive about not being intelligent enough to impress PB, goes to the library with Jake to stock up on smarts, They get extremely bored and cause a ruckus which gets them kicked out. After unsuccessfully infiltrating a Worm College class, Finn visits Choose Goose’s magic shack. There he discovers the Glasses of Nerdicon–in exchange for entertainment–which instantly levels him up to full out genius, knowing every concept of the universe and beyond like nobody’s business. But could Finn’s smartness be his biggest downfall at the BBQ?
“Guardians of Sunshine” – Finn and Jake are spending time playing Guardians of Sunshine on BMO, complaining about how their enemies and lava pits are nothing but a cakewalk. However, the difficulty level bumps up when they face the final boss–Sleepy Sam–who kills them, like every other time they’ve played the game. Finn wonders how it would be like if they were in the game, so at night they trick a sleeping BMO into pressing a panel button on his control pad and transporting them into the game. They are converted to 3D, where they discover that the game is bigger than humanly conceptualized, and Jake attempts to cross the pit like he usually would in real life–he dies twice. When Finn dies once when facing Bouncy Bee, and they are unable to beat Hunny Bunny. If Finn and Jake couldn’t beat these bosses, Sleepy Sam must be a pain in the everywhere…
“Death in Bloom” – PB puts F & J in charge of her Princess Plant while she attends a science conference in Veggie Village, but it turns out that F & J have no plant-sitting experience whatsoever. In fact, F & J’s absurd techniques kill the plant before the end of the day, and Finn brings up the idea of trekking to the land of the dead to claim its soul before PB returns. Peppermint Butler overhears this and opens up a portal for the two, which leads them into the underworld. When they come across Death, the person they need most, he furtively uses reverse psychology to erase Jake’s memory and challenges Finn to a music battle for both the plant’s soul and Jake’s memories. But here’s the plot takes a turn–every contest needs its judge…
“Susan Strong” – While uprooting taffy-tree stumps, Finn and Jake come across a strange metal hatch in the ground. They follow its path to an underground garbage-infested cave, which is actually inhabited with the tribe of the “Hyoomans”. (Sound it out. ) Among these Hyoomans is one Hyooman that Finn and Jake focus solely on. As Finn had mentioned the sun coming down into the cave, she tells them “su-sun” when they ask for her name, which is interpreted as Susan. After seeing her inhuman strength, F & J ultimately name her Susan Strong. When they decide to bring Susan to the surface to teach them about the world surrounding them–like with any beginner–they get more than they bargained for, and eventually they have to stop Susan from getting to the Candy Kingdom to–you know.
“Mystery Train” – To celebrate Finn’s thirteenth birthday, he and Jake board a train with a mysterious pink-skinned conductor. While riding, Col. Candy Corn and Mr. Candy Cane end up bumping into one another on the bumpy ride, which infuriates the colonel. However, when the train goes through a tunnel–making everything pitch black–only Mr. Candy Cane’s skeleton remains! Doctor Donut accuses the colonel of being the perpetrator, but Finn knows that the murderer would never be the first one suspected. When sharing details about a person who could’ve framed him, the colonel is found dead after the lights flicker again. A gumdrop states that anyone could be the murderer–even Finn–and quite ironically (almost poetically) he is the next to go. The train ride quickly turns into a high-speed whodunit with innocents dying left and right, and Finn’s final suspect is the Conductor himself, who had used an alibi of being “awesome and cool”. After the epiphany, Finn and the Conductor engage in a hardcore fight possibly to the death…
“Go With Me” – While having a sunset picnic, Jake brings up the Couples Only Movie Night to Finn, but he is unsure who to go with. Jake is already hooked with Lady, and Finn tries to practice his kissing skills on a duck, only to freak it out. Jake ends up being his wingman for movie night and teacher about basic couples, and Finn decides to call someone that he didn’t need to kiss. It is none other than PB, who unfortunately turns down Finn’s “romantic” offer since she was practicing for the Whistling Choir Death Match Championship. Finn is distraught, but Jake motivates him by saying she really did want to go and they just need to “convince” her. Finn ends up using Marcie to make PB jealous by using several phases, and even some of Marcie’s more abrasive advice. When PB is drawn more and more away from Finn as his plans become more and more strange, Finn discovers that his perfect girl was right under his nose…
“Belly of the Beast‘ – When Finn and Jake’s Tree Fort gets all shook up, rudely awakening them from their slumbers, they find a firework-spewing beast outside the fort. After hearing cries from inside the beast, they decide to venture inside the behemoth’s body to rescue the victim–the victim actually being a bear who needs help putting up streamers. In fact, inside the monster’s stomach F & J find themselves inside an entire bear rave complete with flashing lights and fireworks, every partygoer seeming oblivious to the rave’s location. When they fail to get any attention with their statement, they decide to reconcile with the party’s patriarch–heh heh, its “party”-triarch–Party Pat (Andy Samberg), whom resides at the “blood waterbed” that is the beast’s heart. And besides, if Pat leaves, everyone follows. And not even a syrupy duet ballad from the two can save the bears from their possible fates. Let’s just say it involves a lot of lava…
“The Limit” – When looking at the night sky, they hope for a shooting star to come so they can wish for an Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant. However, a firework streaks across the sky instead and makes a message upon explosion that says “BUTT”. This actually means “Baby Us Trouble Time”, which is a distress signal from Hot Dog Princess’ knights, who are trapped in a labyrinth. Our heroes decide to investigate themselves, and they are pointed to a wish-granting beast at the center of the maze. However, in this labyrinth, Jake’s powers have a limit which is clearly shown as Jake grows paler and weaker. As Finn and Jake reach the heart of the labyrinth, Jake becomes inches away from his breaking point as Finn gets closer to solving the puzzle…
“Video Makers” – You may not know it, but Finn and Jake hold their own annual nightly Finn and Jake Movie Club at their tree fort. Tonight they’re showing old Mushroom War-era flicks (the War was what made Ooo look all post-apocalyptic-y), but one thing is restricting them–and if you guessed copyrighting, you were correct. Realizing that they’ve been committing criminal actions of illegally showing copyrighted movies, they decide to cancel for the night (despite Jake believing the pre-War copyright was powerless) and eventually find a video camera after the Club, and decide to show their own movies at the club. The next day, Finn, Jake, BMO, and Princess Bubblegum all work together to create a movie. But while Finn wants a tense action-adventure, Jake–surprisingly–wants a syrupy romcom. And with every piece of footage Finn makes come criticism from Jake, and with every piece of footage Jake makes comes criticism from Finn, and so on. And left with the prestigious job of editor, BMO’s got his hands full over what to do–until he decides to quit the fight through the movie.
“Mortal Folly” – After a session of meditating on the balcony, Finn and Jake are given special gems from Princess Bubblegum like the one in her tiara, set to protect them at where they were just about to go–the chamber of an evil sorcerer known as the Lich King, currently trapped in an amber prison. The gems’ protection purposes were that just staring at the Lich without this gem would possess you, similar to how anyone who dared to stare at Medusa turned to stone. Unfortunately, at this time the Waving Snail (you might have seen him in
Easter eggs cameos in select episodes) crawls in, gets possessed, and slowly breaks the Lich’s amber prison and sets him free! Only left with the gems, the Gauntlet of Billy (Ooo’s greatest hero), and a pink sweater (for Finn as a token of affection, obviously), Finn and Jake must venture on what must be their most dangerous journey yet to prevent the Lich from regaining all his power. At the same time, they must break through an equally dangerous problem–the Ice King with his persistent pesters to receive a blessing to marry PB.
“Mortal Recoil” – Now, I’m gonna have to spoil what happened at the end of “Mortal Folly” or else “Mortal Recoil” really won’t make much sense. Y’see, after the Lich’s defeat, the Ice King decided to pick up PB to “set her free”–but only clumsily and rather stupidly dropped her into the Lich’s Well of Power. The effect of the boiling well melted her body through–remember, she’s Princess Bubblegum–but, despite what the title card foreshadows, she did not die. She was rushed to the Candy Kingdom’s hospital, and (in a scene resembling your average super-cheesy medical drama) she was thankfully revived although she briefly flatlined. Tons of people came to see her recover, including Finn, Jake, and the Ice King. And Finn got a new pack courtesy of the princesses as a token for beating the Lich! Finn’s really put the Ice King on his blacklist now–this was clearly seen at the hospital–but he and Jake offer to nurse PB back to health. But they find some strange occurings in PB’s behavior, like crawling, heavy breathing, convulsions and other spasms. But as the day goes on, it is shown that the Well really left its mark on PB, turning her into an altered beast that Finn and Jake must fight to save Ooo and every single lifeform in it.
“Heat Signature” – In the season finale, Finn and Jake visit Marcie as she and her friends watch Heat Signature, which could be by the looks of it a sci-fi horror/thriller (considering its tagline is a blatant Alien reference). These friends of hers are three ghosts: Wendy, Booboo, and Georgy. When Finn is discomforted by Marcie’s couch (which she never uses due to her flying powers), he and Jake wish they were vampires or ghosts. Marcie tells the two to close their eyes for the Biting Ritual–which is actually the Pinching and Ketchup-Dabbing Ritual. The prank continues when Finn and Jake believe that they’re invisible and try to mess with LSP, but Marcie’s ghost friends become more and more hostile to the point of attempted murder…
Now don’t be hopping out of your chair and driving to your nearest Walmart–this baby hits stores in two weeks, the Tuesday after next Tuesday. That gives you a lot of time to save money and stuff. Well, that’s all folks! Tune in next Friday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
Video of the Week: It wasn’t a real hard decision to pick this video. Ever since my big bro introduced me to South Korean pop music (“K-pop”), I became overwhelmed with all these artists I was listening to. I actually put up a post about one of those artists a while back–remember, Girls’ Generation? Anyway, this was another Korean artists Chris introduced me to–well, actually they’re a trio. They’re called Clazziquai Project, or just Clazziquai, and they specialize in making the best Korean house in the country. They have released several albums: Instant Pig, Color Your Soul, Love Child of the Century, the three-part Mucho series, and their latest one Blessed. This song comes from Instant Pig, and it was probably the trio’s first breakthrough hit on a trail of success. It talks about a girl and a guy singing sort of a “he said she said” love song from two different perspectives, and it’s called “Sweety”. This is probably my favorite song. Like, ever.
Here’s the English version:
I’ve been a diehard for Cartoon Network as long as I can remember, ever since it introduced one of the biggest pieces of my brain’s nostalgia center–Tom & Jerry. When I don’t have anything to catch up with, or I do but I’m just kinda procrastinating, I usually spend my time playing their site’s games. You already know that I have some major beef with the Adventure Time games (excluding Jumping Finn, which is actually good), strong faith with the Reg Show games, and keen interests in the Gumball games. Well, take these three shows and a whole lot more, convert them to 3D, and cram them into one game. What do you get? No, not Formula Cartoon. You get this.
FusionFall Heroes is the sequel to the well-renowned FusionFall Universe which Cartoon Network introduced back in 2009. Instead of an open-world experience where you could interact with some of your favorite characters, this is a nonstop action RPG very similar to DOTA. In FFH, you play characters such as Finn and Mordecai, and you get automatically sent into a level. Each level is different–you could be fighting the Tech Queen, while your friend could be fighting the Graveworm. Before you fight the levels’ bosses, you must go through about four waves of smaller enemies. I’ve classified my enemies into two categories:
- The enemies that die with one hit, also known as the petite enemies
- The enemies that take a round of hits to die, also known as the buff enemies
Anyway, if you’re not a very skilled fighter and you get major health blows, you’re in luck. At your side are medical chests (marked with red crosses) that have health boosters in the forms of breakfast foods like jellied toast, cereal, and pancakes. Also, at your side are very special chests (marked with the infinity sign) that offer special powers once opened. I call it Infinity Power since I really don’t know what the official name is. Once you consume the IP, a five-bar gauge next to your health fills. Once at least one bar is full, you can right-click to perform a special attack that takes away -266 of the enemy’s damage. If you die, you don’t need to restart your fight–you respawn automatically, which saves me a lot of stress and fury. Furthermore, there are these red barrels that explode a few seconds after being hit, which is an easy way to wipe out a pack of petites.
Right now I’m kicking butt as Finn, and my gamer alias is “Major Zelda”. So if you see that name anywhere while you’re playing FFH, think of me. Anyway, I got hooked onto the game a few weeks ago, the first time I played it. I was bored out of my mind and probably killed an hour or so playing Heroes. What made me so addicted to the game, kept me going back for more, was that it so easy to master. A simple click of the mouse equals a swing of the sword, and that’s probably all you need to know besides that special attack. I love how something new pops up every time I play, and they always have the greatest and most unique boss fights. Albeit they’re not very hard boss fights (I mowed through two in my first sitting), they always relate to the environment you’re fighting in. For example, if you’re fighting monsters made out of auto parts in a junkyard, you’re gonna get a monster made out of cars. Most specifically, the Truckosaurus Rex. Furthermore, if you’re fighting monsters made of electronic parts in a fancy lab, you’re gonna get a giant electronic monster made of enough energy to run a parking lot of Nissan Leaves. Most specifically, the Tech Queen. I also appreciate the 3D techniques that were transcribed from Formula Cartoon.
However, its tendency to repeat levels is very annoying, and the first time I played I thought it was because I hadn’t saved. Then I realized you couldn’t save. Anyway, if I defeat the Tech Queen once, I’m not interested in defeating her five more times. Also, the game’s excitement does quickly wear off, and you find yourself very bored instead of very thrilled. Also, the game does lag sometime on me, which is no fun for an RPGamer. The game’s solo content does get a bit rusty after awhile, but it does offers a
party co-op mode that I haven’t tried yet, since I have no friends to co-op with.
Well, let’s not tell sob stories and get to our chart.
- Immersive gameplay
- Gorgeous 3D environments ala Formula Cartoon
- No-brainer controls
- Medical and Infinity Chests serve as helpful aid kits
- Ingenious boss fights
- Gets tedious and boring after a while
- Cantankerous tendency to repeat fights
- Annoying lags that slow down battle paces
- Offers a middling amount of content in solo mode
FINAL CONSENSUS: FusionFall Heroes is very addictive and unparalleled for a Cartoon Network title, but for any ordinary browser-based RPG it has very insipid flaws such as fight repeats, lags, and conspicuous tedium. However, the game does offer enough to have you coming back for more, which says something.
FINAL SCORE: 8.3/10 (great)
Well, with all that aside, make sure to subscribe if you’re new, and don’t forget–press the like button. Come back next Monday for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak!
Stay classy America,
Video of the Week: Pogo already gave us not one but two Videos of the Week last time (“Living Island” and “Roarcraft“), so it shouldn’t be a surprise I found something really good this week. This video was the third one Pogo ever released, and it was actually put up back in May 2008. It’s not really a remix of anything–it’s Bertke’s first original song. It’s called “SplurgenShitter”, and if you have any questions about the name, don’t ask me because I don’t know. Don’t ask Bertke, because he won’t tell you. Besides, it got paired up with footage of Nick dancing around wearing a Darth Vader mask and it has 1.1 million hits. Quality Internet video!
(You could also find a 4-minute version of the song on Weave and Wish, an EP Bertke released in 2009.)
Our Bonus Video of the Week is a Pogo remix of Lord of the Rings (the Frodo era, not the Bilbo era) that came out in March 2011 and has 1.9 million hits. Someone actually had the nerve to role-play as Frodo, comment on the video, and 3 weeks later it got 187 likes. A true quality Internet video.
Hey guys it’s Sam, back to kick off season 2013 with style! If you’re wondering why I’ve been gone for the past few weeks, here’s a one word answer: SCHOOL. But luckily, I’ve got some juicy news that will make your whole week! Remember back last summer when I gave off news about Adventure Time‘s latest DVD? Well, guess what? It’s going back into that world with a brand-new 16-episode DVD that sporadically capture the best of its seasons!
Let’s start with Adventure Time. Back in fall 2011, Cartoon Network put out a new Adventure Time episode that was like no other. It answered the classic question many fans of the show asked: “What if Finn was a girl, Jake was a cat, and the entire land of Ooo got gender-swapped?” Several days later, Adventure Time unraveled an entirely new world within its fanbase, from fan art to fan fiction. Fionna and Cake also began to dominate the media through Adventure Time merchandise (especially via Hot Topic), and soon it was proven to the entire nation that this show had not yet lost its a-game. To pay some respect due to that groundbreaking episode, Cartoon Network took it and fifteen other episodes and packed it into the show’s first DVD of the year, known simply as Fionna and Cake. This DVD spans from the show’s second season all the way to its fourth. Let’s check out what experiences this DVD has to offer.
“Fionna and Cake” (S3 E9) – Yep, this was the episode that changed the land of Ooo and everything associated with it forever. Finn has now become the spunky Fionna, and Jake has become her peppy feline companion Cake. PB has become the elegant Prince Gumball, and Lady Rainicorn has become the silent and colorless Lord Monochromicorn. Ice King has become the cruel Ice Queen, too. In this episode, Fionna and Cake are helping PG decorate for the Biennial Gumball Ball, when suddenly the Ice Queen crashes the ball to kidnap PG! Luckily, all three of them get through the surprise attack without a scratch. Later, chemistry starts to form between Fionna and PG, and to get her prepared for a worst-case scenario Cake begins giving Fionna guy advice. But not even the power of love can protect them from the dangers that lie ahead…
“Storytelling” (S2 E5) – Jake has become ill, and his one request from Finn is to tell him a story. But not just any story. This story needs to contain romance, fighting, suspense, and a happy ending. To find elements for his story, Finn travels to the forest where his story search ends up getting out of hand–he catches Boobafina the duck and Mr. Fox making out for “romance”, starts a fight with Teenage Bear for “fighting”, and even threatens a nest of birds with a rock for “suspense.” But by the time he realizes what he’s doing to the forest inhabitants is wrong, Finn faces “becoming one with the soil” when he hears the call of the wild…
“The Other Tarts” (S2 E9) – The royal tart is the most delicious confection in the entire Candy Kingdom, and people would risk their lives just for a single bite of it. The only one reliable enough to take these tarts through the whole kingdom and into the Badlands for the back rubbing ceremony was the Royal Tart Toter. As the Toter is now too old and daft to do his job, PB needs a new Toter to take the royal tarts into the Badlands–and who else to rely on but Finn and Jake? But this is a life-or-death situation–if the two fail to deliver the tarts punctually, PB will be beheaded! Knowing that a princess’ head is on the line, the duo chooses to defend the tarts by taking the most perilous routes, but the plan goes haywire when they come across threats from a group of hobos to a cave of zombies…
“The Silent King” (S2 E14) – After F & J defeat the tyrannical ruler of the goblin race, King Xergiok, they get taken to the Goblin Kingdom’s palace where they meet the royal chief-of-staff, Gummy, who wishes for Finn to become their new king. Since Xergiok loved to spank his fellow goblins on the tush, the goblins were surprisingly unfamiliar with compassionate treatment. Finn attempts to reject the offer, but after realizing that the goblins could start a destructive war without a ruler, he accepts the offer and has Jake as his “queen”. Unfortunately, when he and Jake refuse to read the book of royal rules, he discovers that goblins run under a very restricted system that prohibits him from brushing his teeth, chewing his food, or even helping goblins in trouble! Speaking of misfortune, Xergiok is planning the ultimate attack-with-a-vengeance on the kingdom with an army of Earclops in an attempt to finish what he had started…
“Death in Bloom” (S2 E17) – PB puts F & J in charge of her Princess Plant while she attends a science conference in Veggie Village, but it turns out that F & J have no plant-sitting experience whatsoever. In fact, F & J’s absurd techniques kill the plant before the end of the day, and Finn brings up the idea of trekking to the land of the dead to claim its soul before PB returns. Peppermint Butler overhears this and opens up a portal for the two, which leads them into the underworld. When they come across Death, the person they need most, he furtively uses reverse psychology to erase Jake’s memory and challenges Finn to a music battle for both the plant’s soul and Jake’s memories. But here’s the plot takes a turn–every contest needs its judge…
“Still” (S3 E7) – When F & J wake up one morning to discover that they’ve been completely immobilized, they discover that the Ice King had sprayed the two with a freezing potion in their sleep. The only antidote for the potion is an unfreezing potion (duh) which looks exactly like its counterpart. Anyway, the reason Ice King froze the two is to bond with them. While immobile, Finn realizes that he has mental enhancements, so he cooks up a plan to put his mental powers to work. Meanwhile, Jake must sit through the Ice King’s different “bonding” techniques as Finn conjures a mental savior…
“Wizard Battle” (S3 E8) – The annual Wizard Battle has come round once again (it’s like a magic-infused Hunger Games without all the dying), and this year’s grand prize tops all others: a kiss from PB herself! (If you disapprove of the prize, you get turned into a cat.) The battle’s head, the Grand Master Wizard, states that weapons and science are prohibited and spells from the “8 schools of magic” must be used. When F & J discover that Ice King is gonna cheat his way to victory, they decide to enter disguising themselves as Magic Fist to prevent Ice King from getting that kiss, while Jake believes Finn wants the kiss for himself. To really ensure that Ice King will get his comeuppance, the duo decides to team up with a fellow contestant to stop Ice King in his ruthless tracks once and for all…
“What Was Missing” (S3 E10) – Finn, Jake, PB, and Marcie are all victims of robberies by the Door Lord, who steals BMO’s controller, Finn’s lock of PB hair, Jake’s baby blanket, among other items. They chase the Lord into Red Rock Pass where he escapes through a double door that refuses to let the gang go after him. It is then inferred by the words inscribed on the door archway–“this door shall yield to no command, save for a song from a genuine band”–that the gang must turn into a band to open the door and continue the pursuit. But this is far easier said than done, as Jake decides to make himself the band’s “jerk”, and Marcie unleashes the bitter rage PB brought into her…
“From Bad to Worse” (S3 E13) – (This was the series’ Halloween 2011 special.) I’d consider this episode to be the spiritual successor to “Slumber Party Panic”, the series’ first-ever episode (not counting the animated short). Anyway, when Cinnamon Bun’s empty stomach leads him to devour candy zombie tissue that PB has been experimenting with, he infects the entire Candy Kingdom and sparks the 2nd Candy Zombie Uprising. When PB explains a cure she has been coming up with, she gets bit by a candy zombie. She attempts to tell Finn to use Science, but is zombified with her last human words being, “Science is…muhraahh.” Now the fate of the kingdom lies in the hands of Finn, Jake, and LSP as they must concoct their own antidote to end the outbreak. But making a cure for an entire kingdom is harder than it looks, and they don’t have all the time in the land of Ooo…
“Marceline’s Closet” (S3 E21) – When F & J decide to hang at Marcie’s house to jam with her, they find a note on her door saying that she has gone and not to enter her house. Despite the warning, while playing Cloud Hunt Jake goes inside her house anyway. Unfortunately, Marcie comes back at this point, forcing Finn and Jake to take cover inside her closet to prevent them from being seen. They are forced to watch Marcie play a private song that no one can hear, made up of contents from her even more private journal. In an attempt to escape using his magic powers, Jake comes across a white spider that causes havoc around Marcie’s house. But all the embarrassment really reaches a summit when Finn sees a side of Marcie no one in Ooo should see…
“Ghost Princess” (S3 E24) – While eating hot dogs over a fire, Finn and Jake are suddenly haunted by Ghost Princess who wishes to find out how she died so she can retire to the 50th Dead World. The three visit the graveyard where GP was buried, but find only a single clue. After interrogation with the spirit buried next to GP, the trio meets a spirit named Clarence who quickly becomes GP’s pal. While the two ghastly gals attend a Spirit Waves concert, F & J continue to investigate within the cemetery, and are caught gravedigging by 3 ne’er-do-well ghosts. Luckily, GP and Clarence bail the two out before things can get ugly. Finn comes across two halves of a dagger that suspiciously spell “Clarence”, and GP discovers the dagger a shocking secret of hers is revealed…
“Incendium” (S3 E26) – When Finn receives a broken heart following a rejection from PB, Jake decides to cheer him up by finding a new love interest for him and leaves BMO in charge of Finn. On his search for Finn’s new love, he rescues a flambit named Flambo from a pack of Iron Owls, and is informed about a “hot” princess that’s Finn’s age in the Fire Kingdom. Introducing himself as the “baron of the grasslands” to the Flame King, he attempts to win the heart of Flame Princess (in her debut) in ways like a syrupy serenade. When all his efforts fail, Jake goes into drastic measures which finally impress the Flame King to hand over his “evil, destructive daughter”. After a while, Jake begins believing Flame Princess is evil, and accidentally enrages the princess to the point where he begins brawling against fiery consequences…
“Card Wars” (S4 E14) – While consuming a fine meal of sandwiches and juice, Jake brings up a board game called Card Wars that he wants he and Finn to play, since he always beats Lady Rainicorn and BMO “does not play such games” with him. The loser of the game was forced to drink a mixture of soda, coffee grounds, beetle butter, grape jelly, kimchi, and ham chunk juice. The winner of the game could drink a simple cup of soda. The game turns from a “imagination-is-everything” adventure to a holographic fight to the end, using land cards and attack cards to build their defense in a fashion that would make any Dungeons & Dragons fan shriek with glee. Unfortunately, the fun starts to diminish when Finn realizes Jake’s given himself a boost in tendencies to get frustrated or upset, and this causes him to become over-the-deep-end competitive…
“Princess Cookie” (S4 E13) – During a hostage crisis, Finn, Jake, and PB have barricaded themselves behind Banana Guards. PB attempts to negotiate with a cookie, the hostage taker, by offering her a cowboy hat instead of her crown as ransom. The cookie stubbornly turns down PB’s offer, and Finn and Jake decide to go in and help PB. Jake disguises himself as a milkman (he wanted to be a mailman), and Finn is disguised as his shadow. Jake goes in to deliver milk to all the hostages, and Finn has planned that Jake will splash the cookie with milk and yell the signal: “Alvin’s hot juicebox!” Since the cookie had chocolate chips, the plan was rendered useless and Jake decided to fix the problem by talking face-to-face with the cookie. It was revealed that the cookie, known in his day as “Baby Snap”, was an orphan in the Candy Orphanage where PB came to cheer the kids up. When PB asked Baby Snap what he wanted to be as a grown cookie, he said he wanted to be a princess just like her. PB giggles, believing it is a joke, but Baby Snap takes it seriously and believes PB had insulted her. Suddenly, Jake decides to join “Princess Cookie”‘s side and help him found his own kingdom where he could be Princess Cookie and Jake could be the mailman he always wanted to be. Unfortunately, Princess Cookie gets cornered between a rock and a hard place and ends up doing the unthinkable–trying to commit suicide…
“You Made Me” (S4 E20) – After Finn examines a Candy Person’s aura using an Aura Visualizer, he and Jake view a strange sight on a surveillance camera two Banana Guards were supervising–Lemongrab watching a Candy Person sleep. When confronted by PB, Lemongrab explains that he is alone and desolate in his castle, somberly dubbing himself the “earl of nothing”. When PB tries to extend the conversation, Lemongrab suddenly and repeatedly yells at PB the three words that make up the episode’s title, as well as calling her his “Glob”. After the strange encounter, the Candy Kingdom is gathered to find a companion for Lemongrab, but he ends up imprisoning Finn, Jake, PB, and a trio of rebellious pups in a reconditioning chamber to be electrocuted. After Lemongrab nearly kills the group, the problem ends up being resolved when–well, let’s just say two heads are better than one…
“Lady & Peebles” (S4 E19) – Finn and Jake have been gone for 3 weeks after a skirmish with Ice King, and Lady Rainicorn & PB decide to take the situation into their own hands and trek to the Black Ice Cave to begin a gadget-supported journey to find F & J. On the way, they are assaulted by giant body parts that give the duo a brush with death to keep them on their toes–or, in Lady’s case, their hooves. When Lady succumbs to mortal injury, PB carries her the rest of the way and tracks the voices of the three, and suddenly discovers what appears to be Ice King’s body, as well as a Zanoit-poisoned F & J. They suddenly realize that a classic Adventure Time villain has made his unexpected return, using Ice King’s tissue to create a new in-the-flesh body, now wanting PB’s “whole package”…
Well, those are the 16 episodes on the Fionna and Cake DVD. If you want to buy the DVD, at Amazon it costs $11.39 regular, $17.58 used, and $11.25 new. At Walmart’s website it costs $11.38, at Target’s website it costs a cent higher, and at B&N it costs a whopping $17.02. Take your pick, and make sure to tune in next time for more awesomeness courtesy of Sammwak! Oh, and make sure to tune in to Adventure Time every Monday at 7:30 only on Cartoon Network!
Stay classy America,
P.S. If you want to hear more from Adventure Time, check out these new games at their website (http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/tv_shows/adventuretime/index.html):
- Cinnamon Bun’s in a sticky situation–he needs to roll his way through the Ice Kingdom while avoiding lethal obstacles, so help him make it out with his flavor intact in One Sweet Roll.
- In the style of Legends of Ooo, get to experience Finn and Jake’s adventures like you’ve never experienced them before–in 3D! Play your way in a fully interactive world with Marcie, Lady Rainicorn, and more in Finn and Jake’s Epic Quest.
- In a sequel to Flambo’s Hot Mess, Flambo is once again literally on fire as he burns up new stages (now incorporating coal and diamonds instead of jelly beans), and now you get to unlock special new characters and even create your own levels in Flambo’s Inferno.
- Paying homage to the return of Fionna and Cake, you get to play as Fionna as you punch, kick, and blast your way through all sorts of stages and face all sorts of enemies in Fionna Fights. (The game is also available at the App Store for 99 cents, so now you can play it on the go.)
Video of the Week: A long time ago, Freddie Wong–respected as one of YouTube’s VFX kings–released a video called “First Person Mario” where the viewer was able to see World 1-1 in Super Mario Bros get played out from Mario’s perspective. The video garnered nearly 20 million views as this year, received a 3D version, and is remembered as one of Freddie’s most popular videos. A week ago, Freddie and his team had finished a 50-day rendering process for the next big “First Person Mario” project. Instead of taking place in World 1-2, it takes place in the final boss stage of Super Mario Bros 3. Yep, the one with the tanks and the cannonballs. You’ll never believe how realistic everything looks, especially once you see Bowser…
If you want to see the original, I’ve got you covered.
And here’s the 3D version of the original, but the 3D effect only works with those cheesy red-cyan 3D glasses. You can watch it without glasses–if you want your eyes to hurt like they would playing a 3DS on full-throttle 3D for over 30 minutes.
WARNING: This game review is made for the best use and comprehension of all Xbox owners, as that is the version I had played of this game. If you own the PS3 or PS Vita port of this game, you will likely not find much pro-tips in this.
Hey guys it’s Sam, and y’all know what this is–the first Sammwak post of the 2013 season! Let’s start things off right and make this a post that we’ll never forget, eh?
Define the term “crossover“; according to my Google Dictionary, it is “a point or place of crossing from one side to the other”. A notorious type of crossover is the intercompany crossover, where comic characters published from one company meet characters published by another. This has been done frequently by companies like Marvel and DC Universe, but this is the true epitome of those crossovers: a crossover game series. The Marvel vs. Capcom saga first debuted in 1996-’98 (it was first released for arcades in ’96, then the Sega Saturn in ’97, and finally the PlayStation in ’98) with X-Men vs. Street Fighter, and the rest is core history. But don’t you remember how Super Street Fighter IV amazingly rebalanced Street Fighter IV–after having already blown the fighting genre out of the water? Well, MvC‘s decided to follow in its footsteps–but is it for better or for worse?
Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is a crossover brawler released just 3/4 of the year after the original MvC 3, and is its standalone update. I say “standalone” because all this was actually planned to be MvC 3 DLC, but after the events of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake-tsunami, scheduling was disrupted and it eventually turned out as its own game. It rebalances the title much like SSF4 did for its original: it gave off new characters, new stages, and a bit of tweaking. The game works largely similar to the original: you fight against an opponent (CPU or human) surrounded with goofy comic book effects upon every painful impact. You may actually see sound effects printed onto the screen, like “THWOKK!!” and “SLAM”. When the face of death rears its ugly head, you can always jump out and be replaced by another “assist” fighter–y’see, you fight in teams of three. When a fighter is killed, they are deemed “down” and the first assist on the list is sent out. When a second fighter is down, the last man standing is sent on a long haul–this is where your X Factor really comes in handy. The Factor is a technique that increases speed and damage, which gains more power if one or both of your assists are down. This is respectively known as a Level 2 or 3 X Factor. There is also a power bar that your character has; this is your Hyper Combo bar. Successfully landed hits fill the bar, and eventually you will fill the bar entirely and level up. This keeps going until you hit the “maximum” at level 5. Once you reach Level 1-3, you can perform those levels’ Hyper Combos. They are named after the amount of bars it takes to perform the move, with Level 3 Combos being the biggest and baddest of the bunch. They’re basically like the Ultra Combos of U MvC 3.
There are also specific in-game modes that you can indulge in:
- Arcade Mode – The game’s story mode, to say the least. You fight against five CPU trios until you get to the final boss: Galactus. The thing about Galactus is–he makes you look like a fly.
I mean, the guy’s hard to beat, but it’s not impossible. A few quick one-twos, proper methods and strategy, and a whole lot of hope are the three keys that will unlock Galactus’ ultimate defeat. But there’s a lot of pressure on your shoulders; in the Olympics, you’d fight for your country. In this, you’d fight for your world. Yep–if you fail your mission you will be “world KO’ed” and you get to witness Galactus smash the Earth like a swatter against a housefly. (Awkwardly, after that point the game asks whether or not you want to continue.) But luckily, you can actually see how it’s like to be the final boss in the arcade’s Galactus Mode! (For Xbox owners, when selecting Arcade, press LB + Back + A all at the same time to unlock G Mode.) Once you defeat those five trios, you will destroy the world (which is ironically a good thing in this case) and unlock Galactus’ ending if you did this for the first time. Here are all the Xbox controls for this mode (I dubbed some of the moves myself, so at least try to imagine how painful they’d feel):
- X = Hand Dust
- Y = Palm Smash
- A or RT = One Finger Snap Back
- B = Mini Planet Destroyer
- Down + Any Attack = Fist Smash
- Forward + Any Attack = Sweeper Punch
- Up + Any Attack = Finger Laser
- Back + Any Attack = Eye Lasers
- Roll Back + Any Attack = Grab
- LT or Roll Forward + RT = Multi Finger Laser
- Roll Back + RT = Full Screen Finger/Eye Lasers
- Roll Forward + A = Ultimate Planet Destroyer (this will automatically KO the active opponent, although it takes several seconds to charge up)
- Heroes & Heralds – The first thing you need to worry about in H&H is whether or not you’re going to be a hero or a herald. If you’re a hero, you will fight to save the Earth. If you’re a herald, you will fight to attack the Earth. Y’see, all heralds are official property of Galactus. Now it all makes sense, doesn’t it? Anyway, you will fight across a number of stages starting at 0%. Beat someone, and the percentage goes up. Get to 100%, unlock a bonus level. Beat the bonus level, win a valuable ability card. Ability cards show off abilities that prove to be very useful, and these include: turning invisible while dashing, getting health back upon landing a 30-hit combo, stuff like that. But if you get beat, you actually lose percentage. So make sure you end up on the winner’s side. Oh, and I almost forgot–heralds get to be completely chrome! No, not Google Chrome. They have, like, silver bodies.
- Missions – The game also has a training mode that allows you to hone your skills in several missions with every single character. Obviously, the fighters are divided into their respective sides of Marvel or Capcom. With each fighter, you will likely see a row of faded icons. Those are missions you have yet to complete; completed missions will bring the icon to full resolution. Stumped on one mission? You can always skip to the next. Tongue-tied over controls? You can always check the mission objective. What happens if you complete all the missions?–then don’t consider visiting me for a match!
- Training Mode – Like with any game, UMvC3 comes with a training mode that allows you to fight against a “training dummy” of your choice in a surrounding of your choice. But the biggest diversity of this mode is that you can actually tinker with the settings. Change the placing of the lifebars. Give yourself infinite X Factor. Even take out health regeneration to make this into a “real fight”. Whatever floats your boat or tickles your peach, bro.
Now, Ultimate MvC3 has the fast-paced action, the cutting-edge visuals, the razor-sharp controls, the unlimited opportunities, and some sprinkles of laughs that most fighting games need. Like with titles including Street Fighter, you can alter the language settings to make every word a character utters in Japanese. This is just an example of the lack of limits the game thrives in–unfortunately, as comical as it is, it does take its powers a bit too far. There’s not much differentiation between game modes, and–like with the original–replays are still non-included. Missions are honestly kind of lackluster in the key tools that will make or break the talent of a player, and will likely just lead to some frustration with missions. Maybe some hair-pulling, but mostly frustration. It’s also not your most squeaky-clean fighting game–like in literally any fighter, females are decked up in skimpy outfits, with the exception of one character that is literally butt-naked on screen. Some unexpected swearing levels occur, and all the game’s bangs and pows can lead to action that can cover the entire screen, which is both a blessing and a curse. The missions also seem well-nigh impossible in later stages, jumping difficulties way faster than we can comprehend them. Much like in gameplay like, what, Diddy Kong Racing, the premises of the game can get quickly old. It’s really the humor, characters, and styling that forms the soft, gooey center of the game. Everything else–well, I hope you haven’t broken your sweet teeth.
1 out of 5 – Positive role models – Some of the femme fatales talk about maintaining “strong womanhood” and refusing to let male characters discount them due to their gender–but then again, have you seen what these people are wearing?
2 out of 5 – Ease of play – The controls are easy to grasp–if they just made the learning curve a bit less steep. In Street Fighter, you were treated to easy controls like “roll-forward/back” motions, or “Z” or “circle” motions. In this world, they break literally everything down. You might be taught how to do a Hadoken by it saying (down, down-at-a-right-angle, forward), but you realize you’re just rolling forward when you do the move! And how about those people who have literally way too many moves? Moves branching from other moves that themselves branched from other moves, it’s all just a big mind game. Sometimes, specific combos must be performed through an arduous series of button-pressing.
3 out of 5 – Violence – As this is a fighting game, yes it does carry a lot of pows and ows. But this game specializes in weaponry-of-choice like guns, blades, explosives, and fireballs, but not a single drop of blood is spilled. And it might be a bit worse considering these battles are 3-on-3. Even worse than “a bit worse”, all three fighters on a team can combine for one “Crossover Combination” on this one unlucky victim. As I’ve said, the action can get so out of hand that you can even lose track of the characters. But it doesn’t really leave as much marks as series like Mortal Kombat did–instead, defeated players are deemed “down”, not dead. Even more violence is depicted, shown, and foreshadowed in characters’ endings.
3 3/4 out of 5 – Inappropriate Content – Females wear some of the skimpiest in-game clothing you’ll find around, and you might see a lot of cleavage. But there’s one character known as Felicia (from Darkstalkers) that is practically the reason behind the game’s “partial nudity” label. If you were to see her, you would see that she was literally in the buff–except for some white skintight material that keeps only her most sensitive parts covered. But despite this most of her “junk in the trunk” is visible. And get this–she’s forty years old in human years! Also, a female character named Morrigan is shown pole-dancing for Wolverine in his ending.
2 3/4 out of 5 – Language – Definitely more crass than your typical fighter. “Damn”, “hell”, “b*tch”, and “a*s” are the four most commonly uttered words you’ll find in the “trash talking” that occurs before the fight. Some characters continue to utter these words in situations like a missed throw.
4 out of 5 – Product Placement – This game is a Marvel-Capcom crossover with tons of characters, some you may not have even known existed. If you were to learn about them in their bios, you’d actually be able to see their origins of comics or games.
Play-Again Ratio: A (4 points)
Smarts: C+ (2.5 points)
Fun: A- (4 points)
Style: B (3 points)
Humor: A (4 points)
Entertainment: A (4 points)
FINAL SCORE: 21.5 out of 30 (Well Done), 3.5 stars out of 5, 79% out of 100%
CONSENSUS: Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 has the roster, the action, the controls, and the excitement that any standard fighter would, but the biggest problems with the game is that it plays dirty and it plays hooky with the typical rulebook–which differentiates it from the rest both for better and for worse.
Well, I guess that’s for the kickoff of season ’13 here on Sammwak. Comment me any games that got you putting your game face on, and you could be responsible for our next review! If you prefer putting in more nostalgic and old-school games, I suggest you hop on over to 2S2M for that–we already just kicked off our new old-school game reviewing series, Insert Coin! Check out our series premiere here where I review one of history’s most timeless games–Ocarina of Time!
Stay button-pressing America,
Video of the Week: I don’t know if any of you have heard about this, but there’s a new show on Cartoon Network that’s gonna be hitting the primetime in exactly three weeks. It’s called Nick Cannon’s Incredible Crew, or just Incredible Crew for short. If you missed the one-hour series preview back on the 31st –aka “Incredible Crew Year’s Eve”–you’re not out of luck. I got a special treat for you that wasn’t in the preview at all, and it’s directly from the official cartoonnetwork channel. It stars Crew member Jeremy Shada–who’s also done work on the Network as the voice of Adventure Time‘s Finn–in a sweet 2-minute music video about his after-school trip with his mom to run errands at the bank, salon, and to pick up his little sister at ballet. All this is interpreted in a sweet rap that is catchy, innovative, and vibrant. And you ain’t seen nothing yet from Incredible Crew, so check out the series premiere on January 24th at 8/7c–only on Cartoon Network!
I know, I know. Our third case of déjà vu. But seriously, when it comes to the compact disc age Mordo & Rigs have got their hands full. But two Tuesdays ago, the park came out with their biggest DVD yet. A title that put even their Slack Pack to shame. Cartoon Network and Warner Home Video have come together to bring us the biggest, baddest, brutal-est, and bombastic-est moments of their third season. Ironic, considering this is their second DVD yet. But now they have sixteen episodes compared to their last DVD’s twelve, and it’s got an even special-er special feature than that lame special feature short! Ladies and gents, I give you the park’s latest creation–The Best DVD In The World* (*At This Moment In Time). Let’s take a look, as we always do in this scenario, at the episodes this DVD has to offer!
“Slam Dunk” – When Mordo gets a call from Margaret requesting for him to create a website for her, he is mortified to realize that Muscle Man & Fives already have the computer reserved, despite not even using it and instead playing basketball outside. So the four end up in a two-on-two basketball match–winner gets a week of computer rights. When they fail miserably, Mordo angrily kicks the basketball and says that basketball sucks. At this very moment, the God of Basketball arrives from the sky and offers to teach the two how to become real naturals at the sport. Moments later the God is horrified when he sees how bad Mordo & Rigs truly are, so he decides to sweeten the deal by giving them his powers. After Mordo and Rigs effortlessly beat Muscle Man & Fives at a game–by now the reservation has been extended to two months–they concoct a plan where Fives fakes an injury. Since Muscle Man’s only teammate is “hurt”, he chooses the God himself to substitute–and even worse, the God grants him his powers as well…
“Cool Bikes” – When Benson confiscates the golf cart from Mordo & Rigs and replaces it with two manual bikes, they strike a deal with him. The deal went like this: if Benson admitted they were cool, he had to give the cart back. After re-designing the bikes and getting new digs at Das Coolest, they are still unsuccessful with Benson. After Benson confronting them again in the middle of a whole circle of people, Mordo & Rigs finally crack and tell Benson that they don’t care what he thinks. At this point, Mordo & Rigs are taken to a space shuttle which highly resembles the Death Star with shades, having been arrested for “being too cool”…
“The Best Burger In The World” – When Mordo, Rigs, Muscle Man, Fives, Skips, and Pops are at the house’s front steps excitedly discussing the forthcoming arrival of the Grill Em’ Up truck–home of the Ulti-Meatum, “the best burger in the world”–Mordo and Rigs’ chances are smashed like a beef cattle when they realize they have a hunch of unfinished work to do from the previous week. Benson sets the stakes even higher when he says that the two cannot even think about getting their Ulti-Meatums until their work was done. Worse yet, they must suffer watching their colleagues pig out on their burgers–oh, and if you want to know what an Ulti-Meatum is made out of, here we go. It’s a cheeseburger, stuffed inside a cheeseburger, with two deep-fried cheeseburgers as buns. So it’s basically a triple cheeseburger, plus the added Himalayan ketchup. (If you ask for it Idaho-style, a whole bag of potato chips is added.) At Skips’ garage which the two are cleaning out, they uncover the Hologram 9000. This is a machine that can turn anyone’s image into a hologram, even with realism settings! With the truck’s final call for burgers on the line, they make their holograms, set up the trick, and go order their Ulti-Meatums. Unfortunately, the holograms come to life with minds of their own…
“More Smarter” – Mordecai believes he was smarter than Rigby ever since he became a dropout at his high school, and not becoming a recipient of his diploma in the process. His lack of high school wisdom is really exemplified when he fails to calculate a math problem involving the enclosure for the park’s turtles. After unsuccessfully returning to high school–only falling asleep and engaging in a dream sequence where he graduated–he tries to get his diploma online, where he stumbles across an ad for an intelligence-boosting drink. He takes the formula and defies its rules by ingesting more than the prescribed amount, and indeed becomes smarter. When Mordo takes the same drink, he becomes as smart as Rigs, leading to a fight to determine who is “more smarter”…
“Rap It Up” – Mordo & Rigs are spectating as the famed rap group CrewCrew drop hot rhymes in rap battles at the park snack bar. Pops shows up, accidentally rendering the rap as poetry, and only gets called a “loser” when he tries to recite some of his own. This agitates him and leads him to challenge CrewCrew to a rap battle, but Mordo & Rigs take him under their–lemme rephrase, they shove him under their wing due to Pops’ lack of knowledge on rapping. When they attempt to practice, Pops drops out of the battle due to “the rude nature” of rap, and how Rigby defined rap to him. Everything starts going downhill when Pops buys matching poetry suits for him, Mordo, and Rigs, and despite initially quitting they take Skips’ advice and attend the battle. This is where it is shown that poetry really is a strong opponent towards rap, despite being its polar opposite…
“Weekend at Benson’s” – This is a major example of how the biggest situations can occur out of the smallest scenarios at the park. When Benson requests that Mordo & Rigs hold the ladder for him as he goes to change the lightbulb on a park lamppost, but an argument between the two over who was annoying him causes the ladder to fall–taking Benson with it. His impact with the ground actually knocks him out cold, and a now panicked pair decide to conceal Benson’s closed eyes with a pair of sunglasses and continue the day using Benson like a puppet. They manage to have a successful conversation with Muscle Man by positioning his arms into different gestures, and just as they are about to take him to his apartment room one of his neighbors–Audrey–shows up. Apparently Benson had made a deal with Audrey to attend her party, and despite initial rejection they refuse to accept the disappointment on Audrey’s face and go anyway. When Audrey’s boyfriend Chuck aka “The Iron Stomach”–which is accentuated by the “FE” on his shirt, FE resembling iron on the periodic table–begins hassling Benson, Mordecai manages to make Benson knock Chuck’s water out of his hands. This leads to an intense eating contest centric to every hot food you can think of, and remember folks–this is against a guy nicknamed the Iron Stomach…
“Camping Can Be Cool” – At the coffee shop, Mordo & Rigs are watching the weather channel at the coffee shop, which dictates that the weekend will have plenty of nice sunlight. When Eileen questions the two’s concern over the weather, it is shown that they are actually planning for a weekend camping trip. Shockingly, Margaret has never been on a camping trip, so Mordo happily invites the two on the trip which infuriates Rigs. After a musical montage of a car ride, they arrive at National Forest where Mordo rebelliously directs them to a restricted area of the forest. After various fun and rather typical camping activities–and another musical montage–they are caught by a park ranger. And to make things go from bad to worse, Margaret accidentally left her keys in ignition inside the car. And to make things go from worse to even worse, they come across a horrifying monster lurking in the woods…
“Trash Boat” – While watching a band-centric show, a rock star named The Urge is asked how he got his name. He answers that he merely conglomerated two random words, and Rigs wishes to change his name in the exact same manner. When he sees a pile of trash and a picture of a boat, he settles on his new name: “Trash Boat”. But Mordo’s teases are no match for him, as he actually bears his name change certificate to being “Trash Boat”. When Rig–sorry, Trash Boat realizes he needs fifty bucks to switch his name back, he only becomes the laughingstock of the park when he attempts to find extra work. When he gets fed up with the mockery, especially when Benson forces him to wear a name tag, he proceeds to hide in an alley and cry. At this moment, the obese and bald Urge shows up via portal, wanting to eliminate Trash Boat due to stealing the fame and absurdity of his name…
“Butt Dial” – After a game night with Marge and Eileen, a elation-stricken Mordecai doesn’t even care when Rigby plays with the buttons of his phone. The feeling rots like an abandoned apple when he realizes that he had butt dialed Marge a voicemail–more specifically, a self-sung love song called “Having A Good Time”–and sent it to her while taking out the trash in the golf cart. Mordo and Rigs then engage in a typical find-the-phone-and-erase-the-message mission to prevent Mordo from hitting ultimate humiliation. The first leg of the mission occurs at–not surprisingly–the coffee shop, where Mordo ends up knocking Marge’s phone out of her hands when she sees a new message and into a cup of coffee. When this turns out to be Eileen’s phone, Marge gives Mordo and Rigs the ability to search in her car for the phone. When they realize she had left it at the house with Pops during game night, they rush back home. After three failures of trying to unlock her passcode, they are transported to the Phone Guardians who plan to “erase” the pair for hacking into Marge’s phone…
“Think Positive” – When Pops decides to play with the childish side of him by catching butterflies, drawing, and playing with toys, his elation is frequently hindered by Benson yelling at Mordo and Rigs. When Benson’s yelling pushes Pops to dangling at the end of his rope, he makes Benson never yell again or face being fired. Ironic, considering he’s the boss. Anyway, Mordo & Rigs push themselves to do wild and mischievous activities without Benson’s yelling threatening them, rendering Benson almost powerless in stopping them. After unsuccessfully trying to control his temper, he relies on the Internet, anger management tapes, and other things to keep his cool, but none work. While hearing a tape, Benson–along with all of us–realizes why he began yelling in the first place: he was encouraged to as a kid by his family. But when Mordo & Rigs crash a cart into a tree, Benson reaches his boiling point, where he begins fuming as much as his gumballs and stores all his anger in a way that begins slowly absorbing the park…
“Video Game Wizards” – After a gaming session, Mordo & Rigs come across a commercial for the Maximum Glove–the Reg Show world’s spoof of the Nintendo Power Glove–that will be the grand prize of the Game Inferno Tournament at the Ferguson Convention Center. (Yes, when I say Ferguson, I do mean GBF.) When Rigs gets suspicious about Mordo’s lack of enthusiasm for the tournament, he realizes why moments later–Mordo had already chosen Skips to be his partner. A crushed Rigs dolefully decides to tag along with the two on their trip, aggressively and repeatedly bombing Mordo for his decision. He even went so far make a mix-tape song (called “Never Pick Their Friends”) that epitomizes Rigs’ statements. On day one of the tournament, Mordo is nice enough to put Rigs down as the alternate during their registration, but Rigs is infuriated from this and starts a fight between the two in the middle of the convention center. The quarrel ultimately ends in Rigs storming away after having uttered a sentence I don’t think I’ll ever forget: “I hope you have as much fun winning the glove as you did losing your best friend.” After this blow to Mordo’s self-esteem, they proceed to make their way through the tournament until they reach the tournament finals, where he finally realizes that the Maximum Glove wasn’t as important as their friendship…
“Skips vs. Technology” – Now, before I even explain the premise of the episode, I’ll have you know something about Skips: he was granted immortality, is exactly 6’1″, and claims to know many things to those of the unknown–or as he sometimes calls it, “everything.” But in this episode, we realize that this is all a little white lie, because there’s one thing Skips is terrible at–working anything in the criteria of a computer. Actually, we learn a lot about Skips in this episode–he’s been helping at the park since it was a Revolutionary War battlefield in the 1700s, for instance. But when Mordo and Rigs come across an “error 219” while designing and printing something, Skips unsuccessfully attempts to help and only makes the error worse. Skips refuses to believe that he cannot fix everything, and after learning about fixing the error–and pretty much using a computer–he returns only to find the error growing bigger. It is now an “error 220” after Mordo and Rigs tried to fix it, and he finds little to no guidance or help from the rude youths at the computer help zone. The youths decide to have a lunch break and call Techmo to help Skips. But we see that ever since the Revolutionary times where Skips had fixed Techmo’s–or should I call him by his original name, Samson’s–prosthetic arm, he’s gotten his old wooden one changed to a robotic one and landed a job as a computer master aka “technomancer”. After Techmo’s unsuccessful error-220 lesson, it is shown that the error 200 is actually a virus named Doom Ma Geddon. Like a real medical virus, Doom Ma Geddon infects Techmo in a possession fashion, turning him in a malevolent, sinister beast that digitizes everything he touches…
“Eggscellent” – (This episode won the 2012 Primetime Emmy Award for Short-Format Animated Program!) While watching a rather generic action show which consists of basically lots of vehicle flipping, Mordo and Rigs come across a commercial for an eating challenge. The challenge is a twelve-egg omelet, and whomever eats the entire thing–plus two dinner rolls and a bowl of fruit–will win a trucker hat that declares them “eggscellent”, hence the episode’s name. Rigs quickly gets obsessed with the hat while Mordo thinks it is lame, but he gets dragged into trying out the big omelet anyway. Even when a waiter warns him of the omelet and asks him to try another entree, Rigs is dead set on completing the challenge–and nearly dies for real when he gets a gnarly allergic reaction. Mordo makes a promise to Rigs that he would get the hat, just before Rigs falls into a coma from the reaction. After letting out a majority of his anger on Benson, he realizes that the hat is not for regular sale and fails his first try at the challenge. At the hospital Rigs is at, Benson presents Mordo with the journal of Johnathan Kimble, a former park worker that had tried the Eggscellent Challenge in the same way Mordo is now. He had concocted a plan to make eating the food easier, such as crushing the eggs, crumbling the rolls, and mixing them into a glass of water that came with the omelet. Unfortunately, he was never seen again after this. The next time Mordo tries the omelet, now having trained himself in Kimble’s ways, the waiters are astonished at his skill in eating the omelet. In fact, rather jealous to the point where they try to thwart him…
“Muscle Mentor” – When Rigs and Mordo argue about whether or not they should have a coffee, Rigs brings up one of his rebellious statements at how Benson never pays attention to what they do. Unfortunately, he chose the wrong time to be a rebel–Benson was right behind him, overhearing the entire conversation. Right there on the spot, Rigs is fired, but manages to get another chance due to not being able to do work from a lack of proper training. So Rigs is assigned to have a mentor–unfortunately, that mentor is Muscle Man. Even worse, he is literally on him at all times with Muscle’s trusty mentoring harness. Rigs must complete a shift of work worth eight hours of effort, and if he cannot he is automatically fired. If Rigs cannot take the work, or Muscle feels like Rigs is gradually unable to, he pulls the red cord that literally confirms Rigs being booted from the park roster. He must also work under Muscle’s three rules:
- Stay calm.
- Stay cool.
- Forget the first two rules, never quit.
Although Rigs manages to complete his shift, the real trouble starts unfolding post-shift, where Rigs finally reaches his boiling point with ole Muscle…
“Fists of Justice” – While Mordo and Rigs are playing a video game, they are unexpectedly approached by Skips. Turns out that for his birthday six months ago, the two had pitched in to create a coupon that cashed in a day of Skips’ work to the two. And if his chores weren’t finished, the world would come to an end. They manage to get everything done except moving Skips’ humongous harpsichord, which gets stuck in the front door and–with the harpsichord acting as a fire hazard–the two call Skips. Skips’ meditating session is halted by the call, and although he accepts the offer he eventually gets his fingers crushed by the harspichord’s lid. Before he can explain why he was gone, Gary–remember, the Guardians of Eternal Youth’s messenger–picks him up to fight Klorgbane the Destroyer. They decide to hitch a ride on Gary’s El Camino due to their worry for Skips, and–for not the first time on the show–they wind up at the Guardians’ palace. With Skips’ broken fingers being worthless against Klorgbane, and when he is defeated his colleagues pitch in and request for the Guardians to grant them the Fists of Justice…(So yeah, basically call it “Free Cake 2”.)
“Trucker Hall of Fame” – (This episode was the show’s first official Father’s Day special.) When Muscle Man attempts to wish his father a happy Father’s Day to his dad through his trucker radio in his trailer, he is visited by his brother John whom silently informs his brother on his father’s death by presenting his trucker hat. Later at the funeral, where Muscle Man flips out after stating the cause of “Muscle Dad”‘s demise–putting a cactus under a cop in a bear suit, whom turned out to be a live bear–he manages to keep his cool and announces that for “the ultimate Father’s Day tribute”, he would take an urn of his dad’s cremated remains to the Trucker Hall of Fame. Y’know, where they’d be spread and all. Benson requests for Mordo and Rigs to accompany Muscle on his trip–since Fives didn’t do good with deaths–and on the road he flips for the second time, after one of the knobs on his radio breaks. When he eventually makes a bathroom stop, the three uncover a heartbreaking realization–Muscle Dad, “the best trucker in the world”, isn’t even a trucker at all. He had simply posed in one of those put-your-face-here pictures, which is shocking considering the picture even got his green skin tone perfect. When Muscle Man breaks a picture of his father, he finds a note inside–written by Muscle Dad himself–apologizing for lying to him after all these years. Despite this, they continue their trip to the Hall of Fame, they are stopped by a pair of guards as menacing as the pack of ghastly trucker spirits they encounter…
Oh, that was everything. 😆 And by the way, the special feature of this DVD is merely a collection of employee profiles. Better than Slack Pack‘s special feature short, at least. Anyway, the DVD is out right now, so you can save up your money and go see/reminisce the most highlighted moments of the show’s third season! 😀
Stay classy, America,
Video of the Week: To pretty much summarize everything I went over today, I decided to put up this five-minute video from hottopic. It’s an interview with the show’s creator, JG Quintel. That’s short for James Garland Quintel, I’ll have you know. And it’s not “quin-till” or “quin-tull”, it’s “quin-tell”. It’s like the proper pronunciation of “Samus” these days–how do these people come up with such differing versions? Anyway, in the interview JG goes over juicy details like how he got his start in cartooning, the one show he loved as a kid, how the show’s characters actually debuted (not just on the show), why he chose animal characters over human characters, and what makes these unique characters rather normal people. It got put up back in September, and so far it’s gotten almost 73,000 hits with almost 5,000 likes! Lemme show you some of the praise this video–plus JG and Reg Show itself–received in the comments:
“my dad digs regular show and he is 53 years old” – abunzamobi
“I love Regular Show and J.G Quintel. <3” – TheLionKingSimbaFan
“U know who else likes regular show and Cartoon Network? My mom!!!!!! XD” – anniedr21
“Its a good show you should give it a try, and if you don’t like it, thats cool, not my problem, but it is really funny” – Colleen Hand
“It’s so weird to hear Mordecai’s exact voice coming out of an unanimated person” – thefailguy12
- From 0:00-1:33 in the video, JG is shown behind a collection of encased plastic figures resembling Cartoon Network characters. How many can you name?
- Throughout the whole video, clips from Reg Show episodes are shown. Can you name all the episodes?
- JG actually provides the voice for one of the park workers on the show. Who is that worker?
Oh and by the way, happy Thanksgiving. What do you expect to do to celebrate the one day a year where it’s actually somewhat mandatory to eat to your belly’s content?
And here’s some Thanksgiving facts for you:
- Did you know that Thanksgiving has been an official holiday since 1863, when Abraham Lincoln (whom was President by then) had declared a day of “thanksgiving of praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens”.
- Did you know that Thanksgiving is on different dates in different countries? The American version is on the fourth Thursday of every November, the Canadian version is on the second Monday of every October, the Liberian version is on the first Thursday of every November, and the Norfolk Island version is on the final Wednesday of every November.
- Did you know that when the Pilgrims first celebrated Thanksgiving, they ate with only spoons, knives, and fingers? Yep, no forks.
- Did you know that Ben Franklin had wanted the turkey to be our national bird instead of the bald eagle?
- Did you know that magazine editor Sarah Hale had convinced Lincoln to create Thanksgiving?
- Did you know that Hale was also the author behind “Mary Had A Little Lamb”?
- Did you know that in America almost 300 million turkeys are sold for Thanksgiving occasions?
- Did you know that America’s largest turkey-consuming state is California?
- Did you know that a turkey has more protein than both chicken and beef?
- Did you know that only male turkeys gobble, while females (aka “hens”) cluck?
- Did you know that turkeys have heart attacks, as shown when turkeys within the range of the US Air Force’s sound barrier fracture died from heart attacks?
Here’s to a day of feasting. Gobble, gobble, gobble.