Update status: Complicated.

Tag Archives: noobs


Hey guys, it’s Sam with another noob-pwnin’ good time on PWN SOME NOOBS! (Oh, you miss the stylization? It’s easier to do without.) I’m here to announce a brand new adventure this fall, on September 13 (it’ll be a Tuesday, guys). It used to be an Xbox Arcade game, but it do-si-doed onto a full retailer. Twisted Pixel (the studio behind the ‘Splosion Man duo) brought us the ultimate spaghetti Western journey. Become the true western puppeteer in…

You thought the Western subgenre of action-adventure had crippled since Fatshark’s Lead and Gold last year. You’re wrong, partner! Twisted Pixel took a break from its action-platforming comic world and decided to put on the ol’ cowboy hat. The game is set as an Old Western play. So the third-person shooter is played like it was acted out in a theater. (The sets are 2D pieces of wood, the zombie cowboy himself is just a puppet!) The beginning footage is actually live-action when people attend to see the play (shot at an Austin, TX theater). You play as the Gunstringer, an undead one-eyed marionette betrayed by his posse, and as he rises from his grave, he plans an unholy vengeance. (Dead-Eye Plankton all over again…) So you’re playing as a zombie cowboy…how convenient.

The day when your finger guns paid off.

The rating has been confirmed as T for Teen for blood, cartoon violence, drug reference, and sexual themes. (Kind of like western Sims.) So, you wanna know how the game works?

Left hand – Controls the Gunstringer’s movement.

Right hand – Aiming and firing the Gunstringer’s gun.

Left and right hands – During rail shooter moments of the game, they can both be used to handle two guns at once.

There’s also the element of marking multiple villains to fire, and all marked villains are shot with that handy gesture. This game will also come with codes to download the first DLC (Wavy Tube Man Chronicles), and Fruit Ninja Kinect.

HOW THE GAME MIGHT RULE

It’s like Rango died, came back from the grave, and embarked on another Western adventure. Maybe the whole mechanic will run swimmingly, and it will all result in a great spaghetti Western adventure. It looks good just by looking at the cover.

HOW IT MIGHT NOT

Question: Why would you ever make a motion-sensor shooter? It sounds a little weird. And the controls might completely wonk out and the game could have crumbled like the Pentagon during 9/11. Just saying…

CRITICS CALL

The reviews have been mostly positive with critics’ first hands-on perspectives of the game.

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I would consider buying this game if it’s that good of a romp. But dust off your finger guns and prepare for unholy battle in The Gunstringer, lassoing retailers everywhere this September. Check out this trailer to know the game a bit more!

So long, partner. We’ll do-si-do again on Sammwak, because the old saying goes: “If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.”

Your cowboy,

Sam

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Hey guys it’s Sam, and sorry about the long hiatus. Luckily, I have a new treat within a new segment for video games, called Pwn Some Noobs (or, for stylization, PWN SOM3 N00B$!), as a substitute for Gamecritic. You know there are a lot of Game Critics around Google? Today, we’ll take a deep look at one game that you can’t not know. It was the first game for the Xbox 360’s Kinect, back in November 2010. Unveiled at the 2010 E3,  today’s token is the adventurous Kinect Adventures. It’s not the Kinect’s instant killer app, but is it worth the hassle? Let’s find out.

Revving it up in Rallyball!

Kinect Adventures was the Microsoft Studios-Good Science team’s treat for a good kickoff for a new contraption. It was actually featured with every Kinect bought, a “pack-in game”, you might call it. There’s only five mini games, but lots of modes to choose from. Players could take it easy with Free Play, or they could fight for rewards in Adventure Mode, winning achievements and completing journeys. I didn’t had much interest of this game at first, but then I jumped into Adventure Mode. My eyes were opened, and it is now one of my most-played X360 games. The environments are vivid and breathtaking, the sensor does a jolly good job of motion tracking, and the rewards are definitely enough bangs for your buck. Oh, and don’t forget that sleek interface. And don’t get me wrong, it got fairly positive critical feedback. There’s even a solid storyline to keep everything afloat. And it sold a mind-blowing 10 million copies with the Kinect, which ranks as the second-highest sale, behind Call of Duty: Black Ops. Here are the parts where it got a little bumpy.

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– Even at Advanced, excluding time challenges, Adventure Mode is super easy. Not only does it hand successes to you like it’s nobody’s business, but you also have lots of living statues to record.

– Gaming is repetitive with only five mini games: River Rush, where you use your motion to steer down river rapids, Reflex Ridge, where you jump, duck, and dodge your way through an obstacle course, Space Pop, where you use flight and hovering to pop bubbles, 20,000 Leaks, where you use your body to fix leaks started by fish, and Rallyball, where you scramble about sending balls flying into blocks and targets.. Even if they take place at different destinations, it’s still the same thing over and over again.

– Show Off & Share photos bear cheesy, embarrassing captions, like “Superhero Moment”, “Oo! Oo! Call On Me!”, and “Surf the Floor”.

–  Space Pop is punishingly hard if you don’t read the directions. Take it from me, as I was absolutely clueless upon what to do. Despite the fact that I ended up collecting 196 pins…go figure.

– The game has an annoying way of telling you you’re in the wrong place. In the top left corner, a huge pop-up will pop up and indicate where you are in your space! Not only is that annoying, but it’s super annoying!

– Games get real old, real fast. Even critics will tell you the exact same thing.

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CRITICS CALL

The game walked away with lots of sixes and sevens, and churning out only one eight. GameSpot gave the game a 7.0, saying: “This motion-based minigame collection is inconsistent, but it gives you a good excuse to start leaping and scrambling around with your new Kinect.” The game got a critic score of 6.6, while users bumped up their own score to a 7.3. Metacritic coughed up a 61 out of 100 for Kinect Adventures, and 1UP.com with a B at 80/100. G4’s X-Play gave the game 4 out of 5 stars overall.

FINALE

Kinect Adventures rallies up a 7 out of 10, a 7.0 out of 10, and a 72 out of 100. If you get the Kinect, please get some other game, because this game gets old and won’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours. Capiche? Oh, and you know what else doesn’t have the interest rate to last you more than 2 hours? Today’s question, which comes from a user named FickDBanana…Fick again? Anyways, he said: “If you could start your own cereal business, what would you name your first cereal?” You heard the bananabrain! What would you name your own cereal?…This should be good. Leave your creative answers in my comment section, or via email.

This is Sam on Sammwak, and see you next Friday where we get to, again, PWN SOM3 N00B$!

Yours truly,

Sam